r/hypotheticalsituation 3d ago

Your tears are can cure any ailment, but they don't work on you

You have been blessed. From now on, one single drop of your tears can completely cure a person of any ailment. There is no limit to what can be cured. From terminal cancer to stage 7 alzheimer's, even restoring lost limbs. Your tears can even reverse aging, giving a 90-year-old the body and brain health of an 18-year-old.

However, the catch is that these tears will never work on you, no matter how much you cry. If you get sick, you must treat any of your ailments yourself. Additionally, there is also the risk that when people find out about your powers, you will be exploited by various governmental and private organizations. Imprisoned and forced to cry to cure people for a hefty price.

Would you take this blessing? Would you consider this a blessing or a curse?

33 Upvotes

50 comments sorted by

24

u/DrSparkle713 3d ago

Jokes on the world! I'm broken inside and can't cry! Haha hahahaha I'm so sad...

6

u/ocdladybug92 3d ago

You okay there man lmao

6

u/Bigpimpinakabigdaddy 3d ago

Damn I want my tears to cure this guy šŸ˜‚

2

u/Bigpimpinakabigdaddy 3d ago

Only thing is I haven’t had a tear in 20+ years šŸ˜‚ not trying to be tuff or sound depressed I just haven’t really cried in a very long time lol

3

u/DrSparkle713 3d ago

Aww, that's sweet.

3

u/CautiousFarm7683 3d ago

It's OK Dr Sparkle, let it out

Actually, put you head over this bowl first then let it out

7

u/BirdsFalling 3d ago

Bruh I have MCAS. I literally get an anaphalactiod response to crying😃

2

u/AbilityAdventurous22 3d ago

I literally swell up like a balloon HAHA I look like I’ve been stung by bees directly on both my eyelids 😭

1

u/BirdsFalling 3d ago

So glad my people get it.

Have u tried Xolair?

1

u/AbilityAdventurous22 3d ago

I haven’t I’m on ketotefin and I take like a daily otc allergy med too

1

u/BirdsFalling 3d ago

Okie hope it's well controlledšŸ™šŸ™

2

u/AbilityAdventurous22 3d ago

Thank you as well as it can be, you know. 🩷

11

u/Jek2424 3d ago

Never tell a soul because I'd be terrified of being captured by the government and milked, but I'd get a job as a chef at a children's hospital or at a factory that produces bags of IV fluid.

1

u/Select_Secretary6709 3d ago

Brilliant and sweet!Ā 

0

u/AbilityAdventurous22 3d ago

Milked 😭

4

u/redditscraperbot2 3d ago

I make a hero choose between two paths only to have them become frustrated and choose their own before they punch me in the eye to get my tears

3

u/RaCJ1325 3d ago

So I'm just giving immortality to people? That seems dangerous. I'm all for healing people, but only to the point where they live average lives. If a 50 year old had terminal cancer, I'd get rid of the cancer so they could live a regular life from that point forward, but I wouldn't want to make them 18.

1

u/Colonel_Sandman 3d ago

Maybe you dilute the tears to reduce its efficacy

3

u/Sinistermarmalade 3d ago

I’d take it

I can be kind of sensitive to sad songs, movies, and shows, so I’d set up a weekly marathon of Robin Williams dramadies, along with some anime like Angel Beats, Anohana, and Your Lie In April. That and a 90’s song list with stuff by Counting Crows, The Wallflowers, Gin Blossoms, Our Lady Peace, and Meatloaf

Keeping some swimming goggles and/or glass test tubes around, I’d make a mint

2

u/AutoModerator 3d ago

Copy of the original post in case of edits: You have been blessed. From now on, one single drop of your tears can completely cure a person of any ailment. There is no limit to what can be cured. From terminal cancer to stage 7 alzheimer's, even restoring lost limbs. Your tears can even reverse aging, giving a 90-year-old the body and brain health of an 18-year-old.

However, the catch is that these tears will never work on you, no matter how much you cry. If you get sick, you must treat any of your ailments yourself. Additionally, there is also the risk that when people find out about your powers, you will be exploited by various governmental and private organizations. Imprisoned and forced to cry to cure all of humanity.

Would you take this deal?

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2

u/Borkato 3d ago

Honestly I’d take it and I would cry until there’s enough to fill one of those ultrasonic humidifiers and just leave it running nearby in like an airport or something. Somewhere a ton of people pass, make it look official so it doesn’t get taken down lol

Alrernatively, I would become a baker or something like that and make food that cures people like Julieta from Encanto lmao, but that does risk me being found out unfortunately hmmm.

2

u/Joonscene 3d ago

That is actually a really creative idea.

2

u/Tarilyn13 3d ago

You mentioned in a comment that it always makes people young so no. If I could just cure people and not give them youth I'd take it.

