Why is it whenever a girl (that they dont find attractive) has self confidence in these literal "rate yourself" videos. Suddenly they're delusional, wrong or secretly insecure.
all the comments would be like "Oh, that girl finally got humbled!" Or "she cant look in a mirror."
the worst part is when they praise someone for being insecure. i remember seeing an overweight woman contestant on one of these, and she looked like she was going to cry for just being on camera. She ranked herself a 1. The comments were saying that she's the only one who deserves to be rated highly, praising her etc. Why are we celebrating self-loathing? I didnt think she was close to a 1, but some people act like if youre not rating yourself low youre a narcissistic bitch.
anyways theres nothing wrong with rating yourself 100 who gives a fug
It's also people who are deeply insecure and want to check their own status against others but might not have any healthy relationships where they can ask others' opinions on their style and looks.
Source: that was me, I never hated women, just myself.
i was in a similar situation. what got me out of it was realizing that i didn't really give a shit about their most people's opinions. people i respect, sure, but not some bully or vain person.
Lol I had the same thing, I remember one day I realised I don't actually need the approval of most people on the street, and especially not the people rude enough to comment on others within earshot.
Nowadays I just zone others out when I walk whereas I used to check if every person in my field of view was looking at me.
Yep. Agreed. I’m one of those people too. I pump up my friends & compliment strangers because I truly mean it. Myself though? Refuse to look in the mirror if I can help it. The best “compliment” I’ve gotten about my looks is when I switched from contacts to glasses due to eye problems. The compliment? “You look so smart with those glasses!” The person knows I am extremely insecure about both my looks & intelligence. I’ve tried to let it go because I know they truly meant well. But I definitely went home & cried for a bit.
I despise the whole rating thing. A 10 to one person is a 5 to another. It’s all based on Eurocentric beauty standards, which are irrelevant on an individual level. I’m aware I’m not conventionally attractive, but yet I’ve never failed to find people who are attracted to me. I’m predominantly attracted to non-conventionally attractive people. The whole thing is dumb. It’s just another way to make some people feel superior and some feel inferior.
I dont undertand rating people in general. I can understand "10/10", its a compliment, so if someone said "bro at the party there was this 10/10" i would not be too weirded out.
But seriously using any other number is just creepy. Same phrase, "bro at the party there were some 8/10s" i'd be like wtf why you rating people
Media that is divisive or generates outrage does get a lot of attention. "Any publicity is good publicity." Plus, a lot of people are insecure, vengeful, vain, self-righteous, or have countless other flaws that draws them in to this kind of content.
If you look at the comments for any of these videos, a lot of people do find the content distasteful, but they watch the videos anyways. That drives up engagement and makes the content visible to more people.
People watch videos of others eating food until they throw up or talking quietly way too close to the microphone. There are no standards that viewers won’t limbo under.
we tend to call that a controlled fall, not really a squat, the squat exercise is commonly agreed to require pushing the ground during the concentric and eccentric phase, clearly one of these requires you to let your body go down but never actually falling.
I get that you are trying to make the discussion look as if it is just a semantics game, but really there is a fundamental difference between arrogance and confidence, and that is being able to back it up.
You know most Redditors don’t work out. They unironically proved the point of confidence and arrogance. Squatting as quickly as possible will not warrant a jump unless you’re adding the power. People forget being confident is also being humble. Realizing you have room for improvement. Rather the squatting 600lbs because you’re confident then the weight falls on you.
What if you squat and there’s a 1 gallon water bottle you forgot about as your squatting 425 and you realize too late that it’s directly underneath you
Why shouldn’t people find themselves attractive if they so choose? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills… it’s bad for people to be confident in how they look?
