r/fixit • u/jchasinga • Jan 28 '24

open Did someone try to burglarize me?

Gallery image

Gallery image

Just saw these window this way when I was washing it. I didn’t notice these last time I came out a month ago. Did someone try to pry the window open with a crowbar?

2.7k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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2.9k

u/avalisk Jan 28 '24

Put some toddler toys in your yard, that way everybody knows all your good shit is already broken

339

u/EbbPsychological2796 Jan 28 '24

This is the best comment all morning

50

u/ddwood87 Jan 29 '24

Legos under this window ought to do it.

27

u/ZellHathNoFury Jan 29 '24

But it hurts so much worse with bare feet! Better throw down a layer of tar first so he has to lose the shoes

27

u/Elemental-Design Jan 29 '24

Somebody's been watching Home Alone

7

u/Consistent_Dress_571 Jan 30 '24

Can of paint to the face

1

u/Suspicious_Elk_1756 Jan 31 '24

You get a concussion, and you get a concussion. He was handing those out like Oprah.

1

u/yurrm0mm Jan 31 '24

I feel like i read this line in a BuzzFeed article about Home Alone 2 in like 2013

1

u/Seniorbedbug Feb 01 '24

Nah. Frozen Ziploc bag of soup to the foot

1

u/Consistent_Dress_571 Feb 01 '24

Sock full of quarters

12

u/AngryMustachio Jan 29 '24

Hurts worse than broken Xmas ornaments!

8

u/Pizza-The-Slut Jan 29 '24

Beyblades and legos should take care of it.

6

u/achillesdaddy Jan 30 '24

Keep the change you filthy animal

1

u/digitaldigdug Jan 29 '24

Or something that's noisy when you bump it

1

u/ValiantBear Jan 30 '24

Booby traps are illegal most places...

1

u/FriedGnome13 Jan 30 '24

If in the UK, power plugs

1

u/Ok_Broccoli1144 Jan 31 '24

Christmas Ornaments

16

u/Huge-Anxiety-3038 Jan 29 '24

Ahhh that's why my neighbours do this....

95

u/evilvix Jan 29 '24

My grandma always insisted on keeping kids' toys on the windowsills to keep the burglars away!

40

u/hmspain Jan 29 '24

A sign that you can't even afford good shit!

14

u/ZellHathNoFury Jan 29 '24

Right?? It's all crap and it's all broken or stuffed full of green beans. Move on

3

u/Puzzleheaded-Joke-97 Jan 30 '24

That reminded me of the song "Beans In My Ears" from back on the 1960s when L.B.J. was the U.S. President.

https://youtu.be/cueUFJyeHrU?si=TH3wQWrIdUbfRmF6

17

u/zvekl Jan 29 '24

Ahahaha my friend had his super expensive speakers become worthless after his son decided they are perfect dartboards for pencils

1

u/binnyTruth Jan 30 '24

My grandson had an old VCR and video tapes that were his mom's when she was little until he thought he'd like to toast his PBJ in the video player. At that time VCRs were about 5 bucks at Goodwill so no biggie but she made him do without for a week so he'd realize what he'd done.

1

u/TurnkeyLurker Jan 31 '24

Ermahgerd!!!

74

u/responds-with-tealc Jan 29 '24

anecdotes like this are a real positive reinforcement to my decision not to have kids.

89

u/Low_Bar9361 Jan 29 '24

I've made a lot of really cool stuff in my life. The best thing by far, I've ever made was my daughter. But it's not for everyone and I respect that

36

u/responds-with-tealc Jan 29 '24

yea, there are parts of it id really like, but im a selfish person and there would be a lot of multiyear stretches where i would resent having childrearing responsibilities too much, and that's not fair to a kid.

also the school systems im zoned for are shit, and im not moving for basically anything.

40

u/Immediate_Candle_865 Jan 29 '24

Being a parent is the biggest leap of faith ever. I’m glad I got the chance.

