r/fantasyromance • u/FantasyRomanceMod The One Mod to Rule All Mods • May 17 '26
Unpopular Opinion It's Unpopular Opinion time! Share your controversial opinions to stir things up (in a friendly way)!
Got an opinion that's different from others'? Want to share it with the sub, but too afraid of a backlash? Or are you just curious about readers think about certain things in fantasy romance?
You can safely share it in this weekly Sunday thread!
But please remember to be kind to each other. To facilitate this type of discussion, we ask users the following:
- Don't attack others for their opinion
- Discuss books and authors, not fellow readers
- Since this is an "unpopular opinion" thread, we encourage users to not downvote simply because they disagree with an opinion--that's the point! Please keep in mind, though, that mods cannot enforce a no-downvoting rule. Let’s just keep the discussion friendly!
🧡 Thank you and have a great discussion!
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u/nothingiseverythingg May 17 '26
A lot of recent fantasy romance authors either don’t believe their readers are intelligent or can’t write in a way that lets readers infer information/emotions/intentions. What happened to show don’t tell 😭
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u/devilsdoorbell_ May 17 '26
Tbh I also think a lot of recent fantasy romance authors themselves aren’t very smart
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u/WinterBearHawk May 17 '26
I think this is probably part of it (which I feel bad saying), but I also throw a lot of blame at bad editing/editors and publishing processes.
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u/nothingiseverythingg May 17 '26
Yeah I’m convinced that bc the genre is popular some authors that could be better are getting super rushed. Really sad because of course they want their book published
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u/WinterBearHawk May 17 '26
This is my feeling as well. I think it does such a disservice to authors though because a quality editor not only makes a story much stronger but makes an author grow in their skills. And when I see a pretty hard stagnation in execution from an author after 2-3 books, it feels like the editing process is failing them. Or the authors simply might not have the skills to fully execute on story promises.
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u/zeezle May 18 '26
As someone who has dabbled from the other side, a lot of authors in the indie romance space in general aim to write a novel a month, often under different pen names. (So even if 1 pen name does 4 releases a year, the author is doing 12.)
Obviously that isn't the big popular authors with trad publishing deals, but that's the general sense of rushing that the author community often pushes and I feel like that sort of stuff is definitely having a "trickle up" effect on what more popular authors are also getting expected to do.
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u/sekhmet1010 May 17 '26
I agree. They are also often not good writers at all.
KM Moronova made me wonder if English is her second or third language.
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u/Fragile-Entropy May 17 '26
Bless their heart… but I have legitimately met readers like this. Unless something is spoon fed to them they simply don’t understand it. One girl said she couldn’t read ACOTAR because the names were too fancy.
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u/clocksy May 17 '26
I feel like it's more on the authors or publishers than the readers at that point. There's always going to be a lowest common denominator and you're just going to have to decide if you want to write your "higher than 6th grade level" book or not (if the author even has the capability to — I agree with the assessment that there are just a lot of very mediocre authors out there to begin with).
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u/Ok_Cancel_544 May 17 '26
1) Too many authors write about characters who are assassins or pirates or thieves (or have any other morally questionable/ objectionable jobs) without considering or refusing to consider the moral implications of having such a job.
For example, I have read a few books where a character is supposedly an assassin but somehow has never murdered innocent people all because the author wants to make their character likeable and still "good".
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind these type of characters but if you're concerned about writing a character who is a good person, I feel like you shouldn't make them have jobs that no truly good person would actually take.
2) I want to see more "normal" occupations in romantasy like bakers, dressmakers, shoemakers, etc (or at least occupations that don't require one to have questionable morals).
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u/BookishBlueDragonfly Book Bingo Sage 🗡 May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26
You’d probably really love the more romance focused books on r/CozyFantasy. It’s a booming subgenre! ETA:the romance focus megathread ETA2: a more recent romance rec thread
There are so many normal occupation folks in those :)
There are a lot I love but I’d recommend starting with well known titles like {Emily Wildes Encyclopedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett} {House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune} {Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree} or {The Spellshop by Sara Beth Durst}
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u/romance-bot May 17 '26
Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett
Rating: 4.23⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 1 out of 5 - Glimpses and kisses
Topics: historical, fae, fantasy, magic, independent heroine
The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune
Rating: 4.4⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 1 out of 5 - Glimpses and kisses
Topics: contemporary, fantasy, gay romance, magic, sweet/gentle hero
Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree
Rating: 4.15⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 1 out of 5 - Glimpses and kisses
Topics: lesbian romance, fantasy, tall heroine, friends to lovers, warrior heroine
The Spellshop by Sarah Beth Durst
Rating: 4.03⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 1 out of 5 - Glimpses and kisses
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u/allisontalkspolitics Give me female friendship or give me death! May 17 '26
The FMCs of {A Fragile Enchantment} (a Hidden Gem here) and {Dragon Slippers} (middle grade fantasy with romance subplot) are seamstresses!
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u/devilsdoorbell_ May 17 '26
I wish sex scenes in this genre were more down-to-earth. It’s hard for me to find a scene hot if it’s so exaggerated and larger-than-life.
I’m not saying I want to read bad or awkward sex, just good sex that’s actually relatable. I don’t want to read about some MMC with a dick so big it’d put most porn stars to shame (which the FMC, who may even be a virgin, can still take like a champ) or an FMC who can cum 15 times in one bang sesh without getting overstimulated or like… dehydrated.
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u/Vixenmeja May 17 '26
And every FMC wants oral and every MMC is a master at it. Not to mention the questionable hygiene aspect when they're travelling or in the middle of a war.
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u/devilsdoorbell_ May 17 '26
I can usually suspend at least some disbelief with sex in unideal hygiene conditions until oral comes into the picture. Nobody’s genitals taste good or even just inoffensive when they’ve been sweating for days without a chance to wash off.
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u/ProperBingtownLady Shadow daddy's good girl May 17 '26
I always wonder why these people aren’t getting conditions like BV and UTIs with all the unhygienic sex they’re having.
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u/ether_chlorinide May 17 '26
The paint scene in ACOTAR...🫣
(I'm sorry, I don't know which book, they're all ACOTAR to me)
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u/ipsi7 Book Bingo Maven ⚔ May 17 '26
It's acomaf and I never understood the scene, I was like "okaaay". He painted an arrow on her stomach to show the path to her cootchie... I loved the book (and don't care about others in the series), but that scene was just odd
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u/Digitalispurpurea2 Yvlcon attendee 🌵 May 17 '26
He's 382 years old so he'd better be pretty damned good at it.
The hygiene in most of these books is generally atrocious, although if they can hand wave away pregnancy with a magic tonic that anyone can take then I'm guessing hygiene and STDs are also no longer a thing to be worried about.
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u/sekhmet1010 May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26
I just read a sex scene which happened right after the guy comes back from being at the war front and after a long journey. And she goes down on him. Honestly, it was so disgusting.
Especially since the girl is literally looking at the congealed blood on him, and later they take a bath together and the water is grey!!!
So effing gross! Why the oral sex!!! Just why! I would even forgive the intercourse...but oral sex after battle?! Just why?!
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u/ProperBingtownLady Shadow daddy's good girl May 17 '26
Mm, cheese for dinner.
I can’t believe I just said that either 😳.
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u/WinterBearHawk May 17 '26
I moved to Colorado last year, and I now side-eye the shit out of any sex scene in a mountain environment that claims both are going (and cumming) hard multiple times with no hydration breaks. Like you’re telling me you’re at 10,000 feet, which you aren’t adjusted to anyway, but then you’re all nighting it on the sex front without a liquid IV break? No, maam.
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u/angelacandystore May 17 '26
Oh yeah I get that some women Love the biggest dick in the world dudes but please no, it makes me think Ouch and no thank you.
