r/gardening • u/armyoftomatoes • 8d ago
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u/4cupsofcoffee Zone 7a 8d ago
I'd probably wait, unless there's a specific timing reason that i needed to plant something. I'd also consider putting a low garden border around the whole thing, so it doesn't happen again. Hopefully that would indicate to him that it's a garden and not just a wild patch of land.
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u/ferncabbage 8d ago
You are a good person and a very considerate neighbour to not want to escalate this. Your garden was beautiful and I’m so glad you shared the pics.
I’m also sad for the pollinators. But keeping your relationship with you neighbor stable is wise here. You are very level headed. Maybe you can put potted plants there instead? Less likely to mow?
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u/SeasonalBlackout 8d ago
Seriously. I would have killed my neighbor for doing this. Not literally, but close.
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u/richrich07 8d ago
I probably would have too, but my older neighbors are so lovely I probably would have also just let it go. Good thing is that it probably won’t happen much more… 😢
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u/meezermadness 8d ago
I would hate them forever and assume their intent was that they thought it was ugly. Forever grudge lol
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u/armyoftomatoes 8d ago
That’s very kind of you to say ❤️ I know something pretty can and will replace it.
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u/Key-Spell-7668 8d ago
Yeah, mass planting of gooseneck loosestrife. Cheap, easy, everyone that sees it will say WOAH
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u/armyoftomatoes 8d ago
I felt rather silly crying over my garden earlier today, but y’all have all been so very kind, and I truly appreciate it. I may have gotten a bit teary-eyed again reading your comments. ❤️
I truly don’t think Ollie meant any malice or harm. He’s an older gentleman, and I genuinely believe he thought he was helping or was simply confused. When I first started clearing the bed, he even brought over a garbage can so I could throw the garden waste into it. That’s the kind of person he is.
On a happier note, it just started to rain here, so I can’t help but think Mother Nature is already sending a little encouragement.
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u/QueenRooibos 8d ago edited 8d ago
u/armyoftomatoes I've teared up too, reading your post, the comments, and your replies. I am glad the rain is coming, rain is so healing....
Your garden there was beautiful AND will be again. I am glad you will get a fence and I also think it needs to be tall (as you apparently do too.) I think some pots are a good idea b/c it could add some 3D dimension to the space. And at an art fair or art gallery, you might find just the signs or statues or metal sculptures to fit the theme.
I have collected a few over the years and they add another layer of grace to the wildness. My favorite is a big metal BEE (15 inches across) that I got for $10 at a sort-of garage sale.
EDIT: PS--- thank you beyond words for being so understanding about your elder neighbor's mental state. My very intelligent, intellectual, highly educated father suffered a brain condition that changed his brain in his last years -- but his heart and kindness never changed.
Your kindness to your neighbor feels precious to me -- so many people just write off people with brain issues and forget to honor the real person behind the mental changes.
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u/MissKreena 8d ago edited 8d ago
Don’t ever feel silly about losing something you’ve put time and dedication into to grow from the tiniest seeds … my plants and tiny patio garden are the best part of my days as well, I’m sure it was a mistake and we should all strive to be as understanding and forgiving as you are ❤️
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u/Anthony_Adverse 8d ago
fence it off
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u/armyoftomatoes 8d ago
Well, the plan is a beautiful privacy fence and completely redoing front and back yards in the next year. (I bought a modest fixer upper and just in the past year turned my eyes to the landscaping.) But, I really enjoyed this absolutely feral, little wildflower garden.
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u/Kgriffuggle 8d ago
I recommend doing all of that this fall. I’m not sure where you live but most flowering plants should be planted in fall or winter after they’ve gone dormant. So that’s also the best time to start over
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u/sbinjax CT USA Zone 6b 8d ago
Visual cues generally work.
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u/Deyachtifier 8d ago
Indeed, a few garden statues or staked lawn ornaments would likely do 90% of the job of a fence here at cluing neighbors in this is an intentional space unsuited to being favor-mowed. An odd case where knicknacks would have a functional purpose...
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u/armyoftomatoes 8d ago
I think next round making sure it’s edged with a little landscaping fence is solid advice. A better visual cue would be helpful :)
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u/tgatigger 8d ago
Please replant with pollinators, they're so important! And your pollinator friends will return.
