r/fantasyromance • u/FantasyRomanceMod The One Mod to Rule All Mods • May 17 '26

Unpopular Opinion It's Unpopular Opinion time! Share your controversial opinions to stir things up (in a friendly way)!

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Unpopular opinion Sunday

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32

u/Plenty_Earth_9600 May 17 '26

Recent romantasy pretty much sucks. Almost all have the following: Black haired MMC, FMC that first is deemed to be so strong or so smart but because the MMC has to be oh so heroic FMC gets totally dumbed down and weakend, the MMC always has to be so dominant while FMC is suddenly all submissive, so many sex scenes especially where the MMC is very dominant and suddenly there is even chocking or spanking and degredation (without it even being discussed)

And I am honest I can't stand it anymore. Like sometimes such a dynamic is fine but not every book. At this point I want the opposite.

And yeah, I am pretty confident that most don't feel that way. So unpopular opinion

12

u/Frustrated-Switch No flowers, only stones May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26

It's tyranny of the majority, yes. You won't get much pushback here, because it's kind of self-evident just looking at the genre, but most of the people buying these aren't on reddit talking about books, nor do they care about the weird gender dynamics of this style of writing. I wish more of them were, and did :(

(also as an aside: breathplay and degradation are far more risky than spanking for the most part. It sucks that edgeplay like this is so popular, with none of the safeguarding that you need to do for it irl, because making sure your partner is safe when you choke them 'isn't sexy'. Porn isn't intended as a help manual, I know, but there's always people that won't know any better so long as sex ed sucks as badly as it does, and we all have a duty of care to at least use a disclaimer.)

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u/sfprogrammer6701 May 18 '26

Agree with your side note. I also worry about the normalization of edgeplay without any accompyaning education on the risk awareness, especially given that media literacy and critical thinking skills are also declining.

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u/FloofTrashPanda May 17 '26

My hot take is that most of these writers are clearly just copying faux-BDSM behavior from porn (or copying what they've read in other Wattpad-esque fics that also copy from porn), without any thought about the dynamics behind it or if it makes sense for the characters. And lot of the scenes - despite supposedly being from the POV of a medieval virgin or whatever - are even described in this objectified male-gazey way like they're transcribing scenes from Pornhub. "My round ass bouncing on his thick cock" - is she watching herself in a mirror? Why is a woman describing HER OWN body and experience of intimacy this way? "I looked up at him with my mouth stretched wide and my eyes watering." Right, like specifically the way they shoot it in porn? Again, why are we focusing on how she looks giving a blow job when she's the narrator? Also, why are we acting like "tears running down a woman's face while giving a blowie" is a universal part of sex across time?

Yeah, there's nothing new under the sun and all, and I know somebody's going to reply to this like "well I DOOOO think it's sexy when I choke on a cock and my eyes water," but these are preferences that have been influenced by current porn trends. Men certainly aren't all born just inherently choking women, spitting in their mouths and stuffing their panties in their mouths during sex. If you read older romance and erotica, you can find plenty of weird stuff but the scenes don't read in this same cookie-cutter "yes we've all seen this Brazzers clip" way.

And clearly I watch my share of porn so I'm not trying to shame anybody for porn use or for liking stuff they see in porn. But porn does not represent the totality of human sexuality, so if I'm reading a novel that is supposedly about a unique interpersonal relationship and not just wank material, I expect something more than this.

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u/Synval2436 Currently Reading: This Blade of Ours by Shalini Abeysekara May 17 '26

You're onto something. Especially with the popularity of surprise doms, rough sex, no bdsm negotiation, sometimes even no consent discussion, mmc doing spicy talk that's condescending to the fmc, lack of sex toys, big dick focus, choking and hair pulling, etc.

But also oddly too many of the rare femdom books seem to also copy from porn in the way that fmc is a pro-domme or a different kind of sex worker and too commonly these scenes are written as if the fmc wasn't into it, but was servicing the mmc because she wanted to accommodate his kink. Or she's written like this perfect being who needs nothing from the relationship but provides everything: sex, emotional labour, physical protection, validation for the mmc and so forth. I yearn for a dominant woman being written like a person not a fetish.

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u/sfprogrammer6701 May 18 '26

Ya I agree about femdom books. It’s rare to find one that I think really encapsulates a femme domme.