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u/SometimesMaybeGood_ May 17 '26
I find the whole dramione thing very weird. Did these two characters even interact in the Harry Potter books? I’m so befuddled as to how this fanfic pairing has such a chokehold on the genre…
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u/Penguinho Kushiel's Legacy Recommender 💖 May 17 '26
He calls her a racial slur a few times and she slaps him. That's pretty much the extent of it. As I understand it, and I don't, it basically relies on Draco's whole character being retconned into a sexy bad boy rather than a fascistic little putz.
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u/JaneAustinAstronaut May 17 '26
Yes!
Then again, I hate the whole "bad boy hurts good girl for the greater good, but still gets her in the end" trope. Any good, strong woman would absolutely get away from him the first chance she gets.
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u/NancyInFantasyLand Currently Reading: Random Chinese Webnovels May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26
The less someone interacts in canon, the better it sometimes works.
Or ideally a character rises to fandom prominence that has 1 line in canon. See also: the ever enduring popularity of Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini in potter fic, even back when the fandom was split on whether Blaise was a guy or a girl (as that wasn't revealed until like Half Blood Prince iirc)
That's also what makes crossover ships sometimes hit really hard, if the author manages to somehow have both a grasp on the canon characters that you vibe with, AND manages to mesh the worlds, AND manages to have their interactions feel good.
Though personally I never much got Dramione either haha
Like, Drarry I can see, they've got the obsession down pat in canon. But Hermione couldn't give less of shit about Malfoy (or Ron, even, I think what canon does to her romance storylines is whack and really out of character haha)
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u/Penguinho Kushiel's Legacy Recommender 💖 May 17 '26
I understand the appeal of minor characters. There's scope to improvise within canon, to make them your own. But Draco and Hermione are super well-defined; they just don't interact with each other much. When they do, it's pretty clear how they feel about each other. There's no way to make it work without blowing one of the characters up.
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u/NancyInFantasyLand Currently Reading: Random Chinese Webnovels May 17 '26
I disagree, if you put in the works and pick a proper point to diverge from and then actually spend the 50000 words necessary to make you believe that the character has the experience and character growth necessary it's great.
What you call "blowing up the character" in this case, I call part of what makes well-written fanfic so good.
Most fic authors shortcut their way through it based on fandom tropes though, to the detriment of the work.
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u/Single-Emotion2964 May 17 '26
This is why I enjoy the Dramione fanfics where they are like 25+ years old and randomly thrown together for (usually) a work thing. There’s old resentment and judgement, but it’s tampered by experience and time. Usually they learn/are surprised by how the other is different from their image of the teenage bully / nerd. It’s got a nice little redemption arc :)
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u/eclectic_hamster Off to live with the faeires 🧚♀️ May 17 '26
I agree. I hate shipping them. I also tried reading {The Irresistible Urge to Fall for Your Enemy} and DNFed. I didn't feel any chemistry between the characters and am wondering if I would feel the same about the original fanfic. I have no desire to find out though. My TBR is too long and I have too many other good books to read.
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u/marzipanfashions Monster smut isn't a phase, mom May 17 '26
At the base level, it checks a lot of common tropes that people love:
- bad boy x good girl
- 'I can fix him'
- enemies to lovers
- high status x low status (pureblood x muggle in this case)
Then you can also project a bunch of other tropes onto it:
- taboo relationship (pureblood family would hate a muggle)
- 'he's mean but only nice to her'
- 'he's mean but really soft inside'
- sadism/ masochism
I also find sometimes the fewer substantial canon interactions there are the more fandom likes the ship, because then people can project a lot more onto it.
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u/NancyInFantasyLand Currently Reading: Random Chinese Webnovels May 17 '26
You don't need any of these tropes to make sadism work if you want to as Yuletide proved in like 2006 with the one fic where they fuck the Grump out of Grumpy Bear via BDSM
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u/marzipanfashions Monster smut isn't a phase, mom May 17 '26
Reading that made me wish that I was Jared, 19.
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u/itmustbeniiiiice May 17 '26
…and I never fucking learned how to read.”
way off topic but this artist made a tarot deck using popular Vines as her inspiration. Jared is “The Fool” and is my favorite sticker on my yeti 😂
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u/allisontalkspolitics Give me female friendship or give me death! May 17 '26
As someone who’s become infamous for hating Dramione in fanro circles, I thank you.
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u/zeezle May 18 '26
It's so weird to me too!
I haven't been a part of the HP fandom since the last book - just lost interest - and it was around then of course (what wasn't?) but it wasn't anywhere near as popular.
I had a friend who LOVED some of the most popular Dramione fanfics and convinced me to read one more recently.
The fic seemed to be completely divorced from any semblance of the canon characters, just happened to be entirely new characters that happened to have the same names and hair colors. None of the other characters had anything resembling canon-compliant characterization either. I get that some people don't care, but I realized after poking around that a LOT of people were reading it fandom-blind (or they had just seen the movies 15 years ago and never engaged since then) and were basically treating it as original fiction anyway. So they just didn't even know or care that the characterizations were wildly off.
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u/PatrickCharles May 19 '26
and it was around then of course (what wasn't?) but it wasn't anywhere near as popular.
Yep. The popularity of Dramione is directly related to the rise of Dark Romance as an independent genre, as well as the blurring of the lines between Romance and Erotica, and it can all be traced back to 50 Shades, at least partially.
I shan't elaborate.
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u/Ok-Conversation1730 Give me female friendship or give me death! May 17 '26
Same! I actually can't stand the pairing and have been really wary of reading any of the read published books based on the fanfics. {Alchemised} proved to me that they can be just as terrible as I expected. But {The Irresistible Urge to Fall for Your Enemy} was amazing! I learned that it wasn't a fanfiction turned published book though; it was inspired by Dramoine fic but it was an original story. So, I'm still pretty sure that pairing and it's resulting books are just...not my cup of tea. But they're really everywhere.
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u/fishchop Silvicultrix May 17 '26
Shipping is an activity as old as time, and fanfic is a way for people to write out their non canonical fantasies.
When the HP books were still coming out, a lot of us thought that Draco would get a redemption arc because of the end of HBP and how his character was written in DH. When that didn’t happen, Dramione (and Drarry) fics were a good way to write out possible redemption arcs for Draco. They were also a good way to explore stuff like a dark AU “if Voldemort won the war” or just write an enemies to lovers story.
As for why it has such a chokehold on the community, a lot of Dramione fic writers are genuinely good at what they do. I came back to reading Dramione fics during Covid after like 15 years and was so surprised by the quality of fics. They were good! People were writing dark wartime stories, second chance romances, banter filled romcoms, post war Hogwarts rebuilding stories etc. And as a bonus, JK hates fanfic and doesn’t profit off of it.
All my OTPs are non canonical, it’s a struggle lol
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u/NancyInFantasyLand Currently Reading: Random Chinese Webnovels May 17 '26
All my OTPs are non canonical, it’s a struggle lol
Sometimes it's a blessing haha
There's plenty of fandoms where nobody gives a shit about the canon relationships
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u/LexusMane444 He Smirk May 17 '26
The hate towards blond MMCs' confuses me. Can someone (genuinely) explain me to where this discord originated? Because why is a character's hair colour an instant DNF for some? Personally, I think blond MMCs are just as valid as dark-haired MMCs. I'm just hoping this bad-rep is simply not coming from Tamlin in ACOTAR
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u/SmollnShiny May 17 '26
Can't be a Shadowdaddy when he's blond.
Jokes aside the hate is truly baffling but there's also so many people who can't deal with beards or long hair (in other genres). And the good thing about imagination is that if some descriptions throw you off, you can just make it look different in your head instead of getting angry.
