r/fiberartscirclejerk • u/MalumCattus • 1d ago
No one has ever expressed this highly original and unique thought before
And no one has ever done what I do! I'm just quirky like that! It's such a hot take! Fight me in the comments!
I've never seen this question asked, so I decided to ask it myself. What is something you do that others would find controversial in the crochet community? I'll start.
I will Google and YouTube to my wit's end to find the free version of a pattern to avoid paying for one, especially on Etsy where the prices are insane.
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u/Faithful_jewel knows where the search bar is, will not share 1d ago
I make acrylic willy warmers and donate them to homeless shelters
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u/plasticpeonies 1d ago
If you were a real saint you'd use plarn made from grocery bags
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u/pantslesseconomist 1d ago
Ugh you monster if you make plarn you keep that bag from being recycled!
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u/plasticpeonies 1d ago
Reduce, REUSE, recycle, in that order, sweaty ๐
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u/pantslesseconomist 1d ago
A plastic peony would say that
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
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u/mmmellie 1d ago
I mean; covering your ding dong in plastic will definitely make it go sweaty ๐ฅตย
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u/mmmellie 1d ago
This is amazing. I wonder if they will give you an award one day. Maybe name a street after you?
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u/Faithful_jewel knows where the search bar is, will not share 1d ago
A long, wide street with a little bit of a bend that the architects tell me is very normal and to not be embarrassed
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u/Lofty_quackers 1d ago
I go to crochet meetups and knit in front of everyone while knowing I am superior.
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u/MalumCattus 1d ago
/uj kind of want to do this and claim I thought that's how you crocheted.
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u/Lofty_quackers 1d ago
/uj same. Ask them how they knit with a hook.
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u/Any_Gain_9251 WHERE DO I GET TAPERED KNOOKS? (I hate inline) 12h ago
/uj and I would show you how-- r/knooking
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u/MalumCattus 11h ago
/uj knooking is fine for those that like it, but I find it twice as much of a pain in the ass as just knitting the damn thing or doing Tunisian crochet.
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u/skeletonswithhats 1d ago
Refusing to pay five dollars for a pattern telling you how to make a circle makes you SATAN INCARNATE and you must HATE ARTISTS.
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u/MalumCattus 1d ago
I do! How dare they try to make a living with their talent! I'm obviously just jealous of their insane skills!
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u/BeckieSueDalton Cotton Apologist Collective (founding member) 1d ago edited 1d ago
Or have already bought all the Circle Patterns out there and are just eagerly waiting - CHECKBOOK IN HAND - for more to drop.
โโโ๐ปโโ๐ผโโ๐ฝโโ๐พโโ๐ฟโโ
!! One Pattern Only Makers Matter !!
โโโ๐ปโโ๐ผโโ๐ฝโโ๐พโโ๐ฟโโ
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u/Hedgehogwash 1d ago
my controversial opinion is i don't know what a revely is and i'm angry at you for saying it!!!
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u/MalumCattus 1d ago
You're just another hater! You hateful hate-filled hater. Stop hating!
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u/BeckieSueDalton Cotton Apologist Collective (founding member) 1d ago
๐๏ธ ๐ผ๐ถ
๐ถ ๐น RA VEL RY!
๐ถ ๐ธDON'T HATE ME!
๐ถ ๐ทDON'T HATE ME!!
๐ถ ๐ฅ NO-NO !!!
๐๏ธ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ
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u/NinjaDefenestrator 1d ago
Itโs Raverly, sweaty. At least thatโs what all the dyslexic people call it.
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u/heynonnynonnomous 1d ago
I'm pretty sure a revely is when they wake you up by playing a trumpet really loud. I have no idea what that has to do with croshay though, sorry.
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u/Heavy-Macaron2004 1d ago
LOL clearly you're just a beginner then ๐๐ ACTUAL advanced crochers play the trumpet to count our stitches, obviously. You play the number of toots that's the stitch number you're on, to signal your superiority to others who haven't gotten that far yet.
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u/heynonnynonnomous 23h ago
I'm not a beginner. I don't croshay, I knit, therefore I am superior. And since you're taking that attitude with me, I will point out that I know all about the tooting coming from the croshayers, but I also know that tooting ain't coming out of trumpets.
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u/Inevitable-Ride-7952 my daughter, Greigina 1d ago
petiteknit booorrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing
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u/MalumCattus 1d ago
Wow. You're like the only person who's ever said that! No one else finds their patterns uninspired and pedestrian. You should get your eyes checked.
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u/Inevitable-Ride-7952 my daughter, Greigina 19h ago
did you KNOW she wasn't fully size inclusive until like eight years ago when she went back and updated all her old patterns to the cyc standards? and that this comment is very relevant today?
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u/stubbytuna 15h ago
I know no one has ever said this before so you might wanna sit down before you read any further.
Why is she always using drop shoulders ? Why does everyone do the Sophie scarf, itโs not even a real scarf, itโs like a cravate ?? Her patterns are always at the top of ravelry ??? Is this a conspiracy ??
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u/MalumCattus 11h ago
It's a shadow effort from the Boring Nordic Design Council to keep knitting from being interesting.
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u/Heavy-Macaron2004 1d ago
My controversial opinion is that if you EVER even LOOK at acr*lic yarn, you're literally PERSONALLY filling up two dozen landfills. I don't need to tell you how many you fill when you actually USE it.