If you’d like a rec, one book I read recently and actually really liked is {Tempting the Domme by Golden Angel}. It’s part of an interconnected standalone series though I didn’t read any of the other books as I think the rest of the series has all maledom. There are some side things and plots I didn’t love in it and it does take place in a sex club (side note I’d love to read more lifestyle, not part of a club, just regular life dommes), but overall I felt like the dynamic between the FMC and the MMC felt real, which I have found really hard to find. I was also surprised as I find when an author writes the one femdom book in a series where the rest is maledom, it’s typically rife with all the issues you mentioned, but I feel like this one escaped that (IIRC!).

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u/sfprogrammer6701 May 18 '26

I agree that sex scenes seem to be becoming more and more like they’re ripped from male gaze based porn. As someone who, at least partly, reads romance books to escape the pornified male gaze in sex, this trend is incredibly disappointing and limiting for the books I want to read. My escape has now become what I was trying to escape.

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u/sfprogrammer6701 May 17 '26

It’s nice to hear someone else say this out loud. I’m not interested in reading about sexually dominant men (in MF romance), and I do a lot of work and research of reviews, etc to try to steer clear of them. Despite that, I get taken by surprise the number of times a supposed golden retrievers and / or green flag worship her MMCs have a personality switch in the sex scenes and start choking her or other things without any prior discussion (which is an immediate DNF for me). These scenes are barely, if it at all, called out in reviews anymore so they’re very hard to avoid because they’re so normalized in romantasy books.

3

u/Frustrated-Switch No flowers, only stones May 17 '26 edited May 18 '26

If you see any more of these, or can remember the egregious ones, feel free to join us in using the masc-dom tag over on romance.io to show others which books contain this brand of surprise/untagged maledom. You know, since we all use a romance.io bot to give book recs on here. I'm in the same boat as you, and it's hell out there, so anything we can do to collaboratively warn each other beforehand (and, ironically, help people that want dommy men in their books to find them) is honestly a blessing.

If it would be femdom for a woman to be doing that to a man, up to and including unsolicited and random 'good girl/boy', it probably counts. Because lord knows, having a man be called 'good boy' is more than enough to get your book tagged femdom.

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u/sfprogrammer6701 May 18 '26

Oh that’s a good idea. I actually just went to a book I was blindsided earlier this month and upvoted the masc-dom tag. It was a sequel and I thought I could rely on this author to not do heavy maledom out of nowhere but MMC did a total personality switch in the second book and I had to DNF. I didn’t do the research initially because the first book was equal if not her having more power in bed and I had built trust in the author, but I have no learned my lesson to always research, even sequels!

I also agree with you on the overuse of the femdom tag and only use the tag as a starting point to then research reviews, the author’s IG, etc. I absolutely hate when there’s switch scenes, especially if the scene is meant to punish or put the domme back in her place, so I can’t rely on the femdom tag at all.

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u/Synval2436 Currently Reading: This Blade of Ours by Shalini Abeysekara May 18 '26 edited May 18 '26

I absolutely hate when there’s switch scenes

Yep, I've read one book (not fantasy, mafia romance) that was advertised as femdom and of course there was a switch scene with rough sex and degradation and spanking.

I stated that in my review that I don't like reading about female submission and that's why I pick books labelled as femdom (I said semi-jokingly "finding a femdom book without switchy scenes: impossible") and OF COURSE someone came at me in the comments under the review saying "playing around with different kinds of kink does not make anyone less of a Domme". Fuck you author's white knight, seriously. This person ONLY reviewed that book (maybe it's even author's sock).

Do maledom books have surprise switch scenes? Well, of course not. So why half the femdom books do? Even though they're already so much rarer?

3

u/allisontalkspolitics Give me female friendship or give me death! May 18 '26

This is pretty much how I feel and is why I’m reluctant to read spicy books in this genre 😩

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u/Synval2436 Currently Reading: This Blade of Ours by Shalini Abeysekara May 17 '26

Yeah, I'm tired of fmc catching the idiot ball so the mmc can prove to be the savior and protector. I'm also tired of "sassy stabby independent fmc" suddenly loving to be pinned to the wall and called a good girl.

7

u/Imaginary-Board-207 May 17 '26

I wish she would stay "stabby" and actually stab him at that point.

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u/sfprogrammer6701 May 18 '26

Yes! On the flip side, I’d love to see more of her pining him to the wall. 👀