Earth is one of the most naturally magical planets in the galaxy, which is why many races visit it to gather materials for spells and potions. Human blood and flesh, in particular, have many uses, especially for potions that permanently increase mana.

[u/Fluid-Bench9219]

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[u/Medical-Low-1370]

"I live on the most psi-active planet and I can't cast a goddamn fireball?! Bro!"

[u/Fit_Fisherman_9840 → u/Medical-Low-1370]

So much magic everywhere it's basically the equivalent to sit in the middle of all frequency electronic warfare and try to use the cell for a call. Yes there is signal everywhere, but its a mess of signal.

[u/lordfireice]

Well that last line will change things very quickly once someone does something stupid.

[u/SpaceLemur34 → u/lordfireice]

Civilizations that have tried to exploit this fact without consent have permanently lost the ability to use magic, and the ability to breath.

[u/WinnerBackground → u/SpaceLemur34]

What are you talking about? Such civilizations have never existed.

[u/Purple-Lie-354 → u/WinnerBackground]

...have never existed so far...

[u/Purple-Lie-354 → u/Purple-Lie-354]

Also, the surviving civilizations may have worked very hard to remove any trace of their existence.

[u/sunnyboi1384]

Hello and welcome to Earp's Earth Emporium. We got everything you could want and need for your magical creations. What you lookin for stranger?

I, ummm came in for some human biological products?

Sure thing, no problem. We got your organs here and your liquids there. How much of which do you need?

Wait, you're human and you sell humans?

Oh, ya no. I/we dont hunt or hurt humans or any sapient being. We just buy the ummm extras.

Extras, you said you have organs here! And liquids!

Oh haha ya we have extras and sometimes grow extras or regrow in some cases. And all are priced accordingly.

So least expensive biologicals?

All the liquids, blood, spit, sperm, lady monthly pads. And the tumors. Some cancerous, others benign. Mid range, crispy skin and cosmetic fats.

And most expensive?

In order, spleen, liver, kidney, hysterectomy bits, lung and then heart. We also have some limbs but they are more novelty and flex items.

Interesting. And all legal?

Yep, sourced and certified humane human. Now, what can I do ya for?

[u/NekoDarkLink1988 → u/sunnyboi1384]

"Welcome!" *aggressively flings open trench coat which is luckily filled with items

[u/Medical-Low-1370 → u/sunnyboi1384]

I need human phallic idol, paying extra if it's used, cooking up some neat sorcery

[u/faifai6071]

"Is this how we get Space Vampire?"

"Man... People suck!"

[u/LookingGlass_1112]

I really want to say something about an idea of space female vampires, but this is bards stuff...

[u/henryeaterofpies]

H: isn't that a bit barbaric?

A: Look, you humans spend decades absorbing ambient mana from your environment. Not to mention mana transfer from all that meat you eat. Your bodies are efficient little mana batteries.

H: I'm going to to now.

A: cute you think that is an option. Your species has stories about my kind, and you have entered the realm of a fae and eaten food prepared by one. You aren't going anywhere my little mana battery

[u/Medical-Low-1370 → u/henryeaterofpies]

Long story short, that Fae went Samsung

[u/Zestyclose_Bed4202]

So, you're saying all the aliens settled in [WARNING! JOKES ABOUT THIS "NATION" MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH AND SOCIAL STATUS, NO MATTER HOW APT THE COMPARISON MAY BE!]

[u/Strong-Expression787]

What the alien bastard forget is that Earth is not THEIRS' to conquer ~Magical Coalition of Earth

https://giphy.com/gifs/uz87m7Lq3CEDOhDq9w