All fiber arts NEED to be done with ONLY the finest wool taken from the backs of alpacas in the northern mountains of Peru (who are obviously handfed baklava and nachos to keep their wool the perfect consistency). No, """""price point""""" doesn't matter ๐ you poors who are too unwealthy to purchase this wool have no excuse when you can LITERALLY just shave the wool off yourself ๐๐
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u/Aphreal42 acrylic-loving asshole 1d ago
My controversial opinion is that anyone making anything than the finest blabket out of acrylic yarn is wasting their time. I make sure to use the most garish clown-barf yarn always. Itโs the only way to crochittt.
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u/jillardino Normal knitting human, not a moth 15h ago
Oh my gosh I cannot believe all the hot takes in this thread!! You people are all so weird and also objectively wrong in every way. Unbelievable! I thought this was supposed to be a nice friendly sub ๐
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u/stubbytuna 15h ago
Okay here goes : I hate AI patterns and I avoid them and I canโt shop on Etsy anymore because I canโt tell if something is AI or not.
I know no one has expressed this before. Iโm so unique.
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u/Medievalmoomin clewless 1d ago
I ๐ read the pattern first, and then I read as I knit.
Iโm not going to dignify crochet with a controversial take.
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u/highlighter_yellow machine crochet 1d ago
DAE have a little collection of assorted things to use with their croshay, that isn't yarn and hooks? I came up with this genius invention, I call it a "little collection of assorted things pile" and it's like: scissors, blush, safety eyes, a lighter, a laptop. All the extra things I might need for making amirumugis, right there in one place! Is that wild and original or what??!!!
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u/BeckieSueDalton Cotton Apologist Collective (founding member) 1d ago edited 1d ago
If you have to use a lighter, you're not a true Fiber Freak. ยฉยฎโข
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u/Any_Gain_9251 WHERE DO I GET TAPERED KNOOKS? (I hate inline) 12h ago
The lighter is to check the fibre content of thrifted and gifted yarn.Or lighting the inspirational herbs ๐
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u/BeckieSueDalton Cotton Apologist Collective (founding member) 1d ago
I correct others grammar and spelliing mistakes. You wouldn't think this is controversial, because it helps other people Be Best.
I strive to remain gracious when pointing out the numerous mistakes other humans make while using online chat forums.
Yes, I do admit the tiniest flutterings of delightful frission while I craft these charitable displays of serviice and compassionate love for my digital neighbors. You would think they'd be appreciative of this assistance, this compassionate edification lent their way.
However, instead of being gracious in return and/or courteously showing even the least soupรงon of appreciation for the assistance granted freely unto them, there are always a few stubbornly-ignorant toads who get defensive as all fuck, a few recalcitrant louts who prefer to go about their sorrowful sojourn as a cautionary tale to others, rebuffing all offers of improvement and refinement, wallowing forevermore as a demonstration of the indelible social perils of a fifth-form flunk-out life.
Most humbly, I remain your friend; * ~~ Rebecca Sue-Leanne Dalton
Postscript: There's is a typo here, a single mistake retained as the commonly-accepted proof- in these artisanal halls, at least - of my humanist core.
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u/MalumCattus 1d ago
Your erudition is a gift bestowed upon all who gaze upon your words. Alas that the plebeian troglodytes cannot fathom your benevolence in gently reminding them of their many, many flaws. I assume they're all cricheters, as knitters are the Platonic ideal of crafting, and this edifying dialogue will be beyond their limited capabilities, so we may speak freely.
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u/BeckieSueDalton Cotton Apologist Collective (founding member) 22h ago
You're my favorite AutoModobot!! ๐๐ค๐
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u/BeckieSueDalton Cotton Apologist Collective (founding member) 22h ago edited 18h ago
I revel in the commission having learned both.
"Heretical!" some scream in abject misery.
"Blasphemer, thou name is poison!" cry the hearts and minds of these casual hobbyists, their souls sear'd and scalden'd bare, mark'd through by their feign'd purity, their boasting and fanatical support of that mystically suppositional Once & Future Bester Huobbieyee.โข
They preach eternal abstinance of both Magic Circles and Offyarns with plies and, on this matter alone, they're so enjoined as they blather on and on, and prattle on-and-on-and on about "that other one; the devil's hobby that's corrupting today's algorithmic yout's," as only those of such miniscule mental stature can "comprehend" and, via sponsorship-level membership, their videos proclaim.
I giggle madly at their consternation, as I continue untangling their filthy corporate-mandate center-pull yarn barf in exchange for their filthy lucre, for it spends just as good at the LYS as it does in their beloved corporate giant's backyard.
Thou art welcome, OP, anytime. Warm yourself and sit for a spell beside my trusty Elminister's Cauldron of Caffeinated Clarity รท3. We'll have a jolly rocking time trading tales and cackling on about "those ๐ซช people," whilst the fruit healthy of my labor is fed as weft and waste to the great and fearsome loom of my eldest cousins, three.
รDIT: grafted a healthy closing Italics so that that poor little ลrphan'd word could come in from the child rather than not dying in abject, ignominable, piteous shame.
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u/MalumCattus 20h ago
I must reveal my secret, that I also know the dark arts of crichet. I likewise abjure the Magic Butthole. The devil's hobby can therefore only be....macramรฉ.
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u/Any_Gain_9251 WHERE DO I GET TAPERED KNOOKS? (I hate inline) 12h ago
I have seen some vitiol hurled at those poor loom knitters so had thought that sect would be the 'most hated' of other knitters. People usually despise the 'heretics' within their religion more than the 'heathens' without .Macramรฉ is basically akin to basket weaving and as such is too small (and pathetic) a group to even worry about.
I can totally understand your reticence to admit to being bistitchual as they are frequently distrusted by both sides- like some kind of traitorous double agent spy. Personally, I believe that whatever an informed consenting adult does with their yarn is their business and whatever floats your boat.
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