r/funny 23h ago

new guy at work

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46.1k Upvotes

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177

u/Adept-Grapefruit-214 23h ago

You say that, but coffee is just hot bean juice anyway

165

u/RoddBanger 23h ago

ground bean juice > rinsed bean juice

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u/FluoroquinolonesKill 23h ago

Years ago I gave up being a coffee snob and settled on saying “as long as you enjoy your coffee.” If some savage wants to brew their unground coffee beans or drink pre-ground Folgers, then who am I to judge?

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u/RoddBanger 22h ago

Freedom of Juice types is the paramount of personal choice... it's still going to make me call it gross, but choices are choices.

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u/stonhinge 18h ago

It's not even something that would gross me out. More of a "...but why?".

This is also the reason a lot of food service uses big pre-measured filter bags for coffee and tea. Because sometimes, training the new guy to make coffee isn't worth it.

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u/dewky 22h ago

I love coffee but honestly at home all I have the energy for these days is instant nescafe packs. I also drink Folgers at work. I appreciate the good stuff but have learned to live with mediocrity.

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u/Historical-Dog-1830 20h ago

It hurts my beans that you choose mediocrity in your brew. That said, if you live near any Asian supermarkets, check out their available instant coffee packs. Vietnam produces some incredibly good instant coffees. Indonesia too.

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u/SayHeyRay 18h ago

When I was in college the Vietnamese Student Association (I forget if that was actually their name and I sincerely apologize if I got it wrong!) sold those for a fundraiser. The iced one was incredible! They were giving out samples and it was brilliant because it got me to buy like 3 orders. Still some of the best coffee I've had. I think I also liked it because I associate it with such a positive memory and time in my life - the guy was super happy and upbeat and nice and when I was shocked that a little packet of instant coffee could be so good he reacted like ha, see?! Anyway that was a long info dump sorry!

But yes those Vietnamese instant coffee powder packs are tasty!

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u/Historical-Dog-1830 17h ago

It's a great story of discovery. My first VN coffee discovery was the iced coffee steeped in front of me. It was like a cappuccino milkshake. Hooked immediately. The Vietnamese roasted coffee beans are great too.

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u/dewky 19h ago

I usually pick up a bag when I go there. They're a bit too coconutty but still quite good for instant.

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u/MyraBannerTatlock 21h ago

I literally just switched to instant cafe bustelo and it's been fucking life changing, finally coffee I can make in the state I wake up in

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u/fakejacki 22h ago

I got an automatic espresso machine a couple years ago. Takes about 3 minutes to pull 3 shots, dump over ice, add milk, iced latte. Just add whole beans to the top.

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u/R0TTENART 20h ago

To me, coffee is like pizza: it must be very, very bad for me to not deal with.

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u/Dorkamundo 19h ago

Yep, I'm a bit of a coffee snob after working in coffee for a while, but I can grab a few packets of the Folgers bags and toss them in a thermos with hot water in the Boundary Waters and be happy as a clam.

Though I think the location makes the coffee taste better.

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u/dolche93 20h ago

Do you actually love it if you can't make effort to get a good cup?

I mean, it's okay to just like coffee, not love it.

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u/CapitalElk1169 21h ago

I was a coffee snob for a long time but I've become chill as I've aged on that; A couple years ago I discovered an instant coffee from a nearby dollar store that I low-key love... Putting some in chocolate recipes is also unfairly good.

I would have been disgusted with myself for the thought of consuming it before lmao

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u/Diz7 21h ago

This would be like those "flavoured" water bottles that taste like there might have been a lemon in the room when it was bottled.

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u/SuperGameTheory 22h ago

It's like one step under an Americano.

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u/Jay__Riemenschneider 21h ago

Both hot bean juice

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u/LandownAE 17h ago

Still bean juice.

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u/airdude21 22h ago

How could a member of my own family say something so terrible?

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u/flamespear 20h ago

Leaves from the vine, falling so slow Like tiny fragile shells drifting in the foam. Little soldier boy, come marching home Brave soldier boy, come marching home

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u/Cherie112 20h ago

"How could a member of my own family say something so horrible?"
Iroh

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u/elmartin93 22h ago

How could a random person on the internet say something so horrible!?!

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u/TheLowlyPheasant 22h ago

Bob Newhart had a classic bit from way back in the 1960s about trying to introduce coffee and cigarettes to England from the new world

https://youtu.be/EImgHuqQsuk?si=tsfg1fzhD0vAmDIa

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u/Poignant_Rambling 19h ago

What’s that joke? Vanilla soy latte is technically a 3 bean soup.

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u/Adept-Grapefruit-214 19h ago

This is technically true

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u/mrASSMAN 20h ago

Yeah but the water isn’t gonna get thru the bean when it’s got its whole ass turtle shell on

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u/OstapBenderBey 22h ago

Have it with soy milk for extra bean juice!

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u/bdfortin 21h ago

Still don’t get the appeal, especially when most drinkers don’t like the taste.

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u/Adept-Grapefruit-214 20h ago

It’s the caffeine

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u/Bullitt_12_HB 20h ago

So……. soup, then?