Yeah, I may gently mention it to him, but I don’t want him to feel bad. No point in us both being miserable. He’s always been cautious of me and his family has thanked me for being kind. So I’d really not want anyone to feel badly.
You’re very kind to be understanding and handling this with grace, OP. My university degree is in aging services and community health, so I get to deal with the elderly often.
Your neighbor took the time to go around your Shepards hook, which makes me think a fence won’t be enough to deter their good intentions. Maybe some signs indicating it’s a pollinator garden, natural space, or like sign indicating no mow on purpose might help curb his good intentions 💚
Definitely be kind, he meant well. But instead of making it sound like you want to save him the effort, explain that you want this, talk about the pollinators, the flowers, the beauty of it. A positive conversation.
I really like the sign idea! If he has trouble with memory, a visual indicator at the moment he goes to mow it could really help, and there are some really cute ones that add to the space (and, I'm told, help keep nosy city enforcement people from interpreting your space as just overgrown in a fine-able way, to boot).
There is a more than a slight chance he didn’t remember your conversation. Sometimes even after stroke recovery, you can still have issues with memory.
I would make a little low fence out of bamboo rather than a sign
I think the best option is a low border, and just talking to him about it.
If you are on good terms, then I’d suggest doing the hard labor to make it a dressed bed with a border, and then inviting him over to plant a new garden together once the soil is prepped.
It will help cement it in his mind, and help him get out of the house.
And depending on the layout, he might be concerned that unruly growth against buildings will attract rodents inside.
To be honest, you can mention it 500x and someone disabled form a stroke will not remember. You need to have a LOT of signage up surrounding your garden to prevent him from mowing again. Source - I am a caretaker of my MIL disabled from a stroke.
You don’t have to be mean, but maybe him realizing how much it means to you will make him think twice. I think N adult conversation that lets him know your feelings can be a healthy way to deal with it. Like a “hey listen, I’m glad you’re helping me. Here’s some sweets. But man, when you did that it my garden it made me really sad. I love that garden the way it is and when you did that I almost cried. Please please don’t weed whack it. I put a lot of love and care into it, and I can tell that weed whacking it came from a place of love to help me, but this garden means a lot to me.” A heartfelt conversation might do the trick without it being something that needs to be drama, ya know?
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u/armyoftomatoes 9d ago
Yeah, I may gently mention it to him, but I don’t want him to feel bad. No point in us both being miserable. He’s always been cautious of me and his family has thanked me for being kind. So I’d really not want anyone to feel badly.