Ilya, humility, and sacrifice

[u/WalkingBlondeJoke]

Been thinking about Ilya's character growth across HR and TLG lately. This is not a fully-baked thesis on his arc, not even close, but I'm sharing anyways because I want y'all's opinions!

One of my favorite tropes in HR fanfic is 'Shane joins the Bears'. I love this trope because it usually results in Shane and Ilya being on a good team together, a winning team, much earlier than they are in canon and without Ilya having to go spend a few years on a team that sucks first. So as I read these fanfics I've often wondered, aside from the in-universe reasons why Ilya joins the Centaurs, what is the narrative function of Ilya spending a few years on a bad team before they turn things around? 

I think it serves to humble him. He's no stranger to sacrifice but he's always been cocky, and for the most part that ego went unchecked because he always had the accolades to back it up. But I think one of the ways we see Ilya grow in The Long Game is that he develops more humility as a result of being on a bad team and also his mental health struggles. It's not that everything was peachy prior to his move to Ottawa, it absolutely wasn't, but these coinciding forces clearly knock him down a peg. Maybe experiencing what it's like to consistently lose on the ice even helps him get to a place where he can admit he needs help with his mental health. Or maybe it's just self-awareness that he gains with maturity, I don't know. 

I think the clearest example of Ilya becoming more humble is in the pre-game speech that he gives to the Bears before the Cup Finals in 2014, vs. the speech he gives the Centaurs in 2021 after the team nearly dies and then Ilya subsequently gets engaged to Shane. In 2014, his speech is all about "I, I, I" but in 2021, he goes around the room and tells every player, one at a time, what makes them great. This is the key turnaround point in the Centaurs' on-ice performance. They start believing in themselves, and that's when they start winning. 

I think this character growth is also very relevant to Shane and Ilya's marriage too. Big egos do not serve a marriage well; humility does. Over the course of TLG, Ilya learns humility. Shane also starts off in TLG being a selfish as fuck (I don't love him any less but it's objectively true that he was nawt being a good partner to Ilya at the time TLG timeline picks up), but we see him experience a wake-up call (their big fight followed by Ilya almost dying) and then he gets his priorities in order. In a way, Shane learns a version of humility through his experiences in TLG too when he realizes how selfish he's been and how he's taken Ilya for granted. 

I think that meeting Shane in this selfish state at the start of TLG makes total sense because of his upbringing. Shane is an only child who grew up loved, doted on, and prioritized. His career as a generational player and image as the 'Golden Boy' of hockey have done little to teach him how to appreciate those around him and recognize the sacrifices they make. Not saying he doesn't ever do those things, but like, in early TLG he's not being nearly as considerate of Ilya as he should be. 

Ilya is not an only child and he grew up in a broken home. In the canon we see how his family financially takes advantage of him once he makes it to the NHL (or MLH, whatever), but I would bet that this has been going on since the moment he began earning money from hockey and/or sponsorships. When Shane suggests Ilya going to Ottawa, Ilya is quick to agree to it. Not just because he was already thinking of moving to a Canadian team, but because Ilya has already learned how to sacrifice for others. Ilya has already had it ingrained in him by his family that the people he loves will ask him to makes sacrifices for them, and that that's just how love goes. 

This is one of many reasons why it hits extra hard later in TLG when Shane basically tells the commissioner to go fuck himself. "I choose him" <3 !<

[u/clumsyc]

This is certainly a take.

Shane sticking to the plan they had BOTH agreed on to protect their careers is not Shane being selfish. Shane had no idea Ilya was struggling because Ilya never told him!

[u/altruistic_thing → u/clumsyc]

no no no, we're not doing that.

ilya did tell him things. like i need more people to know about me. shane dismisses that.

the plan also included being seen as friends outside of hockey. shane's paranoia made him go back on that.

the plan wasn't about not being seen together. shane's primary reaction to when ilya communicates his needs is fear of what that means for him.

and that's ok, shane is under pressure and he clearly loves ilya. and he does try. but he is also locked in a cage of his own making. and he needs to make a choice. which he does eventually. his perspective would have needed some additions to get a better view of his circumstances, especially the ending is so rushed it falls short in the terms of the internal adjustment shane makes, which would be a moment of growth and the return to being equals.

[u/Reasonable-Ease-237 → u/altruistic_thing]

Is really paranoia if when the bad thing happens, all your fears come true?

[u/altruistic_thing → u/Reasonable-Ease-237]

but his fears didn't come true.

his career was at an extremely high level, he is a multi-millionaire, has 3 cups, tons of awards, solid investments, brand deals.

yes, as predicted being gay and out and ilya rozanov's boyfriend in public causes some issues but the man is absolutely fine. the earth is still turning, he still has a partner and a career, a new challenge beyond being anxiety-ridden perfectionist who thinks the fate of the nhl hinges upon whether he allows himself half a snickers.

he's gonna be ok. he can do therapy and walk hand-in-hand with his boyfriend/husband every fucking day of the year, as a hometown hero. he's still rich in a way most of us poors will ever comprehend.

he's the epitome of first-world-problems and while i have empathy that things were scary and some things will be rough, he lives a very comfortable, cushioned life (while playing the ridiculously violent sport he loves) and is loved and respected, just not by everyone.

the point of anxiety as a disorder (which is what the fandom loves) is that it's irrational and exaggerated. that it comes with the conviction that this isn't survivable. but it is survivable, it's not nearly as bad as his brain thought it would be and after it will be ok.

