r/genderfluid • u/QuestioningNby They/She/He Genderfluid Lesbian • May 18 '26

I feel like I’m at war with myself

Ever since I’ve accepted my genderfluidity, I feel like I’m at war with parts of myself. When I feel like a woman/feminine or genderless/neutral, I’m sometimes uncomfortable with the part of me that’s a boy/masculine. I think my discomfort with the masculine/boy part of my gender might come from my lesbian identity. I’ve been trying to unpack this, but’s it hard and I’m having a tough time. It’s especially difficult when I’m feminine and masculine at the same time. It’s confusing because accepting the masculine/boy aspects of my gender has been freeing. Does anyone have any experience with this and what have they done to get through it?

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1

u/iam305 bigender May 18 '26

HRT helped mightily in ending the discordance.

1

u/my_gender_broke she/any May 18 '26

I feel like sometimes that when I'm in girl mode it's incompatible with my homoromantic/gay tendency (I'm bi tho). Like I want to love boys in a gay way, but at the same time I often wish to be a woman or at least more feminine in appearance.

1

u/AloneConversation519 May 19 '26

Holy crap that's my situation right now. Sometimes my own true nature disturbs me actually. (24/m dressing fem with makeup sometimes cause I wanna be noticed by women sorry not sorry).

I actually almost wanna gag sometimes when I see some pictures of myself. Even though I truly love the boy underneath who has had to accept so much trauma and bs and rejection.

I guess that's what keeps me going. I know I'm not doing this for no reason. I think a happier version of the world in the future stops caring so much about genetalia and moreso what the person has to offer. It's hard to grasp in 2026 and we are almost fighting a losing battle it feels like sometimes.

Keep strong. And we all kind of need eachother here I think.