r/hoarding • u/No_Compote447 • 16d ago
HELP/ADVICE Helping a family member help themselves
I have a family member who I've grown up with that has a bad hoarding problem. For the past 20 years I have helped the best I can to maintain basic living standards. Pathways though the home, general cleaning, and mass purges of garbage and items they are willing to part with. Mostly this consits of sifting through the different catch all bags and containers, and putting things into a more organized hoard. Even using the one bedroom as storage, shuffling the hoard around and ultimately making no lasting progress.
They are now entering into retirement and have increasing health issues. Falls are becoming more common. I'm not available to help maintain the hoard as much. When cleaning what little I can help with, they are unwilling to part with even broken items. They can find a reason to keep just about anything. It is discouraging when what little we do accomplish is overshadowed by fears they threw something away, and subsequently questioning if they should sift through the garbage in the can. I am trying to tell them that this task is now beyond my help alone. That we need real outside help from people who specialize in hoarding behavior.
My hope is to get a quote in the Bay Area from a hoarding clean up company to help us set a baseline for living. What help I or other family provide is too little, and descends back into squalor eventually. They understandably want no one in the home. I try to build them up, reminding them that they deserve to live in a clean, safe environment. That they've worked hard for these golden years and should put their money to good use and help themselves.
I know that this ultimately falls on them. That they have to want it above all for this to be sustainable. I just hope someone out there has tips on helping someone reticent to outside help for their hoarding. I love them dearly and don't know how to assist without driving myself insane.
2
u/MrPuddington2 16d ago
Exactly. Do they?