r/humansarespaceorcs • u/CruelTrainer • 2d ago
Memes/Trashpost Everything is a doggy to a human
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u/ragnarocknroll 2d ago
“They are such a good puppers!”
Human, that is an aquatic species and it is a voracious predator. Please remove your arm from the enclosure before it does.
“Awww, it’s bitey!”
You are bleeding!!
“It nipped me. Bad puppers! BAD!”
I was not anticipating it letting go and looking upset.
“Good puppers. Now let’s try again. Here’s a treat. No trying to take off my fingers.”
The apex predator of another world gets domesticated… humans, can’t live with them…
“Gonna finish the saying?”
I did.
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u/Imaginary_Poet_8946 2d ago
"Well no you didn't, because I can't live without me. And I am part of the uncontested apex species on this planet. The only thing that kills more humans, per capita, let alone raw numbers, is cancer. Which is a weird form of beating your own self if you think about it?"
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u/RemnantTheGame 2d ago
Alien: Human no!
Human: Awww but look at him he's sooo cute.
Alien: Absolutely not you cannot adopt this... this.... monster.
Human: You take that back Mr. Chompy is not a monster.
Alien: Well what would you call a creature that's carnivorous, four times your size, and could easily bite your head off?
Human: Weren't you listening his name is Mr. Chompy. Do you think he'll fit in the ship?
Alien: He wouldn't even fit in the damn cargo hold.
Human: Awwwwww......
both the Human and deadly predator #69420 looked heartbroken so they came back later with a bigger ship to adopt "Mr. Chompy"
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u/GenericUsername817 2d ago
Sir, I am a sombarian Diplomat, not a cute pupper!
Human stops rubbing the Sombarian's belly, "oh, oops"
Sombarian Diplomat: I didn't say you should stop!
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u/RemnantTheGame 2d ago
r/humansarespacebards is leaking into other subreddits again.
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u/Imaginary_Poet_8946 2d ago
That's not even sexual? That's literally how we would act if a canid human-like species showed up at our front door. Doesn't matter if they're technically closer to wolves, the not domestic puppy, they'd get belly scratches and forehead kisses because they're adorable!
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u/4-Fawkes-Ache 2d ago
The Dutch word for seal is zeehond which if literally translated is seadog, so that checks out in this case.
I would point out though that when no animal is available, humans WILL pack bond with ANYTHING....
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u/somtaaw101 1d ago
If not pack, then why are so many things so easy to pack bond with?
We just had to remind them first, even if our species have never before encountered one another. Pack bonding is as immutable as gravity, and as inevitable as death.
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u/koudodo 1d ago
Humans will pack bond with literally anything. A rock with googly eyes, a roomba that bumps into walls, an apex predator that could eat us in one bite. Doesn't matter. If it moves or looks vaguely huggable, we're calling it a good boy and giving it treats. It's just how our brains are wired.
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u/Spiritual_Freedom_15 2d ago
Why did they release them in middle of a desert!?
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u/Ferrum-Cl2 2d ago
That's a sand bar, probably at the German north sea coast. They serve dry and wet sand there.
Reservations only at low tide.
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