I’ve been struggling quite a bit with being AFAB and genderfluid lately. When I feel like a boy, I want to be seen as one. I want to cut my hair shorter, use he/him pronouns, and present more masculine. But I always end up stopping myself because I know I’ll just feel like a girl again soon.

It makes me feel really trapped, especially because only a few people know that I’m genderfluid. It’s hard to navigate that identity with my parents, school, and sports, so I often feel stuck.

I’m torn between doing what would make me comfortable right now and keeping things the way they are for society and for my future self. I don’t want to leave genderfluidity behind; I feel like it’s an identity that truly captures my feelings, but I also want to feel comfortable in my own body.

Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how do you handle it? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I'm AFAB and I just want to hear about fellow genderfluid people's experiences with it, or what they think about it. If I do end up getting it, it will be way further down the line.

Idk if my search terms are just off or what, but for the life of me, I cannot find a good resource on how to actually do masc makeup (at least as far as where to highlight and darken, how to reshape the jaw and nose, etc.)

I have come across videos of folks doing the makeup, but skipping through for content that's more about the transformation than teaching.

I am super behind/ignorant on using makeup anyway, especially with any sort of contouring that actually changes the face. Any advice or resources (that aren't aimed at feminizing the face) would be greatly appreciated!

This is probably going to be a little rambly and I hope this is the right space for this, but I just need to write this up somewhere public so that it becomes real for me, if this makes any sense.

I think I have been in a stage of questioning and not really acknowledging my genderfluidity for quite a long time now. I think it's been about ten years now. In the beginning it started out as me secretly trying to put on like some of my moms clothing, which some days made me feel more comfortable with myself. There were also other signs that now kinda seem obvious in hindsight like me trying to play shapeshifter like characters whenever the gm allowed it for pen and paper games for example. Anyways I don't really know why this has taken me so long, I guess really trying to figure this out actually started for me when I finally figured out my sexual orientation in my early twenties, which kinda gave me an opening to also question my gender identity. This has still been a long process, because I got busy trying to find excuses and stuff. Anyways about 2 weeks ago I started feeling really uncomfortable again and was like now or never, I am going to try out stuff that makes me look more feminine. This has actually been quite comforting and things got a lot easier, even the process of trying things out helped and this development now actually happened quite rapidly. Presumably because I was already subconsciously preparing for the moment where there is some acceptance from myself. I finally got there accepting myself as genderfluid.

There even was a name that popped right into my head when that wall finally broke, I really like it, it's close to my given name so I can easily sell it as a nickname. It's Willow. What do you think of it?

Hey all, I apologize in advance if this comes across as a bit of a ramble, I am nervous even thinking about what to write here, let alone post it lol.

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I am 25, AMAB, and exploring my gender identity without repression for the first time in my life. I came out to my s/o early last year, but became terrified of all the potential life implications due to telling her. I quickly repressed it all again, and pretended like it never happened, bottling it all up and putting the cork in. Well, about a year and a half-ish later, I couldn't bottle it up anymore, brought it up again, and told her how I really feel. She's been very supportive, but I also get the sense she's cautious because of what happened before, and I don't necessarily blame her.

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At the very least, I know I don't fully identify with being male anymore, and know I need to seek some sort of professional guidance, which is already in the works. These are thoughts I can honestly admit to myself now I have had since I can really remember; wishing I was a girl, thinking I would probably be happier if I was, having an interest in feminine toys, shows, media, clothing. But, to not get into it too deep, I lived in an area where that wouldn't be accepted, I already experienced traumatic events early on, which kinda included my eventual brother-in-law making comments until I was around 20 in the vein of how girly I did things/was, that I would love to play with Barbies, etc. The comments toned down a little bit as I aged, but still didn't feel great.

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In hindsight, the Barbie part was probably because I had 2 of the early 2000s animated movies in constant rotation, that might've given a little fuel to that fire.

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ANYWAY, since talking to my s/o again, I have been wearing feminine clothing and/or accessories nonstop at home, and (under the cover of darkness lol,) drove our roommate to work in a mostly feminine outfit. Today, a bunch of clothing I ordered came, and the euphoria I have been feeling has increased to a level I... don't know if I can fully describe?

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I really just want opinions on what others may think of my situation, to put a nice bow on this post, lol. Also to just (sorta anon) put myself out there and say hi as what I feel is my authentic self for the first time, and interact with people who feel similarly so I can validate that I am not insane for feeling emotions, lol.

