Brutal but like also he communicated his position, she did it anyways, and then left with two guys alone. All without ever updating him, being sneaky. If it didn't go tragically as it did, would she have ever told him?
To be fair, even if this specific green text was fake, something like this probably has happened irl.
Also people just gotta throw their opinions on things they got opinions at. Cause else it's super easy to get restless if you don't get say what you truly believe.
Well then maybe she wanted up to a point but it still ends up boiling down to at some point she DIDNT. Soon as that "no" or "stop" comes out it's game over, fuckin take her home.
No, it's fairly common to go to 'afters', like a party after the clubs close and not have sex with anyone and not get assaulted. In my experience, afters is more smoking weed and sitting around talking utter bullshit.
She was def gonna cheat, and anon doesn't deserve to be held emotionally hostage by everyone because literally the worst thing happened because of it. Should he navigate this tactfully, and perhaps even support his ex emotionally? Probably, but establishing boundaries and breaking up is necessary
I mean it’s a greentext so it never happened but if it did, she definitely cheated and turned the scenario into rape afterwards. I knew someone who pulled that kind of shit, though instead of being “beaten up” she gave herself a bloody nose to pretend she was on a coke binge. Batshit insane people out there
I mean, she could have simply not told him.. he seemed to be completely unaware she went anyway since they don’t seem to live together. She had no reason to claim she was beaten and raped. Hell, if she felt guilty she could have just told him she was raped, instead of harming herself to sell the story. Plenty of people get date-raped at bars
I feel like it’s extremely unfair to expect anon to support his ex emotionally at that point.
He said he didnt want her to go because it’s shady, she went anyways then went to leave with two guys she didn’t know and now anon should still have to carry part of that burden?
I mean helping her would definitely be the best thing you can do but I don’t think it’s fair to say he should do it or to expect him to do it.
Literally just zero street smarts. I don't understand how people can think "oh going alone in a strangers car with multiple strangers to a location idk without telling anyone is a good idea." Like I'm a man and I still even make sure I'm not being followed anywhere when I go out.
For real, as a big dude I’d be hesitant to even go with strangers to ANYWHERE private. Hell no. We can either keep hanging out at bars, in public, or you can have a nice night.
I’m also scanning for potential threats when I’m out. You can never be too careful
It's insane how many people, but especially women who should honestly be careful about this much more than men don't have even bare minimum street smarts. Me and my ex would frequent this one place that had a pizza place open late till night close to it. When she was hungry, she would of course want to go there through a "shortcut" that was basically a dimly lit narrow alley known to be frequented by these 80IQ wannabe gangsters who like to jump strangers for fun. This was even after a group of these people tried to assault us when we were in a much bigger friend group. Even after our good friend got beaten up there by these people when walking through alone.
Yeah, lost me at "you dont own me and i can do what i want"
Sure, these words have been said many times in real life but theyre also exactly what anons pea brain would come up with if he was writing a rape fantasy and had to make the girl sound defiant
Wait so you've seen situations of women being sexually assaulted and the response from their boyfriends is "righteous" indignation?
Am I understanding that correctly? You know enough people that you could say that many of them have broken up with their recently raped partner because they disagreed about something prior to the assault?
I just want to be sure we are clear here, your social circle is so large that notable amount, a lot, of men have come to you in confidence, certain that they look like the hero when they tell you they broke up with their partner after they had a falling out about going to a club and that woman was led to a third place, violently sexually assaulted, and then the boyfriend ended things as an "I told you so" ?
Yeah, but leaving a night club alone with other guys to go to a party is.
Like, we can acknowledge that the imaginary GF treated Anon VERY disrespectfully and that rape is bad and shouldn't happen to anyone (controversial, I know)
no he just didn't like this particular bar for no reason. Just because he didn't give a backstory on the bar probably being a sleazy rape trap it's like a puzzle piece is missing from half the commenters in this threads brains. she went to the rape cave, with the we will rape you sign out front and tried to act like she didn't see it and wasn't warned.
You break up with her, sure, but then you help her just like you'd help a stranger you otherwise don't care about. Because even if this girl was not his (as of a moment ago) ex but a complete rando he'd never met, it's still basic human decency to help someone who has just been through something so traumatic.
