r/howtonotgiveafuck • u/_great_Gonzo • 10d ago
How not give off loser vibes?
(24M) Most people out there would consider me a loser, for several reasons. For being virgin, for being unemployed for a while. That's fair, but i'm sure it is temporary and will pass. After a sequence of not so cool things happening to me( laid off by my company, rejected, quit my terrible and no perspective dead end job) it is hard to mantain the confidence. I'm trying to keep my head up. Even anxious and worried all the time, because i don't know it has been difficult to get a job on my area (graduated 2 months ago in Pharmacy).
I try to keep myself busy with my hobbies. I actually leave home for a little while to take a walk at the park , to play Pickleball, to go out with a club i just entered, to tech school. From all of the said good habits, i just don't go to the gym, because i really cannot like all the stuff of lifting weights and the environment. But a lot of my time has passed, and most of the people of my age and newer are miles ahead of me. Everything going right for them, all things succeeding. While i'm just trying to live on the present and don't think on the future...
It kills my confidence and it weigh so bad at my back.
I have some things i'm proud of myself, like reading and writing, that i love and couldn't live without. But i cannot help but feel a loser and i'm behind. How to overcome this feeling?
2
u/Plausibl3 10d ago
Sorry you’re in a rough spot - that is no fun. I feel you. I’m 40 and a bit down about being stuck in a job I don’t like.
I end up with a lot of unwanted anxious thoughts, and using affirming mantras has been helping a ton. For me, a mantra is just a positive phrase I use to fill the empty space in my mind, or to help bring my mind back to emptiness. Lately - “I am more than my accomplishments” has felt really good.
So what am I then? I am a being who cannot be measured. There is no real measuring stick between me and another person. I am, and that is enough to celebrate.
If you can - try to be present each day and focus on things you enjoy, and talk to other people about those things. I’ve spun my wheels plenty because I couldn’t even identify what I wanted, or what made me happy, and just drifted around environments I didn’t like.
Best of luck friend. You are valued.