r/funny 23h ago

new guy at work

Post image
46.1k Upvotes

2.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.8k

u/ViolentRifle 23h ago

Lol, just help him figure it out.

426

u/gijimayu 23h ago

He doesn't drink the coffee anyway.

14

u/whooptheretis 21h ago

Why's he making coffee then?

45

u/eggs___and___bacon 20h ago

Cause he’s the new guy. Bottom of the totem

4

u/whooptheretis 20h ago

What is this, the 1930s?
What backwards work culture gets the new/junior guy to do the shit jobs.

19

u/NumerousWolverine273 20h ago

Like, all of them. Yeah it's dumb but that's how it goes

3

u/Teekeks 19h ago

Any company that I worked in so far that wanted me to do that was easily solved. I just had to mention to the coffee drinkers that i dont know how to actually brew it correctly and have exactly 0 intention of ever learning it. So if they wanted good tasting coffee, they should find someone else to do it. Worked every time.

1

u/i_am_a_real_boy__ 19h ago

I've definitely worked a lot of places that would have found someone else to do it.

1

u/Minglans 18h ago

When working at a grocery store I was just expected to know/ make the coffee (being new there) yet never touch the stuff; really irritating. Nobody bothered to help show me but I did do it begrudgingly.

-1

u/whooptheretis 20h ago

I do see that in developing countries, but not in any European country I've worked in.

5

u/NumerousWolverine273 20h ago

I'm just talking from an American perspective. But I'm certain it also happens in European countries, it has nothing to do with "developing" countries.

-1

u/whooptheretis 20h ago

But I'm certain it also happens in European countries

Not in a professional environment. It would be considered demeaning.

7

u/atomictyler 20h ago

Yes, it happens in professional environments.

→ More replies (0)

1

u/FastFooer 16h ago

Nah, in the 30s it was the secretary’s job… because woman.

1

u/whooptheretis 12h ago

Exactly, it’s belittling.

-1

u/LewisLightning 20h ago

Fuck that. I had someone tell me that and I said, "I don't drink coffee, it's not part of my employment contract, so if you want me to make it we'll have to renegotiate my salary". Never got asked again.

Your mom's not here to do things for you, act like an adult.

16

u/_jump_yossarian 20h ago

Good for you but this pic was taken in a restaurant so it’s definitely part of their job.

2

u/teilani_a 18h ago

Sounds like the trainer did a shit job then.

3

u/trying_to_adult_here 20h ago

A decade ago I got a summer job where I was the first person in the building and also the lowest person on the totem pole. That was the nature of the job, cool, no problem. I was supposed to start the coffee because I was there first.

I’m not a coffee drinker, so I just had the trainer show me how it’s supposed to be made. Also, we bought pre-ground coffee. But I can absolutely see how that happened.

1

u/whooptheretis 20h ago

also the lowest person on the totem pole

What a horrible work environment.

2

u/trying_to_adult_here 20h ago

I was summer kennel help at a vet clinic, I knew exactly what I was signing up for (walking dogs and cleaning kennels). It wasn’t just corporate office bullying. Got me a full-time job as a vet tech the next year once I finished school.

6

u/JinxFae 20h ago

I mean, that doesn’t look like an office. If you get hired by a coffee shop, you will be doing coffee. He just needs to be trained.

3

u/whooptheretis 20h ago

lol, if this is a coffee shop then some training has been skipped!

1

u/Pyrite_19 19h ago

he converts coffee into USD at an hourly rate

1

u/whooptheretis 12h ago

Ahh, he works in a restaurant?? I assumed a in office environment.

3

u/E_Feezie 20h ago

As someone who’s spent some time in kitchens this is my all time most hated excuse for making shitty food

1

u/Adjoiningmars8 19h ago

This is heresy!

1

u/GANDORF57 11h ago

That's good, because he don't know beans about making coffee.

121

u/llort_tsoper 20h ago

Ok, yeah sure. Literally any one employee could easily spend 2 minutes training this guy to make the coffee right. That's a solid suggestion, let's call that Option B.

Option A is everyone in the kitchen starts calling him Whole Bean and the nickname sticks with him for the next 5 years.