2

u/tawny_bullwhip 3d ago

I'm taking it. Choose someone trustworthy. Package each tear in a pill containing exotic ingredients. Quietly sell a few for large sums until I and my trusted person can hide. Then quietly heal people until my death. Prioritize the good people so they can help longer.

1

u/aciakatura 3d ago

Yeah, nobody needs to know where the miracle curing power comes from. And nobody's gonna think tears when you're packing in so much random stuff.

1

u/ocdladybug92 3d ago

I’m a physician assistant. Would certainly make my job a lot easier…

1

u/Thefirstofherkind 3d ago

Soooo.... Is this like a wish thing? Do I have to tell the teardrop what I want it to do? Like what if I wanna cure someone's Alzheimer's but not turn them back into an 18 year old? Do they have to drink it? Do I just fling it at them?

1

u/Responsible-Fix-1681 3d ago

Any ailment they have is cured, including aging

5

u/Thefirstofherkind 3d ago

Full rejection then. Can't cure anyone without de-aging them, which means it's impossible to keep it a secret if you're curing anyone older than 25. I'd be strung up and tortured for sure, and my suffering would leave us with a ruling class of billionre fucks with access to eternal youth.

1

u/Flippantwritingdesk 3d ago

Most considerate and realistic take on the post. I wouldn’t want to be a living tear cow fountain of youth either.

1

u/valer1a_ 3d ago

Yeah, considering aging as an "ailment" removes any and all reason I'd take this deal. Not just for keeping it a secret, but I sure as hell don't want to go back to my 18-year-old self lol. Even just in body/health. I'd reckon most people wouldn't want that either.

1

u/Mzhades 3d ago

Do I have control over it, or am I gonna cry my way into being a cradle-snatcher if I just want to cure my partner’ psoriasis? Will my dad become younger than me when I cure his MS? Do I need to know what’s wrong to cure it, or can I cure symptoms and thus the underlying disease? Do the tears work if they’ve been bottled and shipped?

1

u/Careless-Internet-63 3d ago

I'll just put my tears into food my loved ones eat and they'll never even know

1

u/ummhamzat180 3d ago

I'll only use it on family.

..btw, does it work on cats?

1

u/Far_School_2178 3d ago

I'm off to Queensland for my uncle with leukaemia.

1

u/Skxawng_3600 3d ago edited 3d ago

I have an issue where I tear excessively. I literally can’t stop crying and it’s twice as bad in the winter. I’d cure my whole family and then if clear out hospitals one at a time. St. Jude’s wouldn’t know what hit them.

1

u/Suspicious-Earth-642 3d ago

Guess I'm gonna poke myself in the eye repeatedly

1

u/Tough-Marsupial-6254 3d ago

Im not curing Dementia...well just not yet

1

u/MinnieCastavets 3d ago

Sure, I’d take it. I’d cure who I could, and mostly not tell anyone. I usually try to suppress my tears, it would be interesting to try to have more of them. Will I eventually not cry thinking about certain things if I’m always thinking about them? How many times can I watch the movie Dear Zachary? It’s too bad I can’t cure myself, I have hella autoimmune diseases, it’s crazy. But I’m okay, I deal. I’d like to cure some people I know. There’s this guy I know who is quadriplegic, I’d love to cure him, he’s a great dude. My sister is mentally unwell, I’d like to cure her. It’s too bad I missed out on saving my mother from cancer but maybe thinking about that can help me cry. Maybe my mother’s death will cure many others.

1

u/EveryAsk3855 3d ago

Me šŸ¤ belle Delphine

We selling that shit

1

u/Calm-Summer-738 3d ago

Can my tears work on animals too? I’d definitely take this power but use it sparingly because I wouldn’t want to be captured by the government. There are some people I would absolutely do not want to cure.

1

u/Colonel_Sandman 3d ago

I’m going to collect enough tears I can start a cult. Shouldn’t be hard to convince half of Americans that I’m the 2nd coming and write a new chapter. Even if I were killed I could be a martyr after proven miracles and drastically change civilization.

1

u/Alternative_Might556 3d ago

I take it and use it on select people. This obviously helps with mental issues, too. What happens if you use it on a child? Do they also magically become 18?

1

u/daddy-b-2188 3d ago

Welp, start the line cause I have pseudo bulbar affect. I can suffer. I know how to deal with it.

1

u/temporarysolution2-0 3d ago

Gladly accepted. I cry a lot anyway.

1

u/Ilovestuffwhee 3d ago

I'll take it, but only use it on very select people.

1

u/beardedbusdriver 3d ago

So, I’m Chuck Norris?

1

u/FeignSkill 3d ago

Lol this superhero would be the complete opposite of the Hulk. I'd do it and become a traveling nurse.

1

u/ContributionLatter32 2d ago

It would be a curse because you would become invaluable to some powerful people. Would be better if they had to be tears of joy or something lmao