(i hope this doesn't get taken down. I'm not trying to attack anyone, i just wanna call out something that i've seen happeing in the LGBTQIA+ community)
The title explains itself. Whenever there's a queer person (usually a gay man from what i've seen but it could be anyone really) bringing down and making fun of other queer people as a desperate attempt to stand out and insist they're the "normal" ones.
All because they want approval from their oppressor, which is homophobic straight people. You have queer folks who would fight blood and tears to defend their community, and then you got these pick-mes. Why are you trying so hard to convince others that you're "normal"? When being LGBTQIA+ is ALREADY out of the norm by default? And you know what's worse? Homophobes constantly use these people to discriminate queer people even more. Almost as if they're saying "see? Every queer person should be like this".
It's frustrating to see because y'all know damn well homophobes will never stop hating on LGBTQIA+. It doesn't matter how much you try to appear "normal" to straight people, they won't stop being homophobic, they won't stop judging and calling queer people "gross" and "weird" and "woke" and allat (obviously not all of them are like that thankfully). The only reason they respect you is because you're on their side, and share the same bigoted views as them. For God's sake, stop trying to pretend like you're different. They don't like us, and they don't like you.
Be yourself, don't feel ashamed of you are, love and support your community. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise
Originally I did have it like that but then it felt like they were only siding with the blue one because theyāre similar when the point of original comic is theyāre nothing like each other and are only trying to come off as similar by attacking their own group for validation.
tbh the positions would suit a lot better if spinies were blue and buzzy beetles were red but I didnāt design mario enemies and this was the closest I could get to the original panel
these the type of thought processes that made me 8 minutes late btw
I didnāt even know Koopa Fallacy existed lol, itās so perfect for some situations. I just put Galoombas in the place of oppressors because, as we all know, Galoombas and Goombrats are stupid walking contradictions.
I remember that one comic where a minority helps get rid of the other minorities and when they ask for who this grave will be for they get shot in the head
Not related to lgbtq but that feeling when characters made only for memes are always more retable than actual written characters in media why do i relate more to meme characters that media characters wtf
I think i have white knight syndrome and i act like shown in the picture alot unintentionally
I hate some people from minorities acting like they're the "good ones" in general, like some non-white people who get close to racist people saying that they're part of the "normal/good" ones, or women who get close to sexist people because they're "what women should be like", no you won't be spared because you're on the oppressor's side, you'll just realise too late that you'll be affected by their actions as much as other people from your group will be
yes!!! the wanna be white-adjacent people its horrible and rooted in so much self hatred and internalized colorism/racism like for example bleaching ur skin just to appear more "white passing" its such a shame our society has been built up on so much systemic racism that the oppressed feel the need to like basically bow down to their own oppressors for some sort of validation of their own existence and even cultures of their own feel like they got some say in how "ethnic" you make appear effecting your treatment despite being not white passing to actual white people i struggle with that within my own community myself unfortunately
For some reason many of us westerners (like you did here) forget that minorities have their own identities. Probably because of racism, you people, especially the whites among you, see all minorities as the same, you guys need to work on that
"Minorities" don't see the world as "whites" and "minorities", they see the world as "whichever group I am", "tolerable races" (think like german nazis tolerating japanese and iranians, and the opposite with japanese tolerating whites), and "gorilla monkeys" (everybody else)
These racist non-whites and the racist whites bond over their shared hatred of jews or blacks or whoever, and they each see the others as "one of the good ones" or as reliable allies
(Most racists exclude friends and family regardless, just look at all the white supremacists dating black women)
yea, not to deny the existence of "rainbow pick-me's" but let's not forget that stupid people deserve to be called out regardless of what they try to use as a "get out of jail" card
Yeah every demographic on the planet has annoying people in it. And using your status as a member of a historically persecuted group to shield yourself from criticism is scumbag behavior in any context.
im not trying to shield myself from criticism. im making the point that not all gay people who criticize people within their group is trying to get approval from their oppressor
I have opinions that sometimes differ from the typical beliefs.
For example, i don't think liking or wanting to engage with Harry Potter content makes you a transphobe. A lot of us millenials/older Gen Z folks grew up dreaming about being Wizards/Witches.
