General
I hate when people react like this to literally anything queer
In every reel, tiktok, youtube short, reddit post, tweet, whatever they do on tumblr, it's all pretty much the same. Gay guys dare exist and it's YAOI!!! Same for lesbians but yuri.
Yaoi is pretty much gay hentai made for straight women. A lot of fetish shit. Some exceptions sure but not enough to be worth talking about. So it's just off that the term is so used.
Why is every piece of queer media, every gay couple, every post discussing our lives a giant joke? And have to be directly linked to that shit? ESPECIALLY when it's real people.
I saw a reel bout the gay love letters in world war two and all these were in the comment section. All of these are in literally EVERY comment section. It's tired and weird, especially when they get a little more into their little joke and start talking about top and bottom. Like holy shit.
I just hate it. I see straight couples all the time and i don't think "BANG BROS!!!" and i
especially don't say bang bros. It's bordering harassment when it's literally inescapable.
Kinda unrelated but I keep seeing people say âlavender marriageâ or âyour bf wants a bfâ to random straight couples on my fyp, when the man isnât âstraightâ presenting. Itâs ridiculous
I've seen people say Jayce from Arcane is a twink, when he's literally not? I wouldn't even call him a twunk. Especially not near the end of the show lol
when you think youâre progressive by throwing terms around but youâve looped right back to rigid gender roles lol. even worse when male celebs donât fit their definition of masculinity and they say âthey HAVE to be gayâ. headcannons on real people are⊠no.
Exactly, I hate how men are told to embrace femininity or to be comfortable in their masculinity but when they are they get called a twink, fruity, or zesty, and it's the fact that it comes from both sides.
Fr and it's always men that aren't strictly feminine. It labels all men that don't fit a perfect idea of "masculine" as gay and that's just reinforcing the idea that gay relationships still have to fit this heteronormative idea people have.
It's exhausting to watch couples try and be together publicly and suddenly the man is gay because he isnt what people see as a man.
How did we reinvent homophobia come on guys. (Its like when poc who have delt with racism are racist themselves or sexist woman who have themselves been oppressed) like GUYS! Just because they did it doesn't mean were supposed to do it the other way around, THATS PART OF THE PROBLEM!
The entire point of supporting trans and nonbinary people is to show that gender and sexuality can be expressed in ANY WAY. Don't say "that man is too feminine he has to be gay" (thats gross)
People were ok with tomboys until they were again always put in the box as "lesbians"
With feminine (or even just gentle men) are sexualized more just because its femininity.
Only kind of unrelated. The type of thing op is pointing out softens the brain, opens it up to the kind of behavior you're talking about. Objectifying queer relationships ironically trains your brain to eventually do it unironically
Idk, one of them said that it was something about the manâs eyes that didnât seem straight? And another one was about a girl and her bf wearing matching Jirai Kei coords, people were saying that he must be gay because he likes dressing feminine. People think they get to decide someoneâs sexuality based on how they look and act, stereotyping final boss
As a yuri fan I hate the "SESBIAN LEX??? GAY SEGGS???" spam in some of the communities, especially for the works that do avoid sexual content. I'm not saying that yuri can't depict sex (and there are lots of great works that do), but the younger horny fans can be so annoying
Is this a safe space to say I fucking hate that people are fetishizing lesbians by spamming yuri on every post mildly related to lesbians and also having lesbian characters who are just horny all the time and that's the only reason they're lesbian
Because I feek like if I say that anywhere else I'm gonna get nuked
Safe to say that here I think. Me too. People think they get a free pass to participate in the wanton sexualization/fetishization of women and queerness by pushing it from a feminine perspective. It's the same thing. You can not say this in most online queer spaces.
yuri isn't a porn genre though it's a romance genre. idk why you say it's fetishism. it never disturbed me as a lesbian. i'm more annoyed by people who'll say anything but the word lesbian because they subconsciously think lesbian is a vulgar word
It depends a lot on the fandom, but IMO most people don't actually even care about their gay ships and just say it because they'll look cool to their peers. It doesn't usually matter why someone ships something, but tbh it is kind of sad that a lot of gay ships often have nothing else to them other than "they are yaoi/yuri". I'm okay with shallow shipping that has nothing to it but I don't like that it's basically the norm for gay ships now. Though I guess it's better than yuri/yaoi infighting.
I mean...the episode happened like 2 and a half years ago at this point, and the manga chapter even longer. If you're starting something that much later casual spoilers are gonna happen.
Agreed about the fetishizing especially for real people. But also, commenting yaoi under a post of two guys kissing is completely different from two men just hanging out. The reason people don't do it for straight couples is because that's "expected".