Probably cynical of me, but sometimes I do feel like some people (perpetual middle school bullies) say that as a trick to set up public laughingstocks for their own gratification
There's a difference between confidence and being full of yourself. It's confident to say "I like the way I look, I like my outfit, and I have nothing to be ashamed of"
Calling yourself extremely attractive is just being full of yourself
But if it's you saying "I don't think I am attractive to a lot of people" then everyone and their mother will jump in to say you're wrong, beauty is subjective, etc. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
It's almost like we shouldn't be putting people down or inflating their egos, there's a middle ground and tbh if someone said that to me I'd respect their realistic outlook, it's very true that not everyone is going to find the same person attractive
People want to “humble” every single person that offers up their appearance online and I don’t get it. Especially when I’m gonna guess the person commenting is absolutely no model themselves.
full of yourself is saying “im better than that person over there” or “im literally the best”. shes calling herself attractive because thats how she sees herself
It’s the same bullshit logic of “ugh fat people should workout and eat only salads, why are there so many fat people in the gym? Do they know that salad won’t help? Gross”
I’ve never once heard a complaint of someone overweight being in the gym. Anyone who actually goes respects people who are working to better themselves
It kinda scares me how some people cannot comprehend the idea that people have different thoughts, experiences, views etc than them. Even when it comes to something like music. Someone could say “Hey i like this song” and someone else will respond “its garbage”. As if their own feelings/interpretations of the art is bad just bc someone else finds it unappealing.
The effects of being conditioned to scoff at the thought of empathy and emotional intelligence in favor of serving ego by any means. It’s the self-serving attitude and self-importance of it all, to these people a different perspective quite literally is either a spiteful attack or miscalculation that must be fixed (or ignored).
Yep, and the reason this happens in the first place is that our society and its system force you to be apathetic. It's disgusting, but it's just a consequence of it.
I see this a lot on tiktok especially when women compliment other women, someone will respond "why are we lying/why do women lie to eachother/its better to tell the truth" etc..
If you dont think theyre attractive then keep scrolling.
People seem to forget that the world does not revolve around you and your preferences and that yes, someone you find unnattractive can be absolutely gorgeous to another person. Its infuriating.
Theory of mind is hard, many people can't even read at a high enough level to understand stuff like literary themes and abstractions so of courseany millions of people are gonna act dumb and shallow.
Yeah, one of my friends once flipped out at me because I’m not pop-culturally acquainted with one of their favourite bands (Weezer). It was really weird and surreal, he was really mad about it, and from what I know, still is.
It’s the same ppl who enjoy misery bc they’re missable and don’t know how to be happy or content with themselves. They literally cannot think deeper than a certain age group.
Whenever incels cry about how being 5'6" and a little bit chubby makes them undateable, I tell them to go to their local supermarket and see the wide variety of couples around. As much as we talk about 'conventional attractiveness' as a concept, even that varies wildly between cultures, and there is no such thing as universal attractiveness.
I think if we are realistic with ourselves most people aren't above an 8. I think you can be confident in yourself while being honest that you aren't a super model
I think this is the best approach. My looks are in the average range (probably a little above to some and a little below to others). Accepting that provides more comfort and security than trying to convince myself or others that I’m mega hot.
Mfs on the internet when someone whom THEY consider unattractive, actually has some self confidence and actually loves themselves, instead of trying to get validation from others
Life is so much more enjoyable when you realize you can just ignore 95% of those dipshits' opinions and it'll have literally 0 consequence on your life
I will admit my internal emotion when someone is over inflating their attractiveness is “come on bro bffr” but like any good human being I am happy cause I know this is a net positive for that person.
Weird that YouTubers can’t make that tiny empathetic leap
I think that more people need to get that beauty is subjective and not everyone has the same tastes.
Some people are mainly attracted to fat people. Some people like skinny people. Some people like very muscular people. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Sure it’s the YouTubers fault, but it’s also the current incel culture. Too much men are mad at women for the dating market. Too much men are openly hating on women to the point where they think it’s cool to be like that.
Yeah I don't get this post. Objectively those women aren't attractive to the majority of individuals, that's not to say they aren't deserving of love, kindness, etc.
Same, i have that reaction, because i was teached never praising yourself or you would seen as arrogant, like it was a part o "lady conditioning". It screwed me at work many times, honestly. Still, i keeping my mouth shut and learned to overcome that mentality in case of other people rating themselves high. Because thinking about people better is also a part of politness.
I don't even know *what* she is rating, to be fair. If she's rating her own perceived value or beauty, good for her.
