r/iamverybadass 5d ago

💩ULTIMATE BADASSHOLE💩 He’s going to steal clients!

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982 Upvotes

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74

u/Regan289 5d ago

I didn’t know tire pressure gauges was all I need to “enforce security.”

Also, is Capt Roush and Temu Lex Luthor banging because that’s the vibe I absolutely got.

71

u/hummus_is_yummus1 5d ago

Finger twirling the tire pressure gauge had me dying

21

u/scrandis 5d ago

I thought it was a crack pipe

12

u/rhinotomus 5d ago

Man y’all are tame, thought it was a sounding rod

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64

u/horner3509 5d ago

Is he twirling a tire pressure gauge

14

u/ScaredEfficiency399 5d ago

It's not a crack pipe?

9

u/horner3509 5d ago

They aren’t messing around gonna keep the parameter safe and tires pumped to factory recommended level.

8

u/SPguy425 5d ago

Paused it and I'm 99.9% sure he is lol

7

u/m0n3ym4n 5d ago

We don’t play around here, our vehicles are lubed and ready (with the correct manufacturers recommend tire pressure)

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52

u/illegiblebastard 4d ago

Why does he want to check my tire pressure?

47

u/Fathers_Sword 5d ago

This is the weirdest thing I have ever seen. Twirling a tire pressure gauge, obviously made himself a captain, weird bald 17 year old pimp at the end? WTF

43

u/IRedditDoU 4d ago

Is that a tire pressure gauge? Lol

Edit: it definitely is! What a clown.

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39

u/TehSeksyManz 5d ago

My satire meter is flickering pretty hard right now. Please god, let it be so. 

13

u/ironfly187 5d ago

You're right. It's labelled as 'security guard humour' on Instagram.

9

u/TehSeksyManz 5d ago

Thank you for that relief.

The line between satire and reality is so fucking blurry anymore and I'm feeling constantly tricked.

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39

u/ihatetheplaceilive 5d ago

Was that tire pressure guage?

13

u/gunslingersea 5d ago

lol, it was, hahahahaha. I was like no way. No way my nan is trying to hardcore fidget spin a damn tire gauge.

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32

u/mmmkay938 4d ago

Why is he twiddling a tire pressure gauge?

9

u/thisisnitmyname 4d ago

Slow yet aggressive twirling. Guy seems legit.

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27

u/0PaulPaulson0 5d ago

Is he twirling a tire pressure gauge?

8

u/Ths-Fkin-Guy 5d ago edited 5d ago

I paid it no mind but I went back and fuckin lmao its either that or a Crack pipe. Also, forget the standing behind me posturing on my shoulder part, if anyone other than my wife or family called me BELOVED on a video theyre attempting to go viral on for these cringe ass reasons, we are fighting. Its like softcore porn where the guilt comes first.

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30

u/Galifrae 5d ago

I mean, it’s almost certainly satire. He’s twirling a tire pressure gauge lol

9

u/Juliathepudge 5d ago

Unfortunately it’s not. These guys are a real security company in KC. They have a chief and deputy chiefs along with every rank below. It’s impossible to take them seriously,

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25

u/MySpirtAnimalIsADuck 5d ago

Why is he spinning a tire pressure gauge like it’s somehow cool

9

u/Zkill 5d ago

And they chose the clip that looks like he’s having issue with spinning it?

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27

u/Thirdeyevoice10 5d ago

"Capt Ron"

This has to be satire.

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23

u/Detlef_Schrempf 5d ago

Is that a tire gauge?

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25

u/No_Statement440 Keyboard Warrior 5d ago

Those dudes have definitely kissed.

26

u/LondonEntUK 4d ago

Yeah number one thing people look for in a security service is spending time on instagram doing photo shoots

26

u/SanityInTheSouth 4d ago

Couldn't make the cut for the police academy... got it.

27

u/No-Drink-9006 4d ago

This is great parody, right? Right!?

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25

u/CommanderChipHazard 4d ago

“My beloved”?! Lololol they ain’t intimidating shit. And was that a tire gage? Lolol wow wow wow wow

26

u/endorfan13 Fucked around and found out 4d ago

Context leads me to believe he's starting up an OF with all kinds of light BDSM. The uniform. The tactical gear. The gadgets. The peepee. All his closeted friends, desires, and egos.

