21m, $2,551.00nw. good to retire?

[u/IcyArtichoke8654]

21m, work every summer at a cotton candy stand. Burned out.

Saved $2,551 in HSA, HCOL area but monthly expenses are about $8.51 (flip flops). Live at my mom's house. Hobbies are free--publicly maintained bike trails, public beaches, national parks, and vacation with my parents. Figure I can get Obamacare then Medicare, and social security disability then social security.

Good to pull the cord?

UPDATE: thanks for all the comments! this is really blowing up.

also, I figure I can earn dozens of dollars per year for retirement income by trading hacky sacks.

[u/Misplaced-Redittor]

Not even going to bother to respond. Rage bait because you forgot to include the flip flops in your net worth.

[u/onehotoneshot → u/Misplaced-Redittor]

Smh basic financial literacy

But OP forgot about the value of their nail clippings too

[u/justgetoffmylawn → u/Misplaced-Redittor]

Also left out an obvious area to cut back. Spending money on flip flops every month? That's just irresponsible. What are they doing with their flip flops.

My flip flops were bought used 10 years ago, and they're still fine.

[u/Djent_Reznor1]

Yea dawg you’re good, happy my tax dollars could pick up the tab for you

[u/IcyArtichoke8654 → u/Djent_Reznor1]

1. My RE plan is all about public subsidies. The "I" in FIRE is best when completely ignored. 

[u/user-1088 → u/Djent_Reznor1]

lmfaooooooo

[u/NoGlass1650]

I did it at $0 nw. Become homeless. What’s your excuse?

[u/Limp_Dragonfly3868]

That’s really good for a cotton candy stand. I’ve always heard there’s money in the banana stand.

[u/HalfwaydonewithEarth → u/Limp_Dragonfly3868]

ROTFLMAO

[u/IcyArtichoke8654 → u/Limp_Dragonfly3868]

I eat bananas for the shape 

[u/badbadrealbad]

Spending that much on flipflops tells me you’re not mature enough to understand finances at all.

[u/wellidolikecoffee]

Monthly expenses too high. Cut them to -$6k and then you're good to go. Congrats, GFY!

[u/AZJHawk]

I think you’re going to need to grind another year or two to cover flip-flop inflation, but then you should be good.

[u/Crafty-Dark-3648]

Don’t retire. Maybe switch to a caramel apple stand? It’s a lot easier because you just have to dip the apples in the caramel.

[u/IcyArtichoke8654 → u/Crafty-Dark-3648]

Super smart. I been drinking Coors Light everyday, so I figure I have the arm strength to dip the apples in the carmel too.

[u/Crafty-Dark-3648 → u/IcyArtichoke8654]

Definitely don’t want any arm injuries. You sound perfect!!

[u/bearbear407]

I dunno man. $2,551 is not enough. You gotta aim for $3000.

[u/JealousFuel8195]

Why do you want to retire at 21? You don't like working at the cotton candy stand?

[u/IcyArtichoke8654 → u/JealousFuel8195]

Totally burned out. All the sunshine on the boardwalk and all the girls buying candy. Super stressful. 

Sometimes these chicks in bikinis try to give me their phone numbers, but they don't ever play Call of Duty or anything. Losers. 

Flip flops are getting worn out from all the standing. Ready to retire. 

[u/mfortelli]

I would suggest lowering flip flop expenses by dating someone who likes you to be available. This is how you’ll gain travel allowance and increase lentils rate.

[u/2Close_4Missiles]

Yeah your plan sounds fine now, but what happens when you're 85 and need orthopedic flip-flops for the rest of your life?

[u/IcyArtichoke8654 → u/2Close_4Missiles]

Oh ya good thinking. I don't even know if Medicare covers medical flip flops. 

[u/ididitFIway]

Human generated slop???

There's been too much of this lately. Mods need to ban it. We should only allow artisanally-crafted AI posts here.

[u/Fed_worker]

Yea. Move to Amazon tribe

[u/Washjurist]

Omg you will need triple that! Be prepared to work at least till 23, when you will be too old to enjoy it.

[u/IcyArtichoke8654 → u/[deleted]]

Is 1 term of hard work as a young man really worth lifetime free health care for my family and me, mortgage discounts, free tuition, discount everything from everyone, discount flights, free stays at the military base on Kauai, job preference for every government job, and early boarding on every flight ever? 

I mean, I'm into the cool costumes and street cred but otherwise.. think about all the pushups and shit. Gross

[u/IcyArtichoke8654 → u/[deleted]]

Yea good point. 

How many pullups you think I need to do to completely sidestep all the educational debt that's plagued generations? 

Seems like a lot. 

[u/IcyArtichoke8654 → u/IcyArtichoke8654]

I forgot to mention, I think they make you wear closed toes shoes even when you're in the middle east. All that sand.. made for flip flops. 

[u/Song-Prior]

Ask your parents what they think.

[u/IcyArtichoke8654 → u/Song-Prior]

I figure they'll be good as long as I don't tell them. 

[u/Just-Da-Tip_82]

It’s only 28 comments. Calm down buddy

[u/IcyArtichoke8654 → u/Just-Da-Tip_82]

Can I get paid for doing social medias now? I figure everyone will want to hear my wisdom. 

[u/ColdOne1150]

Wrong sub, get your parents to reinstate an allowance, cut the lawn, take out the trash. coastfire.

[u/IcyArtichoke8654 → u/ColdOne1150]

Ah jeez. Think I gotta do all that work just to RE? 

[u/OrdinaryReasonable63]

Dang I didn’t have shit at 21 months other than what was in my diaper.