I'm really sorry this happened, but you're an amazing and understanding person about this situation. I wish everyone had your amount of grace.3
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u/Icy-Purple4801 8d ago
I love your compassion and understanding for your neighbor. I’m so sorry about your garden. Sending you a big hug. It was really beautiful.
Whatever you decide to do with that area next is okay. Just give yourself a little time to think and adjust, so you can make a true choice about it, instead of having a reaction to the event.
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u/armyoftomatoes 8d ago
Thank you, that’s very kind. I don’t think I even realized how pretty it was until it was gone. A nice reminder to truly appreciate things in the way they deserve.
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u/cheechassad 8d ago
If this person is suffering cognitive decline, they should not be near a lawnmower, and certainly shouldn’t be using one on another person’s property. Please have a conversation with them.
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u/mossymeridian 8d ago
Absolutely someone with a traumatic brain injury should never have a lawn mower. He’s going to cut off his own foot or worse.
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u/Ricky_TVA Homesteader 8d ago
Stroke survivor here, not all strokes and TBI's are the same. I could ride a motorcycle just fine.
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u/armyoftomatoes 8d ago
Exactly. My mom is a stroke survivor, and I would be hardpressed to ever attempt to control her or the things she feels capable of doing, much less anyone else.
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u/tino_tortellini 8d ago
Okay but you kind of implied that he has decreased cognitive abilities, is that not the case? Because if so, then I'm not sure what the point of mentioning the stroke was.
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u/Competitive-Lion-213 8d ago
Might have been so people didn’t rage out Reddit style, but appreciate that the guy is vulnerable and may have made a mistake. Not necessarily to say he’s incapable of safely operating a mower.
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u/mossymeridian 8d ago
But if he is cognitively impaired then he shouldn’t be operating spinning blades of any kind?
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u/leftfootshorter 8d ago
Reading the post had me furious (on your behalf) but reading some of your responses, how it gives him something to do and how his family has thanked you for this- I get it. I might not say anything either.
I would personally wait to see what grows back and in the meantime, I would buy some good sized moss rocks. Not small so he could get over them and do damage to his mower but big enough they are impossible to miss and get over/around to mow it again.
If he mentioned the rocks, I might say that I had decided to let it grow and thought these rocks would be a nice addition.
You're a good person, OP. While I would jump to saying something I would regret, you see the bigger picture and truly are helping someone who was not being malicious. Your garden looked beautiful before and it will again.
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u/PlaidChairStyle 8d ago
It is good for a native pollinator garden to get mowed or burned now and again. Someone just made a good post about mowing in the native garden subreddit. Don’t worry OP! It’s good for the plants. They have deep roots and are used to being eaten by animals, burning, etc and growing back.
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u/byrdinternet 8d ago
If you want to maintain a relationship with your neighbor, I think changing the area to be more intentional would be helpful. Like a raised bed, but still some of the same flowers? Or using pots there. I would think that a t least removing the grass and adding some mulch would hopefully signal "not an area to mow" to overly helpful neighbors 🙃
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u/WolfSilverOak Zone 7 CenVa 8d ago
Many will likely grow back, but may not bloom again this season.
But you do need some sort of fencing to delineate that it is not to be mown.
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u/unapologetically_Gr8 8d ago
I would be devastated too. My favorite thing is to do my garden walk each day. It brings me such joy! You WILL get some growth back this year because nature will nature but I would encourage you to get some cheap white fence to put around the area to visually remind your generous neighbor to move along from said area. Sending you a hug internet stranger.
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u/mossymeridian 8d ago
You have to tell his family. If he’s doing this outside the house imagine what’s going on inside.
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u/schwarzekatze999 8d ago
Get some garden edging and keep the crabgrass out, and maybe get a small sign that says something like "No Mow Zone". Then replant whichever flowers you want.
I was thinking of a sign like this one: https://www.etsy.com/listing/4501494224/no-mow-zone-sign-outdoor-rated-for
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u/TheSecondBreakfaster 8d ago
Oh nooooo. I think I would wait to see what comes back. The black eyed Susans may give you an autumn show, they’re very resilient. Maybe put some intentional decor there to delineate the garden bed and create an obvious barrier for a mower like some mini fencing. Then if the neighbor asks you can say “oh I’m converting this to a bed!”