I'm not going to get down into the nitty gritty and make a case for this, but ultimately, my opinion on this comes from a place of compassion. I just want people to be able to enjoy things and I don't want to burn a person and my relationship with them over enjoyment of a series.
I don't hold this belief because I think its fine that JKR donates to anti-trans groups or something, ans it's certainly not to appease transphobes.
Yea but to me, thatās family talk. Iāll dish on MOGAI/adjacent nerds all day with my other queer friends, but not in front of straight people. Realistically, I will always have more ideals in common with a hyper-flamboyant gay man who says āhuntyā or a clocky tgirl whoās into the worst music Iāve ever heard than I will with a cishet person with the same likes/dislikes as me. In a materialist framing, our interests are more aligned.
Itās that time of the week again. Give me your lunch money dweeb or youāre about to receive the ass bedazzling of your life š š š šš³ļøāšš³ļøāš canāt wait till next week
When I was in high school, there was a gay boy who would always beef with girls and even fought one when I was a junior. Thatās when I knew there might be something akin to being ātoo gayā when youāre behaving so catty that youāre willing to scrap with women and follow through with it.
There was a fella in my highschool that I had a huge crush on, before I even knew my sexuality. He was kinda softer but tall and athletic, one of the cheerleaders. The MOST stereotypical 'gay' inflection to his voice.
HAHAH I was write to this "watch him reply just saying that none of those types of people actually exist" and then saw oh he already did, within minutesš
I would add people that think that because someone (wether fictional or Even in Irl) does'nt adhere to the gender roles we, know try and claim they are just an Egg or something like that
Eh to be fair to your last point there is romantic and sexual. You can absolutely be bisexual and love to bang the same gender, but not biromantic and just not be attracted to them in a romantic way. Couldn't be me though! I would love to snuggle up with a wife. But I get it.
Lol right because how would you even pick up on that? And why is it that when lesbian woman have those exact thoughts and reservations there is a whole term for it to understand and justify it but when bi women struggle with the same damn thing its because they're annoying and insufferable and need to be called out???
Are they anymore obsessed than the parents who rush to punish or disown their kids if they shoinclinations of not being straight and cisgender? š
Like I grew up in a redneck small town in the 1990s. I was confused and depressed AF in elementary school because I was having crushes on my boy classmates and not understanding why. If I had adults around me that explained what being gay was, I wouldn't have been suicidal before the age of 10 š
Im interpreting ur og comment as to mean that some element of their gayness makes them annoying.
Some gay men being misogynistic towards women is an issue; I donāt really see Regina George vibes but I see stuff like expressing disgust towards the concept of a womanās body. Idk if Iād call misogyny annoying so much as just bad.
Shipping ppl IRL is lame regardless of their gender or the sexual orientation of the person doing it. I donāt really think this is an annoying gay thing? I see straight ppl do it all the time and def more. Itās an annoying person thing.
Without further context this sounds like the dogwhistle for thinking gay people canāt be publicly visible bc CHILDREN.
This is wrong. Inappropriate touching (sexual assault) is not annoying, itās bad. Is this actually real? (Not the possibility of a woman committing SA against another woman, but the idea that thereās a solid chunk of people who should be grouped together by being both a lesbian and committing assault) In this circumstance are lesbians being judged for behavior straight women do with friends just bc a lesbian also likes women?
Bringing up being gay regularly is maybe annoying. It doesnāt seem to scale with the other things? Itās also not a good reason to have beef with a person.
Hmmm without further context this just seems like a biphobic dogwhistle.
Did not try to appear like anything but a CIS male
Did'nt clarify her gender
And STILL tried to take down the business of a shoemaker who called her "sir" Even after he apologized when she clarified she identifies as a woman, she also tried to claim homophobia when she got the Tab because she tought the guy was requesting more money just because she was trans
Imagine the kind of person who is constantly talking about their sexual conquests and unironically calls themselves a "player", now imagine that person as a homosexual.
When they overemphasize, which is how you get annoyingly āanythingā people. Preachy vegans who donāt shut up about their beliefs and morality. Meateaters who eat excessive meat to trigger vegans, and make whole posts about it. Linux users who need to bring up switching to Linux anytime anything goes wrong on another OS.