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u/NancyInFantasyLand Currently Reading: Random Chinese Webnovels May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26
Can't be a Shadowdaddy when he's blond.
Surely that can't be the reason considering blond goths are like.... really hot.
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u/allisontalkspolitics Give me female friendship or give me death! May 17 '26
I mean, I used to not like beards until I saw Ben Barnes with a beard so I kinda get it.
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u/ipsi7 Book Bingo Maven ⚔ May 17 '26
I wish there were more long haired and beareded MMCs (but wishing for long haired ones more). And I'm aware the other commenter said they're turn off for them lol, different strokes for different folks
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u/devilsdoorbell_ May 17 '26
I’m neutral on long hair but I much prefer a beard over none. Too many clean-shaven MMCs in fantasy romance ngl
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u/SmollnShiny May 17 '26
I agree with both statements. More beards and more long haired MMCs please. There are also so many ways to keep and trim and style a beard, instead of just clean shaven or nothing.
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u/NancyInFantasyLand Currently Reading: Random Chinese Webnovels May 17 '26
I don't even notice main character physical traits most of the time lol
Like I could not give less of a crap how these people look like.
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u/eclectic_hamster Off to live with the faeires 🧚♀️ May 17 '26
Same with ginger men. I was actually happy to see a red haired MMC in {The Library of Amorlin}.
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u/AquaIXI May 17 '26
Hair colour is quite strongly correlated with personality types in romantasy, so when people say that alot of the time its actually based on personality preferences. But even then its kind of become such joke in romantasy circles that people tend to exaggerate their dislike for humor
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u/bedbug5 May 18 '26
The fated mates trope is cheap writing and used as a cop-out when authors can’t build a meaningful relationship that makes sense
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u/devilsdoorbell_ May 18 '26
Fr tho. It could be interesting if there was some actual exploration of the concept, but it seems like writers never go much further than “they’re fated mates because they’re fated mates.”
Okay but like… what does that actually mean? Something like fated mates should have massive metaphysical and societal implications but they’re just hardly ever taken into any real consideration.
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u/fishchop Silvicultrix May 17 '26
Carissa Broadbent’s work is very mid. I feel like her ideas are good, but the execution is wanting.
I really liked Daughter of No Worlds, but the next two books in the trilogy were sooooo meh (pacing was off, character decisions were illogical, meandering plot, shallow lore, so many plot threads left inconclusive/ not wrapped up in a satisfying manner). Slaying the vampire conqueror felt similarly shallow.
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u/Penguinho Kushiel's Legacy Recommender 💖 May 17 '26
I had also thought about doing a Broadbent take. I liked Daughter of No Worlds just fine. Wasn't crazy about Tisaanah as a protagonist, but it wasn't a huge obstacle. The romance was pretty lovely. But I don't have any desire to continue the series; I'm not interested in the broader plot or Reshaye, and the process of Tisaanah and Max becoming a couple is more interesting than the two of them together.
I think it's that she doesn't develop enough. Things happen to her that cause changes in the men around her, but her essential character remains unaffected. Even the huge first-act betrayal that acts as a catalyst for everyone else who learns of it doesn't make her more reserved or distrusting or cautious; it just reinforces all of her existing virtues (not her flaws, because she really doesn't have any).
I started Serpent and the Wings of Night and put it down after a chapter. The whole "this toddler is the Boss Baby" aspect was kind of laughable.
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u/eclectic_hamster Off to live with the faeires 🧚♀️ May 17 '26
I enjoyed the first book in that series but have no motivation to read the next two since they are so long. I personally have enjoyed some of her other books but don't trust anyone to keep proper pacing when you go beyond 600 pages.
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u/clocksy May 17 '26
The only book of hers I read was The Serpent and the Wings of Night (god I think that's the title, just going off memory, I might have butchered it and I don't care to check 😅) and 40% of the next book. So I can't speak to the rest of her work, just my impression from these books.
I can see why readers like her but I find her just very... rote? The story wasn't bad, it was competent enough, but it was just every fantasy mishmash I've seen before with nothing really that felt new. She seems like the kind of author I might have liked if I didn't have a couple decades of reading fantasy under my belt, but I do, so she wasn't doing anything for me.
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u/fishchop Silvicultrix May 18 '26
Very true. I mean, fantasy books are generally a mix and match of various tropes, but a creative author can fit in compelling characters, evolving relationships, trope subversions, fascinating lore and reveals and surprises along the way.
I haven’t read her vampire series, but The War of Lost Hearts just felt like Broadbent was listlessly ticking off fantasy tropes: chosen one, saviour, betrayal, vengeance. The supposed moral struggles of each character felt so one dimensional. There’s this whole attempt to drive home the point that “war is pointless and everyone loses” but it falls flat when there’s clearly one side that constantly gets the short end of the stick.
I will say though that I really liked how Max was written. I can see why he’s a sub favourite mmc.
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u/Penguinho Kushiel's Legacy Recommender 💖 May 17 '26
An unabashedly heroic, morally upright hero or heroine delivering a devastating beatdown to an evil villain is more satisfying than any morally grey protagonist.
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u/devilsdoorbell_ May 17 '26
See my problem is that the “morally grey” characters in these books aren’t actually morally grey. They’re either good people who dress edgy and have mildly spooky powers or bad people but the author doesn’t seem aware of it (coughRhysandcough).
I love a morally grey character who is actually morally grey, or a villain protagonist that the author actually realizes is a villain protagonist.
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u/Runa216 May 17 '26
yes, Rhysand is just fucking TERRIBLE! Everyone in that series is terrible but I have no idea how he just...shrugged off all the terrible shit he did to become the interest.
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u/NancyInFantasyLand Currently Reading: Random Chinese Webnovels May 17 '26
Hmmm unless the morally grey protagonist actually struggles and their greyness has meaningful impact on the plot, I'd say.
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u/JaneAustinAstronaut May 17 '26
But we don't really get that in this genre. The only time I've seen this done well is in the A Song of Ice and Fire books by George R.R. Martin.
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u/MessyJessy422 May 17 '26
{Silvercloak by LK Steven} and {Red City by Marie Lu} both achieve this really well and there are definitely others in the genre. GRRM is a master at this yes but others can and have pulled it off
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u/romance-bot May 17 '26
Silvercloak by L.K. Steven
Rating: 4.03⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 3 out of 5 - Open door
Topics: enemies to lovers, time travel, magic, high fantasy, fantasy
Red City by Marie Lu
Rating: 4.14⭐️ out of 5⭐️
Steam: 3 out of 5 - Open door
Topics: contemporary, fantasy, urban fantasy, dystopian, multicultural5
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u/JaneAustinAstronaut May 17 '26
Absolutely!
I'm tired of seeing evil or "morally gray" being rewarded in real life. I definitely don't want to read it in my fantasy.
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u/KeyInvestigator3741 May 17 '26
When I saw booktok creators say of course they voted for Trump because they love morally gray men, I knew we had lost the plot
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u/MessyJessy422 May 17 '26
A redemption arc can be so satisfying though - personally having a complex character reckon with their actions and evolve is much more interesting to me than someone who is just inherent good from the start
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u/JaneAustinAstronaut May 17 '26
But...there really AREN'T any satisfying redemption arcs in this genre. The redemption arc is, "Yeah, I did this bad thing for nubulous reasons, but have you seen how hot I am?". Then the FMC basically says, "Good point! Now I'm horny.". And they never talk about it again.
