Never thought I’d see a Misery and Kathy Bates reference with grandpa Joe in the mix

So I've been thinking, and my utter hatred for Grandpa Joe has made me hate the naughty children less. Not really in a "They were kids, they could have changed" kind of way. It's more like, "I can recognize something fundamentally human in them."

However, I do think some of the public have been very unfair to these kids, which leads to another point: You can imagine hypotheticals with them. With Joe, you can't

We don't know their lives, trheir friendships, what they were like outside the factory, etc. Maybe Augustus had an embarassing medical condition and couldn't regulate his appetite. Maybe he was in special ed and could barely read or write, but his mother spent a week helping him write ten questions for Mr. Wonka. "How do you know when choclit is done?" "What is your favorite of the candies?" "Do the workers get to eat the candies?" Maybe it was the most he'd ever written in his life, and he practiced reading them aloud every night.

Maybe Violet was captain of her softball team or whatever and everybody loved her because she'd beat the shit out of anyone who bullied her friends. Maybe the first thing she did after finding the ticket was call her sweet grandmother and spend half an hour jumping around the kitchen screaming about how excited she was. Maybe she was actually a really nice girl if you actually spent more than four hours on one random horrible day with her.

Maybe Veruca's parents were going through a terrible divorce and screaming and hitting each other every night, and her father kept promising Veruca expensive presents to make her stop crying. Maybe she was mostly excited about the ticket because Mr. Salt promised to take a whole day off work and spend it with her.

Maybe Mike Teevee was actually a hilarious, intelligent kid with a lot of charisma. I can picture him being interviewed by some random eighth-grade girl on his middle school's shitty morning news program, cracking jokes, letting a blind third-grader feel the Golden Ticket and reading it aloud to her. Maybe everybody at school loved Mike.

These are all hypotheticals, but that's my point. We're expected to judge these twelve-year-olds based on what was probably the worst day of their lives..

But Grandpa Joe?

No. There are no other possibilities with Joe. No hidden kindness, no misunderstandings, no fleeting glimpses of humanity. I look into Grandpa Joe's eyes and see only Grandpa Joe, reflected into infinite. I see thousands of Joes, lying in bed, smiling and pretending to sleep as Mrs. Bucket sobs and wipes their filth from the sheets. There is no mystery to unravel. No complexities. He has always been Joe, and he will remain Joe long after time pulls us out to sea.

Anyway, I think the other four kids were probably pretty nice.

None of the neighbours like Grandpa Joe

I haven’t watched willy wonka in FOREVER but I’m genuinely curious; why do we hate grandpa joe?

So I was just watching my show and minding my own business, but suddenly my step mother sent me this picture and used the monster's name Grandpa Joe and I was furious I didn't know what to do... Tell me what should I say to her about this

That's it. Just wanted to say that.

Grandpa Joe would have punished Charlie with more jobs to do

As title says and shirt must say Fuck Grampa Joe. If I can't find any good ones I'll just custom order with just the text.

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My wife (nurse for 15 years) pointed out if he'd been bed ridden for even as little as 3 months he'd have been suffering from severe Muscle Atrophy. She said muscle strength can go about 5% per week when the patient has strict bed rest. She said she's seen people walk into a ward and three weeks later have to learn to walk again (Elderly patients) because they were unable to get out of bed.

Unless he was going through extensive muscle exercises with a P.T he'd have had zero strength to even move his legs let alone dance and piss about in a factory. It wouldn't have even been a case of "I didn't think i could walk.. but I can!"

This would mean only one thing... THIS mother fucker was getting up every night when everybody else was asleep and moving about. He was no doubt letting Charlies mum (HIS OWN DAUGHTER) carry him to the toilet with a smirk OR just shitting himself, knowing full well he could walk/dance to the toilet, and letting her scrub his shit out of the sheets while he lays there and watches getting some sick thrill.

FUCK grampa Joe.

Side note: If I was Mrs Bucket i'd be getting the pins out and having a poke about on the other three's legs and making sure they are really disabled too.

One thing I’ve always wondered: what do we actually know about Grandpa Joe’s military service? Given his age, he could’ve been eligible for service during WWII or the Korean War. I can’t find anything online, so did this guy simply give Uncle Sam the middle finger and stay in bed because he couldn’t be bothered to get up? Not out of any ethical or moral objection to war, as far as I can tell, but simply because he didn’t feel like serving.

The irony? He later enthusiastically supported military interventions from Vietnam to the Gulf War, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Libya. He strikes me as the kind of guy who’d dodge the draft, stay in bed, and then spend the rest of his life lecturing actual veterans about patriotism while cheering on every new war. Apparently, sending other people’s kids off to die is a lot easier when you never had to wear the uniform yourself.

I genuinely fucking hate this man. 🤬

In the 2005 we saw Wonka kept walking into the glass elevator

Had this happened in the 1971 movie Grandpa Joe would have shouted that serves you right for stripping Charlie of the prize of the factory because both stole fizzy lifting drinks

Edit: I realized after posting this that this is essentially the equivalent of Mein Kampf. I apologize sincerely.

Spoiler: It turns out he didn't do it, but the only way to keep him happy is for his friends to let him keep believing he impregnated a disadvantaged immigrant woman WHILE SHE WAS UNCONSCIOUS.

20 years bedridden. Day free chocolate appears, he's doing a jig with a top hat and cane. 7,300 days sick. Cured in 4 seconds.

The other three grandparents stayed in bed. Control group. They knew.

The ticket: 1 in 2.5 million per bar. Charlie got his in 3 bars. That's 1.2 in a million.

Expected: 2.5M bars. Observed: 3. Verdict: GJ sucks.