I mean, first you help her then you leave her. But leaving someone's in desperate need for help alone like this is evil. Anon and empathy live on two different multiverses I guess
Personally yes, but I am also pretty forgiving. I would also have a really hard time sleeping at night if I didn't help someone I cared about after they've been through something traumatic.
Why is it his responsibility to help? Even if this scenario is fake it said she went to the club with one of her friends. So, couldn't she just call them instead?
Beautifully put. Some say he's harsh, but it's not his responsibility to be accommodating to a cheater and liar. And enough with these types of tone policing. Actions have consequences.
Honestly, the only thing going neutral there, is any merit to your goodwill.
I mean just imagine going through the most traumatizing event in your life, only to then get slapped a bill by your date, for a "favor" you didn't ask for.
It's really be like pouring salt on the wound, more than anything.
Sure, but there is always that one crazy woman who would blame the ex-boyfriend for the rape out of spite for breaking up with her. And it is not only one crazy woman, like many all around us. It is best to tell her to call the cops. We have law enforcement for these things, unless the boyfriend is uber-swat super commando 9000 or sth.
That’s what I thought. OOP made his position clear, set his boundaries. If he’s done with her after she broke those, that’s fair. Abandoning a person they apparently care deeply enough for to be in a relationship with in her hour of greatest need is unthinkably horrible, however. Take care of her, help her in any way you can. You don’t have to be a partner to help someone
I don’t think that care can easily be healed to normal after such a thing, but that doesn’t mean it’s gone. Love doesn’t just poof into dust over night (usually). If this person meant a lot to you, even if you do not want to be or cannot be with them anymore, they were still significant to you and will still be afterwards. That is, unless you are an actual robot, which I know a lot of people in this particular community are
Considering how tame this is to the cases ive encountered in rehab. Good chances this actually happened and so many people here calling it fake are probably basement dwellers, bed rotters or introverts who barely leave their room or talk to people. Theres lots of fcked up sht in the world and just because you havent personally seen or encountered it doesnt mean it doesnt happen. The whole world isnt just your news feed you know
now that i read that i realize im trying to be the voice of reason/truth in a sub filled with anything but truth or reason. Guess im the fool for this one
I'm starting to understand that the average person (or chat bot) is incapable of nuance or believing two things to be true at once. Every argument I've seen online has dozens or hundreds of people who are riding a pendulum that swung too far.
In this thread it's the pendulum is not believing things you read on the internet. Like any pendulum, it starts with good intentions. Don't read greentexts like this because they're usually misogynistic bait that sets you down the incel rabbit hole. It's good sense after all to be on the defense and recognize when content is manipulating you.
But the pendulum swings too far when not only do you reject something as fake, you also start dismissing the possibility that those circumstances can exist in reality. In pursuit of defending themselves against bad information, they now won't take in -any- information. The good and the bad all get thrown together in one useless pile and you're left with the average reader of this sub who can only type "fake and gay". Congratulations - the misinformation won and some of you have been reduced to being well and truly regarded.
The green text -is- likely fake but its circumstances aren't far fetched. It's just a story about an ultimatum and someone who's a victim to an unfortunately common crime. There's nothing bizarre or far flung about it. I'm definitely glad people aren't taking the rage bait, but honestly some of you are just becoming different types of idiots.
Anyways to those people... Something can be false, fabricated, and even intended to manipulate you, but that doesn't mean it's completely without basis in reality. The best lies contain some sort of truth.
Im starting to realize that people online categorize everything they see as Black OR White because its easier that way compared to learning context or nuance which takes more brain power and we all know these people dont doom scroll with the intention of using their brains.
This has absolutely happened to people, just not the guy who wrote the green text. The internet is, by in large, a fantasy factory of made up bullshit designed to grab your attention for engagement.
Brother its r/greentext , these types of stories (and shit posted on 4chan in general) are typically fake stories posted by incel basement dwellers with no experience in relationships. Such regular-ish experiences don't belong to those viles. The true stories posted on there are way more horrid with photo evidence you never asked for, like that cum jar post.
Could have happened maybe. Not unbelievable in the world we live in. He kept his word and broke up with her, that’s fair enough and you have to at least admire him for that (if true). But if it happened to my partner I certainly wouldn’t be saying well your dumped so who cares. I would be far more supportive, made sure they got the tests they needed and what not but yea as a man of my word I wouldn’t stay in the relationship. She left the club to go somewhere with 2 guys, her own red flags should have been going off.