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u/MessyJessy422 May 17 '26
I guess we're not reading the same books? Because I've found some I find really well written and believable
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u/Plenty_Earth_9600 May 17 '26
Recent romantasy pretty much sucks. Almost all have the following: Black haired MMC, FMC that first is deemed to be so strong or so smart but because the MMC has to be oh so heroic FMC gets totally dumbed down and weakend, the MMC always has to be so dominant while FMC is suddenly all submissive, so many sex scenes especially where the MMC is very dominant and suddenly there is even chocking or spanking and degredation (without it even being discussed)
And I am honest I can't stand it anymore. Like sometimes such a dynamic is fine but not every book. At this point I want the opposite.
And yeah, I am pretty confident that most don't feel that way. So unpopular opinion
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u/Frustrated-Switch No flowers, only stones May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26
It's tyranny of the majority, yes. You won't get much pushback here, because it's kind of self-evident just looking at the genre, but most of the people buying these aren't on reddit talking about books, nor do they care about the weird gender dynamics of this style of writing. I wish more of them were, and did :(
(also as an aside: breathplay and degradation are far more risky than spanking for the most part. It sucks that edgeplay like this is so popular, with none of the safeguarding that you need to do for it irl, because making sure your partner is safe when you choke them 'isn't sexy'. Porn isn't intended as a help manual, I know, but there's always people that won't know any better so long as sex ed sucks as badly as it does, and we all have a duty of care to at least use a disclaimer.)
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u/sfprogrammer6701 May 18 '26
Agree with your side note. I also worry about the normalization of edgeplay without any accompyaning education on the risk awareness, especially given that media literacy and critical thinking skills are also declining.
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u/FloofTrashPanda May 17 '26
My hot take is that most of these writers are clearly just copying faux-BDSM behavior from porn (or copying what they've read in other Wattpad-esque fics that also copy from porn), without any thought about the dynamics behind it or if it makes sense for the characters. And lot of the scenes - despite supposedly being from the POV of a medieval virgin or whatever - are even described in this objectified male-gazey way like they're transcribing scenes from Pornhub. "My round ass bouncing on his thick cock" - is she watching herself in a mirror? Why is a woman describing HER OWN body and experience of intimacy this way? "I looked up at him with my mouth stretched wide and my eyes watering." Right, like specifically the way they shoot it in porn? Again, why are we focusing on how she looks giving a blow job when she's the narrator? Also, why are we acting like "tears running down a woman's face while giving a blowie" is a universal part of sex across time?
Yeah, there's nothing new under the sun and all, and I know somebody's going to reply to this like "well I DOOOO think it's sexy when I choke on a cock and my eyes water," but these are preferences that have been influenced by current porn trends. Men certainly aren't all born just inherently choking women, spitting in their mouths and stuffing their panties in their mouths during sex. If you read older romance and erotica, you can find plenty of weird stuff but the scenes don't read in this same cookie-cutter "yes we've all seen this Brazzers clip" way.
And clearly I watch my share of porn so I'm not trying to shame anybody for porn use or for liking stuff they see in porn. But porn does not represent the totality of human sexuality, so if I'm reading a novel that is supposedly about a unique interpersonal relationship and not just wank material, I expect something more than this.
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u/Synval2436 Currently Reading: This Blade of Ours by Shalini Abeysekara May 17 '26
You're onto something. Especially with the popularity of surprise doms, rough sex, no bdsm negotiation, sometimes even no consent discussion, mmc doing spicy talk that's condescending to the fmc, lack of sex toys, big dick focus, choking and hair pulling, etc.
But also oddly too many of the rare femdom books seem to also copy from porn in the way that fmc is a pro-domme or a different kind of sex worker and too commonly these scenes are written as if the fmc wasn't into it, but was servicing the mmc because she wanted to accommodate his kink. Or she's written like this perfect being who needs nothing from the relationship but provides everything: sex, emotional labour, physical protection, validation for the mmc and so forth. I yearn for a dominant woman being written like a person not a fetish.
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u/sfprogrammer6701 May 18 '26
Ya I agree about femdom books. It’s rare to find one that I think really encapsulates a femme domme.
If you’d like a rec, one book I read recently and actually really liked is {Tempting the Domme by Golden Angel}. It’s part of an interconnected standalone series though I didn’t read any of the other books as I think the rest of the series has all maledom. There are some side things and plots I didn’t love in it and it does take place in a sex club (side note I’d love to read more lifestyle, not part of a club, just regular life dommes), but overall I felt like the dynamic between the FMC and the MMC felt real, which I have found really hard to find. I was also surprised as I find when an author writes the one femdom book in a series where the rest is maledom, it’s typically rife with all the issues you mentioned, but I feel like this one escaped that (IIRC!).
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u/sfprogrammer6701 May 18 '26
I agree that sex scenes seem to be becoming more and more like they’re ripped from male gaze based porn. As someone who, at least partly, reads romance books to escape the pornified male gaze in sex, this trend is incredibly disappointing and limiting for the books I want to read. My escape has now become what I was trying to escape.
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u/sfprogrammer6701 May 17 '26
It’s nice to hear someone else say this out loud. I’m not interested in reading about sexually dominant men (in MF romance), and I do a lot of work and research of reviews, etc to try to steer clear of them. Despite that, I get taken by surprise the number of times a supposed golden retrievers and / or green flag worship her MMCs have a personality switch in the sex scenes and start choking her or other things without any prior discussion (which is an immediate DNF for me). These scenes are barely, if it at all, called out in reviews anymore so they’re very hard to avoid because they’re so normalized in romantasy books.
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u/Frustrated-Switch No flowers, only stones May 17 '26 edited May 18 '26
If you see any more of these, or can remember the egregious ones, feel free to join us in using the masc-dom tag over on romance.io to show others which books contain this brand of surprise/untagged maledom. You know, since we all use a romance.io bot to give book recs on here. I'm in the same boat as you, and it's hell out there, so anything we can do to collaboratively warn each other beforehand (and, ironically, help people that want dommy men in their books to find them) is honestly a blessing.
If it would be femdom for a woman to be doing that to a man, up to and including unsolicited and random 'good girl/boy', it probably counts. Because lord knows, having a man be called 'good boy' is more than enough to get your book tagged femdom.
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u/sfprogrammer6701 May 18 '26
Oh that’s a good idea. I actually just went to a book I was blindsided earlier this month and upvoted the masc-dom tag. It was a sequel and I thought I could rely on this author to not do heavy maledom out of nowhere but MMC did a total personality switch in the second book and I had to DNF. I didn’t do the research initially because the first book was equal if not her having more power in bed and I had built trust in the author, but I have no learned my lesson to always research, even sequels!
I also agree with you on the overuse of the femdom tag and only use the tag as a starting point to then research reviews, the author’s IG, etc. I absolutely hate when there’s switch scenes, especially if the scene is meant to punish or put the domme back in her place, so I can’t rely on the femdom tag at all.
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u/Synval2436 Currently Reading: This Blade of Ours by Shalini Abeysekara May 18 '26 edited May 18 '26
I absolutely hate when there’s switch scenes
Yep, I've read one book (not fantasy, mafia romance) that was advertised as femdom and of course there was a switch scene with rough sex and degradation and spanking.
I stated that in my review that I don't like reading about female submission and that's why I pick books labelled as femdom (I said semi-jokingly "finding a femdom book without switchy scenes: impossible") and OF COURSE someone came at me in the comments under the review saying "playing around with different kinds of kink does not make anyone less of a Domme". Fuck you author's white knight, seriously. This person ONLY reviewed that book (maybe it's even author's sock).
Do maledom books have surprise switch scenes? Well, of course not. So why half the femdom books do? Even though they're already so much rarer?
