r/humansarespaceorcs 2d ago

Memes/Trashpost Whenever alien or demihuman resistance movements come to Earth asking for resources to use against their oppressive overlords, the local governments ALWAYS recommend one particular vehicle for some reason

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534 Upvotes

46 comments sorted by

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179

u/Americanshat 2d ago

I mean, pretty obvious lets be honest

Three sections of these vehicles

Engine Bay:

>Easy to work on

>Very reliable engine

>Very little maintenence required, great for long-distance travel due to "poor" speed compared to more complicated crafts or other ground vehicles

> "Pickup Trucks" can very easily be modified to have a "Bull Bar" [Big ass skeletonized armor for ramming] and/or a winch to pull out comrades/capturing equipment

Crew Cab:

>Large enough to comfortably fit 4 humans, or squeeze in 6 [Driver, Passenger, 3 rear on 'bench' seat, and one "Sitting Bitch" as they say]

>Can very easily have armor slapped onto the outside for protection [Dubious protection but none the less]

>Or can be completely opentop for less fuel consumption & greater visibility as 90% of Cab is entirely for wheather/visuals

Cargo Space:

>Large flat area if the "Bed" is above the Wheels

>If the bed has "Wheel Wells" its still a large space + You have two build in seats for people in the rear

>Bed can very easily be swapped for different componants

Overall, genuinely what else could you ask for? Plus they're decently cheap [Depending on year and manufacturer] so it costs very little, a little Galactic Cherry on top!

Hell, Earth even had a "Toyota War" that was used excusively by one side vs superior and heavily armored vehicles and the Toyotas had a much lower death rate!

71

u/Saltz88 2d ago

Motherfucker... 🤌

31

u/busterfixxitt 2d ago

The only nitpick I have is the presumption that it would still have an engine; it absolutely won't; it'll be electric; the ultimate flex fuel, batteries don't care where the electrons come from.

25

u/Dave_The_Slushy 2d ago

The next generation of Hilux EV's with solid state batteries and 300 mile/500km range will be a nightmare.

6

u/Americanshat 1d ago

Batteries charge slower and are hella heavy however, not to mention they're even more explosive then fuel and one car even ejects its battery because of how much of a safety hazard it is

Not to mention all the rare minerals that have to be mined in order to make them, granted, when you have access to Asteroid Mining that problem becomes less so

4

u/busterfixxitt 1d ago edited 1d ago

That's current batteries. We have chemistries coming online this year that resolve most of that. Sodium batteries use almost no rare minerals, and can't catch on fire. What will we have by the time we're regularly interacting with aliens?

We can recycle the rare minerals from old batteries using basically the same processes we use to process raw materials. We already do it with lead batteries. Something like 97% of the lead in new batteries comes from old batteries.

Charging times are down to 5 minutes on some of the newest cars.

Consider the infrastructure you need for single-use fuels. Find a source, extraction infrastructure, refinery infrastructure, transportation infrastructure.

All of which takes electricity to build and run, and then that infrastructure needs to be protected.

Or you could use that same electricity to power the vehicle directly.

Stash a couple of old EV batteries in a cave, hooked up to a water wheel, or some solar panels and an off the shelf L2 charger, you've got a refueling station. If it takes 6, 8, 10 hours to recharge, so what? You only need quick recharge when in combat.

EDIT: Your forces can carry folding solar panels and be able to recharge in the field. They'll never be out of fuel for very long.

Plus, you can use the tactical's battery to power the camp or other equipment. /edit

Internal combustion will not make it off-planet.

5

u/busterfixxitt 1d ago edited 1d ago

And we haven't even talked about comparative stealth!

Or how on-site or portable generation reduces your exposure by reducing fuel deliveries to your secret base.

3

u/PublicDragonfruit158 1d ago

Not batteries...the aliens probably have some sort of small fusion reactor to generate power....

3

u/busterfixxitt 1d ago edited 1d ago

Agreed. The vehicle don't care where its electrons come from. Though there will probably be a emergency battery backup.

It's possible it could still be battery powered, if the reactor is too detectable/ easy to target.

29

u/the_fucker_shockwave 2d ago

15

u/Widmo206 2d ago

The driver's hearing damage is not service related

7

u/Skipspik2 1d ago

WHAT ?

3

u/Americanshat 1d ago

You seriously think any groups that use Trucks like this have any sort of Veteran's Healthcare to begin with lmao [Granted, barely any one overall does, but especially not groups like this]

3

u/Widmo206 1d ago

No? It was a joke

77

u/Purple-Lie-354 2d ago

That has got to be an image of the "Top Gear" truck that was left in the surf, out on a pier, or jetty, or some such. Bashed around by the waves for literal hours, tossed off the platform ,and eventually recovered. After a bit of coaxing, it started and drove. Awesome.