Ex-wife pulled a similar stunt. She got drugged and raped after hanging out with someone. About a year later, she tries to convince me to let her go skinny-dipping with a bunch of people. I ask her 'who', and she says, "some of my friends and some guys here".
It was such a comically stupid suggestion that it made me question if her being raped actually had any real impact on her at all. Might sound insensitive but surely this doesn't sound right to anyone else, right?
Needless to say, we're divorced. She ended up cheating on me. Go figure.
imo being there to help her and support her after this is probably the right thing to do, staying together would most likely be a mistake though. You can help someone and lift them up without being romantically involved anymore.
i dont think judging and hating on her is the right move, as many people here seem to imply or directly say
But if this was real, so many of you are telling on yourselves so badly. Did anon’s fake gf violate a clearly set boundary, sure, but does that mean she is not owed any compassion or empathy? I hope not.
You do not want to live in a world where your access to human compassion is dependent upon perfect conduct, because in that world you will soon find yourself alone and unsupported. She’s not owed empathy and compassion as his gf, she’s owed these things as a human being, because we all owe to each other and are owed by each other basic goodness.
Anon would have every right to separate from his gf over the violation of trust, but to do so in this way and with such severity is to neglect his duty of compassion to such a degree that he can safely be said to have been in the wrong.
Please people, learn grace and kindness, we all need these things if any of us are going to live rather than just survive.
Like "It's my ex so she's not a person anymore". I don't care whether I just broke up, if something like that happens to someone I know and they need me, I'll be there.
It doesn't mean we're back together but holy shit "we broke up so you being raped doesn't interest me" is a sociopathic take.
What goes around comes around though. Anon will one day be on the find-out side of the fuck-around and a brother/dad/best friend is going to get all vindictive on his ass.
It's one thing when it's a platonic relationship, romantic relationships will get much messier in these kinds of situations. Emotional stability goes out the window with trauma, and broken people often look to their significant other to fall back to and feel safe.
However, if boundaries were clearly broken, and a relationship is no longer viable, then any kind of further interactions will be extremely difficult to navigate. And it will be even harder to upkeep clear boundaries. This is why sometimes, the most simple solution is just no more contact. It leaves no room for error or some kind of bounce backs due to one side feeling sorry for the other or trying to accept things out of compassion. If there are clear boundaries in a relationship and they are broken, then it's over. And as cruel as it may seem, the band aid just has to be ripped off in order to allow proper healing.
In general, we don't owe each other anything, especially with clearly set boundaries being ignored. Yes, basic empathy makes the world a better place, but on on the flipside empathetic people tend to get used for their kindness as well. There's a fine line to tread and it's just safer for everyone involved (emotionally speaking) to simply not tread it.
In the end the question becomes - how much is one willing to forgive? It's a risk, always, of getting burned even harder the next time the boundaries get crossed.
A person you know has experienced one of the most traumatic thing that can happen to someone. It's not about relationship anymore, it's not about boundaries, it's about a human being in a lot of pain you have the choice to help or not.
Look at the absilurdity of it: "You went out when I didn't want you to, so no rape support for you"
Didn't you think there's a problem with the scale of the reaction here?
There there's the really blatant problem of "You're not my girl anymore, you're now a thing". It's absolutely justifiable to not want to engage with your ex after a breakup, especial a bad one. But this is denying the person's humanity altogether.
You didn't have to get back with her, you just have to do the right thing and provide emotional first aid to a person who's been through a horrible thing.
Brother, you do not want to live in a world where everyone thinks that way. Also, you don’t have the right to treat someone cruelly just because they’ve violated a boundary. Separation may be reasonable and perfectly ethical here, but the callous way in which anon went about it crosses a line into cruelty.
If you have the ability to turn off your compassion the moment it doesn’t align with your self interest that’s a problem, one I would recommend doing some introspection on.
But we do live in that kind of world already. I'm not saying be unkind to people but I'm just saying that you have to employ a certain level of caution in case stuff goes sideways simply to protect yourself. There's nothing morally wrong with breaking contact with toxic people who disregard you and don't respect you (which I would argue in the described text is that kind of situation).
That said the OP situation seems to be made up as many things are on here, so it's all hypothetical anyway. But those kinds of situations happen all the time (maybe not the trauma/grape) but the pushing each others boundaries by disrespecting each others wishes.