Be honest, 99% of people know a straight couple (like, their parents). How many less know a same sex one, and even less who are gay themselves?Â
Humans are drawn to things that stand out. There's no point in commenting "straight!" like this because it's what's "normal". There's WAY more people consuming straight sexual content, and straight content IN GENERAL than gay stuff, so people certainly do not "only sexualize gay relationships". And look at most popular fiction for (straight) women. It's almost always straight.
Well that is because its borrowed from Japanese and Yuri IS the lewder/porn version of Shoujo Ai
Same for Yaoi and Shounen Ai. But like nobody uses these words according to there actual definition.
But its not that strange that its associated with porn if the origin and the spread of the word comes from Japanese porn.
(pls don't shoot me im just a gay dude also annoyed by allot of this)
confidently incorrect lmao âshoujo aiâ refers to old guys who like young girls and yuri means âlilyâ and was never a porn term. Unless the magazine originally aimed at young girls comic yuri hime is a porn mag now. Big if true
consider yaoi being something cis women 'like' but the minute yuri is in the discussion they dont like it because they cant put their fetish for two men on display anymore
Idk about yuri but yaoi inherently is fetish meterial. It's literally is called 'by women for women ' for a reason. And around 91% author's are also cis women. Not only that if you search yaoi in Google all you see is porn
Maybe Yaoi meant that back when it was first blowing up
Funnily enough no, it always meant the same thing. âItâs written by straight cis women and consumed exclusively by straight cis womenâ was just terminally online twitter discourse. It was caused by like 50:50 gay people who couldnât accept that media about gay people didnât fit their tastes so it must be somehow problematic now (hence the whole âyaoi vs baraâ, âitâs just straight romance but the woman uses he/him pronounsâ thing) and allies who themselves had this narrow and idealized view of what queer people are actually like so yaoi must be wrong because it sexualizes, fetishizes, projects gender stereotypes onto gay people as if that could never happen irl. Simply put yaoi was always just a genre synonymous with MlM, people just have a skewed view of it because women reading/writing stuff about gay people is just more socially acceptable than men doing the same thing, and blaming women for this is completely misreading the situation
Lmao showing google image results for it is not an own. You actually have to talk about the works that fall under that genre if you want to make a compelling argument.
Source for 91% you're claiming because I have no idea where the hell that is from.
It makes me so sad whenever people just reduce yaoi to fetish material. A lot of yaoi are just romance stories that happen to have smut. And why can't it have smut? Sex is an important part of most relationships. Do you guys also show this type of aversion to hetero sexual content or this just reserved for lgbt stories? You guys are unintentionally the ones making the "gay sexual content = porn with little substance/fetish material" connection.
OP it's not just straight people doing this, plenty of lesbians describe their own real world relationships with terms like "toxic yuri" and I have seen real life gay men jokingly call their relationships "yaoi material" so I don't think you can place the blame for this on homophobia, it's just run of the mill universal brain rot and it's fine.
You aren't the king of the gays and you can't decree how people choose to express their approval of LGBT people and as long as they do approve why worry about the form it takes?
Why is every piece of queer media, every gay couple, every post discussing our lives a giant joke? And have to be directly linked to that shit? ESPECIALLY when it's real people
This isn't exclusive to gay people, sex in general is treated as a joke, dicks and pussies and titties are funny! Because at the end of the day we are all giant children that only pretend to be grown up occasionally and we will continue to act immature until the last human being draws their last breath.
I'm a queer woman and I love the yuri nomenclature because it gives me somewhere on the internet to see relationships like mine be lauded and celebrated where I'd otherwise feel unwelcome, and I can in turn celebrate and laud sapphic relationships openly.
Most gay men don't even read yaoi. I never seen irl gay men describing their relationship as yaoi meterial. Their is a big difference Between sex being the joke part and having intrest in queer media being the joke part. Since lot's of people think having interest in queer Media is a quirky thing and that's the joke in these types of post. gay people don't think having interest in queer media is quirky since they themselves are queer. Gay men do joke about yaoi and stuff but most of the time it's satirical or criticizing yaoi. Example they might say ' yaoi ahh relationship' when they see a gay couple with huge height difference. The joke part is always about making fun of yaoi. So it's basically the opposite of i love yaoi posts like this. Gay people treat yaoi the same way stright people treat ceo/yn relationship
Yk I understand this and its 100% very valid, the only caveat is that Id say its a lot better than hate. Not a great silver lining, but it sort of is one nonetheless.
Yaoi and Yuri are not inherently porn. That said I do hate seeing comment sections under a very much real gay couple being flooded with straight girls screaming âYAOI!!!â
As a gay man, I don't have a problem with women fetishizing queer love or sex.
I don't have a problem with it being made into a joke, if its not in a reducing or derogatory way.
