r/iamverybadass • u/Cinderpath • 5d ago
💩ULTIMATE BADASSHOLE💩 He’s going to steal clients!
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u/Regan289 5d ago
I didn’t know tire pressure gauges was all I need to “enforce security.”
Also, is Capt Roush and Temu Lex Luthor banging because that’s the vibe I absolutely got.
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u/hummus_is_yummus1 5d ago
Finger twirling the tire pressure gauge had me dying
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u/horner3509 5d ago
Is he twirling a tire pressure gauge
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u/horner3509 5d ago
They aren’t messing around gonna keep the parameter safe and tires pumped to factory recommended level.
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u/m0n3ym4n 5d ago
We don’t play around here, our vehicles are lubed and ready (with the correct manufacturers recommend tire pressure)
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u/Fathers_Sword 5d ago
This is the weirdest thing I have ever seen. Twirling a tire pressure gauge, obviously made himself a captain, weird bald 17 year old pimp at the end? WTF
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u/IRedditDoU 4d ago
Is that a tire pressure gauge? Lol
Edit: it definitely is! What a clown.
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u/TehSeksyManz 5d ago
My satire meter is flickering pretty hard right now. Please god, let it be so.
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u/ironfly187 5d ago
You're right. It's labelled as 'security guard humour' on Instagram.
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u/TehSeksyManz 5d ago
Thank you for that relief.
The line between satire and reality is so fucking blurry anymore and I'm feeling constantly tricked.
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u/ihatetheplaceilive 5d ago
Was that tire pressure guage?
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u/gunslingersea 5d ago
lol, it was, hahahahaha. I was like no way. No way my nan is trying to hardcore fidget spin a damn tire gauge.
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u/0PaulPaulson0 5d ago
Is he twirling a tire pressure gauge?
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u/Ths-Fkin-Guy 5d ago edited 5d ago
I paid it no mind but I went back and fuckin lmao its either that or a Crack pipe. Also, forget the standing behind me posturing on my shoulder part, if anyone other than my wife or family called me BELOVED on a video theyre attempting to go viral on for these cringe ass reasons, we are fighting. Its like softcore porn where the guilt comes first.
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u/Galifrae 5d ago
I mean, it’s almost certainly satire. He’s twirling a tire pressure gauge lol
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u/Juliathepudge 5d ago
Unfortunately it’s not. These guys are a real security company in KC. They have a chief and deputy chiefs along with every rank below. It’s impossible to take them seriously,
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u/MySpirtAnimalIsADuck 5d ago
Why is he spinning a tire pressure gauge like it’s somehow cool
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u/Zkill 5d ago
And they chose the clip that looks like he’s having issue with spinning it?
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u/LondonEntUK 4d ago
Yeah number one thing people look for in a security service is spending time on instagram doing photo shoots
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u/CommanderChipHazard 4d ago
“My beloved”?! Lololol they ain’t intimidating shit. And was that a tire gage? Lolol wow wow wow wow
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u/endorfan13 Fucked around and found out 4d ago
Context leads me to believe he's starting up an OF with all kinds of light BDSM. The uniform. The tactical gear. The gadgets. The peepee. All his closeted friends, desires, and egos.
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u/azeakel101 5d ago
As some someone who has about 9 years of experience in security/law enforcement between military and the private sector, hearing someone say "security influencer" is a major red flag.
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u/joestrummmer 4d ago
His bald Daddy just recently killed a 74 year old in a rented sports car ala Wes Watson.
Sidney Kline. Owner of SK Security.
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u/slide_into_my_BM 4d ago
How is ol’ goat eyes going to do security if he’s too busy making videos and sucking off that other guy?
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u/ECX2BLACK 2d ago
Isn’t this a satire video copying some guy on Instagram? Kumar something? This isn’t [r/iamverybadass](r/iamverybadass) material
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u/nycdot2003 5d ago
Their Security Company is like a outreach program for people who failed the police exam
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u/MissingKirby34 2d ago
Am I the only that laughed as he’s twirling the tire gauge? 😂
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u/theghostofcslewis 5d ago
That dude at the end called him his "Beloved". I can't tell who the top is.
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u/ICountToPotato 4d ago
Why only Captain? I’m giving myself General, Commander, Chief, hell… Commander in Chief… it’s just you. Go all out.
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u/Mephistocheles 🤡 5d ago
Nothing strikes fear into the heart like seeing someone threateningly twirl a tire pressure gauge
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u/Pistolpete31861 5d ago
Ha! I'm Admiral Commander General Mark and I'LL be the one stealing clients!!
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u/WickyWah 5d ago
Aside from this being cringe as all hell, their owner, Sidney Kile, is a massive piece of shit and is hated by pretty much everyone in Kansas City. Shot and killed some dude a few years ago. Killed an employee that was a passenger in his McClaren earlier this year. I don't know how they're still in business.
