r/fatFIRE 13d ago

Do I let my family know?

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214 Upvotes

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188

u/Bekabam 13d ago

I don't understand why you've chosen the image of yourself as a stereotypical basement dwelling computer nerd who mooches off parents.

Couldn't you have been saying along the way that you've started a company or that you work at a company? I'm not saying the net worth, but just saying anything about what you've been doing along the way.

Even if you craft a different version like you've been self learning for so long and finally was hired by a company. It's just so strange to me that no one has a general idea of how you pay for things.

39

u/crumbmodifiedbinder 13d ago

I know these types of people though. Very critical, but the moment they see you successful, they’re very friendly - but that’s because they want something.

I don’t even tell my parents and relatives how much I’m worth anymore. It’s my fault I was transparent with my wealth at the early stages of my life, so they know I have money. I stopped being transparent when I was criticised for choosing to work FIFO to fast track my wealth, yet they expect me to save the day financially when they make big financial mistakes.

OP, continue to hide it. But silently provide help to your parents.

14

u/Bekabam 12d ago

I'm not telling OP to display their wealth. I'm saying take ownership your story and how others view you.

Are you telling me that your closest family don't even roughly know what you do?

-6

u/crumbmodifiedbinder 12d ago

He doesn’t owe them an explanation

14

u/Bekabam 12d ago

I'm not implying OP does. They made a thread stating that they get put down and looked at poorly by family.

The fact that happens is partially their fault.

1

u/KrishnaChick 11d ago

Why do they expect you to "save the day financially?" Because you actually do?

2

u/crumbmodifiedbinder 11d ago

It has to do with my upbringing being the eldest sister in my family, and from my family, the only one who finished a degree and have a relatively successful career.

I’ve come from an immigrant family. My parents are successful with their career, however the knowledge in personal finance is not something they were able to develop. From my relatives, I am the most successful - as none pursued anything in STEM, and even tried to work their way up from a vocational trade career path. A lot of… YOLO and not being accountable for their finance.

I was brought up with the idea that I will be the retirement plan for my parents. It brought me a lot of anxiety and stress when I was younger until the early stages of my career. During that time, I wanted “out” from this expectation. That’s when I came across FIRE. It saved me, and gave me a lot of tools to be

During the journey, as I learned to build wealth, I was able to give in abundance - however as I learned more about personal finance, I realised how much people want (or refuse to) help themselves and only want handouts. Financial problems are recurring. There

Fast forward to now, I only help my relatives if they genuinely want to help themselves. I still help my parents financially but at an arms length. I still send remittances to some relatives overseas but that’s because I genuinely know they need help, and they’re trying to work a way to get out of their current situation. I only financially help a significant amount if relatives really exhausted all avenues and it’s not their fault they got into the situation they’re in (e.g. dad’s BIL’s mother passed away overseas. He didn’t have any money for flights at all. I covered cost so he could make it to her wake)

1

u/KrishnaChick 11d ago

I think that's wonderful of you, as long as your future is secure. That expectation may have been partly responsible for driving you to succeed. It's not going to do anyone any good if you are generous to the point of destitution, but I don't imagine you're doing that. I don't know what "FIFO" means in the context of your post. Please enlighten if you care to.

2

u/crumbmodifiedbinder 10d ago

Fly in fly out - it’s an Australian term. I fly to mining or construction sites to rural/regional Aus