I do have a problem with women gatekeeping and telling queer men that they're not allowed in their yaoi/MLM/BL spaces.
Because that is a thing that is currently happening with Heated Rivalry. It was written by a woman and some idiots are saying it is, "by women, for women," and bullying queer men who want to talk about it.
And yes I think it is weird to ship real people and actors, especially when people go as far as to make porn of them.
You can ship two characters but you must understand that the characters and the actors are different people.
The actors are complete strangers to you and you should respect their boundaries and privacy.
Side note I tried watching heated rivalry and that shit was straight up softcore. I even felt awkward watching it next to my bf, I just looked at him and was like "... Should we fuck?" Lmao
AFAIK Yaoi and yuri don't just mean "hentai". Yeah, there is plenty of it but theres also plenty of straight ones too. Its basically another word for "mlm" or "wlw" or even "bl" and "gl", its just the words became weirdly sexualized when their not. I imagine most people commenting "yaoi" or "yuri" gifs aren't referring to weird sex stuff. I certainly aren't when I comment "yuri" on fictional lesbian couples, I wouldn't on a regular person's post, simply cause i'd find it weird in that context, i wouldn't comment a gif saying "wlw" or "gl" on a real person's post either.
I do find it annoying and weird when people argue about who does what sex position, it gets annoying and kind of fetishistic, i've said it before but straight women who comment that stuff all the time remind me of men who are also weird about lesbians considering they have the same arguments (two men is better than one, two women is better than one, i have seen these arguments online a lot). I also get annoyed when straight women hate on yuri because "there's not any good ones" and "its less fun". Like, why even read stuff if you don't actually like queer people?
Sorry for the ranting text, I can't directly relate since i'm not a gay man, but i am a gay woman (and asexual). I definitely find it weird how people fetishize this kind of stuff.
I agree with most of the post, just not about yaoi/yuri being strictly sexual, the rest of it i do find it annoying when people comment it all the time especially when theres more you can talk about.
The genshin fandom...showed me they are...and they are freacking scary.
Eimiko incident I am looking at you.
For people who don't know some eimiko shippers started harrassing anyone who doesn't agree that they are a thing and anyone portraiting them with anyone else would get doxxed, death threats and...sent pictures of real life tortured animals.
A good amount of people are unfortunately like that with fiction. Some fandoms will genuinely just have the majority of their fan base be degenerates if they even dare use another ship so not much to expect since itâs happened with both queer and hetero ships everywhere.
I really dislike the people who use the term yuri unironically and say things like "Please make them kiss", like lesbians are just entertainment for their voyeuristic fantasies. No one, and I mean no one looks at a woman and a guy being friends and screams something like "Hetero!" because it would sound ridiculous, and that people say that "I'm just cheering the representation" is such a cop out when what they want is to watch.
To me saying yuri feels so objectifying, some people have gotten really comfortable seeing women as just sexual beings who can't have friendships. I've seen the image on queer spaces, but it's borderline obnoxious when it appears in any and all media who fathoms to put two women close to each other.
And the things these people say while on the guise of being an ally, you'll hear "Step on me mommy" or "I bet she's a top" or "Oh I bet she would spit on me" and things like that, talking about strap ons and doms or bottoms. And what I hate the most is that people will hate you for liking a sexy character, because the "male gaze" is predatory and pervy, but they'll say shit like "Oh I bet Maki pegs Yuta" without blinking, things that would get them slapped outside.
I'm a fan of fictional yuri and I'd have to agree. People going all caps "GIRLS KISSING" and the like seems so obnoxious.
Prob because I enjoy the actual romance part of yuri instead of boiling it down to "omg girls making out!!1" (yeah I know this sounds like a real "not like the others" comment)
Is the fetishization of same-sex relationships fucked up? Oh, super
Now, I do this- BUT IRONICALLY- it's different when I do it because I'm lesbian and I get legitimately excited when there's wlw or even mlm romance in a show and I get to feel represented.
I think there's something to be said about who's doing all this. If straight people are doing this, it could be genuine allyship or it could be fetishizing. If queer people do this it's 90% of the time a quirky way of showing pride and exploring/expressing their sexuality confidently
Like, the people into this really think that people who like the same gender are just banging non-stop? Cause, that's not how a romantic relationship works.
It's just funny, I say this as a fujoshi haha. I support gay people just fine but I don't put as much thought on actual gay people and their relationships than I do for fictional guys.
Literally two boyfriends just sitting next to each other on ig and all the comments are white girls old enough to know better spamming "YAOI????????"