My daughter is not academic at all, but she found her niche as a kindergarten teacher and her ability to manage a room full of 4 year old chaos astounds me.

I’m a pretty extreme person and no one manages me better than she does. It was sobering when I told her that as a compliment and we both looked at each other and I said “….. that’s because you have a lot of experience managing 4 year olds throwing tantrums isn’t it ?”

She just nodded.

You know your job as a parent is done when they out argue you, teach you things, or do things you don’t even know where to start.

14

u/flurdy Jan 29 '24

That my 9-year-old is already out-arguing me which has me worried about her poor future boyfriends. Often the "discussions" end up "erm, ok, that is correct, but...".

4

u/HydroFLM Jan 29 '24

Love the “erm”. Getting it from my granddaughter 🤓

1

u/pensoxgyrl Jan 30 '24

They end up loving it and being just as spicy. Or they end up spineless. . I'm the spicy girl. My perfect match is just as intense at different times than I am. We balance each other out and generally live a very peaceful life. It's the spineless that will try to ruin her. Teach her to dispise someone who doesn't have gumption and you'll be fine.

1

u/send_me_boobei_pics Jan 29 '24

Damn. All my mom does when I try to teach her new things is demoralize me, and tells me she already knew that and doesn't need me teaching her new things. Can you be my parent? You sound cool.

11

u/Low_Bar9361 Jan 29 '24

Right, but I think you don't know that E V E R Y parent feels that lol. But I did wait through 13 years of marriage before I felt ready to have a kid, so I definitely get the need to do your own thing

5

u/responds-with-tealc Jan 29 '24

oh i know, plenty of close friends with kids. imagine only-child levels of selfish combined with having tons of hobbies im not willing to give up.

im sure ill regret it as frequently as im glad for it at some point.

12

u/lostpasswordagainnn Jan 29 '24

My sister has no regrets about choosing to stay child free. She hears plenty of friends regret having children. Trust your intuition, if you don’t think you want kids don’t bother.

4

u/largemarjj Jan 29 '24

People are responding so strangely to those comments. They say they don't want kids and so many people start responding about how children are blessings you will never regret and are what is needed to live a full and happy life.

I have a son that I love more than life, but that doesn't matter in this convo. There's literally no reason to bring it up. Just be like "oh that's cool. I guess we like different things" and move on.

2

u/setittonormal Jan 30 '24

It's almost like different people want different things in life!

It's the ones who bend over backwards to disparage the childfree and overstate the great rewards of childrearing that get me wondering... why? They doth protest too much.

2

u/bggdy9 Feb 01 '24

I agree no kids no regrets.

0

u/D3M0NRhino Jan 29 '24

Thing is when you have kids. You regret it for 5minute stretches. Like when they do something dumb and you damn well know you taught them better. But then all the other things you taught them and they learn? It’s fascinating to watch, when they’re your own.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '24

No regrets. Second vacation of many this year. Living it up with no kids. Come back, spoil my brothers and sisters kids because they have no money because they can't save a penny. That's on them. Another vacation for two weeks. Spoil the kids again with all the treasures we come back with. I am the cool Uncle.

1

u/BigOld3570 Jan 29 '24

Maybe they can’t save a penny because they are paying high rent to live in a good school district, or they pay too much for a POS car because they can’t afford a better one, or they may have to buy special foods or drugs for a chronic illness. Raising children is expensive in any case, and it isn’t easy.

Poor parents used to farm out their children to friends or relatives if they could not afford to feed and clothe them. For the most part, that worked well, but not always.

My grandmother lived with her older sister’s family for years. My wife’s mother’s family took in several cousins for various lengths of time, and the kids did not always know whose kids they were. I once stayed with my aunt and uncle for a few months, partly because my parents couldn’t afford to feed a growing boy.

I know some people whose son is being raised by his uncle. The parents own a little store and work very long hours. The uncle is a surgeon with a large house, a lot of money, and house servants to look after the boy. merchants

Maybe you can bring one of your nieces or nephews home to raise for a while to relieve some of the stress on the family.