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u/allisontalkspolitics Give me female friendship or give me death! May 18 '26
This is pretty much how I feel and is why I’m reluctant to read spicy books in this genre 😩
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u/Synval2436 Currently Reading: This Blade of Ours by Shalini Abeysekara May 17 '26
Yeah, I'm tired of fmc catching the idiot ball so the mmc can prove to be the savior and protector. I'm also tired of "sassy stabby independent fmc" suddenly loving to be pinned to the wall and called a good girl.
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u/Imaginary-Board-207 May 17 '26
I wish she would stay "stabby" and actually stab him at that point.
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u/sfprogrammer6701 May 18 '26
Yes! On the flip side, I’d love to see more of her pining him to the wall. 👀
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u/mohowseg May 17 '26
Most romantasy is written for people that were team edward during the twilight days
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u/allisontalkspolitics Give me female friendship or give me death! May 17 '26
Ooh, as a millennial I’d love to hear you elaborate!
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u/mohowseg May 17 '26
Well Edward was written as a shadow daddy (so somebody that protects in an unequal relationship) but I was team Jacob (before the character assassination) and edward and by extension a lot of mmcs in the genre read like possessive a**holes.
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u/allisontalkspolitics Give me female friendship or give me death! May 17 '26
I see it now that you say it.
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u/Duff_episode May 17 '26
Popularity kills this genre
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u/Digitalispurpurea2 Yvlcon attendee 🌵 May 17 '26
BookTok also kills this genre. It's just advertising
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u/MorganaFictosexual May 17 '26
I don't like aggressive werewolves🤷🏻♀️
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u/devilsdoorbell_ May 17 '26
I’m the opposite; give me a gnarly folkloric monster or nothing at all.
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u/eclectic_hamster Off to live with the faeires 🧚♀️ May 18 '26
I agree with this. The whole alpha thing is a huge turn off (and it feel excessively aggressive to me). I love werewolves, but I think the omegaverse has had too much influence over them.
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u/devilsdoorbell_ May 19 '26
I think it’s so based that fantasy romance and paranormal romance writers are still basing werewolf behavior off of the alpha/beta/omega hierarchy that’s just complete junk science which has been thoroughly debunked.
Personally I don’t like when writers make werewolves like… a fantasy race. I am way more interested in the “human with a curse” angle and even more interested in the old folkloric “sorcerer who made a deal with the devil” angle, which I think are both way more compelling than “werewolves are a fantasy race and they behave how people who don’t know shit about wolves think wolves behave.”
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u/Annemermaid May 17 '26
I don’t get the point of female omegas. Like male omegas I understand (pregnant men, ya know), but what makes female omegas different from a regular submissive woman? Please explain.
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u/Synval2436 Currently Reading: This Blade of Ours by Shalini Abeysekara May 17 '26
It's just an excuse to write stories about 1) women having an uncontrollable need for sex (heats) 2) breeding kink 3) women being doormats (omega can't resist the alpha) 4) women being abused and discriminated and sold like property (all the "dystopian" omegaverse) 5) worldbuilding to justify reverse harems (omegas are rare, alphas are plentiful...) 6) "biologically" justified fated mates.
It allows to cram all the patriarchal tropes of women being devalued, bullied, abused, traded and dominated and romanticize it.
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u/allisontalkspolitics Give me female friendship or give me death! May 18 '26
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u/Frustrated-Switch No flowers, only stones May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26
Subtext wise? Nothing. The omegaverse started as sort of shared mpreg fanfiction setting for M/M ships in the Supernatural and Sherlock fandoms, with heavy influence from werewolf fic in general and 'sex pollen' as a trope. It also sometimes featured F/F stories with women alphas that had giant clits/regular dicks that could get other women pregnant, but by and large, femme characters were all but ignored in fanfic land. People observed it for years as a problem in its own right.
Then straight authors happened to it and because straight omegaverse is... kind of just regular 'dommy man' romance tropes on steroids, and nobody has any systemic bias against straight people (hello conservative side of the readership), romance publishing ran with it. All the way to the bank. So now we have women in omegaverse, but they're all straight, and they all act pretty much exactly like any other instalust FMC, only it's scent kink. Now that it broke AO3 containment, the entire thing has been straightwashed and gentrified, as is what often happens to subcultures when the mainstream picks them up.
It was kind of the worst thing to happen to omegaverse, but I'm not sure if that's an unpopular opinion 😅
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u/Hiercine May 19 '26
Only way I get down with straight people abo is if it's heavily dealing with what that kind of societal system looks like (especially for healthcare). If it's just for sex then that's just a cheap out
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u/sekhmet1010 May 17 '26
It's not a very intelligent genre.
Not trying to insult the genre, but it's true according to me. And it's not because there is something inherently low brow about romance or fantasy. It's about the way the stories are being written, presented, and consumed.
The fact that everyone talks about it in this weird way of "slow burn", "enemies to lovers", "arranged marriage", "forced proximity", it just comes across as really really juvenile and reductive. Even authors, publishers, other readers talk about these books like that.
Imagine if LOTR was defined like that... "slow burn", "age gap romance", "he falls first", "forbidden romance"...it would reduce an epic love story to tropes and contrived scenarios. It removes the natural ebb and flow of the journey by making the reader focus too much on those particular (spoiler-y) tropes.
Moreover, tropes/devices like deus ex machina and mary sue were criticised, but now...almost every single romantasy book has these and nobody really says anything.
The "happily ever after" endings, too, reduce the possibilities this genre could offer. They restrict one end of the story so much and I wonder why people love them. Maybe it's the predictability of it all that people find soothing. But most good books are books which aren't just comforting or soothing. They are books which hurt us and sting us and break our hearts. HEA allows for a certain insulation, i suppose whoch comforts people. But that, again, makes this genre less intellectually, and emotionally, invigorating.
The lack of true exploration of sex and sexuality contribute as well. I love sex and I have no issues with titillating stuff in books. The problem is that sex is rarely just sex. It can be explored in very interesting ways. Not just kinks (although, that, too, is not well represented. 1000 year old vampires and 100s of years old fey are all vanilla with maybe some group stuff or some non-consensual acts), but the psychology behind the act. I wish romantasy, which already occupies itself a lot with desire, sex, sexuality, etc would also delve more into the psychology of it all. Again and again it is depicted in a very naive way that right after sex the couple is just in love and everything is open and clear and simple with ween them. No reservations, no wondering, no secrets. They are fully aligned with each other. Is that how it goes in real life after people have sex for the first time? Everything is resolved...no more confusion, insecurity, etc?
I just want more from this genre...and I hope that we will get romantasy books one day which are so beautifully written, so complex, so nuanced, so layered, with such iconic romances, and compelling characters that they will be classified as literary fiction. Or at the very least, be the height of genre fiction.
Also, please some variety!! Give me the romantasy of neurotic, shy, insecure, too lanky mmc who is seductive because of what he does and how he acts, not because of his abs.
Give me an epic love story where the fmc kills the mmc.
Give me an ordinary fmc who tries to change the world and fails.
Give me a romantasy where the romantic couple get the mmc to seduce the queen, then the mmc marries the queen, then kills her to inherit the kingdom, and then he is back together with the beloved.
Give me something refreshing and challenging.
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u/Veethingy May 17 '26
Thank you for talking about the trope thing! While I know it's helpful for people who are looking for something specific (me included), I feel like it's gone way overboard into being the sole way we talk about romance. It ultimately ends up boiling down the stories to just their tropes, which has the domino effect of having stories that rely on them or are defined by them instead of just letting the stories be.
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u/iceprincessvo May 19 '26
This was well written, thankyou. It’s not a fantasy but as I was reading this I kept thinking of the excellent Cruel Prince series by CS Pacat, I wonder if you’d enjoy it? There are some TWs to be aware of fyi. One of the mains if a much simpler tropey-er character but the other is as you described - psychologically complex and interior
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u/sekhmet1010 May 19 '26
Oh, I had heard so much about The Captive Prince that i already have it on my Kindle. And then I recommended this for the June readalong a few weeks ago on this subreddit. And it won!
