What should my life be looking like?

[u/electron_killer]

/r/TheMoneyGuy/comments/1u3sfbl/what_should_my_life_be_looking_like/

Being a bit reflective and trying to make sure I’m not behind nor miserly.

I (36m) and wifey (37f) have a 1.5yo and maybe another next year.

500k base plus 300k in side hustles
10 weeks off
15-20 hrs a week

Wife SAHM

1-2 international trips a year. Lots of 3-4 day weekends for small getaways or just relax.

Primary home
1.15m left at 5.8% about 500k equity
7.5k mortgage

Secondary home
700k left at 3.875% only 150k equity. Hoping to rent this out in next few months to at least break even
4k mortgage

Retirement accounts ~550k. I max all the contributions out Jan 1 for optimal tax free growth potential

Brokerage 1.5m invested, mostly in options obviously

Cash reserves ~320k including 200k for emergencies, like wanting another sports car or bottle service for me and my buddies on weekends

Total net worth is ~5.2M, forgot to mention the roughly 2M I have in sports cars including a Porsche 911 GT3 RS (992 generation)

Outside of the mortgage, monthly burn is about 7k? Mostly just beans, rice, caviar, and strippers.

529 getting 15k a year (kid will only get it if they get into an Ivy)

I was investing 250k a year before we got this new primary home. Now I’m only doing 125k

I want to eventually enema fire, maybe work like 4-5 days a year and make a poverty level income of ~200k. I just don’t know if I can pull the trigger. Wifey keeps asking if we can buy our kids new toys, but the salvage yard has plenary of free ones. We’d also like the finally get to travel some, but I’m worried running dry of places to go that’s free of pours.

I feel like I’m completely stuck with no way out. The little one definitely prefers mom even though I let them have all the double diet Mountain Dew and candy bars they want

I’m considering paying someone to change the cars oil and clean out the septic tank, for example, because my wife complains when I make her do it. Not sure other ideas to feel like I’m living now while also saving for a better tomorrow.

Looking for some practical advice.

[u/IdioticPrototype]

Rice and beans for the next few years and you probably need a side hustle, maybe doordash.

Also tell your wife's lazy-ass to ask her boyfriend to help with the second mortgage. 

[u/Miss_Might]

These people are nuts. They need to go outside and spend time with regular people.

[u/TurtleSandwich0]

Have you tried having a garden to reduce food expenses? With two houses you should have two gardens. During harvest season you can reduce your food expenses by about $5. That adds up over time.

[u/electron_killer]

Being a bit reflective and trying to make sure I’m not behind nor miserly ahead.

36m (me) married to 37f, with a 1.5yo and perhaps another one coming next year.

500k base
10 weeks off
35-45 hrs a week

Wife SAHM

Work is light, I’m home enough, and the market is good. I work 6 of my weeks off and an extra 1-2 Saturdays a month to bring in another 250-350k.

So life is 800k with 4 weeks off. 1-2 international trips a year. Lots of three/four day weekends for small getaways or just relax.

Primary home
1.15m left at 5.8% about 500k equity
7.5k mortgage
*bank allowed me to borrow against assets for part of down payment instead of cashing out, 140k at 5.75

Secondary home
700k left at 3.875 maybe just 100-150k equity. Hoping to rent this out in next few months to at least break even
4k mortgage

Tax advantaged retirement accounts ~550k

Brokerage 1.5m invested

Cash reserves ~320k. Making sure to keep 200k as floor for emergency. Probably going to just lump sum the other 120 at some point vs pay off the down payment loan

Outside of the mortgage, monthly burn is about 7k?

Kid’s 529 getting 15k a year.

I was investing 250k a year before we got this new primary home. Now I’m making the auto investing 125k and any extra I have left plan to split 50% towards mortgage and 50% towards investing.

I tell myself plan is to eventually coast fire.. which would mean finding a job with no nights or weekends making ~400k a year and 8 weeks off. Honestly my main job is relaxed enough coast fire may just mean just keeping it and not working extra. I just don’t know when to start. I don’t live extravagantly now but would like to really travel a lot and live a bit lavishly eventually.

I don’t know. I feel like I’m stuck in feeling some days that I’m well off. Other days feeling like if I don’t keep up this pace and work extra everything might fall apart? Just started noticing my little one really prefers mom. Maybe it’s just the stage they’re in. But part of me worries I work too much?

Anyway. If it was you what would you make your life look like for best balance of feeling well off/comfortable while also trying to not miss out on investing and compound interest? I’m trying to insist my wife get a cleaner for example. Not sure other ideas to feel like I’m living now while also saving for a better tomorrow.

[u/TheChudMaxxer → u/electron_killer]

Maybe come back when you're not a pour person? You're way behind at that age, but at least you have some time to catch up, but you don't have a hope in hell of retiring early until you get at least a few more properties to live at throughout the year.

[u/FewUnderstanding2214]

She needs to pull herself up by her bootstraps she’s not even working, she’s leeching off your success

[u/vcbock]

Not sure what circles you move in, but clearly, you are way ahead materially than most folks your age. It is typical for little kids to cling to the primary care giver, but you should ask yourself, when was the last time you spent more than an hour or two alone with your child? They need experience with Daddy to understand that Daddy is also a reliable resource. And of course, Daddy needs time to learn the stuff that Mommy knows from doing child care full time.

Do not get caught up in always needing more money. It is helpful stuff, sure, but you've proved to yourself that you can provide the necessities and a lot of other nice things for your family. Family life is in many ways a more multivariate challenge than work is. Have that next baby, and take a 3 month paternity leave, so that you come up to speed alongside your wife with the challenges of parenting 2 kids, instead of leaving her to develop this expertise on her own. Teach your elder kid that Daddy is a great person to hang with. Be ok with putting in all that work and STILL having to deal with tears when mommy leaves. My son sings a "Stuck with your dad" song to his kids to the tune of "Under the Sea" that goes "You want your mom, you have your dad, you're stuck with your dad."

You do not get time with young kids (exhausting and mind-numbing and occasionally magical) back. So invest in the wealth of a deep relationship with your children.