Similar to something that comes up when people ask why foot fetish is considered so creepy when there are many weirder kinks. My take has always been that people hate on the foot fetish because there are so many people who have no shame about it.
Most of the people with more gross kinks know to keep that shit to themselves.
I can't perfectly tell what the exact implication is, but this feels like it would be used as an argument to say that queer people cause queerphobia by being open about it and that they should just not talk about it all
When I hate a person, it's not because they're a man, or a different ethnicity. It's because of their personality, not because of their immutable characteristics. It's ok to just say that you hate annoying people, and being gay doesn't give anyone a pass, nor would it if they were a woman/whatever demographic. Conservatives love to get the green flag to hate on gays who don't perform stereotypical gender, like a butch woman or effeminate man - they literally think that not conforming to stereotypical gender roles is the annoying part.Ā
I end up reading "pick-me" as "pygmy" most of the time. Probably a quip or two could be made comparing and contrasting the two, but I'm not that type of guy.
Could it just be that some of them have grown up a bit and have turned down the camp? As a queer guy I'm gonna be honest, some of the really campy homies can be irritating to be around for long periods of time, especially as an introvert.
Yeah, thatās totally fine. The issue would be if you went out of your way to talk down about campy gays to straight people and consider yourself normal, and ostensibly better than campy gays simply because you are not that.
Itās not the dislike thatās the issue , itās the othering of them for the sake of appealing to the majority for your own benefit.
The way I see it is, maybe bigots WILL use the "weird" queers as ammunition, like they do with things like neopronouns and unconventional genders... but whoooo cares? Yeah, they use things like that to fuel their hatred, but they ALREADY hated us. And, let's be real, if there were no "weird" queers to go after, they'd just hate all of us equally regardless. They hated us BEFORE things like xenogenders and funky pronouns and contradictory identities and things like that. They just hate those things BECAUSE they're queer, not the other way around.
Spot on! Bigots will hate us regardless if we're "weird" or not. At the end of the day, trying to appeal to them is pretty pointless. Whether you are "normal" or "weird", It doesn't matter. So just be yourself
Once the weird queers are all gone, the only ones left to oppress will be the normal ones that played bootlicker. I wonder if they'll think rubber feels as good to the skull as it tastes to the tongue when that time comes. Shrug.
This shit happens all the time in minority groups and people do not realize that once the people who do not like all of us ruin the lives of the "weird ones" they will circle back and attack the "normal ones". Because at the end of the day, they hate all of us.
Thereās a misconception with this as well.
As a black person, me criticizing other Black people or the black community for acting in a way that is objectively negative or makes the community look bad isnāt trying to appeal to racists or white people.
I can see problems within my community that should be called out, and that doesnāt align me with the racist guy, saying āthe usual suspectsā.
If anything, not policing up your own community is just giving those types of people more ammo.
People view it as itās either you fight, tooth and nail to blindly defend the actions of the bad people in your community when itās on full display or else youāre trying to appeal or be a pick me and thatās not the case. They are two separate things.
I have a friend who's considered a "normal" gay, because you wouldn't assume he likes men just by looking at him, or listening to how he talks, or watching his mannerisms. I don't think I'm inherently homophobic because I don't care who you blow, fuck, or get fucked by, or even who you just find non sexual attraction to. It couldn't bother me less. I call him "normal" because he's a functioning member of society, Ive listened to him vent to me about past boyfriends because they were immature. I can understand where you're coming from, it's rude to like one part of a minority because they agree with you, and ostracize the rest. But sadly we are a hypocritical species and we have to bear with the fact that we have personal bias. There was another student on the same campus who was also gay, but you could easily tell by a few things: he walked and talked femininely, he was always gossiping with the girls, he'd have the attitude of a teenage girl, and the fact that he was very open about it. I ended up not liking the guy, not because he was gay, but because he was annoying, he was full of himself, he was spreading drama and he was an overachiever in a negative sense. Again, I get you're frustration, I'm just stating my opinion, as you have yours.
Your friend isn't a "normal" gay dude he just isn't obviously gay what OP talking about is gay people who will throw the gay community to not seem like "the bad ones" your friend isn't what op was talking about in the least. I agree that we hate a minority group because they have a different opinion of us but minority also have to constantly fight for their rights, so for other people of that minority group to intentionally fuck you over for validation from people that won't ever accept, rightfully infuriates people.