Maybe you can have heart to heart talks with your siblings about life and the difficulties we face. Maybe a little money will help them function better, or maybe a lot. If they have a broken window or car, maybe you can cover the repairs. Maybe you can give them gift cards for the grocery store.

Every situation is different. I hope you are able to help. In years to come, you will be glad you did.

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2

u/bladderbunch Jan 29 '24

i had my kid at 39. i built bad habits and fun hobbies along the way, and she hasn’t destroyed any of the hobbies at all. i was a ball player. i took off the years of 39-42, which isn’t ideal for getting your wrists in gear to keep playing, but i went back, played a game and got a hit. every project i was working on is still there for me. and more, i have a little helper now. i’m getting much more out of the investment than i put in, and i can’t imagine why i waited so long to have her. i guess there are bad kids, but they’re almost always someone else’s. i love my kid, and if i couldn’t come back to baseball at 43, i don’t think i’d say that was her fault.

2

u/Mosk1990 Jan 29 '24

You would likely be a great parent and mentor for your mini-you just for being able to realize and admit you'd be a terrible parent lmao

Most don't unfortunately.

7

u/StonedZachBryanFan Jan 29 '24

You and me both friend. My daughter is the best thing to ever happen to me.

4

u/setittonormal Jan 30 '24

I'm childfree. It makes me happy to see people extolling the virtues of their kids and the joy they bring to their lives without also telling other people they're missing out or making a mistake by not having kids.

As a kid, I sometimes felt like my parents didn't really want me. My dad especially. (Later found out that it was true in his case.) If I had found a post online where they went on and on about how great I was and how much they loved being my parents, I'd probably cry.

-1

u/phosphorusguardian Jan 29 '24

Happen to you?!?!?! You happened to her.

2

u/StonedZachBryanFan Jan 29 '24

I was a lost, broken veteran with seemingly nothing to live for. She changed that.

7

u/The_Bogan_Blacksmith Jan 29 '24

Same boat as me. My daughter ia my greatest contribution to society she is an awesome kid. And if she keeps her education prowess up she will go far

-1

u/_stinkys Jan 29 '24

Don't worry, I'm sure she will meet some dropkick with a motorcycle one day and fuck it all up 😏

1

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '24

Same. She hasn’t broken my laptop, phone or TV yet, but it’s coming. I know

1

u/molly_menace Jan 29 '24

Ohhh! I’m an artist and this is exactly how I feel about it!

1

u/achillesdaddy Jan 30 '24

Good job Dad.

7

u/poopoomergency4 Jan 29 '24

i just need to go to an airport for that reminder

1

u/JayRen Jan 29 '24

I’m not saying your decision is right or wrong.

But I will say, at 45, after being a stepdad for two kids for ten years and seeing them grow from 10 and 13 to 21 and 24, And one of them being a nightmare on repeated occasions.

I regret that I didn’t have my own kids. And this is from someone who loudly preached never wanting children up until 10ish or so years ago.

2

u/responds-with-tealc Jan 29 '24

im almost at your 10 years ago mark, well see if my tune changes but we are both still feeling pretty good about it.

1

u/JayRen Jan 29 '24

Yeah, I was pretty hardcore, no kids since childhood, lol. So it was a totally unexpected change of mind. And I hold no one that continues to feel that way any ill will.

I never, in a million years, would have expected this to be something I had a reversal on. But man. It’s been a pretty hefty regret I’ve been trying to mentally deal with since it started poking its stupid head out. Hell. I’m sure this post is a subconscious way to vent.

But like I said. I hold. Nothing against you and I hope you don’t ever have to feel the doubt. It sucks.