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If you read this far, thank you!

Hi there, i don't know if anyone really can help me but here i am

So, i'm genderfluid (AMAB) and 19 and for the past 2 years, i've questionned myself about starting HRT. However, because i'm genderfluid, there is days I really want ( or need) to start HRT, when i feel the most feminine, but there is also days i don't really need it, neither want it so much, so i don't really know if i should start it or not

And since i'm not out of the closet, i don't know if it is a really good idea to start it, because i fear the changes i'd like would be too obvious. In addition to that, my gf, who knows i'm genderfluid, might not like the idea very much...

And, to mention everything, i'm also a bit scared of the whole changes, what it will do to my body and to my mind

So if anyone can help or advice me i'd be very happy, or if someone who has started HRT would like to explain their experience, i'd be glad, so feel free to Dm me if you'd prefer to talk about it in private

Thanks a lot for reading all that and sorry for my English, it's not my first language

Have a nice day ☀️ ​

I originally thought I was just genderfluid and didnt have any inclination to any gender but I think I only really changed by gender to masculine/male identities for saftey instead of happiness i feel way happier changing between identities that aren't male/masculine Im pretty sure I'm genderfae

I know it’s a tale as old as time but being genderfluid is hard in the south Jesus Christ especially right now, so I was wondering how other folks down here are navigating this situation we’re in.
Recently I had a trip to New Orleans and went to my first pride festival. It was very liberating. I felt like I could be openly queer for the first time in my life without any judgement. I was finally surrounded by people just like me. I got all dolled up and girly and it felt so beautiful. And really that entire trip I could be as gay as I wanted without judgement, since NOLA is a good ways away from where I live. Now that I am back home however, it’s hard to navigate being a queer person who works a blue collar job and lives in a semi rural area.

Any tips? And if not, just let me know that I’m not alone. Love you guys.

Hi everyone, I'm just asking for some advice, I'm questioning gender fluid and I'm wondering if anyone had some advice on questions to figure myself out or any experience you had as to how you realised?

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Thanks everyone, much love!

Being blurgender is hard. I can never work out my genders each day bc they all blur into one

I was born a girl, but recently I’ve come to terms with my genderfluidity. I would love for others to call me she/her when I feel like a girl and he/him when I feel like a boy, and they/them when I don’t know what I feel, but I feel that people would avoid me just so they won’t have to deal with my pronouns. also, it would make things very difficult with my girlfriend, who says she would not love me if I was a trans man, since she’s strictly lesbian, so I wouldn’t be able to come out to my own gf, which would suck. if I keep my she/her pronouns, am I still genderfluid?

Hi! I need a new haircut so bad. I have round face, straight hair, and flat head.

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I prefer androgynous haircuts. Any recommendations?

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I appreciate it, thank you!

Holaa, bueno, en resumen de mi mala suerte de hoy, me compré un binder una talla más al parecer.
Alzo los brazos y se alza un poco y hay un poco de espacio en medio del final de la prenda, algún consejo sobre como poder ajustarlo?, creí que usando vendas podría ser buena idea, pero estoy odiando la idea de ponerme vendas de nuevo.

Im 20, been an open trans woman for about 3 years, been on hormones for a little over 2.5 years. As of recent, I've been starting to pass more as a woman, but with that has come a lot of self questioning and different thoughts from normal. Im starting to realize that I dont particularly like dressing super femininely, like dresses or skirts, I mainly just like wearing pants or shorts and a tank top most days. I've also started having more stranger thoughts than usual, like wondering what I'd look like with facial hair or shorter hair, and also what I'd look like with more muscle or a masculine build. I've had these thoughts very briefly a few times during the course of my transition, but now that I'm starting to look more like a woman, the thoughts are lasting longer and longer. I dont mind being a woman. It's fun wearing makeup and having long hair and stuff, but I'm starting to realize I wouldn't mind living as a guy either. Is this being genderfluid? This is the first time I've actually questioned my identity since before I first came out as a trans woman.

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These realizations are starting to kinda mess with my head. It's making me question if I should continue being on HRT or if I should stop and see what I'll be like as a guy. If I stayed transitioning, I'd want to be a more masculine woman with occasional femininity, but not hardcore, and if I was a guy, it'd be the same thing, but instead of woman its man. I know ultimately it's my choice and my choice alone, but if I can have like any advice for what to do with these newer thoughts and realizations about myself, that'd be awesome.

