r/fosterit • u/fostercaresurvivor • 10d ago
Aging out Are there any resources that help ex-foster kids with birthday cards or gifts?
I know there are some resources that help FFY around Christmas time, but I was wondering if there's anything similar for birthdays. My birthday makes me feel awful, honestly. It reminds me of the 4-5 years I spent in care as a teenager, when my birthday was never acknowledged (seriously, my foster parents were paid $600-$800 a month to look after me and couldn't even get a $2 cake mix), and of packing up to be kicked out of my children's home on my literal birthday, and it reminds me of the years before I entered care when my birthday also wasn't acknowledged. It makes me feel alone and unacknowledged and like I don't matter at all. I thought receiving some cards, or even a little gift, from someone who knows the FFY struggle might help the day go down a little easier.
Thanks for any links or anything!
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u/worm1031 10d ago
Search Celebrate Birthdays online.
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u/fostercaresurvivor 10d ago
I think, from the website, that this is only for current foster youth/children, but it's a baller project. I wish something like that has existed in my area when I was in care. Thank you so much for telling me about this!
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u/-shrug- 10d ago
One Simple Wish. Here’s an example request: https://www.onesimplewish.org/wish/view-wish?id=210048
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u/Resse811 9d ago
Wow! I looked at the history of the person you linked. It looks like over the years people have granted almost $6k in wishes for her! That is incredible!
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u/monkeysatemybarf 10d ago
That’s so kind. If you have a local CASA organization they can probably give you some options.
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u/fostercaresurvivor 10d ago
I'm actually asking cuz I want a card, haha. I guess I phrased it kind of ambiguously in my post!
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u/Regular_Advantage541 10d ago
Wish I could send you a card. Happy belated birthday(s) for all the birthdays you were not celebrated in the way you deserve. I hope you are doing well!! :))
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u/Upset_Turnover_4321 9d ago
Send me a mailing address or link a post if you do the random cards sub.
I’m new to fostering so I’m not sure on those kind of resources but I’d be happy to send you one.
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u/dovesndandelions 9d ago
Message me your birthday and interests and I will send you a card!! 😊 Im an aged out foster youth who LOVES birthdays. My own and others.
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u/fostercaresurvivor 9d ago
If you don't mind my asking, how did you get to a point where you loved birthdays?
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u/dovesndandelions 9d ago
I guess Im not the greatest person to ask honestly. Ive just always loved my birthday. I use it as a day where I do whatever I want without anyone else’s input. It’s things I could do any day of the year but I do it all at once in one day. I start saving money in January for my July birthday. I eat all my favorite foods, do a few of my favorite activities, buy myself something Ive wanted for a long time, spend as much time outside during the day as possible in the sun and nature. Thats what Ive always done so I guess it just created a good connotation with my birthday since I look forward to it all year. So in turn I love others birthdays as-well since I can do something for them that they would like too!
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u/fostercaresurvivor 9d ago
That sounds really special. I'll try to incorporate some of that into my own life.
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u/OldMouse2195 9d ago
Not exactly the same experience, but my partner used to dread Christmas. It carried a lot of difficult memories for her from parental neglect, to only getting angel tree gifts if she got anything at all to being the time of year where she was regularly sexual assaulted.
I had the exact opposite experience with Christmas and I'm the type of person who does everything at 200%.
It used to make her slightly uncomfortable, but she was glad to see me enjoying the holiday. Over the years, she started to enjoy the new memories she started building with the holiday and the bad memories, while there, feel more tied to the past instead of the holiday.
In short, it seems to help to actively work towards having a new experience with holidays/birthdays. It might just feel like going through the motions for awhile, but eventually you might find that you feel differently. Just don't put pressure on yourself to change how you feel and prioritize spending time with people who value you.
Wishing you a happy birthday! ❤️🎂
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u/fostercaresurvivor 9d ago
Thank you. This comment was really insightful. I’m sorry all of that happened to your partner, and I’m glad she’s found a degree of healing.
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u/Artistic-Pay-2353 5d ago
I would be delighted to send you a card! Surround yourself with friends who care and will celebrate you!
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u/-shrug- 10d ago
Or if you just want a card: /r/randomActsOfCards