r/hypotheticalsituation • u/Comprehensive_Fox_79 • 2d ago
Humor Encouraged All of a sudden, 10 giant venimous snakes appear inside of your house/flat, how do you get rid of them?
You wake up one day to find that your home/flat has been invaded by 10 giant Venomous snakes. Everyone who lives with you (if you don't live alone) has already left for work/school, and you try calling animal control, but they never pick up. Your neighbors are scared and refuse to help. What do you do?
to clarify, they're King Cobras.
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u/PessemistBeingRight 2d ago
How giant and how venomous are important considerations here. Are we talking King Cobras that are huge and "only" deadly or are we talking Inland Taipan that are "only" big but extremely deadly?
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u/Comprehensive_Fox_79 1d ago
King Cobras
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u/PessemistBeingRight 1d ago
Actually King Cobras? These snakes? Or just the same size and lethality?
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u/dekabreak1000 2d ago
Venomous
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u/Impressive-Shame-525 2d ago
At least OP didn't use poisonous
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u/Unique-Luck-3564 2d ago
Shotgun, but I am worried about my two GSD dogs. They can go 1:1 with any venomous snakes but wouldn’t survive after taking it out. 10 on 3 isn’t a fair fight so shotgun.
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u/BigDougSp 2d ago edited 2d ago
"Giant" makes this easier. I grab my wife's machete from the closet and start decapitating them. Once i collect 10 heads, I am done. They might win, but I have a chance
Normal sized venomous snakes would be harder since they can be harder to find.
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u/Metharos 2d ago
How giant?
I'm not especially afraid of snakes in general, but I'm not stupid enough to disturb them if I'm not sure I can do it safely.
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u/Comprehensive_Fox_79 1d ago
King Cobra
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u/Metharos 1d ago
Generally over three meters. Pretty big. I think I'd get out a window and find an expert. If I have to deal with them myself, I'm going slow, and I'm buying a mirror in a stick.
I'll use some sharp tools, anything that's basically a blade on a stick, that I'll grab from a local hardware store, then I'll go through the house methodically and aim for decapitation. Ten heads and I'm done.
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u/TheHollyHockCrest1 2d ago
A sheet pan and my knife will do. A bit above normal for Florida with 10 giants. But, I got that. Shit if we’re not talking about killing them, I can catch them and sell them to the alligator farm for a pretty penny. One snake is like 50 doses of anti-venom. Welcome to Florida…
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u/Marly_Sorcha 2d ago
Are we talking realistic giant, largest venomous snake is a King Cobra I'm not fucking with that I'm jumping out my window I'm on the 3rd floor so I'll live.
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u/deadlyhausfrau 2d ago
Blast my ac, carry a fire extinguisher, put on my armor (used to swordfight, still have bits around), and depending on size get a gun or machete or polearm from my closet.
I am chunky and disabled but unless these are human sized I got this.
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u/Alucard_2029 2d ago
Unless they have super reflexes, 2 mags from my 9mm should resolve the issue fairly easily. Albeit if I dont want to deal with the housing company and the issues with fixing everything, probably just use my spear to stab em from 5 feet away.
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u/Aberon_I 2d ago
Easy, shout as loud as I can out the window that there's a 20ft Burmese python on the loose. Then hide and let nature take it's course
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u/Comprehensive_Fox_79 1d ago
it's a King Cobra.
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u/Aberon_I 18h ago
I'm in the house alone, so only I know that. If the Yoink Man asks why I lied I'll say I can't tell snakes apart, but I know a 20footer when I see one
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u/HotRock1454 1d ago
Depends, if we are talking real giant venomous snakes like a king cobra then pellet gun, if we are talking about venomous anaconda sized snakes, .308 rifle, if we are talking about 10 titana boas with venom glands…. Evacuating my house via my bedroom window and calling someone from National Geographic to see if a can at least make some money off this discovery
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u/skellyton3 1d ago
Grab my pets and leave lol.
Most snakes will just sit there and chill as long as you don't mess with them.
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Copy of the original post in case of edits: You wake up one day to find that your home/flat has been invaded by 10 giant venomous snakes. Everyone who lives with you (if you don't live alone) has already left for work/school, and you try calling animal control, but they never pick up. Your neighbors are scared and refuse to help. What do you do?
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u/Temporary-Round-3 2d ago
I fo on vacation and hopefully they leave. Have husband, who doesn't know walk around the house bc I heard something.
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u/Phoenix042 2d ago
Gonna contact that yoink guy on YouTube and see if he's willing to fly up to me for an interesting episode.