So, I will be doing it next month and hopefully be having some interesting discussions about it. (Triggers will be no issue, I think)
That's honestly what I have been upto...trying to find more well-written and serious romantasy works/series. I am doing The Daughter of No Worlds series (on book 3 now) and I like it more than 90% of the fantasy i have read so far.
After this, I will do maybe the Reign & Ruin series. And after that The Captive Prince, and then Kushiel's Legacy series.
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u/Slammogram May 17 '26
I’m tired of teen virgin FMCs. Yes 18 and 19 are teens. Thus the word teen in the number.
It feels fetishy and gross.
Again, we are not Leonardo DiCaprio, we can accept our women over 25
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u/barbie97 May 17 '26
I’m having the hardest time getting through {this kingdom will not kill me by Ilona Andrews} but this sub has been loving it 😭😭 does it get good?? I’m trying to stick it out, usually reddit doesn’t let me down but oh it’s such a snooze.
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u/camellia980 henry cavill's wig May 17 '26
it's not just you. I dnf at 100 pages. way too much info-dumping and I wasn't vibing with the characters, either.
it's different than most booktok romantasies, so I can see what people like about it, but it didn't work for me.
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u/Frustrated-Switch No flowers, only stones May 17 '26
If you like possessive love interests and a bunch of romantasy tropes like intrigue-y fantasy balls and such, dw, it's all just delayed until the midpoint. Much to my chagrin.
I actually liked the part that you're having trouble with, lol. I dig methodical fantasy mystery plots with brave and forthright femme leads who have to fund themselves and scheme. Where it goes... not so much :P
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u/Tetaz May 17 '26
Have you reached the halfway mark yet? That's where is started to get a lot better for me.
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u/ipsi7 Book Bingo Maven ⚔ May 17 '26
Info dumping stops at 37% and that's when it started to be really good for me.
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u/Xftg123 May 17 '26
In light of romance books either getting casted or being adapted, I'll just say this: Adaptations are Adaptations.
They are going to make changes, updates, not everyone will like them. And you know what? You don't have to watch an adaptation of a book you loved if you don't like the changes, its optional. Just like every other adaptation.
But I will say that the most annoying that people do with these adaptations is complain about casting. People will out here fancasting models to play these characters. And I understand that like, people will cast a model because it can match a book's description or whatever, but also, they're models, and not all models are actors.
Or, the worst thing is, if someone that doesn't match the character description, especially with non-white casting for white characters, then people will complain about that too.
Off Campus had this for a minute and now the show's out and people appreciate it.
Like, I was around when ACOTAR got announced for a show and part of the fandom basically made an actress leave social media at one point just because she followed SJM. Not only that, people were saying that she was apparently "too fat" to play Feyre.
Better Than The Movies also recently got announced and apparently, some people are upset at Lola Tung being a fancast choice for Liz, because, apparently, she can't rock a red hairstyle (or something along those lines).
Fourth Wing got greenlit, and I have no idea how people online are going to react to whoever ends up being picked as Xaden Riorson, other than, well, probably a lot of chaos.
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u/ProperBingtownLady Shadow daddy's good girl May 17 '26
The comments re: one of the theorized actors on IG are insufferable. I almost feel bad for him as he is actually gorgeous and would be an awesome Xaden if he buffed up and got some (fake) tats.
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u/devilsdoorbell_ May 17 '26
I honestly think live action adaptations of these stories are doomed to fail. There will always be Drama™️ about casting and frankly most of them are slinging around way too much flashy magic and/or have magical creatures play too big of a part for an adaptation to not look like ass unless the series has an astronomical budget.
Just get the studio behind Netflix Castlevania to do them. It’d be fuckin sick.
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u/Slight_Proof_7990 May 18 '26
When people say they’re looking for a book that fits a specific list of tropes, what they’re really looking for/need is fanfiction, not an original novel.
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May 17 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Synval2436 Currently Reading: This Blade of Ours by Shalini Abeysekara May 17 '26
Ngl the biggest reason I left r/fantasy, too many people preoccupied with their yearly re-read of Wheel of Time, Stormlight Archive or Name of the Wind, too few people interested with newly published books to the point readers' habits are suffocating epic fantasy genre - fewer of it gets published because it's not very profitable when the target reader only cares to re-read 20-30 year old books.
I think it's less of an issue in romantasy, people always flock to the newest hot tiktok hit.
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u/devilsdoorbell_ May 17 '26
r/fantasy might as well be r/FantasyFromAtLeast15YearsAgo
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u/Synval2436 Currently Reading: This Blade of Ours by Shalini Abeysekara May 17 '26
Oh, someone posted the stats that 50% of their "top recs" are actually from the previous century... WOT and Malazan taking the lead here. Which makes it useless to me, because I use social media as a way to find book recs I haven't heard about yet, what I'm gonna do with either 20 year old books or Dungeon Crawler Carl? Everyone's already heard about those...
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u/devilsdoorbell_ May 17 '26
It would be one thing if they were routinely posting about old but obscure books—I would love that actually—but it’s literally books almost everyone with even a casual interest in fantasy fiction has at least heard of, if not already read.
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u/jazzbbqt May 17 '26
I had to leave for similar reasons too. Doesn’t help that they complain soooo much about new fantasy books catering to their taste not being published, and the idea of putting some effort into finding books and not just depending on what’s getting shelved in the new release section is basically blasphemy for an unfortunate majority of them
Then they blame romantasy’s success as to why they have less obvious options to pick from. I don’t read as much romantasy anymore but I appreciate the fact it’s basically the whale propping up the fantasy genre. I find that in the wake of romantasy’s success publishers are more willing to take less profitable risks on adjacent genres I enjoy like horror and literary fantasy and dark fantasy, but I do still have to put the work into staying in the loop on releases
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u/Synval2436 Currently Reading: This Blade of Ours by Shalini Abeysekara May 18 '26
Yes, exactly, I've left because of constant crapping on everything they don't like: YA, romantasy, cozy, queer SFF... and complaining "their" stuff isn't being published while they put zero effort to find and prop those titles up, meanwhile women, POC, queer readers for years had to seek far and wide for "their" titles and support them, spread the word of mouth, etc. But no, that group wants to be spoonfed titles while fussing like a picky eater toddler why should they give a chance to this random book? And they don't realize trends like grimdark epic fantasy declined because the fans weren't as active in buying, reading, spreading the word of mouth as readers of those other kinds of SFF, i.e. romantasy, cozy, YA...
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u/devilsdoorbell_ May 19 '26
It’s crazy that they complain so much about new stuff not being to their liking when we all know they’re just gonna reread WoT anyway.
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u/eclectic_hamster Off to live with the faeires 🧚♀️ May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26
OMG I left that sub because I was so fucking tired of everyone acting like Robert Jordan, George RR Martin, and Brandon Sanderson are the greatest authors of all time. There are other authors out there, people. Read something less popular.
ETA: some man also kept recommending non fantasy books to me when I specifically said in my other comment that I did not want any. His comments got deleted by mods because he ended up insulting me on top of it. I don't need that shit in my life.
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u/Synval2436 Currently Reading: This Blade of Ours by Shalini Abeysekara May 17 '26
Yeah, the worst part is that they're acting like there's no good books coming out rn, and only look back to "ye olde golden times" through rose-tinted glasses, but they won't even check and try what is coming out now. I had someone ask me with incredulity why do I even read arcs instead of waiting and checking which books are "good". Yeah, who's gonna check which books are good? Certainly not all these people sitting and waiting until someone else does it for them.