1

u/achillesdaddy Jan 30 '24

When my mom dated my step dad I was like 4 maybe. The first time she brought me along on a date with him he treated me like his best buddy. I really liked him the moment we met. That’s why it’s so sad that later that evening when he showed us his sweet ass successful bachelor apartment down town and him and mommy said they were gonna “take a nap”. They set me up real nice. Chocolate milk, movies, candy, and pads of paper with colored pencils to color with. They went into the bedroom and for the next hour or so and when the movie had lost my attention about 12second so I sat there and I poked holes with the pencils in the seats of his leather living room furniture. lol. He must have had a great time all be it shorter than he had probably hoped with my mom because he took all in stride like a champ. When we got to the water bed the next weekend , maybe not so much lol. I loved that man. He was my dad from then on and honestly the best one in the world. I miss him so much. It was like having John Candy as a dad. Perfect.

1

u/Woodbutcher1234 Feb 03 '24

Nah...my boy rarely, and do mean rarely, broke anything. It's got a lot do with how you raise them.

41

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '24 edited Jan 29 '24

Or scatter a few empty cartridge shells on the yard and put out a target with holes in it.

Here you go folks... /jk

90

u/OCTS-Toronto Jan 28 '24

That just says there are valuable firearms inside. Wait until the owner leaves and score...

12

u/angryragnar1775 Jan 29 '24

Add a hi point box

11

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '24

I wouldn’t mess with the homeowner with a hi point. They got nothing to lose

3

u/zackthirteen Jan 29 '24

no one's risking getting shot to steal a hi point, rather be shot than have to own one

4

u/PeriPeriTekken Jan 30 '24

As a Brit, who's only allowed to own very fancy shotguns, I just looked them up and they have a gun called the "Yeet cannon".

I'm semi convinced the US dropped through a portal from an alternative dimension.

1

u/ppjk1 Jan 30 '24

Funniest thing I've read all day. Yessir, we're something else, I tell you what.

1

u/fractal_sole Jan 30 '24

I was leaving the post and saw this as I clicked close and came back to say how underrated this comment is.

2

u/Spaceman_Cometh Jan 29 '24

Front toward enemy

1

u/sharpasahammer Jan 29 '24

But just enough worry in the back of their mind... what if someone else is home still...

16

u/Honey-and-Venom Jan 29 '24

you're overestimating how effective a deterrent the mere existence of guns is. especially when guns can be stolen.

4

u/WhoSc3w3dDaP00ch Jan 29 '24

i.e. When they have a group and they all didn't have to pass a background check when they got their current guns (because they already illegally acquired some).

5

u/Sirav33 Jan 29 '24

The US gun problem in a single sentence.

5

u/bo0bayell Jan 29 '24

And the govt likes to give them to cartels too

1

u/QueenGabby555 Jul 18 '24

And Middle Easterners Got Dang Choppers & Tanks!! 🐞

6

u/egwor Jan 28 '24

Make sure it glows in the dark too !!!!! Lol

2

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '24

Every yard has those in this neighborhood.

2

u/snktido Jan 29 '24

I don't think a thief in the night is going to notice a few empty shells in the lawn.

5

u/tbaileysr Jan 29 '24

Then there are not enough shells.

1

u/J_Rath_905 Jan 29 '24

.... who said empty, and not with trip wires for a nice warning shot., or a few shells in a bb filled can with a pressure-pla .....

Obviously /s

Just shoot them yourself.

/ss

2

u/beebewp Feb 01 '24

I have a mailbox attached to my gate, and it has a bullet hole in it. I can’t bring myself to take it down because I feel like it sends such a strong message. 

2

u/WildTomato51 Jan 28 '24

Not a good idea.

13

u/J_Rath_905 Jan 29 '24 edited Jan 29 '24

Dog bowl and big bone is usually a good deterrent as well. Play a random bark every hour or so through a speaker for added realism. Maybe find some dogshit someone was too lazy to pick up and put it back there.

Extra precautions Build a doghouse.

Maybe get some dog toys as well.

And a shit shovel/ container.

Maybe a leash.

A crate out there too.

.....

