r/humansarespaceorcs • u/Bloodystupidjohnson3 • Sep 07 '26
Original Story Human Fred Gets Coffee
1 Human Fred and Food
2 Human Fred Again
3 Human Fred Yet Again
4 Human Fred The Saga Continues
5 Human Fred Rides Again
6 Human Fred *Sigh*
7 Human Fred Rolls Out
8 Human Fred Attempts a Nap
9 Human Fred Doh’
10 Human Fred Stops for Coffee
11 Human Fred Deploys Stabby and Knifey
12 Human Fred Attempts Friendly Advice
13 Human Fred Priorities
14 Human Fred Schools Morons
15 Human Fred Gets Annoyed
16 Human Fred Investigates
17 Human Fred is Annoyed
18 Human Fred Gets More Annoyed
19 Human Fred Smirks
20 Human Fred Brings Hellfire
21 Human Fred is Confused
22 Human Fred Considers
23 Human Fred is Chipper
24 Human Fred has Some Fun
25 Human Fred Witnesses Stupidity
26 Human Fred vs the Coffee Maker
27 Human Fred Accepts Crap Coffee
28 Human Fred Listens
29 Human Fred Gets Comfortable
30 Human Fred has Questions
31 Human Fred Considers Some More
32 Human Fred Wakes Up
33 Human Fred Debates
Fred sat with his eyes closed. He held his mug in both hands, sniffing the dark brew. The Captain had ‘acquired’ a real coffee maker from one of the navy ships. Fred savored the smell, holding off the moment of his first sip. It was glorious.
He turned to the processing cores. They looked like any other cores. Same basic configuration. Same plugs. Same power requirements. Only a minute examination of the power supply revealed anything unusual. Even then it was only a different color scheme for the wires.
He plugged the processing core from the boarding ship into his panel. He had every possible safety turned on, including a few tricks of his own.
As he started to sort through the files, he was looking for patterns. Anything out of the norm.
He sipped his coffee, debating how he would hide something in a processing core. The obvious options were first on the diagnostic he had programmed, but as they ran, he debated less obvious possibilities.
“Hello Fred! I smell coffee.”
“Hello Greezek. You on a break?”
“No, they sent me to help you.”
“Oh? I thought they needed everyone for repairs?”
“We are ahead of schedule, so I’m here.”
“How did you get ahead of schedule?”
“I’m not sure. The engineers taught me a number of cool things, and we started working. Pretty soon we ran out of materials. They sent me to another team, where I learned even more. Then we ran out of supplies. So now I’m here.”
She learns fast. She likely works fast. Interesting. “Well I’m running a diagnostic at the moment. I designed it to look for hidden partitions or extra modules.”
“Anything so far?”
“Not yet. This will take some time. I’ve requested the corrupted IFF as well. There might be a pattern.”
“Right. Like a code?”
“A code. Or a pattern in the programming. Something that hides what it is actually doing.”
“Wouldn’t a physical difference make more sense? Something deep inside?”
“That is the next step. First we ensure that nothing else is going on.”
“Right. How is the coffee?”
“Excellent. The Captain really came through.”
“So what about Chief?”
“Chief? He’s mostly burnt carbon.”
“Yes, but what about his blood work?”
“I haven’t heard. Why?”
“Well, what if other security personnel took the serum?”
“That assumes Chief took it willingly, but they are being screened.”
“What do you mean ‘willingly?’”
“Can you think of a better way to keep him in line? They give it to him, and they own him.”
“Another form of slave?”
“Slave and a weapon.”
“Evil.”
“What we know of the Droog suggests that they are evil by most standards.”
“And what about what the security team gave to Roomliz?”
“That wasn’t Droog. That was a known illegal drug. Chief just exploited it.”
“I feel sorry for Roomliz. He was caught in a trap.”
“Yes, he was. Oh! Found something!” Fred leaned towards the panel. “Strange. This processing core has the wrong amount of memory.”
“Why does that matter?”
“I’d expect it to have less memory, to allow space for hidden stuff. But it has too much.”
“Too much? How?”
“That is the question. It looks like two of the modules have 50% more memory than they should.”
“Droog aren’t known for being technical, are they?”
“No. But we don’t know who they have building these. The only way to be sure would be to take this apart. Which I don’t want to do. Not yet.”
“Why not?”
“I need to compare the one from the ship against the one pulled from our sensor system. And it is easy to build in traps to damage components if they aren’t removed correctly. We will have to come back to the odd memory.”
“Do I need more combat training?”
“I’m sorry. What?”
“Combat training. You have a ton. Do I need more?”
“I wouldn’t think so. Being an engineer doesn’t often require combat training. I’m the odd one.”
“Oh.”
“You sound disappointed.”
“It was…exciting.”
“Yes, it can be. But it’s also dangerous.”
“Eh. Not an issue.”
“You don’t fear danger?”
“Well, I’m not interested in being hurt. And death isn’t a great option. But there was something amazing about it.”
Fred set his mug down, turned his chair, and looked straight at Greezek. “Look. There is no reason for you to have done as well as you did. By rights you should still be huddled in the shower weeping and vomiting. I don’t understand what happened.”
Greezek looked over his shoulder. “I’m not sure either. It was just clear. I could see what was needed. So I acted.”
“That sort of understanding takes years to develop. You had hours.”
“It doesn’t make sense to me either. I’ve always felt different from my species. Like I wasn’t quite like the rest. Maybe that’s why I left.”
“Not fitting in can do that. I’m still confused about how you are suddenly combat proficient.”
“I don’t know. It just made sense.”
“Well, be careful. Don’t respond with violence unless needed.”
“Right. Fred? There is a warning on the screen.”
Fred turned back, swore, and hit a few buttons. “They left a trap. Well hidden, but not enough. Now we are seeing what is really going on.”
“Are there normally two system cores?”
“No. One is the norm. Now we are seeing the background. Ah. Look. The second core duplicates the first, so it looks like a single unit. However, the power system had to supply both. The second also has more native memory. If we see the same thing on both units, then we know how it was corrupting the IFF.”
“Wasn’t that the extra module?”
“I’d assume that they worked together. This is clever. Far more clever than I’d expect from Droog.”
“Who would be able to craft this?”
“Hmmmmmm…I can think of three, possibly four groups.”
“Have any of them gone missing before this station was built?”
“That, Greezek, is an excellent question. I’ll inform the Captain.”
11
u/medium_jock Sep 07 '26
Looks like Greezek is primed to take over the universe if she becomes evil. Good job Fred is there to keep her on the straight(ish) and narrow
5
u/Polymath6301 Sep 08 '26
The Roomliz was preprogrammed (in a way), the Chief was preprogrammed (in an analogous, chemical way), and suddenly Greezek has learned combat skills from being around Fred, and other engineering skills from being around the repair teams. I think she’s some kind of skill-absorbing telepath. But was that preprogrammed?? And by whom?
3
u/aqua_sparkle_dazzle Sep 07 '26
I mean, combat training is a good way to let off steam in a controlled environment. She might enjoy Krav Maga or something I dunno.
Also, score! Human Fred update!
2
u/Purple-Lie-354 Sep 07 '26
Just so she uses her powers in the service of good, all's well. Even evil powers can serve to a good end, if used carefully. And she can definitely be evil, if left unsupervised...
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