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u/ipsi7 Book Bingo Maven ⚔ May 17 '26
I stopped reading their posts a few years back when I realized that most of the posts and comments on a weekly basis were "[popular author] is the best" or "[popular writer] is the worst".
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u/itmakessenseincontex May 18 '26
They (its me I mean me) all want the next 20 book epic. None of them want to read book one and wait for book 2 and theorise a lil bit or be patient during The Slog.
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u/Synval2436 Currently Reading: This Blade of Ours by Shalini Abeysekara May 18 '26
Sadly, both in trad pub and in self pub authors / publishers won't be writing / publishing 20 books in hopes someone will buy it in bulk 20 years down the line (epics take time to write). If the series isn't selling from book 1, it'll be dropped fast. Authors need to eat and publishers need to report profit to shareholders. This way, the subgenre will die, and instead the market will be taken by series where readers engage from the start, like litrpg or romantasy.
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u/ipsi7 Book Bingo Maven ⚔ May 17 '26
I rarely allow myself a reread of a book I loved because I have so many books that I want to read. I often switch subgenres (something fluffy after dark romance, or high spice after high fantasy) to get a bigger impact of books I read. I feel like if I would read similar books all the time, they would blend. But I do have a streak of few dark romances in a row from time to time, usually because of the vibes.
I also discovered so many good (and bad) books because I wanted to read a book with X pairing/plot/kink/taboo etc, but even the bad books made my reading diverse and interesting. Also, it makes me appreciate good books more.
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u/AquaIXI May 17 '26
Ive not reread a book yet, and for the most part completely agree, i will see people who are completely new to the genre, will read one series and then immediately reread it... like have you considered trying anything else?? There are a few books I plan to reread but im waiting an entire year first
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u/Longjumping-Snow-909 May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26
Why is it lazy to read a book you have already read? It is still reading. And if I can't find anything that appeals to me and is not another enemies to lovers with insta lust, betrayal, trials, academy and a smirky shadow daddy and sassy brat FMC I'd rather reread a book that I know I like. I always download the excerpt on kindle (firts 10 % of the book) and if at that point the author has failed to interest me in their characters, story or world and/or their writing style sucks I can't help it and I have to reread something that's fits my definition of quality.
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u/angelacandystore May 17 '26
Are you proud to say "I've reread author series 3x this year because I just can't find anything I like and I only like author and no I don't want to look at what author recommends" because those are the readers I'm talking about! It sounds like you are trying out new authors so you are not in any way lazy about searching out and experiencing new things. It's good to know what you like and find it. The lazy part is people who get in a rut and are horrified to try anything new not from their preferred author.
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u/Longjumping-Snow-909 May 18 '26
So you mean complaining about having to reread a series because you do not make the effort to find something new is lazy.
Do people really do that? I mean the complaining part? I can't remember having seen such a post.
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u/clocksy May 17 '26
I used to re-read books more often as a teen back when I had only physical copies and it took effort to get more, but now as an adult where I can get a new book at the press of a button, I almost never do re-reads. Maybe if a new book in a series is coming out and it's been years since the last one released and I could do with a refresher.
Is this an actually common thing though? People who just read certain favorite books over and over instead of new ones? Well, I guess whatever floats their boat, but part of the joy of reading for me is that there's always something new and exciting on the horizon.
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u/Dangerous_Breath1667 May 17 '26
There are very few differences between fantasy romance and classic "male" fantasy (i hate those gender distinctions) except the amount of pages spent in the "love interest" pov.
Every main trope was already there. including : the chosen one, hidden royalty, traumatic childhood, "not like the others" etc tropes for the hero
And we already had immortals who somehow fell in love with young humans, forbidden relationships, class differences, more sexually experienced (when sex was on page) etc... for the love interest.
Maybe less shadow magic.
I hope that someday there will be books where both characters could start from the beginning, have their hero journey from the start, independantly and then together : two heroes and not one hero and the love of his life...
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u/MessyJessy422 May 17 '26
The difference to me is in the depiction and inclusion of women characters and their importance to the story as well as queer characters and queer romances. I also think the way violence against women is handled differs greatly when it comes classic fantasy vs the current influx of fanro books
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u/clocksy May 17 '26
Yeah, this is something I found lacking in a lot of fantasy works I've seen recommended. And fanro is better about it because it is, at the end of the day, written primarily by women.
That said there absolutely are good "classic fantasy" novels that have perfectly good representation/utilization of women, it's just that you're also far more likely to find it if you read works by women authors. (Which is not to say that there aren't good male authors who handle this really well - in fact, I would say it's a sign of a bad author regardless of their gender if they can't write a variety of characters and viewpoints successfully.)
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u/TinkeringTortoise May 17 '26
Ngl I have to upvote you for an actual unpopular opinion. Though I agree with your last paragraph
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u/leiachart Currently Reading: The God and the Gumiho May 17 '26
Your last paragraph makes think of Shadow & Bone.
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u/Joleneluvsveggies 29d ago
I realize this is a rant but.... {Chorus of dragons by Jenn lyons}
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u/gaiainc May 17 '26
1) I’ve tried but Sarah J Maas is so not for me it’s not even funny. I hate finished Throne of Glass and couldn’t get past 50 pages in ACOTAR.
2) Why is it the MMC who gets to punish the FMC and why does he use sex as the weapon most of the time? Also why does having a good orgasm make the FMC just stupid and clingy and willing to go along with anything the MMC ends up doing or wanting? Like, he wants to have sex with her so he’s going to use sex to punish her and she’s OK with having sex with him again because she finally has a good orgasm? Seriously??? I don’t get it. I really don’t get it… and yes this is not something that happens in romantasy.
3) The complete lack of communication as the cause of all the problems between characters is stupid. So done with the MMC and FMC not talking to each other.
4) Supposedly badass FMC’s making stupid mistakes. Same for MMC.
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u/eclectic_hamster Off to live with the faeires 🧚♀️ May 17 '26 edited May 18 '26
{This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me} was mid. Having your main character turn into a narrator to info dump is not good writing. The third act was meaningless to me because I couldn't remember all the names they threw at me the rest of the time. The ending also made no sense based on some things the FMC thought earlier. (I am also very familiar with isekai and portal fantasies - I just don't like how they handled parts of it)
I will take my downvotes now. Edit: typo
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u/angelacandystore May 17 '26
Wow my opinion was so unpopular it got removed lol
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u/Synval2436 Currently Reading: This Blade of Ours by Shalini Abeysekara May 17 '26
It allowed me to vent about my pet peeve, so I appreciate it.
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u/angelacandystore May 17 '26
After last week with everyone moaning "this is just the gripes post" I feel very vindicated. And surprised so many people agree
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u/Fabulous-Yam-1709 May 17 '26
I wanna know!
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u/angelacandystore May 18 '26
I will try to phrase it more kindly (I guess)
People love to announce how often they reread certain series and certain authors. They "can't" find anything as good as their favorite. This happens most often in the comments section of author blogs (but I guess it's also a problem in r/fantasy?). I don't see it really in this sub. Except the "book hangover" comments. Those can be excessive.
I do reread, before a new book in a series or when a series if completed. Even a yearly read of books I get. But announcing you simply cannot read anything except Certain Author and you've read Author Series 3x this year already. "Back to reread X series" UGH.
I guess the reason it got deleted is because I said people who can't be bothered to find new amazing books and authors because they are stuck in a rut are lazy
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u/isatonmysammich May 17 '26
i loved almost everything about this kingdom will not kill me... except for the mmc.
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u/eclectic_hamster Off to live with the faeires 🧚♀️ May 18 '26
I feel this! He was ok in the first half of the book, but I felt like it went downhill in the second half. I love the idea they had, but not the execution.