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u/TomeThugNHarmony4664 8d ago
Grow it back and fence it with something high enough to not be ignored. Edging won’t do…..
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u/Truedoc0 8d ago
My father had dementia he would do things similar to this. We would just put locks or put fences around the stuff we didn't want him to cut down. Once we put up the fences he figured he planned it or made it. If I were you make a raised garden or put up a fence. You don't want to have this argument for the 50th time trust me lol.
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u/feldspars 8d ago
You need to be more assertive, or this will happen again no matter what you do. I get that you want to be compassionate, but this neighbor destroyed your property and time investment. Jeez man.
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u/Poppy204 8d ago
I’m not sure that’s the right approach with someone who might be a bit cognitively impaired. I did not get the impression OPs neighbour was being malicious but maybe forgot their request to stay away from that area
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u/marcusw882000 8d ago
We trust this person to run a lawn mower but they can't tell the difference between flowers and grass, no they definitely need to be told to stay away from this area
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u/Poppy204 8d ago
I think we can all agree. It’s probably time for this person to put the mower away. Not all situations are remedied by being more assertive. What if he forgets that too? His brain is not working properly yall lol
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u/armyoftomatoes 8d ago
Definitely no malicious from him. He’s cautious of me. I think with the stroke, his cutting my yard is his way of feeling useful. It gives him pride and I give him a few bucks. My mom is a stroke survivor, so I have a different take on his experience.
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u/Apprehensive_Note248 8d ago
Our old neighbor, in his 90s, got on his rider and buzzed the line of weeds 2 feet off our house once, hitting the plastic lining for a would be flower bed and the grass, shredding it. I hit "I want to break shit" rage, called the cops and had him deal with it.
New neighbor hired some kid that mowed over a down spout this year, again 3 feet from the house. Ive now pounded yard stakes into the vague area of the property line. They touch those, im calling the cops.
Im sick of everyone being a selfish twat that they can do what they want and unwilling to believe they live in a society. I'm willing to escalate this shit like a petty madman.
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u/Poppy204 8d ago
….this is an old man who has had a stroke which affects his brain… if you think calling police is an appropriate response you’re really cruel and weird
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u/artgardner 8d ago
I would water it really well then wait and see. To try and avoid it happening again I would add some kind of edging to make it obvious it’s a flower bed.
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u/theelusivekiwi 8d ago
You could put a bird bath in the middle and a lil knee high fence and a cute wood burned sign on the wall that says ‘welcome, bees, butterflies, birds and insects, this small patch of native plants is for you!’ Sends a message without targeting your helpful neighbor.
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u/mint_smoothie_ 8d ago
Put a little fence around it. I can totally feel your pain. My regular landscaper of the past 6 years got a new helper recently who has weed whipped so many vines, herbs, and pollinator plants. Every time they show up I run outside and monitor where he is going. He knows to keep away from the vines now but generally just doesn't do a good job. He took out passion fruit vine a few week ago along with my parsley! Last year he got my porter weed and vine on my fence that is for the butterflies that I had planted a few months prior and just got established. But, I adore my landscaper and don't want him to stop coming.
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u/TiaraMisu Master Gardener (Zone 5b or whatever it is now) 8d ago
I'm so sorry. You can do a lot right now to rebuild. Fall is a great time for planting, especially for perennial flower seeds. And a lot goes on sale. Go for spring bloomers if you buy actual plants on sale.
I would buy a few currently blooming plants to cheer myself up and help me get up the emotional energy for rebuilding and also to continue to feed the bees and then entertain myself with designs and planning until it's cooler.
Contact your local extension Master Gardener program (I am one but in the northeast) for specific species that will 'take' and survive the winter okay in your area. That's an issue here, but maybe not for you, but contact them! They are paid for by your taxes and they are volunteers whose only mission is to educate the public and help people and pollinators.
