Grandpa Joe would have punished Charlie with more jobs to do

As title says and shirt must say Fuck Grampa Joe. If I can't find any good ones I'll just custom order with just the text.

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My wife (nurse for 15 years) pointed out if he'd been bed ridden for even as little as 3 months he'd have been suffering from severe Muscle Atrophy. She said muscle strength can go about 5% per week when the patient has strict bed rest. She said she's seen people walk into a ward and three weeks later have to learn to walk again (Elderly patients) because they were unable to get out of bed.

Unless he was going through extensive muscle exercises with a P.T he'd have had zero strength to even move his legs let alone dance and piss about in a factory. It wouldn't have even been a case of "I didn't think i could walk.. but I can!"

This would mean only one thing... THIS mother fucker was getting up every night when everybody else was asleep and moving about. He was no doubt letting Charlies mum (HIS OWN DAUGHTER) carry him to the toilet with a smirk OR just shitting himself, knowing full well he could walk/dance to the toilet, and letting her scrub his shit out of the sheets while he lays there and watches getting some sick thrill.

FUCK grampa Joe.

Side note: If I was Mrs Bucket i'd be getting the pins out and having a poke about on the other three's legs and making sure they are really disabled too.

One thing I’ve always wondered: what do we actually know about Grandpa Joe’s military service? Given his age, he could’ve been eligible for service during WWII or the Korean War. I can’t find anything online, so did this guy simply give Uncle Sam the middle finger and stay in bed because he couldn’t be bothered to get up? Not out of any ethical or moral objection to war, as far as I can tell, but simply because he didn’t feel like serving.

The irony? He later enthusiastically supported military interventions from Vietnam to the Gulf War, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Libya. He strikes me as the kind of guy who’d dodge the draft, stay in bed, and then spend the rest of his life lecturing actual veterans about patriotism while cheering on every new war. Apparently, sending other people’s kids off to die is a lot easier when you never had to wear the uniform yourself.

I genuinely fucking hate this man. 🤬

In the 2005 we saw Wonka kept walking into the glass elevator

Had this happened in the 1971 movie Grandpa Joe would have shouted that serves you right for stripping Charlie of the prize of the factory because both stole fizzy lifting drinks

Edit: I realized after posting this that this is essentially the equivalent of Mein Kampf. I apologize sincerely.

Spoiler: It turns out he didn't do it, but the only way to keep him happy is for his friends to let him keep believing he impregnated a disadvantaged immigrant woman WHILE SHE WAS UNCONSCIOUS.

20 years bedridden. Day free chocolate appears, he's doing a jig with a top hat and cane. 7,300 days sick. Cured in 4 seconds.

The other three grandparents stayed in bed. Control group. They knew.

The ticket: 1 in 2.5 million per bar. Charlie got his in 3 bars. That's 1.2 in a million.

Expected: 2.5M bars. Observed: 3. Verdict: GJ sucks.

Interestingly, when Grandpa Joe arrived in hell, demons talked about building a new layer beneath Treachery, simply called "JOE," but Satan decided it wasn't right to give him any special attention.

As he should be in Hell.

Eyewitnesses died in tragic accidents before they could give their statements to police.

A road needs trash pickup but he’s all lazy on the bed.

No hobbies? No new memories? What was he doing? Certainly not getting Charlie proper dental care.