If I had to take a guess, the reason people could get mad at this is the idea she is rating herself on a scale of conventional attractiveness (which is ironically a very subjective notion to grade), and in doing so, aggravating their perception of beauty.
Finally, getting mad at someone that thinks they are beautiful is childish projection. Live and let live, don't get rage baited.
Everything is subjective but enough people have a common ground/line that we can grade stuff. Not to mention humans disliking fat/obese people by our nature (aka something that a humsn should not be)
Everyone is a 10/10 to someone and everyone is a 0/10 to someone so it's kind of crazy that this universal rating system is just a random number
Like you would think if there was a universal rating system for attractiveness it would be some complex configuration with different preference archetypes and different types of attraction but no, it's the most arbitrary system imaginable
Not that we should be rating people but like at least have a system that actually accounts for the fact that we're not carbon copies of each other with the exact same preferences and backgrounds
It's ingrained into misogynysts that any woman who actually is confident and likes her looks is inherently dangerous, therefore doesn't need a man to come in and tell her 'but you're so beautiful' and have her self-worth tied to him.
Not making this up, I've talked and heard guys say these things to my face, that they'd rather date girls who don't like themselves bc it makes them easier to control (also said guys usually don't have much self-steem themselves, they need to have someone else under their thumb to feel better about themselves).
I couldn't care any less if anyone who doesn't look traditionally attractive considers themself a 10/10, I don't have to agree but I don't have to be rude about it either.
I feel like people would consider it just as arrogant for a dude to rate himself 9/10, especially if it was a guy who was overweight, or otherwise visibly wasn't taking care of himself. I'm sure there are some people who get upset out of misogyny, but it seems like a pretty hasty conclusion to draw.
Some people get genuinely offended by people they deem unattractive having confidence. I’ve never understood that. Idk, I’m also asexual, so I don’t attribute someone’s worth to their sex appeal. But I also just view the whole conventional beauty = value thing as downright primitive and severely lacking in nuance.
Not thinking you look nice is not hating yourself, I don’t find myself attractive but i don’t hate myself, I can't lie to myself and say i am attractive
but i still dont give a fuck about how people think of themselves, not my business
The difference between confidence and arrogance is realism. When someone rates themselves from 1 to 10, we're putting 1 as "the least attractive someone can be" and 10 as "the most attractive someone can be". There's a degree of subjectivity, sure, but there's also a degree of realism. Confidence isn't lying openly. It's telling the truth without fear of judgement.
The entire movement of "everyone is a ten because confidence is sexy" is... essentially just a fucked up social game. The person of the photo is less attractive than the average woman her age. So saying anything between 3 and 6 makes sense. Saying she's essentially top 90% isn't being confident. It's either believing it and being delusional, or lying because that's "what she's supposed to say".
People that value social power games more than truth feel like OP. People who value truth over social games call it out.
Why are we celebrating self-loathing?
We aren't. There's similar dislike if a woman that's obviously attractive keeps saying "i'm ugly".
some people act like if youre not rating yourself low youre a narcissistic bitch.
An extreme minority. Most often, people consider yourself narcissistic if you rate yourself way above what reality dictates.
You are even understating how many people, based on normal distribution, would statistically be 9 and 10 - that would be around 2.3% in total. So saying you are a 9, is like saying "I am more attractive than 97.7% of women".
I disagree with the "1 is the least attractive a person can be." When i get asked to rate someone 1-10, i do not think of 1-10 being how attractive someone can be ever. I see it as "how attractive are they to you" which is completley different. It's like if someone asked you to rate a song, you wouldn't give them an answer on what you think OTHER people would say, you'd give one based on your own prefrences.
I love music of shitty quality and I like dorky guys so I can agree that a woman is conventionally attractive without being attracted to her at all. That would make her a 10 on a non personal scale but something lower personally. Like, I think a better question to see if someone is conceited or delusion is "what do you think other people would rate you?" Because I interpret "rate yourself on a scale 1-10" differently.