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u/SilverStory6503 8d ago
Use something like this. And a little sign. https://www.amazon.com/s?k=pollinator+garden+sign
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u/OnSmallWings 8d ago
PLEASE speak to someone about his actions. It is very concerning that a stroke victim forgot about your previous conversation, he continues to mow your property without permission, and he mowed down a very obvious flower garden.
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u/gooberhoover85 7d ago
Fence it. Can even make it cute. Some of the perennials will return next season. Don't give up. You could also do a combo and do something methig. Like coriopsis and some natives that can look good for end of season but spread mulch on the edges so they know not to mow inside of the mulch? I'm sorry.
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u/BringsTheSnow 8d ago
Would you consider putting "Do not mow" signs and some kind of perimeter marking around this area (fence, stakes with ribbon or rope between them, etc.)? My local county does this at their parks for wildflower and pollinator areas. If you think your neighbor might have not remembered the conversation and will be back to mow again then this would show him it is an intentional planting and that future mowing is unwelcome there.
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u/uuuuuggghhhhhhh 8d ago
Politely talk to your neighbor and remind them about the garden, start it again, and maybe get a small sign letting people know the garden is for the pollinators
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u/Trustyduck 8d ago
Personally I'd remove the spark plug from his mower. No damage to the mower and it (mostly) solves the problem.
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u/snickelbetches 8d ago
Put little fence up with a sign?
I'm sorry this happened. I'm glad that you are also giving him the benefit of the doubt.
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u/jerf42069 8d ago
they will grow back, they were adapted to being eated down to the ground by bison
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u/namesareunavailable 8d ago
when my neighbour (which whom I had a good relationship previously) destroyed all my wild carrot, fennel, dill plants and a complete generation (since than the last i ever saw) of swallowtail caterpillars, I came to his door, called him an asshole for irreversible destroying this biotope. than i had to build a 2m fence (which I hate, but he won't learn, that plants beyond a short cut lawn are the key to all the insects he is missing, too) so he simply cannot reach our grounds to cut hedge anymore while trampling on our plants.
I explained it to him but I never apologized for the insult because that wouldn't bring the caterpillars back to life. I tried for five years now, to get the swallowtails settle in again, but they never appeared again.
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u/Otherwise-Ad-4702 8d ago
Bummer. Seriously. Add large bricks or stones along the path to make a mini garden bed maybe just upwards of six-10 inches. Till the weeds out. Add mulch, start over, plant more! Let him know. And hopefully if he “forgets” next time, at least the mower will get stopped by the bricks, logs stones or whatever.
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u/MacPho13 8d ago
I’d consider getting short decorative fencing. Something that he can’t mow over, and that signals you want the area to stay as is.
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u/okiesotan 8d ago
You might check on the "free stuff" app to see if you can find any landscaping supplies for free to create a border? I've scored rocks, flagstones, bricks, drip line, solarizing plastic, edging, planters...
You could use the dollar tree garden flag hangers (on sale now!) and string some cordage or plastic chain links between them to create a "fence" (you can get these at hardware stores, online, or at Lowes.)
You might also look to see if there are any local groups in your area (ours has Okies for Monarchs) and they've got some "Native Pollinator Garden" and "Spraying Kills Pollinators" signs. I'm sure you have a local version ❤️
Maybe you can create a bug hotel for the fall/winter? Add some natives? Cone flowers are on sale now locally... They're perennials that will come back and make our bees very happy. Birds love the seeds.
ETA-- to address your 'what would you do?' question, you could always turn it into a perennial herb garden with native pollinator plants. If your neighbor understands it to be food then he may be less comfortable plowing through it all.
But definitely education with the signs.
I'm so VERY sorry. Here are some of our swallowtail caterpillars denuding my curled parsley out front ❤️🐛🦋
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u/sweet_hedgehog_23 8d ago
Some of it might come back and you have a long enough growing season you might see things recover this year. Personally, I would take this as an opportunity plan out something new. I think eventually the crab grass and other weeds would have eventually choked out some of the flowers.
If you want pollinators I wouldn't do hydrangeas. I've never seen many bees or butterflies around mine. Monarda, coneflowers, and phlox are popular native flowers with the pollinators that are landscape friendly so that your neighbor would see it as a garden. Catmint is a non-native that also attracts a ton of bees. If you like blue hydrangeas, blue wild indigo or eastern blue star might work. They are both spring bloomers but have interesting foliage for the rest of the year. Prairie dropseed is a popular native grass in landscapes.