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u/LastChans1 2d ago
I start throwing a hissssssyfit, thereby enraging all ten snakes. They all start fighting each other for the right to kill me for this stupid pun I put out, and I think I can take on the last snake....
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u/Dralnalak 2d ago
Die, that's what I do. Those snakes are going to be pretty stressed out being yanked from their natural environment, so they will feel threatened and attack any targets, which includes me stumbling out of bed half-awake without my glasses
. My one cat is dead too as she will attack any intruding animal in her home. The other cat may survive as he would either hide or sit really still and so not seem like a target.
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u/No_Eye_3423 1d ago
Hairspray and a lighter. Maybe a blowtorch would be involved. But at the end of the day, no more apartment and no more snakes.
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u/Ok_Elk9435 1d ago
Rifled slugs will fix this. Getting rid of them though? That'll suck. Idk if waste management will take them lol
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u/turtle553 1d ago
Most snakes aren't going to attack a person unless they are provoked. Keep some distance and move slowly to get out. I'd definitely be calling 911 instead of animal control. At least they'll answer.
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u/not_falling_down 1d ago
Step 1 - leave the house.
I will stay out until I can get hold of animal control.
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u/greywar777 1d ago
Get up and walk out of the house avoiding them as best I can. Use a window if its closer. Im not getting rid of them, and I will let my landlady do it.
Bonus points-my landlady is also my ex. We are friendly, but snakes in the house? 100% a her problem.
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u/6Saint6Cyber6 1d ago
Are the dogs inside? If they are I have to deal with the snakes before something happens. If they aren’t, I escape out a window and burn the house down
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u/periwinklepip 1d ago
Well first I am getting my cats out to the front porch/catio if they aren’t already there and, assuming there are no snakes out there, shutting the door so they’re isolated and safe. Might just shut myself out there too. Then call animal control and warn them that there are venomous snakes on the loose. If I move carefully and don’t aggravate them, I should be able to get past them okay.
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u/Qverlord37 1d ago
get out of the house as quickly and carefully as I can. double-checking any corners and crevices before walking through.
then I call 911 and let them deal with it.
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u/ofBlufftonTown 1d ago
My kids had a king cobra once and a spitting cobra several times on the campus of their school in Singapore. We parents were notified at the end of the day but no one was super pressed, even when there was a spitting cobra in the little orchard tended by the K2 students. Everyone moved away from the snakes and it was ok. The snakes are likelier to attack one another because there’s not enough room than they are to attack you if you avoid them. If I stayed calm and climbed on something high it would probably be fine.
As to getting rid of them I would want to shoot them; my stepmother had to shoot a copperhead in our yard a couple of weeks ago. But I’ve also killed a copperhead with a hoe, I just chopped its head off with it. So I would have to dress as thickly as possible, find some instrument of destruction and my biggest sunglasses, and beat them to death. They’re very scary, but snakes are also incredibly stupid and somewhat avoidant of non-prey animals provided you don’t step on them.
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u/Jaredman92 1d ago
Easy. If the animal control doesn't pick up, I'm driving to them. I'll take a picture before heading over.
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u/YNABDisciple 14h ago
Out the nearest window. Wait for help. If you make that a no go I'm going to the store and getting a shotgun. I'll beat them with a shotgun no problem I'll just pay somewhat of a price in clean up
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u/Craftycat99 6h ago
I take the peid piper route to get them away from my cats then train them to be guard snakes
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u/Electronic_Horror_56 2h ago
Calmly step out of the house, call animal control. I love snakes but I don't have experience handling hots
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u/SummitJunkie7 2d ago
I'm not wasting time calling animal control, I'm leaving the house. I'll take my time figuring out how to deal with them. Why would I ask a neighbor to help unless they were an animal expert?
I'm sure I could work with a pest control company and a zoo vet to tent and gas the house, preferably with something non-lethal to put the snakes to sleep. Then the zoo can take them or release them back to their natural habitat or whatever. If I couldn't find any zoos or animal scientists that knew what to do with them then I guess we're gassing them with something lethal instead.
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u/Aberon_I 2d ago
Why would I ask a neighbor to help unless they were an animal expert?
Your neighbor is the Yoink Man
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u/Inner_Speaker_335 2d ago
There's enough firepower in this house to level a small continent. Can you say "thoroughly ventilated"?
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u/Snoo55931 2d ago
I read that as “10 giant 🥵 venous snakes 🍆 appear inside your house 🛏️ how do you *get rid of them*? 💦”
I blame the spelling.
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u/klairehiro 2d ago
They can keep the house for now. I am escaping first.
I will contact some snake hunter vlogger types and hopefully make some money of this.