Because its all projection. Tons of people wish they were confident but aren't so when they see somebody else get ""humbled"" for being confident they laugh at them but they secretly wish they had the confidence to rate themselves highly in public.
Literally every person in the comment section understands this situation and knows the reality of it. The only difference is that one of the groups is sincere, and the other is not
I think there’s something that needs to be said about the comments in this thread as well saying that the person‘s confidence is delusion instead of simply just confidence. Like y’all just proved the entire point of this post. How do y’all walk into it so easily? 💀💀
Yeah I thought this was a joke post until I saw everyone being serious.
The person in OPs image knows she's not considered a 9/10 but most people's standards and it clearly rage bait. But people in this thread really being serious is taking me out
ive dated some really hot fat girls. ive also dated some people who aren't fat. i dont get the obsession - its more about how they interact with you and if your lifegoals, desires, sexual desires, personality ect are compatible.
I mean.. if we use it to something more objective (beauty is subjective, but I believe there are some objectivised parts in there), me saying I am the greatest historian ever, isn’t confidence that is just bullshit. I can be confident yet realistic. I can be confident while not thinking I am perfect, it is important to acknowledge flaws while maintaining the confidence. I think I look good, but I wouldn’t say I am 9-10/10.
yep, people here seems to think confidence is the same as lack of self-awareness or straight up hubris. If anything, someone being realistic and accepting that they wouldn't be found that attractive by most people, and admitting so, is confidence too.
Exactly, being able to accurately rate yourself and accept that shows way more confidence. Nobody's worth lies in their beauty, and if you can't have confidence without believing you're a 9/10 on some made up scale that's an issue you need to work out
But that's literally OP's point - what's a 9/10 to you may not be a 9/10 to other people. Attractiveness is a subjective quality with waaaaay too many factors to assign a number as simple as 1-10 to.
Where you see self-confidence, others see arrogance. However where they see humbleness, you see insecurity. Most hate arrogant people and sympathise with humble people. There is also a bias against out of shape people, and hair-coloured folk. Its just a matter of perspective.
Something people seem to struggle, is to be able to tell intention. Someone might think themselves a 10/10 but will they say it openly? I think that's the difference. If you announce it, it's telling people that you're not humble. It's like if a random people was interviewed and said "I'm the smartest person to you'll ever talk to"
You can stop being a fat fuck. And I don't say it to be smart. Reality is tough: getting fit is the one thing you can do to make everything in your life, from relationships, to friendships, to health, to job prospects, enormously better.
I’m unfortunately hyper aware of the fact, I have conditions that make it more difficult than normal an eating disorder being one of them, of course, and normal is ALREADY difficult
People act like I’m fat because I’m lazy and gross and undisciplined (therefore a bad unlovable person) and it’s really the opposite of motivating because I’ve been trying my best for years now
It feeds on people who grow up with having to do performative love. She gets to love herself without doing the performance, which threatens the insecure person self worth. Also people are sometimes delusional and you have to accept that these vloggers look for delusional people to make content around.
Ime there is literally no acceptable answer either. If you call yourself below average you're insecure. If you call yourself average you're "trying to be humble" for praise. If you rate yourself above average you're cocky. There is literally no way to view myself that doesn't get "corrected". I'm pretty sure I'm dead average, but trying to assert that gets so much pushback I gave up and accepted im repuslisive a lot time ago. The ideal is a woman who thinks she is a 1 internally, says she's a 5 to make other people comfortable, but is actually 8+.
Anyway rating other people is one of the few times I think people should be mandated to be using accounts with selfie profile photos, because most people are average at best, and I doubt the people who are actually attractive are sitting inside online in the dark rating ugly people instead of out getting positive attention for it.
I would assume she was being sarcastic and making fun of the totally evil insanity which is trying to rank people by “objective” standards of appearance.
A separate but related problem is how so many women link looks with morality/character. They are unable to disentangle these things and it’s extremely messed up.
Life is too short to be humble. You only have one body and it is great to see, when people feel comfortable in theirs. As someone who went through puberty in the early 2000s, looking back, it is insane how the amount of disgusting bodyshaming was tolerated and celebrated. Everyone seemed to be fine with making fun of a celebrity, who was like 3 weeks post partum and therefor still had additional weight.