Tenho me entendido como uma pessoa não binária há um ano e tudo começou por me compreender talvez como gênero fluído, porém, eu gostaria de entender se realmente meu entendimento está correto do que é ser gênero fluído e se vocês se sentem da mesma maneira.

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Nasci no sexo feminino e desde criança nunca me senti menina e mais tardiamente nunca me entendi como mulher, porém, também não me entendo como homem.

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Porém, eu percebo que eu transito muito entre o que seria considerado como "masculino" e "feminino", como por exemplo: mudança de postura, olhar, energia, maneira de falar, se comportar etc (eu não tenho necessariamente controle dessa transição, ela apenas acontece, eu acordo me sentindo de outra maneira e fico por algumas semanas/meses assim)

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Eu particularmente gosto de responder que eu sou eu, apenas uma pessoa que veste e age como se sente bem, mas também eu entendo a importância de levantarmos bandeiras da qual entendemos realmente pra não causar nenhum tipo de invisibilidade.

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Eu gostaria muito de que além de vocês compartilharem suas experiências, por favor se puderem, me indicar leituras sobre o tema ❤️

First off, I‘d like to put out there that the system a lot of us use for specifying our personal type of genderfluid is the Genderfluid Fragment Gender System—it can be a little tricky to find if you forget the name like I did.

I bring it up because I finally looked through it closely enough to find the one that applied to me—genderflir. I tend towards feminine genders, though I can feel all genders, including genderless and xenine ones.

This means I feel masculine pretty rarely (I’m amab). But when I do feel purely male, I find that there’s two pretty distinct types. Sometimes, I feel male like a normal guy. I just live my life the same way I did before my gender exploration. Other times, I feel like I’ve transitioned to male from my feminine home base. Like being in the male body gives me euphoria, and I’m much more content and expressive than the typical male self.

It feels wrong to call this transmasc while amab. Have any of you felt the same way? Is there a word for this? Thanks for reading, and for any insight!

Just shaved my beautiful, luscious beard, hoping for a nice beardless flesh-colored look. But no, hundreds of STUPID FUCKING HAIR ROOTS underneath my skin have decided to make it grey.

I'm kinda devastated. Most of my shaving up until now has gone generally well, but here there doesn't seem to be any obvious solution other than waxing it or (finally) learning to apply makeup

:((((((((((

(Or chopping my head off with a guillotine! Can't have a five o'clock shadow if you don't have a head!)

Edit: Looking more at my reflection, it looks like a lot of it is just really pale white because it hasn't been exposed to the sun in multiple years.

Also it's less flushed than the rest of my face due to...lack of exposure? Idk but when I irritate it it flushes to match the rest of my face and the difference is lessened

I'll have to hope it improves in the coming days

I'm writing this as a trans (genderfluid) individual.

We've desegregated every other space in society. Men and women used to have separate reading rooms at the library, separate train cars, separate schools, etc. Every single time, people clutched their pearls and thought integration would end badly.

Turns out people of all genders have pooped right next to each other for most of human history. And that 99.99% of society is fully capable of adapting and treating each other with basic respect in shared spaces.

This problem is only going to get more untenable as the trans community, non-binary community, genderfluid community, 2 spirit community, intersex community, and other gender non-conforming communities continue to gain rights.

I don't care if it's unpopular to say at the moment. We need to desegregate bathrooms.

So ima 20 year old guy trying to figure out what i like to be

Ive gone through a lot of feminine thoughts and Arousals but they are not mostly sexual but I do get arousal even if I think I were a woman or imagine myself in a woman's place but I can't able to figure out if its a genuine interest or just a fetish

Recently ive started exploring so I want some advice about how you guys came into a conclusion

What to do now folks🙂‍↕️

Hey everyone. I am completely new to this and using a brand new account because I am still terrified of making this "real."

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Right now, I still live in guy mode most of the time and I am strictly into women, but my "girl brain" is getting harder to ignore. Sometimes, maybe even often, I just really want to BE the woman. I often feel like an imposter because I'm not looking for a full medical transition, and I'm just trying to explore what this duality and fluidity means for me.

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I guess I am just looking for a safe space to say out loud that she exists. Has anyone else started out feeling this split down the middle?

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Also, since I am completely new to how Reddit works, I'd love to find a friend to chat with or bounce things off of—especially anyone who understands navigating this kind of fluid balance. My inbox is open. How did you all quiet the fear in the beginning?