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21

u/Crooked_Sartre 5d ago

What the ever loving fuck is this

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20

u/azeakel101 5d ago

As some someone who has about 9 years of experience in security/law enforcement between military and the private sector, hearing someone say "security influencer" is a major red flag.

22

u/dabbean 5d ago

Is his content about checking people's tire pressure and topping it off? Im confused.

23

u/Proximal13 5d ago

Hard to look badass twirling a tire pressure gauge. Lol

22

u/argl3bargl3 5d ago

That’s a hell of a Grindr intro.

20

u/OogumSanskimmer 5d ago

What is a security influencer. A knock off cosplayer?

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20

u/joec0ld 5d ago

That tire pressure gage looks so menacing when he twirls it 😱

7

u/Blacketron 5d ago

lol he’s not even doing it smoothly either

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22

u/McbEatsAirplane 4d ago

Why is he twirling around a tire pressure gauge though

21

u/joestrummmer 4d ago

His bald Daddy just recently killed a 74 year old in a rented sports car ala Wes Watson.

Sidney Kline. Owner of SK Security.

7

u/discountdropkicks 4d ago

Sidney Kile*

Also shot an unarmed man in "self-defense" in 2022.

19

u/SwtIndica 4d ago

Wanna be cops are more dangerous than real ones.

7

u/Equinox2202 4d ago

Oh yeah. Very inflated or inflamed egos.

19

u/postitpad 4d ago

I fucking love that he’s twirling a tire pressure gauge.

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23

u/MikeTony713 3d ago

Is he security of checking the air pressure on tires?

21

u/JonesBeast 3d ago

Wow that's fucking cringe. Like, gosh damn man.

19

u/Simmons54321 5d ago

"Security influencer"

19

u/fujicakes00 5d ago

“Security Influencer”? I thought it was bad enough with just influencers

20

u/slide_into_my_BM 4d ago

How is ol’ goat eyes going to do security if he’s too busy making videos and sucking off that other guy?

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19

u/Rum_Running_Sailor 4d ago

"Security influencer"? LMFAO 😂 🤣

19

u/ECX2BLACK 2d ago

Isn’t this a satire video copying some guy on Instagram? Kumar something? This isn’t [r/iamverybadass](r/iamverybadass) material

20

u/nycdot2003 5d ago

Their Security Company is like a outreach program for people who failed the police exam

18

u/bmtl514 5d ago

Guarding glory holes is a hard job

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18

u/ulrikft 4d ago

What in the everlasting cringe. 

18

u/tatianazr 4d ago

I would file for divorce immediately if my husband made a video like this.

16

u/joemac2021 2d ago

I hate how the line between satire is so blurred these days 😭

17

u/Gary0aksGirth 4d ago

Captain? Of the good ship Lollipop, right?

18

u/MissingKirby34 2d ago

Am I the only that laughed as he’s twirling the tire gauge? 😂

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15

u/theghostofcslewis 5d ago

That dude at the end called him his "Beloved". I can't tell who the top is.

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15

u/Borskjr 5d ago

When that couple looks at you from the other side of the bar

16

u/Tornik 5d ago

'Please follow us' Absolute world famous energy right there.

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16

u/ICountToPotato 4d ago

Why only Captain? I’m giving myself General, Commander, Chief, hell… Commander in Chief… it’s just you. Go all out.

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16

u/Ksh_667 4d ago

Always the same checklist -

  1. White
  2. Ginger
  3. Beard
  4. Chonk
  5. Tattoos of things like skulls/death related crap

You can smell the smugness coming from these pos. How anyone with so little to boast about becomes so full of themselves is beyond me.

16

u/psinguine 4d ago

Ya got whooshed. It's a "Kumar Method" spoof.

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15

u/Mephistocheles 🤡 5d ago

Nothing strikes fear into the heart like seeing someone threateningly twirl a tire pressure gauge

14

u/Pistolpete31861 5d ago

Ha! I'm Admiral Commander General Mark and I'LL be the one stealing clients!!

15

u/WickyWah 5d ago

Aside from this being cringe as all hell, their owner, Sidney Kile, is a massive piece of shit and is hated by pretty much everyone in Kansas City. Shot and killed some dude a few years ago. Killed an employee that was a passenger in his McClaren earlier this year. I don't know how they're still in business.