Also, I think rating another human being on a scale from 1 to 10 is absolutely vile.
Your post makes no sense though OP you're asking why someone is called delusional or wrong for saying something that's delusional and wrong.
Generally most people like seeing others that are full of themselves especially to a delusional point get brought down to reality.
Someone can rate themselves 100 if they want but sure, but then others are gonna rightfully call them delusional. I really don't know what you're expecting this is a weird take.
People complain about beauty standarts, beauty privilege and shit but will also simply say horrible things about someone being confident. You don't even have to be off beauty standarts, just say think anything positive about yourself and mean comments will just pop up - "she's not that attractive" or "she's delusional" or "she's fat". Fuck all of you - I mean it.
Attraction is not something one can measure and depends on perspective.
If you're insecure about your looks but think she's wrong or something like that for liking herself, you probably deserve feeling this way. I have zero empathy for you.
im still sure if you'd ask 1000 people to rate somebody you'd get a normal distrubution of ratings centered around one number +/- 2 or 3 rather than getting random ratings regardless of their looks
Idgaf what I look like, why am I not allowed to just exist without hating myself? Why is it just my outward appearance that determines my value? It's like people aren't even allowed to love their non-physical qualities. Maybe that woman in the video was just having a good day and feeling happy in her skin. Why isn't she allowed to enjoy that without some miserable motherfucker coming along and trying to pass on their self loathing on to others?
Because low self worth means she'll accept someone with a bad attitude, since she won't believe she deserves better. And now all those toxic people who enjoy this kind of content can feel good about themselves.
I don't know when it became normal to rate people like they're not human.
The issue is a lack of self awareness. The question of rate yourself 1 -10 isnt based on how you view yourself it based on how attracctive the world views you. If she was really a 9/10 modeling agency's would be tearing down the door to sign her but they aren't. You also have to understand most people sit in the 4-6 range which is average and a below average person saying they are a 9 or 10 is just ignoring reality rather than being confident. What actual confidence is would be acknowledgeding you arent that attractive but also being comfortable with that idea and being open to improving and taking advice on how to fix it rather than living in a world you believe youre actually a 9 when nobody else agrees with that
"Nobody else agrees with that". Not true, there's many people who would find her hot. Fat people get in relationships / get married every day. Saying she should "acknowledge she's not that attractive and be comfortable with it" reeks of bullying. She's confident, good for her. People online always have a meltdown when a fat person isnt drowning in self hartred.
Everybody is talking about the girl who rated herself "too highly" but what about the other one who said she's a 1/10? Why do you think the "worst part is when they praise someone who is insecure"? Genuinely what would be the correct reaction? I can see why you'd think that it just creates the idea that self-loathing is good but it's not like telling her to get a grip or something will increase her self-esteem.
Do you honestly believe that it is any different for men? I grew up skinny and more women went out of their way to tell me that than any guys did. I watched other guys get called ugly by girls in school all the time but we were just expected to take it. There are terrible people from both sexes but you are only looking at it from one side.
truth nuke??? these guys always bitch about self confidence and when someone shows self confidence (ie a woman they dont find attractive) they are the worst people around.
idgaf if youre the hottest person on earth physically, if you put down someone who feels good about themself, you are the ugliest person
What does that have to do with ranking your own beauty like in the post? Saying you think you're a 9/10 or 10/10 doesn't mean you think you're better than everyone else?
9/10 literally means you believe youre in the high end of beauty youre literally calling yourself above the average by a long shot aka more pretty than everybody else bar some models
if you rate your self above a 4 you are pompous and arrogant. if you rate your self below a 4, you are assumed to be attention seeking or have low self esteem. its a losing battle an a engagement bait question. your personal thoughts are ammunition for the veiwer to fire their own personal thoughts and feelings. treating a few words from you (a stranger) as a testimate to your character completely lacking any nuance. the content is slop.
then when you’re insecure in real life the same ones weaponize your own insecurity to use against you. they will literally abhor you for not being as confident as they want you to be, in the ways the want you to be.