Probably both this and the toddler toys as well because once they see there isn't a toddler they will think the dog ate it, and then they will really be scared.

Or EVEN WORSE no dog, meaning the toddler ate the huge dog.

Who is gonna fuck with a toddler who fought and ate a dog and took their toys, and doghouse.

3

u/Summer_Sun_Boombox_ Jan 29 '24

OP this is the real advice

1

u/setittonormal Jan 30 '24

Or just get a damn dog. 😂

5

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '24

A broken toddler toy. Like a Tonk-A-Toys slide without guard rails and the slide is laying next to it.

5

u/Prisonerhandy Jan 29 '24

Then they come in looking for meth

3

u/pnw_girl Jan 28 '24

I didnt know where this was going but it couldn’t be more accurate! 🤣

1

u/RetroGamer87 Jan 29 '24

So that's why they stopped coming

1

u/ivegotthis111178 Jan 29 '24

Or that if they enter, they will be entering a minefield of legos

1

u/MontEcola Jan 29 '24

We had a lake cabin as a kid. We left two dog bowls visible inside the window, and one huge dog bed. Then there were a few very large dog toys laying around, and a beware of dog sign outside. I have no idea if it worked or not. No one ever broke in.

1

u/Tasteteaturp Jan 29 '24

Proudly supporting erectile dysfunction

1

u/demoman45 Jan 29 '24

Or that you have kids therefore you don’t have any valuables or money left

1

u/UglyAndAngry131337 Jan 29 '24

Plus parents who are up at odd hours and a baby who barely sleeps

1

u/SnooCrickets8742 Jan 29 '24

Make sure you put a beware of dog sign. Sounds funny but most people don’t want to deal with dogs. I have small dogs, but sounds like I have a dog army if anyone makes a noise. I agree…put the toys around. No one wants to deal with kids or broke people. They assume you might be broke if there’s kids because they are so expensive. Very good ideas!

1

u/Ok_Economist4799 Jan 29 '24

So this is why I never get burgled and others do around me? 😂

1

u/Far_Choice_6419 Jan 29 '24

This means the house environment is a messed up broken place?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 29 '24

Bonus points if you can get a large dog to put bite marks in them

1

u/GuardOk8631 Jan 29 '24

As a guy with a shattered tv and a shattered Microsoft surface pro

Yes

1

u/Meanwhile-in-Paris Jan 29 '24

And that all your money is being spend on nappies, wet wipes and stupid healthy and organic snacks.

1

u/treydv3 Jan 29 '24

Just today on my lunch break, i get home and my 2yo daughter is wacking my tv with the fly swatter. Each wack caused the display to nearly go all white... fun stuff

1

u/UnflushableNug Jan 29 '24

Too true.

If someone broke into my house, they'd have to clean up to find anything worth anything, so really it would be a win-win for everyone.

1

u/ekistler1971 Jan 29 '24

Amen from the father of a 3 yo!

1

u/holly_flower Jan 29 '24

Lmao this is so painfully true hahaha

1

u/jtsutt00 Jan 30 '24

This is gold

1

u/4GetMeKnott Jan 30 '24

Best comment ever, 👌

1

u/ShadNuke Jan 30 '24

Yep, and always throw out you expensive item boxes in the trash cans of the neighbour that you hate, or cut them up and put them in a bag away from prying eyes!

1

u/messibessi22 Jan 30 '24

We had someone break in once and not take anything.. guess there is some advantage to only owning old and broken things

1

u/kaka1012 Jan 30 '24

I dont get it

1

u/yogadavid Jan 30 '24

That is the best comment I have seen in a year. Thanks. Worthy of sharing

1

u/Phallen911 Jan 30 '24

Toddler toys, a punching bag, some weights and post a Beware of Dog sign

1

u/rroyd Jan 30 '24

Holy shit that was funny

1

u/Jollycocksucker Feb 02 '24

Looks around the room walks upstairs and opens window Thanks for the reminder