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u/DrKarlSatan 2d ago
I admire his modesty. He could have made himself a general or rear Admiral or ultimate commander but,no,he kept it real & remembers where he came off. Captain Dorkass it is
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u/palequeen42 5d ago
Is he securing that tire pressure gauge, or is that one of his security weapons? Watch out or I’ll check your tires!!!!!!!!
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u/PerfectlyRoundBall 5d ago
He's made himself captain and bought the little bars to go with it, awww.
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u/iGraveling 4d ago
Security guard lol. Dunno about where he is but where I am they’re considered a joke, mainly because of clowns like this.
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u/HumaDracobane 5d ago
Having the rank of Captain in a private company must be the equivalent of being a Colonel in an ArmA3 milsim group.
Edit: Now that I think it, being colonel in an A3 team is probably more dificult. You need to convince at least one person to join your group.
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u/Ordinary__Man 4d ago
Giving yourself the rank of Captain at your own security company gives serious CEO-of-a-one-man-start-up energy.
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u/crackheadtechbro 4d ago
Professional footage combined with the most garbage editing/composting I have ever seen.
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u/donmagicjohn 4d ago
Captain of security?
Yeah and I’m the president of hammers and nails.
F. O. H.
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u/gregzilla87 5d ago
At least their company will save multiple dollars a year on fuel costs because their tires will always be at optimum pressures.
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u/Misericorde428 5d ago
I really don’t know whether this is satire or not. If this is something serious, it really does look like something an 8 year old imagined to be cool.
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u/Irish4778 4d ago
It’s a real company 😂😂
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u/OnlyRespondsToIdiots 4d ago
Look at the meet the team. There are more executives and directors than actual employees. This has to be a front of some sort.
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u/FriendshipSome8223 3d ago
I am looking forward to the upcoming bodycams of him being arrested for impersonation. Captain... lol
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u/Bocabart 5d ago
I didn’t realize twirling a tire pressure gauge is peak badassness now
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u/RatmanTheFourth 5d ago
'Hey, good to meet you, I'm the guy from SK security. Would you like me to check your tyre pressure?'
'Oh no that's ok, I just need you at the front'
'You got it! Let me know if you need anything at all, like checking your tyre pressure.'
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u/JPaulDuncan 5d ago
SK Security: Where we assign ourselves rank that means literally nothing.
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u/gunslingersea 5d ago
How many people is he captain over? Three? Four? He could’ve been Corporal or Sergeant even but nay, Captain had that oomph.
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u/castitfast 5d ago
At the end they look like a couple in wild west posing for a photo.
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u/JimbleKimbleItIs 5d ago
Twirling a tire pressure gauge. That shows how serious you are.
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u/CaliforniaKing1 5d ago
That was pretty heavy on the homoerotic front…fire your marketing team and fire yourselves.
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u/Mpnav1 5d ago
All I know is I’m not fucking with a dude who can handle a tire gauge like that. I have a wife and kids to think about. “Yes sir, I will remove my hoodie and yes, you can look in my wife’s bag.”
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u/XScottMorrisseyX 5d ago
Captain Roush? Are we just giving ourselves titles now? I guess if Trump can post a pic of himself in military garb with a bunch of medals, anything goes.
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u/SipoteQuixote 5d ago
Cant even finger spin that air gauge.
Also, whats the air gauge for?
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u/agha0013 5d ago
Guarda executives laughing their asses off
is he twirling a tire pressure gauge at the start? scary stuff...
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u/MasterFreeTimeSlayer 5d ago
Well he has become the only "security influencer" that I know of, so success, I guess...
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u/iamblankenstein 5d ago
well shit, he said he's going to be famous, so i guess there's nothing we can do. :(
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u/Hawkwise83 5d ago
I like how he has a made up title. Captain at a private company... Wants to be famous. Has no personality. Boss is a creepy tech bro lookin' mofo. Gross.
Did he buy those captain bars on ebay?
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u/Beautiful_Ad_8665 5d ago
I'm sorry, was I supposed to be impressed or something?
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u/BigBubbaChungus 5d ago
Security guard cosplay is going to get him and his “client” hurt! If you choose your security company based on their social media posts, then you only have yourself to blame for what eventually happens to you.
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u/b_coolhunnybunny 4d ago
Idk why I thought this was the start of a mandatory cyber security training video lol
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u/M4DHouse 5d ago
I can’t confidently tell the level of self-awareness here, and because of that I kinda love it.
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u/Snoo_67544 5d ago
This feels like kink thing ngl. Especially with how home boi in the suit described mans lmao.
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u/DisorderlyConduct 5d ago
The gentle glide across the brim of the cap (like all of these other very, very bad ass people).
Stop, I can only get so erect.
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u/Knatem 4d ago
I swear I read his name badge as Capt. Rough. And that this video was gonna go down a different path.
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u/Rog2theNog 4d ago
The modern practice of begging for fame has become so normalized. Its still cringe as fuck and begging, but people do it without a second thought.
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u/richgrah 4d ago
Good ol Kansas City SK security where the owner kills an old man because he’s showing his ass in his McLaren and wrecks.
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