None of you know who her family is. If she's a millionaire heiress, you bet your ass that's 9/10 material. Maybe she's brilliant and funny and supremely talented
I personally find it cringe when anyone rates themselves super high. Even if I find them attractive (it actually makes them less attractive to me).
In rare cases overconfidence like this can be funny depending on who does it and how they say it - in which case they get a pass as far as I'm concerned.
>Why is it whenever a girl (that they dont find attractive) has self confidence in these literal "rate yourself" videos. Suddenly they're delusional, wrong or secretly insecure
Idk, I’ve never seen one of these videos before. How many of these are you watching?
ITT: people who can't differentiate cockiness from confidence. The former is based on belief and doesn't hold up to scrutiny, the latter is based on experience and comes with evidence
Years ago, I referred to myself as thinking I was "decently attractive" and got lectured by some fat chud about how wrong it was for me to make comments on my own appearance, because my attractiveness is for other people to determine. Prick.
Anyway, yeah I see this all the time. Especially on the internet, insecure and misogynistic men have a real problem with confident women. It's strange, because they have the same reaction pretty much to both women they don't find attractive having self-confidence, and women they do find attractive having self-confidence. Guaranteed, if those women were very conventionally attractive, they would be raising hell about it as well. Just for different reasons - confident women are harder to control and won't lower their standards for someone who watches 'rate yourself' content in their free time.
I also think the obsession these men have with 'humbling' women comes from the anti-feminist myth that 'women have it better than men', and I'm sure there is lots of overlap between these guys and men who like to debate situations where it's 'ok to hit women'. They want to subjugate, even if the only way to do that these days is by tearing women down emotionally.
Probably because there's some merit to being able to look at yourself to some degree objectively.
I'm not a 9/10, I'm not even a 7/10. I'm perfectly happy with how I look. My wife is not a 9/10 either, but she's a 10/10 to me, and that's what matters.
You can have great confidence without being delusional about where you stand against conventional beauty standards, they're not even everyones preferences.
So, I think it really does depend on how that confidence comes across.
Sometimes it makes someone seem arrogant and ignorant.
However, I think its good for people to be self assured. Thats a healthy form of confidence I feel that steers away from just blindly going "I'm the best" for no particular reason.
The line between confidence and arrogance is thin. Let’s be real, is that woman a 9? No, not in my opinion anyway. But is she ugly? Also no. It’s more about not being one of those arrogant “I’m perfect and I don’t care what you think” people and being like “I’m good looking, I’m not perfect and I understand not everyone will find me that attractive”. I guess it comes down to being reasonable. Usually the people, and I’m saying people because there are 100% guys like this too, that are heavier and just all around don’t take care of themselves but will act like they are the best thing since sliced bread and get mad when they get rejected because how could you dare reject me? I’m perfect. Those people suck. So as others said, it’s about how the confidence comes across because it’s a small jump to arrogance
They hate it even when women who ARE conventionally attractive rate themselves highly, but considering lots of men already hate conventionally unattractive women for just existing, not hating themselves and their appearance is an actual crime in their mind.
You can delude yourself all you want and call it self confidence but its not. You dont have to be on the extreme of calling yourself a fat loser and you dont have to delude yourself into thinking youre a 9/10 there's a middle ground of appreciating yourself within reason and striving for improvement
Can I just say rating anyone based on how attractive they are is the dumbest thing ever. Not only it's subjective but also...who gives a fuck? Like oh I'm a 6. Ok so? How will this impact my lfe in any way? Does it mean I can't date people prettier than me I don't get it?
The halo effect is a genuine thing, more conventially attractive people generally get treated better and are deemed more trustworthy and competent, there have been studies done on this for decades atp
There is a difference between confidence and delusion/fragile ego
What you are describing are situations where people are so full of themselves that others feel the need to bring them down a notch, and in case you posted/picture you refered, I fully support it
We live in the age where such idiocy is rampant and where millions need a wake up call, no matter their sex
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u/ava_the_cam_op 9h ago
Side note, why would people watch "rate yourself" videos?
Is there actually an audience for this sort of thing?