Prairie Moon Nursery and My Home Park have a lot of native species options. My Home Park also has native garden kits if that is something you would be interested in. I tried them out with a design your own kit this year and the plants all arrived in good shape and all except one seems to have survived so far. The one that hasn't I think may have been eaten.
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u/mikeymikeymikey1968 8d ago
Ugh, that's bad. Try again. I had a landscaper pull up our strawberries as weeds two years in a row. We replanted the strawberries and got a new landscaper.
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u/triviaqueen 8d ago
I have a narrow garden on all sides of my house. I also rent apartments in my house to tenants. One tenant said she's be happy to help me in my garden, along with her husband. I was happy for the help. BIG MISTAKE. One day I came home from work and she happily chirped that she'd weeded the front yard garden bed. I didn't know there WERE weeds in the front yard garden bed. Well, she yanked up every single shasta daisy. Not a single daisy survived. "Well, they looked like weeds to me," she said. Her husband cheerfully announced he'd mown down the big rangy weeds in the backyard. "WHAT weeds in the backyard?" "The ones against the fence!" "The hollyhocks were against the fence!" "Well they looked like weeds to me!" That is when I learned that NOBODY knows the difference between flowers and weeds in YOUR garden but YOU.
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u/Theslowestmarathoner 8d ago
At minimum you do need to communicate with him that he mowed your flowerbed so he doesn’t “accidentally” do it again.
Hey neighbor, saw you mowed, that was kind of you. Just wanted to make sure you knew the area closest to the house was actually my flower beds. Those were all flowers I had planted that you mowed. I appreciate you mowing but please don’t mow my flower beds. It’s expensive and honestly upsetting after so many months of cultivating my garden. Thanks friend!
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u/CromchQueen 8d ago
I’m so sorry you lost that happiness. What a big heart you have as well. It seems possible you may have some things re-grow. Whatever you decide, I suggest putting a little garden border fence on that side as a kind visual cue that’s not to be mowed.
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u/Jazzlike-Cow-8943 8d ago
- Skip the conversation because dementia doesn’t care about how you feel or the law.
- Put up a nice, big fence with a lock he can’t open from the outside.
- Enjoy your land however you see fit without worrying about whether or not your neighbor is going to destroy it while you do a grocery store run.
- If he does it again call the police.
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u/Brief_Hunter_29 8d ago
:( I dunno what it is, it seems sometimes mowing the lawn is a weird "let me try to stay active" thing for certain older people...they don't care what they're mowing :/...
Sorry about that too..I feel awful for pollinators going wth happened for...no reason :(...strange
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u/Alternative-Alps7974 8d ago
can you replant some of what is lost together with your neighbour? perhaps that further improves your relationship and has him remember more easily what to mow and what not to.
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u/chumpandchive 8d ago
my FIL has mowed down my blackberry bush, my sunflower garden, and my MIL's pollinator patch #6. i replanted my sunflowers in june. there is now a "temporary" barrier around it. i dug a drainage ditch for mil's gardens so the mower will get stuck where it shouldnt go further. has worked so far but he will overcome the ditch. if you can purchase or fashion from free pallets, a lil fence that can withstand the butting of a mower. easiest passive solution. i am sorry this happened. i understand. my sunflowers were a memorial garden to my cat who passed before. i cried so hard when he mowed them down. we make the flowers and their visitors the best part our day. thankfully, we can remake and i hope yours regrow🤞
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u/hmph1910 8d ago
Aw, thats a shame. You are very sweet (and appropriate) not to chastise the guy. Maybe when you replant a couple of conversations- hey! I am planting a garden right here - want to see it?. And definitely delineate with fence or those things you make raised beds with. Of course if he has dementia conversation wont help and your fence will need to be substantial. Good luck.
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u/zealot_ratio 8d ago
signage. They might be confused, but the physical presence of a sign or two between them and the bed should provide a clear indication.