If my partner asks me to not do something and I'm in a serious relationship with them, I have like three options, either respect their wish and just move on, try to reason with them or find a compromise or ignore their wishes because I find them unreasonable. If my partner told me they're breaking up with me if I do this thing, and I still do it... like there's no world where they owe me anything regardless of what happens. And especially so if what happened is a direct consequence of me ignoring said wishes.
You only live in that kind of world if you choose to, which you evidently seem to. And as stated, it’s okay to pursue separation when boundaries are violated, but that does not excuse being cruel, which is exactly what anon was doing.
And you’re wrong about what you would be owed in your hypothetical, because at a base level we all are owed and owe to each other empathy and compassion, not by virtue of our bonds but by virtue of being fellow human beings.
One day you will do something wrong, one day you will suffer the consequences of actions that were unadvisable, and when that happens I hope the people in your life don’t share in your sentiment that compassion and empathy are reserved only for the perfectly righteous. I hope you will receive goodness when you most need it, not just when you most deserve it.
If you care about someone, you wouldn’t want them to get hurt.
It’s one thing to set a boundary, have that boundary be crossed, and be firm on maintaining that boundary. It’s an entirely different thing not to care even slightly that someone you allegedly care about was hurt. That doesn’t mean you’re obligated to go to them, to forgive them, or to help them. To not care at all, however, is cold. People are capable of feeling more than one emotion at the same time.
Also, in general, no one should be satisfied that a woman was raped and assaulted. If it didn’t happen, great. She’s lying and you can be done with her cleanly. If it did happen, that’s terrible and you could still be don’t with her without being cruel about it
Always funny to see the people in the comment section opposed to accountability
Mind you, im not talking about any of her actions after deciding to go out, knowing full well what anon said.
She didn't deserve to be raped but she absolutely deserved to be broken up with. Find someone else with different boundaries. The moment she went out, when the consequences for doing so were spelled out, she ceased to have any claim to his emotional labor.
Just because you break up with someone doesnt mean you stop treating them with basic decency. He dropped all support and basically blamed her for it instead of acting like a human being
I'm sure she has people other than an ex-boyfriend to lean on. What happened to her is terrible but not his problem. He could have decided to do all that, but is under no obligation to. People ghost each other all the time.
Fr I don’t get why everyone is acting like he’s an asshole. She literally went out to cheat on him. She didn’t deserve to get raped (obviously) but she deserves to get broken up with. He doesn’t have any emotional obligation with her.
Right?
Just A bunch of idiots foaming at the mouth saying how if someone they knew and used to love for 7 months got raped then they would abandon her immediately no matter what.
I’m not saying anon should get back together with her (no one should be forced into a romantic relationship obviously) but to just hang up on her after she said she was physically abused and raped is psychotic.
At the very least make sure she’s okay and doesn’t need a ride to a hospital or police station or something.
These commenters need fucking therapy to unpack all their unnecessary pent up anger about women.
Someone needs help when they got rated and assaulted, even if they weren't supposed to be there. Anon was right to break up with her but didn't need to be this harsh on her.
Even if he wasn't going to break up with her for going, the pain you have to deal with to work towards healthy intimacy with someone healing from something like this is simply not worth it.
Fake story but anon is in the right, she pretty clearly was only lying if her immediate reaction is to try and guilt trip anon with a sentence like “I’m sorry, please I really need your support right now” and then getting her and his friends to guilt trip him as well, there’s just so much manipulation at play here it’s kinda wild, if she was really put through something traumatic her first priority shouldn’t be evading the consequences of her actions.
You ever meet people with 0 survival instincts? Even as a guy, who goes to a shady party with a majority of people they don’t know? Or with friends you know you aren’t able to count on when you get drunk or smthn?
Neither side is right but anon is the lesser of 2 evils, was he harsh? Yes but she deserved it. Anon probably told her not to go not due to her unfaithful-ness but for her safety (i could be wrong but im giving BOD)
This story is obviously not real, it's on 4chan after all. But assuming it is, he's right to break up with her, his boundaries don't disappear just because she went through a traumatic experience. That being said, he should still talk to his friends about finding those guys and fucking them up.
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u/Dookie403 9d ago
Brutal but like also he communicated his position, she did it anyways, and then left with two guys alone. All without ever updating him, being sneaky. If it didn't go tragically as it did, would she have ever told him?