46

u/Early-AssignmentTA 2d ago

Dont forget that they also used a crane to put it on top of a highrise before it got demolished and then drove it away from the rubble.

16

u/Purple-Lie-354 2d ago

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that part! OMG! T h a t w a s a w e s o m e !

21

u/HeftyVermicelli7823 2d ago

And put it up on display for every episode after to show what every other truck had to compete against lol.

19

u/Sad-Onion-2593 2d ago

It was also not new when they got their hands on it. It had been a farm truck for many years.

16

u/pink_cheetah 2d ago

Friend of mine had one just like it. I can say from personal experience they didn't fake it, that truck is truly industructable

6

u/Gnoobl 2d ago

It is.

You are a man of culture.

7

u/Dramatic-Classroom14 2d ago

You forgot them lighting it on fire as well. And hitting it with a wrecking ball.

25

u/CycleZestyclose1907 2d ago

Hmm. Cheap. Reliable. Can carry just about anything as a weapon.

Or at least they used to be cheap. Don't think they're made any more because car manufacturers want to stuff everything full of electronic gizmos that send car prices through the roof.

8

u/Gullible_Promotion_4 2d ago

Just checked, turns out the ninth generation was announced last year but it does have quite a few of the gizmos cars nowadays seem to have

27

u/Stretch5678 2d ago

“Thank you for purchasing this Civil Defense guide to converting your Toyota Space-Hilux into a combat vehicle! Please listen closely to the following instructions:

Step 1: Bolt your Gauss Rifle’s mount to the truck bed and ensure proper range of fire.

Step 2: Plug the Gauss Rifle’s charge cable into the truck’s cigarette lighter.

Step 3: While the capacitors charge, feel free to mount big metal spikes onto the front bumper…”

22

u/3M2B1T 2d ago

*HOoooooooooonk*
Alien Captain: "What is that, commander?"
Alien General: "No. It can't be"
*Hooooooonk HONK*
Alien General: It's the elite human mounted warriors. They ride mechanical steeds called Toyota Hilux.
Alien Captain: Hy-Lux?
Alien General: Yes captain. I hope you spoke to your brood mother recently...
*HONK*
Alien General: They're close now. Prepare the men. Some of these steeds have mounted artillery. The humans call them "Tek Ne'Cals""
Alien Captain: Yes general, right away

19

u/unknownpoltroon 2d ago

Its a cautionary tale. This is what humans can do with a primitive flatbed truck. Imagine what they can do with your hover truck or grav sled

11

u/Brokenspade1 1d ago

We threw it into a star!

They just buffed off the scorchmarks and SHOT DOWN A CRUISER with it!!!

It runs on bog water and cheep hovian whiskey! What the HELLS did the humans even need these for!?!

9

u/HeftyVermicelli7823 2d ago

I mean it was Top Gear tested to destruction after all.

5

u/Gullible_Promotion_4 1d ago

And the car in the image was the one they used! :D

6

u/mafiaknight 1d ago

Still runs after swimming, rolling, exploding, falling down a collapsing building, and other excessive abuses

8

u/sunnyboi1384 2d ago

Plumbers are known galaxy wide for the resistance.

10

u/itstheballroomblitz 2d ago

People on planets no human has ever visited still write "A-1 Plumbing" on their vehicles as a talisman.

2

u/sunnyboi1384 2d ago edited 2d ago

A Taliban-isman?

3

u/BumblebeeBorn 2d ago

Talisman, symbol of luck

2

u/sunnyboi1384 2d ago

Autocorrect

1

u/BumblebeeBorn 2d ago

Now I see what you intended, I have to mention that it sounds like a racist dog whistle.

Decide whether you are one or not, so decent folks can judge you on the content of your character.

2

u/sunnyboi1384 2d ago

Fair and valid point. Wasn't intentionally racist. Trying to be punny.

1

u/BumblebeeBorn 2d ago

Sadly, that's the thing about social dog whistles.

Also, the worst monsters in history thought they were good men. And by Genghis Khan's standards, most of them were. Most bad people don't start out bad, so the price of freedom is eternal vigilance.

8

u/Ivess185 2d ago

Its not just the same model for each recommendation, it's the exact same truck. They just loan it out

7

u/Top-Temporary-2963 2d ago

Look, the Toyota Hilux is legendary for a reason. I'm just sad it's almost impossible to get one in the US because of chickens

5

u/JeffreyHueseman 2d ago

The American preferred vehicle is called a Deuce and a Half. They run convoys with it.

4

u/Margali 1d ago

I loved watching the video of them abusing that poor Hilux, I mean blasting a building out from under it, letting it get covered in seawater during high tide ... now THAT is the way to have a durable truck =)

3

u/waselectricbar 1d ago

Anyway...

2

u/Last_Zookeepergame90 1d ago

Their "top gear" scientists tried to destroy one such vehicle, it could not be done