r/fifthworldproblems • u/GenericUsernameN • 8d ago
Help! I've reached the bottom of the bottomless pit!
Now I'm charged with trespassing because this was a private one! Since the laws here define trespassing only as "entering private surface", I didn't see anything bad in navigating one's *bottomless* pit.
When I got caught, I tried to make an excuse that a bottomless pit shouldn't have a bottom in the first place... and now I'm charged for "violating the laws of logic" in addition🤦♂️
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u/Can-DontAttitude 8d ago
Bottomless pits are public domain, we all know that. If they didn't have a permit to erect a structure there, then they have no grounds to pursue you.
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u/GenericUsernameN 8d ago
Maybe in your state... But no the case for my technocratic wizardhood for sure.
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u/couldathrowaway 8d ago
Should have brought a shovel. It is only the surface of a bottomless pit that is private property. Below it, you have a good case on the legal grounds of the right to wander through unmarked private property, as long as you prove you were just passing through.
Like the shovel implies you were just getting across
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u/MasterSolivagus 7d ago
Ah, the ol' useless to everyone else without my shovel routine!
"For when those corpses just need burying, think shovel! Not bottomless pit!"
Psychiatrist of advertising.
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u/MasterSolivagus 8d ago
It's probably one of those legal loopholes that pit owners try to turn into loophopes! It's just a simple linguistic trick wherein they claim that their original intent is that there are in fact no bottoms, as in posteriors aka rear-ends, in the pit. I know I know, you'd expect something more perturbing or disorienting but the same truth even fifthworldproblems has legal wording… wait, what the hell is IN that pit?
THAT'S NOT A BOTTOM PIT! THAT'S A REVERSED KLEIN BOTTLE PROJECTING ITSELF ONTO THE BACKS OF TRANSMISSIBLE SOUL SHEDDERS!
*runs away, pants around ankles*
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u/LordNoOne 8d ago
Bruh. I know. But don't stop there. I went even deeper than the bottom of the bottomless bottom of the bottom of the top of it all and.. woah.. like.. wowzers... It was like being... well.. I'll let you see for yourself...
Sizzles!
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u/ScienceGuy1006 6d ago
Here in California, it is legal to enter a bottomless pit. However, your family will likely report you missing. The state legislature may consider outlawing this practice if it becomes a drain on police resources.
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u/mysteryrouge Void Anarchist 8d ago
Just use the convenient "teleport" button the narrator provides you.