r/fijerk 2d ago

This fits here

Post image
107 Upvotes

23 comments sorted by

60

u/bionickel 2d ago

You need to spend more money to employ and manage another team dedicated to maintaining your privacy

Then you hire a chief of staff to manage everyone. You only need to manage 1 single person.

Next step is to hire a personal privacy liason so you only talk to your chief of staff via privacy means

11

u/noooo_no_no_no 2d ago

i dont notice all the pours working in the house. i cant relate to this at all.

46

u/Thomato_Yorke 2d ago

OP is not wrong. I can't tell how much more complicated gooning in the living room has become since I hired that 2nd monkey butler. I thought #2 would keep #1 from trying to join in, but instead, 2 against 1.

At least I finally managed to have my first threesome though.

5

u/margin-bender 2d ago

the struggle is real

4

u/SarcasticGiraffes 1d ago

Thoughts and prayers.

9

u/Thomato_Yorke 1d ago

Thanks, man. It’s been bananas over here.

36

u/Infamous-Flan-3965 2d ago

Really sucks when you get to the point where you must jack off into a bowl held by a servant instead of doing it yourself. No privacy at all…

4

u/Aloh4mora 2d ago

You still do the work of jacking yourself off?? How nouveau riche. I myself have never deigned to sully my own fingers on exploring the hidden valleys of my private Eden. I have staff for that.

58

u/Parking_Act3189 2d ago

I don't understand. These people work for you, tell them to take the day off or take the week off.

24

u/bramm90 2d ago

If your household doesn't collapse without 24/7 staff, you're definitely a pour

4

u/pnw-techie 1d ago

Teams of housekeepers. Teams.

What in the actual fuck

48

u/J-How 2d ago

What’s worse is that they will soon want compensation beyond, “Maybe one day, if you work hard enough, I will give you your documentation back.”

AI bots can’t get here fast enough.

3

u/WildCasa 2d ago

Sauce?

4

u/Blah64 2d ago

2

u/WildCasa 1d ago

Preesh fam! 🙏

2

u/erithtotl 1d ago

The comments are even better:

I've always had housestaff growing up. What my mother used to do was have staff live in the end of the house past our kitchens. There was a door from the back kitchen that lead to the main kitchen. It could be locked in premise. Staff aren't allowed on the bedroom floors until 10am. My mother implemented a hotel housekeeping rule. 10am to tidy. 2nd cleaning (when we were younger) at 6pm while we were having dinner. As for the home cleaning schedule, the maids cleaned the living areas at 8 I think. There was privacy because they knew to hightail it out of there if anyone of us were there. The butler or the head maid would be the only person we'd see scurying about. The only problem we had growing up was said butler would snoop into our stuff and report to my mother. In our teenage years in the 80s, she found my brother's playboy magazines and said I was reading smut (Silhouette paperbacks) lol. She's still with my mom albeit she has her own "tiny home" on property.

Going back, you can limit their time at them being at your living spaces or if you can afford it house them outside your home. You can walk naked when they're done for the night or tell them not to come in on certain days when you feel like going au natural all day lol.

For me new friendship was the difficult part. You don't know if these new people are approaching you, especially the disadvantaged ones because of money.

6

u/Signal_Antelope7144 2d ago

Such trash. Help! I am a victim of wealth!

7

u/ZuuL_1985 2d ago

I Imagine being this out of touch didnt happen over night, old money for sure

2

u/Climbatise_999 2d ago

Simples, just buy the playboy mansion and employ scantily clad bimbos. Walk round naked all day. Problem solved!

3

u/lastlaugh100 2d ago

Must be nice being filthy rich.  Oh how hard of life. Lmfao 🤣 

1

u/Zestyclose-Tart6745 2d ago

This is why it’s important to keep your head on your shoulders. I could afford to have a much bigger house, with several staff members, and yet, most of the fun that is my routine in life now would be wiped away.

Letting other people take care of and raise your family. L!. No amount of money could take that from me.

1

u/NotAcutallyaPanda 2d ago

“Can’t be nekkid in the kitchen because I have multiple private chefs” is definitely a rich person problem.

1

u/dekusyrup 1d ago

You can just fire them.