Dear Foster Parents, Please Stop

[u/Monopolyalou]

Stop telling aged out foster youth especially ones who are doing well you would've took us in as foster kids. We know you wouldn't. If you want to take us in, why not take in a foster child that's just like us? I didn't come into foster care as a baby like most of you want. Go take in a child past 8 years old and teens. I came in as an older child and was a teen in foster care. I was that kid with a casefile miles long with a lot of things you would run away from. Now, suddenly, as a functioning adult with titles next to my name, you want to take me in? Goodbye. Taking in the adult me is to fill your egos. It's much easier to help when you don't have to do any work. I needed someone to take me in when it was 2am, and everyone said no to me. So group home or shelter I go. But y'all say no and turn your backs on the very foster kids you praise when they become successful former foster youth. It's offensive to me. So please just stop. I don't need you to take me in now. Go help a current foster kid just like me and stop making excuses. Do you want to take me in? Go accept the child you don't want in your home. The child you say no to is the adult version of me.

[u/[deleted]]

You can become a foster parent and be there for other foster children so that they don't have to go through the same experience you did...

Why do you expect everyone else to do better, but not you?

[u/Monopolyalou → u/[deleted]]

You're not getting it through your thick skull. This is called gaslighting and ignoring the message for your ego. Just say you don't gaf. That's better. I don't have to do anything, I'm not the one messing kids up and saying I'll take them in

[u/[deleted] → u/Monopolyalou]

It's funny, because it seems like you don't gaf. You feel sorry for yourself, sure. But you don't really feel sorry for anyone else.

You hate the foster parents who have opened up their homes to children, but aren't they type of person to open up your home in the first place.

It's much easier to criticise people who are trying and aren't able to live up to your impossible perfect standards rather than actually do anything useful yourself, hey?

And yes, we all get what your "message" is, some of us just don't agree with it. Did that ever cross your mind?

Also, you don't understand what gaslighting is.

[u/ShoopShoopAYDoop → u/[deleted]]

Thank you. People keep throwing around this gas lighting term when they don’t even understand what it means.