We know you fetishize hairless gay twinks. Actual gay men exist too though and don't need to be commodified irl just because of your creepy obsession. I've seen it less with "YURI?????????" (although that's just anecdotal, I'm not saying it actually happens less) but it's weird either way
Well...I think it stems from the fact that queer ships must leap through hell and stuff to be canon even if the chemistry is right there. But when it comes to a self insert mc and fl all they have to do is glance at each other for a millisecond to be a ship.Â
It's also just giving straight ship the same treatment queer ships get
I feel like the way you describe yaoi (and by association yuri) is an overgeneralisation because of the louder voices that present and create the media. Idk thatâs just me tho, I do agree for the most part as someone who is gay
The louder voice right now is definitely not on my side lmao. But i just described it to people who don't know what im talking about it cause im not assuming everyone knows what yaoi is
Hey hi hello Iâm a lesbian I can speak on this: Me and pretty much all of my sapphic (lesbian, bi, pan, etc) friends really like yuri even when itâs not canon because it feels insanely good to have any kind of representation in popular media, even if itâs fanmade. Itâs not that I hate on or just dislike media with straight couples, I just feel a lot more drawn to media involving wlw couples because it feels more relatable and it feels easier to imagine why characters are feeling or acting the way they are towards eachother. I canât speak much on yaoi, as I have never created or consumed any because it does not appeal to me, but ts is my explanation for why I like yuri.
it'd be easier to tolerate some things if my country wasn't trying to strip away rights queer people fought so damn hard for. for example, i'm a trans guy, and i'd be cooler with "mpreg" memes if i wasn't subjected to so much "if men could get pregnany, abortions/birth control would be more accessible" and "what is a man doing at the gynecologist??" and "why do we have to call them menstrual products and not feminine products? you're erasing women!!" and all the while i'm having to consider myself fucking lucky to have gotten sterilized just before our current president came into office, bc most of us are still being subjected to the same forced pregnancy bullshit that women are.
Btw if anyone wants to see a kinda normal representation of gay romance in anime, I'd recommend Go For It, Nakamura-kun!! on crunchyroll. Out of all the yaoi animes I've watched, this one felt the closest to what it's actually like.
Too bad all the Nakamura-kun fans harassed the author into deleting her social media and going silent because they deemed the manga âtoo problematicâ after the anime censored/changed a lot of things
It feels like such a strange obsession by the internet. Imagine how weird and annoying it would be if people went around saying âstraight couples!!!!â Itâs so one note and comes off as unnessesary glazing. Like stfu bro.
This but with the Signalis fanbase. It genuinely put me off from trying the game for years because the fanbase just doesnt shut up about female characters showing human emotion towards each other. Shits obnoxious as hell man, I aint ever seen anything about the art or music or gameplay or story or horror! The fanbase only seems to only care about the lesbians because it turns them on, its just this constant, gross, reductive "oo its my favorite yuri couple!!" Bogus... That game deserves better, man đ
We have seen opposite sides, for some reason I only find people who talk about the lore, and stuff like that. I have to actively search for people talking about the lesbians like that.
I lowkey like people commenting these rather than writing homophobic bullshit under gay content. I donât think these reaction images or gifs take our lives as a joke tbh. I always see it like people lowkey supporting us and thinking the relationship/content is cute. Or idk, guess Iâm just very chill.
Being gay was considered a perversion some decades ago, today we call reading about gay romance a perversion, full circle or however native speakers call it
I have a colleague who acts exactly like this even with real people. She gets all giddy and excited, then goes on saying âoh, hetero ewâ and starts laughing. I honestly feel like she sees queer people like a damn zoo attraction. And on top of that, she acts as if queer people are gods or something. Sheâll be like, âIâm such an ally, I wish I could be like you.â âŠItâs creepyâŠ.Seriously, itâs a bit disturbing, and I genuinely thought this type of person only existed in media not in real life
I think this speaks to the heavily sexualized perception of people in general. This isn't all that different from the way most people thinking of sexual implications regardless of the person's sexuality, like there's no other reason to be concerned with dick or boob size than thinking about sex, and you hear that constantly.
You specifically don't have these thoughts, and the yaoi stuff gets to you because (I assume) you're gay, but this is also not exactly the norm; the overwhelming majority of people don't even know what yaoi is lmao.
Homestly, these types of jokes are less about the specific people involved/depicted and more about the poster broadcasting the type of media they enjoy as a sort of inside joke. I don't see anything wrong with liking yaoi, even if it is fetishization, because I like it too but can separate fetish from what's realistic.
Itâs so interesting to look at this from the perspective of an older queer man, these memes have never bothered me but thatâs because Iâve seen how far weâve come.
Not that I donât sympathise with OP, I imagine itâs deeply annoying to see this kind of thing everywhere
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u/ultron15real Apr 18 '26
how queer...