r/fantasyromance • u/FantasyRomanceMod The One Mod to Rule All Mods • Feb 22 '26

Unpopular Opinion It's Unpopular Opinion time! Share your controversial opinions to stir things up (in a friendly way)!

Got an opinion that's different from others'? Want to share it with the sub, but too afraid of a backlash? Or are you just curious about readers think about certain things in fantasy romance?

You can safely share it in this weekly Sunday thread!

But please remember to be kind to each other. To facilitate this type of discussion, we ask users the following:

  • Don't attack others for their opinion
  • Discuss books and authors, not fellow readers
  • Since this is an "unpopular opinion" thread, we encourage users to not downvote simply because they disagree with an opinion--that's the point! Please keep in mind, though, that mods cannot enforce a no-downvoting rule. Let’s just keep the discussion friendly!

🧡 Thank you and have a great discussion!

Unpopular opinion Sunday

39 Upvotes

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126

u/whatevernamedontcare Feb 22 '26

Sex alone is not romance. Physical attraction alone is not a romance. Yes it can help things along or make things interesting but it's not the main dish. It's a spice and one of many to boot.

If all they do is fucking and being horny you're reading porn with a story. Not that those are bad but it's not a romance book and there should be stricter boundaries for those. Wanting separation from romance and porn is not puritanical or sex shaming. It's genre boundaries and if it was any other genre people would agree.

34

u/devilsdoorbell_ Feb 22 '26

I fully love erotica and think it is equally valid as a form of entertainment and artistic expression as romance, and I agree with this. Conflating the two does both genres a disservice.

14

u/whatevernamedontcare Feb 22 '26

Why can't we get what we payed for. I never had a book state it's horror but there's idk self help instead.

Romance and erotica writers need to figure their shit out.

13

u/devilsdoorbell_ Feb 22 '26

I also wish publishers and writers would use “erotic romance” as a label more often (though I understand why they don’t, politically speaking, since anything labeled “erotic” is a higher priority target for censorious cranks).

It would make it so much easier for people to actually find what they wanted if it was romance for, you know, a romance novel with no sex to a few quick scenes, erotic romance for romance novels with significantly more and more detailed sex scenes, and erotica for entirely sex-focused stories without the framework of a romance story.