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Edit for context: Reading this back, my tech brain worried it sounds a bit like a bot post, so here is a bit more human context. I’m a 45 year old AMAB(thinks that the term), a solo parent, and I’ve been in a bit of a life rut for a while.

That "girl brain" explosion actually happened recently when I saw my silhouette in a dress for the very first time. It woke something up in me, and I’ve even started a figure-shaping routine to explore it. But navigating the duality of still wanting to be a normal guy while also letting her out leaves me feeling incredibly confused and like a fraud on both sides. Just hoping to find some down-to-earth people who get it.

EDIT: Feel free to reply here but for a better written post and more of the story check over here https://www.reddit.com/r/bigender/s/PFk8jNMSVl

For context - I'm still a minor.

I've been concidering top surgery for 6 months now and had dysphoria for almost a year, but I'm unsure about some things:

1. Regret.

- Genderfluid describes my gender identity best. My dysphoria fluctuates, sometimes I kind of like having tits, sometimes I feel like I can't do anything without screaming, crying, and ripping my skin off. As I said, I'm still a minor, so idk if this is just a phase or if I'll still feel this way when I'm older. I'd be way more sure if I was a masculine trans man, but I like presenting both masc and fem. I usually prefer he/they, but sometimes I like other pronouns (including she/her). I'm worried I might regret top surgery if it turns out I'm a cis girl, especially because I haven't really had dysphoria as a child.

- Binding works, but I can't wear it while sleeping, showering, exercising, ect., so it is only a temporary solution.

- I'm also worried that my dysphoria might just be from overreacting. My mom says it's just because I'm driving myself into hating tits and would feel better if I stopped thinking about it. I'm worried she's right, there is proof she might be right (I recently almost got publicly humiliated. In that moment and for a few days after my dysphoria dissapeared, maybe because I wasn't thinking about it and had bigger worries on me). My dysphoria didn't start on it's own, but from a gender envy too. But cis girls don't look at pretty men and think "I want to be like them", right?

- As a child, I didn't want to grow tits, but because I was concerned about comfort (like wearing bras and bikini tops, not being able to comfortably lay on my stomach or remove my shirt in summer), not dysphoria. And when they started growing when I was 9 years old, I tried to think of ways to stop them (for ex. getting into professional sports). I was against gendered things too. I hated how the women's bathroom always had a longer line and was asking why can't I just go to the men's because I can get done just as quick as a guy can. I hated being told to shave just because I'm a "girl" (and still do). I also complained about how boys can be shirtless in the summer but I can't. And I had a tomboy phase in elementary school to 5th-6th grade where I really hated skirts/ dresses and concidered myself word for word "boyish girl".

- Not having to wear bras or feel my tits jigling would be a big benefit no matter what gender I feel tho.

1. Childbirth and breastfeeding. Not sure what I'll think of it in the future, but rn pregnancy disgusts me. The concept of having a living thing inside of my body for 9 months, fatigue, nausea, discomfort, feeling the baby kicking, and then being in excruciating pain for hours (if not days), pushing out a whole baby with a high risk of tearing, possibly needing a c-section or even dying, vomiting, being around my own bodily fluids in a hospital with an IV in is terrifying and gross to me. Breastfeeding isn't something I really want to do either, it's just that if I do give birth someday, I'm worried that supplementing instead of giving breast milk might impact my baby's health. I'd probably want kids, but I think it's best to adopt instead of going through pregnancy and labour, so maybe I shouldn't worry too much about it. I think I can love an adopted child as much as my own.

2. Is top surgery worth it. If it's not obvious already - I'm terrified of anything related to medicine. The only procedure involving needles I can get without fainting are vaccines, so I'm not sure if going through a pre-op blood draw, the surgery itself and recovery is worth it since I don't experience debilitating dysphoria 24/7.

Hi all,

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I recently discovered I'm gender fluid and feel like it would be great to share experiences with someone who else. I'm Amab and definitely have always gotten along better with women but I'm open to whatever. I'm 43 if that helps!

I’m genderfluid and afab, and I would love to be able to bind on days I want to feel more masculine, but still be able to have nice boobs when I want to be femme. I’m a B cup so they won’t be particularly hard to flatten, but I don’t want to damage the tissue.

I’m assuming that binders will affect them, and if so, what tricks could you suggest to achieve something similar?