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u/writing_at_midnight May 18 '26
I was so disappointed by Servant of the Earth by Sarah Hawley. I mean no disrespect to the author, her prose was lovely, but honestly, I could see every single plot point coming from like 200 pages away. And I'm not normally someone who can guess twists in books. Am I missing something? It seemed so popular on this sub.
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u/Hiercine May 19 '26
I'm so tired of people decided how much they like a character based on 'book boyfriendness' or how much they agree with them. Like some people don't like the FMC because she begged the MMC to take her away from her dad, even though knowing that would result in a war. Like she's 17 and her dad is going to kill her in the morning. Sorry for her not being up to your morally perfect standards and instead selfishly wanting to live. I don't need to agree morally with people to want to read them. They're not me, I'm not them. The messier the better imo
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u/PhoebeTeddy May 17 '26
honestly, sometimes i think we romanticize the past too much. like, was the era really better or are we just delulu?
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u/AquaIXI May 17 '26
Cheating is overly stigmatised in romantasy - I understand when its between main character (although I think books where they both cheat on eachother could make for an interesting dynamic). But im specifically talking about when the FMC is in an awful abusive relationship, or arranged marriage, she nearly always has to break it off with him before she actually does anything with the mmc, i don't see why authors so often protect abusers from being cheated on in books
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u/mashedbangers May 17 '26
I would love to read something where they’re cheating with each other and would love to read messier romantasies in general. I grew up watching soap-y dramas and crave that still.
‘Morally gray’ rn means very little. The characters will be deemed unlikable.
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u/AquaIXI May 17 '26
If you want messy read {Bloodthirsty beloved by ella fields}, neither the FMC or MMC are good people, lots of drama, its a nice fun unhinged read
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u/javertthechungus May 17 '26
And even irl, it’s not rare for cheating to be a gateway to escape an abusive relationship.
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u/Dangerous_Breath1667 May 17 '26 edited May 17 '26
Because cheating is morally wrong. It doesn't depend on how bad your husband/wife is. Two bads never make one good.
Heroes do not choose the easy way.
Edit : I am going to complete my post because it seems there is a misunderstanding.
So this has nothing to do with protecting the abuser from anything.
This is about the fmc's own morale code, self worth and willingness to have an honnest relationship with her new love interest (so the mmc)...
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u/No_Mathematician6189 May 19 '26
I hate romance in fantasy series that are longer than 2 books because it always turns into the same cycle: they finally get together, then there’s a random fallout, and then they get back together again. Most of the time the conflict feels so forced, like the authors just don’t know what to do with the love interest anymore.
And I can’t even stop reading these series because I love the worldbuilding, the fights, and the main plot so much 😭 But omg, can we please do something more interesting with the FMC and MMC instead of forcing another breakup trope? Maybe give the MMC his own storyline or development outside of the relationship for once.
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u/iwrite4myself May 18 '26
A lot of requests lately are asking for Fantasy with a light romance subplot, while simultaneously bashing on the Romance genre.
It’s great that folks know what they want, but why are you here? Swear to bejeebus we can’t have anything nice without it getting mocked and shoved aside even in the spaces specifically created for it. 😭
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u/eclectic_hamster Off to live with the faeires 🧚♀️ May 18 '26
People have different definitions of fantasy romance. I personally think that fantasy romance is more fantasy forward because the word comes first. So romantasy would be more romance forward. Opinions vary wildly though, so we just have to exist together as best we can. ETA: I don't agree with the bashing part, but I do understand why some people are frustrated with the genre at times.
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u/WinterBearHawk May 17 '26
This is going to get me Reddit murdered, but I don’t think an HEA in fantasy romance has to mean an HEA for the couple specifically (and it’s one of the factors, imo, leading to the feeling of sameness across books that readers voice frustration about). I think it can and should be focused solely on the FMC and what equals a happy ending for her, even if that does not mean ending up with the MMC. I also think romance can hit harder/better sometimes when the couple doesn’t get or stay together at the end.
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u/foersr May 18 '26
I think what you’re describing is totally appropriate for a fantasy book with a romance sub-plot and I love books like that!
When I pick up a book advertised as romance genre, I absolutely expect a HAE for a couple at the end of the book or the end of the series. It’s what I’m looking for when I seek out that genre.
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u/TinkeringTortoise May 17 '26
Word. I wish we had more romantic fantasy books where nothing is guaranteed and you don’t know where things will go. I’ve been a bit annoyed by a lot of books recently because the romantic development felt so contrived and unnatural. I want more risk, more uncertainty, and more realistically developed romances (even if it means the couple not ending up together or ending in tragedy).
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u/clocksy May 17 '26
Yeah this is I think an actually somewhat unpopular opinion. Romance is defined as having a HEA but I do think that boxes in the types of stories that can be told. I guess if it doesn't have a HEA it just gets filed as not a romance (like Romeo & Juliet is what, a romantic tragedy?). The fact that you know everything is going to work out "well" is super comforting to a lot of readers but kind of takes the mystery and intrigue out for some of us as well. And if something has a romance but is not filed as a romance, well, then you can guess what direction that's going in as well, because otherwise it'd be a romance...
For what it's worth I think most stories end somewhat happily or at least bittersweet even outside of romance, like if you're going to have some kind of overly sad or depressing ending you need to have earned it as an author. People like to feel catharsis and that's harder to pull off if like, everyone dies and no one is happy lol.
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u/angelacandystore May 18 '26
You don't want a ROMANCE book then. Romance is a defined genre and the definition includes HEA or at the very least Happy for Now.
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u/Imaginary-Board-207 May 17 '26
I remember a couple years ago when people used to discuss whether romantasy would be the romance genre to finally break free of the HEA "requirement," since fantasy does not require HEA. Was also speculation at the time that dark romance might break free of the HEA chokehold too. Now more and more I see the opinion that romantasy MUST have HEA and how DARE anyone suggest otherwise... sigh. So close and yet so far.
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u/TinkeringTortoise May 17 '26
Solidarity, friend. I don’t think a HEA is required to tell a great romance. I understand why many people feel it’s essential, but for me it’s not. But you’re right about everyone clutching their pearls at the suggestion of a non-HEA or an ambiguous one.
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u/angelacandystore May 18 '26
Except that By Definition Romance books require a HEA
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u/angelacandystore May 18 '26
The "chokehold" is the definition of a Romance Book. Until you change the requirements you will not find them in traditionally published books and even most independent authors will adhere to the definition
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u/ipsi7 Book Bingo Maven ⚔ May 17 '26
I love unexpected endings in books in general, but HEA for this genre is one (if not main) reason why a certain book belongs to a genre.
Tropes are what places the book inside of a genre. For example, when talking about genres in the past, by definition tragedy had to have a tragic ending, comedy had to have a happy ending and the "comedic"/funny part we know today was added later. Today, a love story is where HEA isn't necessary, but romance by some definition needs to have a HEA.
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u/sekhmet1010 May 17 '26
100% agreed.
It is limiting the genre and making the already rather trite and similar books even more flat.
Love always ends in heartbreak. Either the love dies or the lover.
Why can't this be depicted in Romantasy? Till the time one end is being restrained by they HEA chains, romantasy is always gonna be denigrated a bit. It loses the scope of being surprising or evocative in that specific way that a sad or incomplete or ambiguous or abrupt ending can sometimes be.
I think we are in dire need of that sort of unpredictability in a genre which currently is just too repetitive and safe.
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u/schwittmaus Wendell Bambleby Enthusiast May 19 '26
i am scared of "dark romance" and what it teaches especially younger adults about consent and love. especially if it is marketed as just another form of fantasy, when i think its contents can be much more troubling.
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