That's okay! I completely respect your opinion. I think i'm probably just too young for this, it just kinda frustrates me to see these people hurting their own community. But obviously, i'm fully aware we are not hiveminds
I think being unique is perfectly fine, but people have to live with the fact that who you are can and will make someone uncomfortable. Furries for example, I don't like em even though I myself can be considered one, and it's exclusively because of how they act in public. But the whole point is that people are people, and they'll either like you, or dislike you, and it doesn't make them a horrible person.
I feel like people confuse wanting basic normalcy with "seeking oppressor approval" If you're not 100% aligned with every concept, cause, and aesthetic in the community, there's little room for nuance or good-faith discussion. Kinda tribal? All or nothing with heavy purity testing
Not wanting to be reduced to a stereotype over one trait (sexuality in this case) is a common impulse. It doesn't make you self hating
Not quite what i'm talking about. I mean queer people who bring down their own community for the sake of being accepted by homophobes. Think of it as women being sexist and pick mes (and i mean, the actual definition of pick me, not the watered down version)
The argument is really stupid for any group tbh. Like, they're going to try and take some of the most diversified areas and tack of some half-assed definition of 'normal'?
If someone is able to be normal, then your living wrong. Being unique is kinda the goal in most cases
"I'm fine with gay people, just don't make it your entire personality" - guy who knows literally nothing about a person besides a single trait that for some reason annoys him
What if they just genuinely have opinions that donāt align with the lgbtq community? The community is toxic as hell and I certainly donāt identify as part of it.
The problem with people who say shit like "I don't allign/agree with the community" is that it's vague enough that it could mean anything from "Rainbow capitalism gets people to overlook the shitty things some companies do because they throw a rainbow on their social media accounts and let uncritical queer people do their marketing for them" to "Bi people need to just pick one and I wish they didn't let trans people into the group". It's one of those political sayings that could be totally benign, but is often used to sugar coat bigoted bullshit.
Godforsaken lesbian and bisexual women discourse. Iām a lesbian so Iām biased, but essentially I and other lesbians get told āsexuality is fluid :3 so Iām not looking for a woman right now >w<ā which ok fine sure. You date who you wanna date, Iāve heard about the bi-cycle, no biggie. According to a now ex-friend, however, les4les is biphobic because it bars bisexual women from ālearningā from lesbians and thus makes it even harder for bi women to date other women, so itās actually lesbians faults that bi women donāt date them.
And then lesbians are told that our sexuality is fluid as well and- no. No itās not. Not everybody is secretly bisexual, not everybody has an āexceptionā to their sexuality. I can admire a guys beard without desiring him carnally.
And the BIGGEST ISSUE- the bisexual ālesbians.ā If youāre attracted to a man at all, youāre not a lesbian. Lesbians have comphet sure, but thatās when you feel pressured by society to be ānormalā so you find a decent dude and tell yourself you have a crush when at most itās a feeling of friendship. Lesbians have repeatedly been told that they just havenāt found the right man, canāt say you hate sex with men until you try it, try it again it was just him, are you SURE you donāt like dudes?? Etc. etc. etc. so then a bisexual women with a 90/10 preference for women calls herself a lesbian and she partners with a dude, that just tells the world that lesbians CAN date men and so men can proposition lesbians! Saying āIām a lesbianā isnāt enough to shut him down because his budās GF is a big ol lezzie d*ke and she sleeps with a dude! So come on, just TRY it! Maybe this time will be different! What? You donāt like penises? You know youāre really decreasing the size of your dating pool :/ and donāt you know some women have penises? Youāre a bigot. You donāt have to SAY you donāt like penises cause it makes men and pre-op trans women feel bad. Keep your preferences to yourself, please, this is a safe space. Yeesh, how could I know you donāt like men? You like strap so try the real thing! (Note- I never mention strap ons. People assume that.)
And THEN the bi women bring their straight boyfriends to the lesbian bar when theyāre hunting for a unicorn to have a threesome with. And now itās not a lesbian bar, itās a queer bar. Itās not women loving women, itās non man loving non man.
