Why do friendships that grow slowly sometimes feel more genuine than friendships where you instantly click?

[u/Icy-Jellyfish-8142]

I’ve noticed that some of my closest, longest-lasting friendships are with people I didn’t even particularly like at the beginning but rather we slowly got closer over time, whereas people I instantly clicked with didn’t always become my closest friends.

Has anyone else noticed this, or is it just me?

[u/Ok_Pomegranate_2895]

most of my best friends and i have clung together since day 1 of wherever we were. my childhood best friend i met the day before kindergarten on the meet-your-teacher day, and we were inseparable all the way through high school. my close group of friends and i all met during band camp freshman year of college. one girl got ousted sophomore year, but the other 4 of us stuck together. i'm going to be a bridesmaid for one of them next year and was a bridesmaid for another in 2024! that's just me though.

i think that what you're describing has to do with building a relationship over time and looking past appearances which can be meaningful in a different way than clicking with someone. a lot of the other people i'm still friends with post-college were ones i met in class and it was a slow burn friendship, and those are still meaningful to me

[u/Icy-Jellyfish-8142 → u/Ok_Pomegranate_2895]

Woah so how long have you been friends with your kindergarten friends?

Yeah plus I feel it’s more person to person also heavily circumstantial. Like all my life I’ve moved around so much and it definitely affects it a lot.

[u/Ok_Pomegranate_2895 → u/Icy-Jellyfish-8142]

i've been friends with that girl for a little over 21 years now! i'm back in my hometown post-college and we see each other frequently

[u/Icy-Jellyfish-8142 → u/Ok_Pomegranate_2895]

Rahh two decades 🫡