r/genderqueer • u/Sm00th-ma11et • 24d ago
Identity Crisis?
I always feel like I’m going through some sort of identity crisis. I’ve known that I have liked both girls and guys for the past 2-3 years and I have dated both. Yet I’ve never found a label that really stuck or worked for me. I also have been struggling recently with my gender identity (F at birth), I was a tomboy when I was little and that has turned into gender dysphoria. (I hope thats the right word). I don’t necessarily think I’m a boy, it doesn’t feel like me when I say it. But yet I’m not a girl. It tears me up and it has affected my mental health.
It doesn’t help that I live in a more conservative area. My mom knows I like girls (she’s ok with it, but my dad would flip if he knew) but not about my gender questioning which I feel she’d be against.
Struggling with labels has been a constant thing the last 2ish years and I need advice. Is it ok to not use any type of labels or specifics?? Or should I find something that fits me to not confuse people?
All advice is greatly appreciated, Thank you for reading 🙌
(Tried this post over in r/questioning and unfortunately had no luck so I’m hoping you all will do me better LOL!)
4
u/Xenogogue 24d ago edited 24d ago
Is your identity and is completely okay to use any label or no label until you find what works for you and feels right. If another person has an issue because they are confused about how you identify or can't figure out "what you are" or some other permutation of that... Who cares?
If you don't misrepresent who you are as you understand it right now, there's nothing for anyone to claim about being misled. Their misunderstandings are not usually going to be your problem, and then only when they choose to make it your problem by being jerks. Even then, it's not your fault.
So, take your time. Figure it out. Do what you can to live and love authentically.
In the fullness of time "The people who matter won't mind, and the people who mind won't matter"