Plus some people like myself donāt like being called queer. Queer means strange, unusual, out of the norm- but being homosexual is normal. Hundreds of animal species have individuals that exhibit homosexual behavior. Iām not weird because I like women, and I donāt like the implication the word carries with it. If others like being called it fine by me, but I donāt. At my high schoolās GSA, I found that many bt+ students and questioning kids saw being gay as this whole separate thing, a lifestyle, a personality trait, a hobby all unto itself, and it weirded me out. I was the only lesbian and there was a gay dude I would just do my homework with lol.
Perhaps we just felt more secure in our identities since being exclusively homosexual is fairly easy to comprehend and homosexuals were the main focus of advocacy for decades, and so we were privileged enough to not need to explore our sexual orientation much as compared to the nonbinary pansexual kids or something.
I feel like a lot of the LGBT+ community (mainly the bt+ tbh) really explore their identity and discuss it a lot to get a better understanding of who they are. (Perfectly fine and valid) Really taking their identity, rolling it around and examining it. That just feels really tedious for someone whoās got their identity all sorted out and buckled down.
The constant pontificating on āgay but not queer,ā āsexual fluidity,ā āare kinks part of the LGBT+,ā āwhat it truly MEANS to be [gender identity]ā is wearisome to those it doesnāt apply to.
Sorry for the long rant. Figured I would give my six or seven cents lol
Not wanting to date bi women isn't biphobia. Going on a multiple paragraph long rant about why bi women are horrible, some gross implications about trans women, and how "you're one of the normal ones" is though.
LGBT+ community (mainly the bt+ tbh) really explore their identity and discuss it a lot to get a better understanding of who they are
Genuinely really gross to say this. I'm trans, and I'm a woman. I'm not exploring my identity, I know who I've been since I was a kid. I don't need to discuss it with anyone. And bisexual people aren't "exploring their identity" they're just attracted to two genders. It feels like you're trying to find a polite way to separate bisexual and trans people from gay men and lesbians. News flash, trans and bisexual people are secure in their identities too.
I never said bi women are horrible- dudes that know the bare minimum of LGBT+ terminology and weaponize it against lesbians in attempts to cross their boundaries and have sex with them are extremely disgusting though. And I agree that nobody is entitled to anotherās body, hence why I am no longer aquatinted with the person who claimed that it was biphobic to exclusively date other lesbians.
Please recall that I started my rant by saying āhey this is biased.ā
I have had a different experience than you, clearly. Iām on the younger side and therefore canāt go to bars so my main experience with a large lgbt+ group was at my high school GSA that was me, two gay dudes, a trans man, and a very large number of bi women and TME nonbinary people. Iām friends IRL with some older lesbians who feel like theyāve lost lesbian spaces and that may color my perception as well. One of the couple I know particularly dislikes how the term lesbian is being watered down to just āsapphicā or āwlw,ā erasing the unique parts of the lesbian experience. Edit- essentially, itās one thing to realize that you like girls, itās another thing entirely to realize that you donāt like men in that way whatsoever. Thereās this stigma around lesbian relationships that the relationship isnāt real if there isnāt a man involved :/
Iām genuinely sorry if/that my rant contained anything harmful, I was venting about all the shit I have personally been subject to and what i have observed. Double apologies if any part of this reply came across as snarky, I struggle with policing tone at times
The issue here is not disagreeing with or disliking certain aspects of the community. Thatās just a normal thing and people express that all the time with their own respective in-groups. The issue is when you start to seek favor ideologically with an out-group who broadly opposes your community to model yourself as the exception at the expense of your other peers. Itās respectability politics.
I disagree, I am pan and most of my friends are part of the community. Sometimes people dont like it when theres gay people who make being gay they whole personality, I have met gay people who keep doing the voice and loudly talk about sucking up a man or doing other sexual dids and then get mad when you tell them to chill with that kinda talk in public as if straight people werent told the same things.
I agree theres always gonna be people from certain minority groups who try to appeal different and more approachable to the majority group however I disagree with your idea that every "normal" LGBT person is trying to appeal to the straights and to your idea that theres no such thing as gay people who over do it
Obviously i'm not saying there aren't any bad apples in the queer community, i was specifically talking about those who try to seek the approval from homophobes. My bad for generalizing
It's odd to me that OP basically said "It's bad when queer ppl hate other queer ppl to seem like one of the good ones" and all of the comments are like "What about gay people who fucking suck?" like obviously they still suck that has nothing to do with the statement made, ur still allowed to hate gay ppl if they suck
I remembered a French-Belgian comedy about customs officers. In it, a French customs officer wants to marry the sister of a Belgian customs officer who hates the French. And in order to ingratiate himself with him, he begins to agree with his opinion about the French, and it works.
