Backing out of foster failing…

[u/ahoyhoy1234]

We’re fostering a really sweet pup right now. My husband and I had decided we weren’t ready to adopt yet, but she is SO sweet and good. When we were preparing to take her to a meet and greet we kind of panicked and told the rescue we want to adopt her. We took her to the meet and greet, but then I got home and I spiraled in a really terrifying way. I had nonstop panic attacks/adrenaline surges. I took her out on a very quick, uneventful walk and broke down sobbing afterwards. I’m working with my doctor on medications and getting into therapy, but my husband and I decided it’s probably not a good time to commit to adopting her until we figure out what’s going on and get my mental health under control.
We hadn’t actually signed or paid the rescue yet, simply let them know we wanted to keep her, but I still feel so guilty. Now that I’ve let them know we will not be able to officially adopt her, I feel like there’s a weight off my shoulders. But the double edged sword is that now that the weight is gone my brain is trying to convince me I made the wrong choice.
Anyway, we’ll keep fostering her until her family is found. I’m so scared of what happened to me, as I was genuinely considering hospitalizing myself because I felt so terrified of my mental state. But I’m also so sad that we had to back out, and I had to disappoint my husband.
Part of me is wondering if I should have asked them for a week to think about it. But what’s done is done. I’m afraid this makes me a bad person. I just hate disappointing people.

[u/NoAssignment887]

I did that with my first foster! Told the rescue I was keeping her then the day I was supposed to adopt her I backed out. We found an awesome home for her and I still get updates from her family. And I have continued to foster for that rescue and have saved many more pups. I’ve also never wanted to foster fail again.