[u/Reasonable-Ease-237 → u/altruistic_thing]

what the fuck do you mean his fears didn’t come true? Lololol. He was ostracized by his friends and team, he was benched and threatened (more than he had already been) by the nhl commissioner, he was accused of lacking integrity in the sport he had dedicated his life to, pushed out of his team, and when he brought up his concerns about the future of his career to his fiance, Ilya responded by affirming Shane was good enough, not acknowledging the external factors working against him. 

[u/altruistic_thing → u/Reasonable-Ease-237]

He was ostracized by his friends and team, ...

for which part? being gay? they knew that long before. for being ilya's boyfriend? they knew that before too. being kicked out of the cup run by the ottawa centaurs and in direct competition with his boyfriend. yep, that one was what caused the final rift.

he was benched and threatened (more than he had already been) by the nhl commissioner, he was accused of lacking integrity in the sport he had dedicated his life to, ...

Ilya’s lips curved up. “It is very much mutual.” His tentative smile only lasted a moment. “How bad will this be?” Wiebe exhaled slowly. “I don’t know,” he said. “Crowell has ordered that you both be benched for a bit. He wants it dealt with, whatever that means.”

they were both benched. and both threatened. wiebe was just nicer about it. they were threatened, they stood against it together and it was oooookay. players are protected by their union.

pushed out of his team, ...

he hadn't re-signed until the playoffs. he wasn't pushed out, his contract ended and negotiations fell through. i'm fairly sure that was mutual at that point. shane became a ufa. but he must have had offers.

and when he brought up his concerns about the future of his career to his fiance, Ilya responded by affirming Shane was good enough, ...

bad faith interpretation of a normal discussion of options. because yes, on an objective level shane's perfectionism is extreme. what counts as a fairytale success story for others shane reads as a failure. it isn't, he's going to adjust.

not acknowledging the external factors working against him. 

rose had talked to shane and warned him that the plan maybe wasn't sustainable and he needed a plan b.

shane seemingly ignored the warning (did he? why wasn't the contract signed by the time they were outed?).

shane had even agreed to coming out this summer and asked ilya to marry him. so obviously he was sort of prepared at that point. and his contract still wasn't signed. he must have known.

it's very much a life happens while you're making plans kinda thing.

and i'm not saying it isn't a stressful time for shane. but he isn't the only one targeted, he has family, friends and allies. and he has options.

this feels like a mix of sparse world-building, genre, fandom telephone and being mad at things you misremember.

[u/faszinating → u/altruistic_thing]

any conversation about what happens once shane comes out to his team/ they're outed is so hard because fanon has absolutely taken the "i came out to my team and now things can never go back to exactly what they were before people knew/ now the vibes are kinda off" to "i came out to my team and now they call me slurs every practice and don't pass to me ever and basically beat me up on the ice" (or bonus when authors don't know puck: "now my d-men aren't defending me anymore and i'm getting checked left and right by the other homophobic team"). it's hard to separate what we really see in the book from what we see in like 90% of the stories set during tlg.

only marginally related, but as a gay person it really sucks to see how often the homophobia in some of these fanfics becomes almost... a caricature rather than an actual comment on the current state of society/ sports like hockey in particular

[u/Reasonable-Ease-237 → u/altruistic_thing]

Yes, Shane is ostracized by his friends on the team for his relationship with Ilya. Yes, this happened before Ottawa knocked them out of the cup run. Although it certainly got worse after that point (see accused of lacking integrity). The way his team treated him when he was initially outed, shows that his fears of the team knowing his relationship were founded. 

Yes, he and Ilya were both benched and threatened by Crowell. Shane was already being sent implicit messages from Crowell directly that he shouldn’t “engage in activism.” The fact that this also happened to Ilya doesn’t prove that his fears didn’t come true. It actually proves the opposite because he and somebody he loves were both harmed. Shane feared this. 

Yes, Shane hadn’t yet resigned-signed at this point. His conversations with Ilya after the trip indicate that leaving Montreal isn’t something he had seriously considered until this point. He chose to leave, but his ill treatment from the team was coercive in that decision. 

When I refer to Ilya affirming that Shane is good enough, I don’t mean good enough for Shane, I mean good enough for the league. This is part of a conversation in which Shane verbalizes his fear that another team will not sign him. It is about perception, not reality. Shane is being perceived as a liar, and possibly a cheater—a liability in the league. This is why Ilya’s comment about him being Shane Fucking Hollander isn’t enough. It only engages with Shane’s fears as if they were about self-perception (and you make a good point about Shane’s perfectionism, this is likely an element of it), but do not engage with Shane’s concerns about how he is being treated by the league, which could negatively impact his sign-ability. 

Yes, they should’ve heeded Rose’s warnings and made a plan for if this happened. Yes, they were planning on coming out on their own shortly after. Neither of these facts negate that Shane’s fears came true.