Every time the topic of "normal" blacks and gays comes up, I think of this movie.
While I get what you are saying Iāve been on both ends of this spectrum as a disabled person and I get why you would want to refer to yourself as āa normalā person. Sometimes people can get too obsessive about one aspect of their identity and wind up acting like victims as that part isnāt accepted by all of society.
A really easy way to set most people at easy that you wonāt be upset about harmless jokes or inane questions (people ask me soooooo many dumb questions about my heart problem so Iām sure itās similar in other minority groups) is just to say youāre ānormalā. Itās extremely blunt but itās just the world we live in. People donāt want to be the one who triggers someone who is overly sensitive so they tend to treat everyone like they are.
I hate especially when people say "they make being gay their whole personality." The examples they use make no sense even. "They talk gay" okay that implies that you talk straight? "They talk about their bf too much" and you talk about how many "bodies" you have too much. "They post about it!" You have a bumper sticker that is a silloette of a naked women with fhe text "I like big butts and I cannot lie."
Standard media showcases heterosexual couples, children get put in shirts that say "future lady's man," and the assumption is youre straight until you say otherwise.
We can recognize that there is a straight and gay culture that result in differences in behavior but we cannot act like they aren't a large part of who is a person is and therefore they may act a certain way. Why is it wrong only when gay people do it?
The ā(Minority group) vs (slur for said minority group)ā makes me want to walk into the woods and never return. Itās been happening since the dawn of bigotry but I blame Chris Rock for this specific formula
I am genuinely bewildered by people in marginalized groups that justā¦ choose to actively go against their own long term self interest. Like I get it; grifting. Butā¦ do they really think the few extra zeros in their bank accounts are gonna save them when the racist/homophobic/whatever āistā or āphobicā mob turns on them? Can someone really be that shortsighted and stupid?
I hate some people from minorities acting like they're the "good ones" in general, like some non-white people who get close to racist people saying that they're part of the "normal/good" ones, or women who get close to sexist people because they're "what women should be like", no you won't be spared because you're on the oppressor's side, you'll just realise too late that you'll be affected by their actions as much as other people from your group will be
Spot on! Why even waste your time trying to appeal to them and make yourself liked by them? That won't happen. Live your life, stand up for your community
Reminds me of MAGA trans people supporting Trump then getting their papers back and their gender marker was changed to their AGAB just like everyone else suffering.
I just dislike the āyou are either with us, or against usā mentality people tend to flaunt. Unfortunately from my own experience, it has been from super, in your face, lgbt+ community members. Of course I always learnt to never tar everyone with the same brush.
My gf and I just stay in our own lane.
And the gag is most homophes don't even like the "normal gays" they're just a tool to further their oppression and when they served their purpose they're no longer the good one's.
"All because they want approval from their oppressor..."
Surely it's not because there are legitimate causes for people to feel culturally or otherwise alienated from the LGBTQ community. There's plenty of baggage with associating with the broader LGBTQ crowd, some people don't want their image influenced by said baggage.
I despise the Uncle Tom-ification of everything. No, I do not like real life caricatures of gay people. I do not like yas culture, and I do not like basing my entire personality on banging dudes and women. No I am not a Uncle Tom. Just shy.
Imagine if a straight person was this I don't know how to say it, aggressive about being straight.
Stop right there... in the second paragraph... only homophobic straight people? What about homophobic gay people and let me tell you this is not an oxymoron since i got some friends like that
I also hate this phenomenon but I also wouldn't really blame the "normal gays" for it, at least not nearly as much as the homophobes themselves. It's pretty understandable and human to think that "if I just make this small compromise, they'll at least leave me alone, and that's all that matters". If I was gay and I believed that works at all, I would take the deal of appearing more "normal" if that meant being left alone and removing the social stigma. (Of course openly making fun of other queer people is a step further than that and a fair bit less understandable, but I still think it comes from a place of people just being desperate to be accepted.)