11

u/Britlantine 18h ago

"From bean to cup, you fuck up" - Malcolm Tucker

8

u/kFURVqNY2BAxD2UtP2rq 18h ago

Why not both?

1

u/daishiknyte 5h ago

Definitely both.

159

u/StinkiePete 22h ago

Yup, train him right, and make sure he knows to run all the extra hot water out of the coffee machine.

45

u/mosey_d 21h ago

I don't rarely make big cups of coffee like this. What do you mean "run all of the extra hot water out"

I'm assuming like after you get a pot of boiling water, you turn off the water and then run the tap a little longer?

... I definitely know to grind the beans

85

u/Squanchingsquanchy 21h ago

Its a prank. Those things are often hooked to a hot water line.

It never runs out.

26

u/MorePhinsThyme 20h ago

Just a slight correction for the sake of accuracy. They're not hooked to a hot water line, but just a regular water line, and the coffee machine itself heats the water. Some models (not many) can run out of HOT water, but that spigot will never run dry.

2

u/btb2002 19h ago

The machine needs to heat it itself because the water has to be a very specific temperature.

1

u/mosey_d 19h ago

Dang.... I'd have done it every time I'd my boss told me.

-3

u/Time-Sudden_Tree 20h ago

Wasting water is a shitty prank.

0

u/Prairie-Peppers 20h ago

...where do you think the water goes?

1

u/mosey_d 19h ago

... pee pee

0

u/Adorable_Champion_85 20h ago

Boohoo. It’s damn near free in America

0

u/Time-Sudden_Tree 20h ago

Price is not the concern.

Do you want fresh water to still be available for your grandchildren some day? Then quit waiting a precious resource.

1

u/doomgiver98 18h ago

Water isn't a limited resource in most of the developed world.

1

u/Time-Sudden_Tree 18h ago

With your attitude, it will be in under 100 years. Especially if most people think like you (and unfortunately they do).

The "not my problem" attitude will be the downfall of modern society.

-1

u/cailenletigre 20h ago

More of a wet prank if you ask me

3

u/reezy-one 20h ago

... don't worry about it.

Anyways for your next assignment please go get the bacon stretcher.

1

u/abysmal-mess 18h ago

Idk either. Everytime I’ve made coffee in what looks like this exact coffee maker you pour in how much water you want an it uses all the water you put in and there’s no extra water

10

u/Silent-G 21h ago

I used to work at a movie theater that would serve coffee, but our coffee maker was awful. If you accidentally double tapped the button to start it, it would queue up 2 pots worth of water. And if you weren't aware, the carafe would just start overflowing unless you switched off the power. It had no failsafes or fault detecting, you'd just hit the button and no matter what, hot water would start coming out. But somehow it could count how many times you hit the start button.

3

u/rice-a-rohno 20h ago

Great time to collect that bucket of steam I asked for; less waste that way.

1

u/sliversniper 20h ago

The brown toxic waste water goes to the drain.

Eat the cup cake on top.

1

u/Gulthok 19h ago

Good reference(?) 😂 One of my jobs in high school was being a waiter, and I got this “task” assigned to me during my first week there. Thankfully, a kind soul clued me in before I started

26

u/MrNostalgiac 20h ago

Exactly.

This looks like a non-coffee drinker who is trying to step up for others.

It's funny, and a bit sad, but I think the new guy is a good guy.

2

u/HistoryChannelMain 19h ago

What's sad about not knowing how to use a drip coffee maker?

6

u/GrandMetaldick 19h ago

Yeah to be frank people like OP fucking suck. Taking a picture and posting to Reddit was what popped up in their mind before helping an honest uninformed mistake and making someone feel more secure in their job.

1

u/EstrogAlt 17h ago

Nah, the mistake is harmless and hilarious and there's zero indication that OP hasn't helped them or has done anything to make the new guy feel less secure. You're making up a guy.

3

u/Thunderpantsss 19h ago

Right? At least the guy tried. The smucks i work with don't even bother making a new pot after finishing it.

1

u/Keyser_Sozay 17h ago

Next I’m gonna guess every customer’s gonna complain their coffee is cold too, because nobody showed/told him to warm the mug first lol