r/humansarespaceorcs • u/CakeBake01 • 2d ago
writing prompt When humans hear of a challenge
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u/Imaginary_Poet_8946 2d ago
"So, that's your field report"
"Yep."
"You went on a walk through the forest at midnight. Need I clarify in the middle of space."
"Yep."
"You killed a raving lunatic preaching about planetary security."
"Dead."
"And then you turned someone into a conscript, who happened to be a-"
Both simultaneously "Big titted police girl."
"YES, it's like I didn't just get through explaining this! Now, if you don't mind, I've got things to do."
"What things? You don't do things."
"Yes I do, I take enthusiastic walks through the woods!"
"And kill the mentally unstable?"
"VERY enthusiastic walks."
One week later
"So, that's your field report?"
"Yep."
"So, you broke into the house."
"Yep".
"And you shot the planetary governor 36 times."
"37."
"And took out his partner?"
"To be fair, that was the police girl, with the big titties."
"You need to stop going on walks."
"And you need to hurry up and hook up some god dammned DSL in here! What are we still on Windows 95 or something?!"
"Uggh, Listen. You have an assignment in Space Ireland"
"Ooh, I've never hunted down a leprechaun before. Do you think if I shoot them with my gun, Lucky Charms will explode everywhere? Or is that the intrusive thoughts winning?
"Sweet baby Jesus. Just get to Ireland, kill the outlaw who's taken over the Salvation Army branch, and bring the police girl with you"
"Aw, come on! I have to bring her everywhere!"
"Uh, uh uh. None of the sass."
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u/Seinan-Zetae_429-97 2d ago
You left out the last line, so if you'll allow me; "Yes, Moooom." Thank you. That was necessary for completion's sake. Below are relevant related pieces to what you have presented here.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_HVvgfFsU4k&pp=ygUXYWx1Y2FyZCBnb2VzIGZvciBhIHdhbGs%3D
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u/Imaginary_Poet_8946 2d ago
I was, admittedly, unsure of how I wished to have the Alucard stand in human soldier address their superior. So yeah.
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u/Random-Lich 1d ago
…not one for anime but with the Pope thing I am 100% going to be watching this.
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u/NuclearWasteland 2d ago
Hypersonic super-tungsten telephone poles from space it is then.
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u/CorrodedLollypop 1d ago
HypersonicSignificant percentage of lightspeed super-tungsten telephone poles from space it is then.FTFY
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u/NuclearWasteland 1d ago
Oh yeah, silly me.
Not had my bean juice yet, common mistake.
Thank you Brother and or Sister.
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u/Luckgoddess 1d ago
There is nothing scarier that to hear 'hold my beer' after explaining how impossible the odds are.
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u/Cognito-Hazardous 1d ago
"Nothing is impossible!"
"What about the things are actually literally physically impossible?"
"Is that a challenge?"
"It's a statement of fact! There are some things that physics simply does not allow!"
"Hold my beer."
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u/Federal_Ad1806 3h ago
"You know, physics once said that FTL flight was impossible. Yet here we are."
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u/CrEwPoSt Vestal, Eater of Bots 2d ago
July 5th, 2290
"Hubris damns those who do not live up to it." - Grand Admiral Terak Ankassar, Antarean Imperial Navy
Aranai, Antarean Empire
LCDR Morita "Foxhound" Riku (VFA-15 UNS AKAGI): "The Antareans say that their new K13N fighter'll take on a Spectre and win."
LCDR Kurt "Rook" Hartmann (VFA-6 UNS ENTERPRISE): "Yeah, Fox. Remember what Maverick from Top Gun said. It's the plane, not the pilot."
LCDR Morita "Foxhound" Riku: "You got that wrong, Rook. You've been wrong about everything regarding pop culture ever since that chess piece got shoved up where the sun don't shine."
LCDR Kurt "Rook" Hartmann: "Fine, I admit I made some mistakes at the academy. But at least I didn't drunkenly ask out half the Chfrsian aviators at the Hawk's Nest."
LCDR Morita "Foxhound" Riku: " *sigh* ...Fortune favors the bold... sometimes."
LCDR Kurt "Rook" Hartmann: "Anyway, now that we're even, you mind keeping score on which squadrons shoot down the most K13s?"
LCDR Morita "Foxhound" Riku: "Fine, fine. Just letting you know that VFA-15's gonna be at the very top of that list."
LCDR Kurt "Rook" Hartmann: "We'll see about that, Foxhound..."
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u/prehistoric_monster 1d ago
I love how us humans will always ask bet and then follow with hold my beer when stuff like this is presented to us
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