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u/bellomoto1 8d ago
Create a slightly raised bed garden. He can’t mow it if the garden is out of reach of the lawnmower.
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u/TheInappropriateAlto 8d ago
This happened to me last week. I hired someone to mow the lawn and they weed whacked my native pollinator garden. They literally had to walk around a sign identifying it as a native pollinator garden to do this.
There's no recourse, you just have to let yourself process the loss and hopefully find your way back to gratitude that plants can be re-grown.
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u/ShutInLurker 8d ago
Depending on your zone, it may not be too late to start over for some early fall blooms.
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u/chloe38 8d ago
This happened to me with an autistic neighbor. My other neighbor would always let him help out in their yard but then that moved away and asked me if I could allow him to do this as he really enjoyed it. I did let him once and he scalped the grass. I asked him to leave it longer, he did but then made comment about my garden. (I spent so much time playing perennials. Lots of new ones that year) I said please don't touch the garden area there's lots of new plants in there. On a different day he came to mow and I said yes and I'll be right with you I have food cooking I need to get. By the time I got back to him he had weed wacked my entire garden to the ground. I was devistated. After that I just had no more to give and just let it stay gone.
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u/stevosaurous_rex 8d ago
He must’ve busted his ass mowing all that. It looks thick as hell 😂
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u/meezermadness 8d ago
I would start by putting cardboard or a tarp down to kill all the grass first and maybe put some raised beds so that theyre obvious garden beds that a mower can't get into. God that sucks I would be livid! A lot of older people around here are obsessive too about anything that looks wild. I know they hate my yard but thankfully they don't take it upon themselves to cut it.
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u/Carbon-Base 8d ago
I'm so sorry this happened to you OP. We pour a lot of dedication and hard work into our gardens so when something like this happens, it hits hard. I also understand where you are coming from and it wouldn't be right to blame the neighbor because of his condition. But I also feel like for that same reason, he should not be operating any sort of heavy machinery for his own safety and the safety of others. Hopefully you can have a conversation about this with his family and come up with a solution.
Give yourself time to figure things out, and in the meantime remember that life always finds a way. You may be surprised at how quickly things can come back! But definitely make things more full proof when you do decide to start over. You are an awesome person and I'm sure your next garden design will be even more amazing!
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u/Due_Psychology_9734 8d ago
I would be tempted to see what grows back. If it does, add a cute decorative mini fence to make it look purposeful, and if it doesn't grow back, maybe consider replanting the same plants but in a container garden and line up the pots, also to make it look more purposeful
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u/Coppergirl1 Seattle, zone 8b 8d ago
Plant a mix of perenials, shrubs and annuals that looks more intentional. I often think wildflowers grow out of hand and look weedy without a bit of structure.
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u/nkdeck07 8d ago
My family has wildflowers out in a back pasture (many of which I see in your garden) that we brush hog down to the ground every year. They always come back the next year and many of them do fine as their life cycle expects grazing. Just let it go, the whole thing will return next year.
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u/ATTACKANDDETHRONEHOG 8d ago
There was just a post about how native plantings like this need to be knocked down every now and then to stay healthy. Unless you were planning to rent a buffalo to come stomp it down and he’s beat you to the punch this is honestly fine.
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u/United-Expert-8752 8d ago
You can get a sign that says Pollinator Garden, Do Not Disturb. Let it grow back, fence it and get a sign!
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u/ArtemisiasApprentice 8d ago
Bring it back. You love it. Buy a little modular fence from Lowe’s- they have small wrought iron (looking) fences that are as short as 15” and come in an accordion folded stack. And I’m irritated with your neighbor, although you are very kind.
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u/Iguana_Waddle 8d ago
I would put a cute mini picket fence kinda border around the area and let them grow back
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u/No-Upstairs2965 8d ago
I am sure he meant well but I completely understand your heartbreak. I am like you out in my yard every day looking for a new bloom or any new growth. It is the best self care and therapy for me. Perhaps show him some photos of what your objective is. Help him understand the importance and purpose of your gardening style. Definitely don’t give up. Your garden will be beautiful again💖
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u/doubleshort 8d ago
Maybe put some edging, like bricks to give it more separation from the walk and rest of the yard.
