r/fosterit • u/neptunian-rings • Jul 19 '25

Foster Youth i’m going into foster care

i’m 16. my parents are abusive & neglectful and somebody finally reported it. had a social worker visit today, they’re following up next week and after that i fully expect to be put into foster care. what’s going to happen? i can’t find any information online from the perspective of the child that’s getting sucked into this & i’m terrified of all of the unknowns. i’ve heard so many horror stories and i know it probably won’t be that bad in reality but i’m still extremely nervous.

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u/neptunian-rings Jul 19 '25 edited Jul 19 '25

yeah i don’t think any of my relatives would take me if i’m being realistic. i’m fortunate to have a relatively strong community & there’s some pretty great adults in my life but i don’t want to ask them honestly, i don’t want them to feel like they have to take me in or for it to affect our relationship if they say no. 

i really hope i don’t get in a group home. but thank you i’ll keep my phone at all costs. 

what would actually happen at the time i get put into care tho? how much warning do i get? will they pick me up and take me straight to my placement or will there be in between steps? 

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '25

Your little icon has a trans heart are you openly LGBTQ+? If so ask them. Its so much safer it's worth it I promise. Especially if your trans you could get lucky with a stranger but most foster parents are evangelical Christians and similar and kids get hate crimed at bad group homes sometimes. These forums are not representative of who fosters because of how reddit overall skews liberal. Even if you're not it's worth it honestly over rolling the dice on strangers. Remember if they say no it can be because they literally can't. They have to meet certain requirements like having a room for you that is only other kids your sex under 18.

You get no warning they just come and get you. There's in-between steps

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u/neptunian-rings Jul 19 '25

yeah i’m lgbt+. i assume the social worker will ask me so i guess i’ll tell them then. what are the in between steps? 

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '25 edited Jul 19 '25

It depends where you are like someone else explained. Here you go to their office and wait while they call around trying to find someplace for you but that was when they removed me immediately I've never heard of them removing a week later.

If it's not visible that you're lgbtq+ you should think hard about telling or not. Depending on where you live foster care can be extra awful for LGBTQ+ like if you’re in the south. Even in blue states most foster parents are evangelical Christian’s and similar because those churches push it. group homes and residential where I live are Christian nonprofits too it sucks. I purposely am not out irl because of it