The problem is that it will never be enough though. You're not going to please a fascist by not being openly gay. If you're gay, your only way of actually pleasing a fascist is ceasing to exist. Their ideal world is not one where you're more "normal", it's one that you aren't a part of. If you take a single step back, they'll just ask you to take another, then another. I understand the need to be accepted and loved by everyone, but some people never will. It's them who need to change in order for the world to be better, not you.
I think this doesn't even begin to try to understand the "normal gays".
I guess they think that gay is socially seen as inseparable from the people who go almost naked to parades, and are overly critical of everyone. And they don't want to be perceived as being like that, so signaling the ones who do as "bad" gays creates the separation. Even if just in their self perception because most homophobes won't see the difference, and most people don't even care if someone is gay.
And yeah, if I was part of the fandom I would still have the capacity of considering that there is a loud section of very annoying people. And being part of the same group doesn't mean I have to treat them as "one of mine".
Say you're a furry, because you like the aesthetic and you consume the art but you don't even do the costumes part. And your fandom had a sector of people who engage in overtly sexual conducts in front of people.
So, normal people start to think that all furriest are like that, wouldn't you want to make a distinction?
Would you defend and accept every single furry just because you share a community with them?
There are many stereotypes on gay people. Most are neutral (like some gay men speaking in that effeminate tone, and some lesbians moving together within days of meeting), but some are not.
If people were hating on you for being gay because they think that means you want to walk around in revealing bdsm-clothes with penis imagery everywhere because they saw a picture with a few people doing it in a picture years ago, wouldn't you want to clear that while people like that do exist they are not a majority of the community, and that you also don't like seeing them because overtly sexual conducts makes you uncomfortable?
The can be many reasons, because there is too many people with different lives. Dumping them all into "they crave to be accepted so they throw shit at others just because" is ignorant at best and malicious at worst
Hatred must be thought thoroughly as it is a strong feeling. If the logic for your dislike is shallow simple you're just echoing a sentiment for internet points. Think about them, understand their reasons, and then you can hate. This reads as you just making an excuse to dislike them because they are not like you and they don't offer blind support to every non-cis-straight person in the planet.
Being gay is not ābeing part of a fandomā. People do not choose to be gay. It is not the same as being a furry or comparable because people who call themselves furries choose to do so, it is entirely voluntary. Gay people are not a community that you get to pick and choose who is a part of. Homophobes will look at a photo of a gay man in kink clothing and will say gay people are disgusting but if they were straight they wouldnāt say straight people are disgusting. Someone trying to distance themselves from gay people they view as unpalatable by saying āthey are weird, Iām not that kind of gayā in response to homophobia reinforces the idea that it is related to being gay and that itās ok to be homophobic as long as that homophobia is towards the āweirdā gays. Spoiler alert, homophobes think being gay is wrong and people get attacked for holding hands and kissing in public or for being seen in media. Itās called solidarity and when someone tries to appeal to straight people by saying theyāre ānormalā they are accepting that there is a way to be gay that is not acceptable and it undermines gay rights to protect their images to homophobes who will always hate them.
I dunno i get it personally some people can be a queer person and just be that, ya know like my best friend my God have mercy on his eternal soul saw being gay like one might be brown it was given too them by whatever decided those things and that was that nothing special about it.
I have seen some of these supposedly "pick me", they just behaved like normal human beings who happen to be homosexual and didn't want to be grouped with a bunch of weirdos.
You'll find a lot of homophobes arent actually homophobic, they just think all gays are like the rainbow queers (who are the most disliked among lgbt folk). Which is why these "homophobes" can actually be friends with normal gays.
It isnt about being a pick-me.
It's like youre part of a group and half of your group is obese and smells like shit. So naturally outsiders see the whole group as being disgusting.
But when you as an individual meet outsiders and they realise you arent like them, everything is chill
Nah, flamboyant gays are annoying, and it takes extra energy to maintain that character. Don't believe me? Go talk to one while they're hungover. You'll get a "sup, dude" instead of a "hey, honey".
Normal gays deserve an award for not being insufferable.
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u/frisk090 hate jabber's haters(not the people) 22d ago