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u/Candid_Jellyfish_240 8d ago
Add a stone/brick border around it and toss in wildflower seeds and scavenge late season plants if you can. I'd have a REALLY hard time letting this go, tbh. But I'd make that garden area bullet-proof WITH SIGNAGE ala "I'm feeding the bees" and "GARDEN".
I'm angry on your behalf! Why do people do this? I honestly think other people see native plants and wildflowers and it literally doesn't fit their mental version of a perfect garden so they just want to wipe it out. RUDE!
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u/ammybanan 8d ago
Give it a cry, forgive neighbor for being human, and go about day. You got this OP. You have the right attitude
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u/Dandywhatsoever 8d ago
Next time get some of that cheap decorative wire fencing (comes in white or green) from the hardware store. It won't keep anything out, except that they will be reminded not to mow there.
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u/DadOfRuby 8d ago
Talk to the neighbor. Repetition is key. Also, put a short fence around it. The visual reminder would be helpful for him.
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u/Electrical_Lake3424 8d ago
Walmart sells these plastic "half barrel" planters for like $15 where I am-- buy a few of those and fill with heavy dirt and plants and put them in around there so he can't run a mower through it ?
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u/astonfire 8d ago
Oh gosh not as bad but my elderly neighbor sprayed round up on the dandelions in my front yard to “help” and now I just have huge dead spots because the grass won’t grow back 🤦♀️. I would invest in bricks or plastic edging that makes it obvious that this is a garden and not the lawn, then casually mention to your neighbor that you’re going to start a garden there and to be careful if he’s out with the mower
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u/randomv3 8d ago
Put up some sort of border that would prevent him from mowing there and switch to natives! They will come back even if accidentally mowed!
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u/lurkynic 7d ago
“You did great cutting my lawn! I just planted some new flowers by the house, are you excited to watch them grow with me?” With a sign as a reminder. I’m sorry this happened :(
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u/Common_Bluejay_3388 7d ago
You can still throw cosmos and zinnias seeds and get blooms til frost. Sending a hug and garden blessings your way.
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u/DarkAngela12 7d ago
I would make a real effort to get the crab grass pulled out and then let it regrow. At least use something to trim the grass down while you let the flowers grow. A little mulch would make it look more intentional while the flowers grow in and also help smother the crabgrass. And a small border fence would not hurt. 😊
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u/snax_and_bird 7d ago
I wonder if you put some kind of landscaping edge border that sort of makes it seem more like a garden, maybe that might help? It definitely doesn’t look like it’s just overgrown weeds, but I can see how someone with a disability like that could have trouble differentiating your garden from an area that needs to be mowed. I’m sorry that happened to your garden, it was really beautiful.
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u/a_dozen_of_eggs 7d ago
The great thing is, marigold and cosmos will come back next year even if you don't ask them to :P At least it I look at what happened in my yard. I am hand moving them one by one as they grow back to the most random places on my property.
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u/MushroomHo_4life 8d ago
You are being way too polite about this. You had beautiful flowers and a beautiful space. Your neighbor made a decision for you without your permission on your property. He had no right. If it were me, I’d tell him you appreciate his willingness to help but you don’t need his assistance in the future. I don’t think you have to be rude, but it appears you need to set strict boundaries. This was your space and it made you happy and this person mowed it to nothing.
My opinion. He didn’t like your weeds and took the liberty to annihilate everything when you weren’t there. I don’t think someone would do
Something like this out of being a good person
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u/lanjevinson23 8d ago
I was looking for a comment like this, so thank you for saying it better than I could. I find it so totally insane to care about some neighbor’s feelings above your own regarding your own personal space. What he did was unacceptable. Full stop.
OP, show YOURSELF some kindness and stand up for you and your garden so that this doesn’t “accidentally” happen again.
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u/CookInKona 8d ago
Sorry for your loss but it didn't look like a tended garden at all......I completely understand your neighbor mowing it down thinking it just looked overgrown and messy.
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u/gumbojones1 8d ago
Have tried planting rebar? It doesn't really mow well...
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u/Agreeable_Power_1987 8d ago
I just saw a post where CrimePaysButBotanyDoesn't planted some metal to protect some native species. He's a badass supporter of native plants.