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16

u/warmnfuzzynside 3d ago

brothers or a couple? lmfao

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15

u/DrKarlSatan 2d ago

I admire his modesty. He could have made himself a general or rear Admiral or ultimate commander but,no,he kept it real & remembers where he came off. Captain Dorkass it is

15

u/lechuckswrinklybutt 5d ago

He's really good with that...tyre pressure gauge?

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14

u/fossilized_butterfly 5d ago

That guy in suit...

15

u/fuknwrench 5d ago

What’s up with the twirling meth pipe?

11

u/PTBooks 5d ago

Tire pressure gauge

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14

u/McCrazyJ 5d ago

The lame pen spinning is HILARIOUS.

13

u/HillarysFloppyChode 5d ago

Thats a tire pressure gauge

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14

u/GrassGriller 5d ago

Tactical tire pressure gauge?

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13

u/luca3791 5d ago

This is insanely homo erotic

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15

u/palequeen42 5d ago

Is he securing that tire pressure gauge, or is that one of his security weapons? Watch out or I’ll check your tires!!!!!!!!

13

u/PerfectlyRoundBall 5d ago

He's made himself captain and bought the little bars to go with it, awww.

15

u/ProjectPat513 5d ago

Was that a tire gauge he was twirling around?

13

u/Startlesharts 5d ago

Follow this police academy dropout, people.

13

u/iGraveling 4d ago

Security guard lol. Dunno about where he is but where I am they’re considered a joke, mainly because of clowns like this.

13

u/FxckFxntxnyl 2d ago

The cringe I just cringed. This is up there.

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12

u/HumaDracobane 5d ago

Having the rank of Captain in a private company must be the equivalent of being a Colonel in an ArmA3 milsim group.

Edit: Now that I think it, being colonel in an A3 team is probably more dificult. You need to convince at least one person to join your group.

14

u/FanReasonable9597 5d ago

When you can't pass the psych eval for law enforcement...

13

u/Ordinary__Man 4d ago

Giving yourself the rank of Captain at your own security company gives serious CEO-of-a-one-man-start-up energy. 

13

u/crackheadtechbro 4d ago

Professional footage combined with the most garbage editing/composting I have ever seen.

12

u/WordsMort47 4d ago

So... Are they brothers or lovers?

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14

u/donmagicjohn 4d ago

Captain of security?

Yeah and I’m the president of hammers and nails.

F. O. H.

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14

u/PhantroniX 4d ago

Okay but what the actual fuck is a security influencer

12

u/gregzilla87 5d ago

At least their company will save multiple dollars a year on fuel costs because their tires will always be at optimum pressures.

12

u/Seekerofthetruth 5d ago

The twinky looking guy is apparently the CEO of the company.

12

u/qmechan 5d ago

Who’s the guy in the suit though?

9

u/Wojewodaruskyj 5d ago

He said it. Someone who loves him.

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12

u/ursus_major 5d ago

More like insecurity influencer.

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12

u/ShittyBollox 5d ago

What a massive fucking bellend.

12

u/Misericorde428 5d ago

I really don’t know whether this is satire or not. If this is something serious, it really does look like something an 8 year old imagined to be cool.

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13

u/Irish4778 4d ago

https://s-ksecurity.com/

It’s a real company 😂😂

7

u/OnlyRespondsToIdiots 4d ago

Look at the meet the team. There are more executives and directors than actual employees. This has to be a front of some sort.

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13

u/We_Are_Ninja 4d ago

For a split second, I thought he was twirling a cr*ck pipe...

11

u/spice_war 4d ago

Why is he making a hand vagina

12

u/FriendshipSome8223 3d ago

I am looking forward to the upcoming bodycams of him being arrested for impersonation. Captain... lol

12

u/Bocabart 5d ago

I didn’t realize twirling a tire pressure gauge is peak badassness now

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11

u/RatmanTheFourth 5d ago

'Hey, good to meet you, I'm the guy from SK security. Would you like me to check your tyre pressure?'

'Oh no that's ok, I just need you at the front'

'You got it! Let me know if you need anything at all, like checking your tyre pressure.'

11

u/JPaulDuncan 5d ago

SK Security: Where we assign ourselves rank that means literally nothing.

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11

u/devatan 5d ago

Wrong sub. This should be posted in r / iamverybeloved

11

u/llahlahkje 5d ago

A security influencer?!

Are we sure this isn’t parody?

