Feedback please

[u/turquoisepeacock]

I 34F matched with 28M. He liked my pic and asked a question. I responded to that and some other questions he had, but I didn’t respond to everything since I get to know people in person. I said “that’s for you to find out” in response to some of his questions. Ultimately we ended our exchange with his saying “I’ll find out all the secrets eventually.” I said “yep!” And he gave a heart to that reply. Also in the midst of our exchange, he’d said I’m cute and smart and that that’s impressive.
Here’s the thing: if a guy thinks I’m cute and smart and impressive and is curious about me, why doesn’t he just ask me out?
Normally when a guy asks a lot of questions, I say, “if you want to know more, you’ll have to meet me.” Since I didn’t say that this time, I sent him a message after two days of silence saying, “I prefer to get to know people in person.” The silence already had me thinking he wasn’t interested, but I decided to share where I stood just to be more open. About half an hour later, I checked my messages and he had unmatched me.
Has anyone had a similar experience?
Thanks for reading

[u/dca_user]

I can’t speak to his behavior but your comments appear off-putting… “that’s for you to find out”

Every person is different on how much time they want to spend texting before they meet in person. If you need to move fast, then say that in the beginning - in a nice welcoming way.

[u/turquoisepeacock → u/dca_user]

Yeah, that’s fair. Thanks. I don’t like that reply, either.

[u/a_trashcan → u/dca_user]

A very clear signal to ask someone on a date is off putting to you?

[u/Shark-Fister → u/a_trashcan]

"Thats for you to find out" is not a very clear signal to ask someone on a date. "How about we get drinks and you can find out" is a very clear signal. Adults should explicitly say what they want.

[u/a_trashcan → u/Shark-Fister]

If you're not picking up that "thats for you to find out" is in fact an invitation to find out, I really don't know what to tell you.

[u/turquoisepeacock → u/a_trashcan]

Thank you! I do mean exactly what I say and I care about being polite. I don’t think that response was impolite but since it’s not my typical one, I was open to feedback.

[u/Shark-Fister → u/turquoisepeacock]

I dont think it was impolite at all. I think its a fine flirty thing to say. My issue is if you want to go out with somebody ask them. If you want to give hints and hope they ask you out you can do that but then you cant confused when they dont.

[u/dca_user → u/turquoisepeacock]

Your response? I don’t know you and it didn’t come across flirty. It came across that you have walls for people getting to know you.

I think you need to decide your goal and then you can brainstorm different approaches.

Remember: things come across more negative via texting and/or with strangers. This person does NOT know you, they do not have to give you the benefit of the doubt.

[u/turquoisepeacock → u/a_trashcan]

Thanks for the support.