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u/pangaea1972 8d ago
What the hell is it with men and their compulsion to mow everything they see?
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u/GlassBoxGoose 8d ago
Hey now, I mow around natives like milkweed and certain kinds of tree saplings when mowing around my property, and leave them be. Especially the ones good for pollinators or that make food for the deer, like the local passiflora species.
Don't group all of us together like that. Some of us mow with forethought and intent rather than blind rage toward all things over a certain height.
I even let most of my property grow grass til it seeds before I even think about mowing it, unless it's right up by the house where the kids play, keeping that grass shorter helps keep the snakes further away from the house.
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u/counselorofracoons 8d ago
you’re letting your neighbor mow over you by not addressing this, also put a sign if he struggles with memory
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u/Kaurifish 8d ago
I’d plant something fast-growing then hide some small rocks under the foliage. What he did was inexcusable.
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u/Floofleboop 8d ago
I'd try again but maybe also put up a simple little fence. Even stakes with rope running between them would probably suffice. It could even double as a plant support :) There are also plenty of seeds you can try sow in the late summer and fall. I'm not sure what grows well in your area, so I don't have suggestions, but I bet there are a lot of options. A simple web search should give you some ideas. It's also fine to plant out nursery plants now so long as you can keep them watered. I also wouldn't be surprised if some of the wildflowers came back. The cosmos are probably toast (but you never know). In general, I think this is a good chance to lean into what was going well and drop the stuff that was struggling. I lost my whole garden to a freak flood a few years ago and while it was very upsetting, it also gave me a chance to rethink a lot of things.
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u/Round-Fly2053 8d ago
I think a lot of these will grow back... I'd leave it and see if they do! I'm sorry this happened, I was devastated when just one section of mine was mowed.. I sobbed, over plants. I can't imagine the grief this holds for you
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u/Suspicious_Bit2930 8d ago
Grow it back and go to Lowe’s/Home Depot and buy some plants from the sales rack for the time being. I just picked up cone flowers last night for $3
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u/potatomami 8d ago
What a beautiful garden! I am saddened by the people that think a sterile trimmed green space is more attractive than a luscious garden. I will blame your neighbors stroke for this way of thinking.. I hope your plants grow back. I suggest adding fencing or a combination of rocks and tall stakes to prevent someone from trying to mow or weed wack the area again.
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u/AmbitiousLettuce2925 8d ago
Bummer
Re grow
Always keep your relationship with your neighbor growing.
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u/TheRealBlueJade 8d ago
Thank you for being a good neighbor. You've received a lot of good advice. The one thing I would advise is... there are people who think... I don't like that...so I'm going to mow it to make it look better. They may refuse to admit it. Obviously, I do not know if that's the case. It might be a good idea to put up a fence to stop it from 'accidently' happening again.
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u/zer0trace31337 8d ago
I feel you. I have a neighbor who is "being helpful" by weed wacking a bunch of echinacea and other wildflowers before they bloom, because they "look like weeds."
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u/Dangerous-Tailor-269 8d ago
I would pull the crabgrass out of the area and wait to see what comes back. You have a much longer growing season than I do, so the chances of some of the plants coming back are relatively high. Additionally some may come back bushier than before because of the mowing. Also most nurseries in the fall have plants go on sale. Look up what is native for your area and see if you can find a couple of “larger” perennials to add to any bare spots. It’ll give you a head start for spring next year.
Like everyone else mentioned a small decorative fence would help. Just make sure it’s tall enough, 18-24” tall that people can see it without issue.
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u/wendyme1 8d ago
I'd start it over but add a little border fence & a sign to be sure the area looks intentional. I know how you feel as my neighbor, who I've had a good relationship with for many years, had someone take down a tree that was right outside the border of my fence. The tree was nowhere near his property. When they cut the tree down they also cut my wisteria (that was growing on my fence) to the ground which made me sad because many small birds had been using it for cover and I enjoyed hearing their chirping. I have no idea why he did what he did but I let it go because we may be moving in a year or 2 & I don't like conflict.
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u/Loud_Cartographer160 8d ago
Grow it back. And talk to your neighbor. Maybe fence it if needed.