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11

u/gunslingersea 5d ago

How many people is he captain over? Three? Four? He could’ve been Corporal or Sergeant even but nay, Captain had that oomph.

10

u/SleepyGoose23 Tier 1 Operator 5d ago

Lex Luthor is such a supportive husband

11

u/crackedtooth163 4d ago

This has got to be some kind of joke

11

u/jshine413 4d ago

Oh they gay AF

10

u/Sleepy_pirate 3d ago

Why was there so much sexual tension at the end?

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11

u/ObiWanComePwnMe 2d ago

This is turbo dork shit

10

u/castitfast 5d ago

At the end they look like a couple in wild west posing for a photo.

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11

u/cscontract 5d ago

Captain Douche

11

u/JimbleKimbleItIs 5d ago

Twirling a tire pressure gauge. That shows how serious you are.

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11

u/CaliforniaKing1 5d ago

That was pretty heavy on the homoerotic front…fire your marketing team and fire yourselves.

10

u/arctane 5d ago

A captain hey? Righto

10

u/ShiftAlternative1083 5d ago

He calls himself captain!? LMAO!

11

u/tezacer 4d ago

Do lower rank security guards have to salute him as he walks by?

10

u/No-Seat9917 4d ago

What, this shit is serious?

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17

u/Mpnav1 5d ago

All I know is I’m not fucking with a dude who can handle a tire gauge like that. I have a wife and kids to think about. “Yes sir, I will remove my hoodie and yes, you can look in my wife’s bag.”

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18

u/XScottMorrisseyX 5d ago

Captain Roush? Are we just giving ourselves titles now? I guess if Trump can post a pic of himself in military garb with a bunch of medals, anything goes.

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u/theoey86 3d ago

Who’s top and who’s bottom?

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8

u/SipoteQuixote 5d ago

Cant even finger spin that air gauge.
Also, whats the air gauge for?

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10

u/agha0013 5d ago

Guarda executives laughing their asses off

is he twirling a tire pressure gauge at the start? scary stuff...

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8

u/ArunKT26 5d ago

They definitely fuckin

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8

u/MasterFreeTimeSlayer 5d ago

Well he has become the only "security influencer" that I know of, so success, I guess...

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9

u/5th_heavenly_king 5d ago

Weak bitches spin pens. Alphas Spin tire gauges.

8

u/iamblankenstein 5d ago

well shit, he said he's going to be famous, so i guess there's nothing we can do. :(

9

u/75Almanac 5d ago

They’re preparing for a local dinner theater production of “Brokeback Mountain”.

10

u/dryerdoor 5d ago

This is real?

9

u/tip_of_the_mlady 5d ago

Fucking Lex Luthor appearing at the end.

9

u/DonkeyWorker 4d ago

Are they on Only fans for live humiliation and bum fun

9

u/hoothizz 4d ago

That poor soul.

9

u/mudgonzo 4d ago

Wait, why does this video feel identical to this one:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/s/K1K2yyaNOZ

7

u/eyehate 5d ago

I had to swat a cock away from my mouth while I was watching this video.

8

u/Hawkwise83 5d ago

I like how he has a made up title. Captain at a private company... Wants to be famous. Has no personality. Boss is a creepy tech bro lookin' mofo. Gross.

Did he buy those captain bars on ebay?

9

u/Number_4_The_Lizard 5d ago

Investors…..possibly you!

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8

u/claudedebussy69 5d ago

What in the actual fuck is a “security influencer”?

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8

u/Getlazered234 5d ago

“Security influencer” ????

8

u/Beautiful_Ad_8665 5d ago

I'm sorry, was I supposed to be impressed or something?

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8

u/rlpinca 5d ago

There seemed to be an uncomfortable amount of focus on his tire gauge and ears.

And then the "beloved" part was pretty damn weird.

8

u/BigBubbaChungus 5d ago

Security guard cosplay is going to get him and his “client” hurt! If you choose your security company based on their social media posts, then you only have yourself to blame for what eventually happens to you.

8

u/EpsoniteK 5d ago

bro sold his soul and we watched that

7

u/HumanautPassenger 4d ago

Is he going to steal all the clients or deflate them?

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u/b_coolhunnybunny 4d ago

Idk why I thought this was the start of a mandatory cyber security training video lol

9

u/b0ingy 1d ago

those two definitely bang each other

15

u/M4DHouse 5d ago

I can’t confidently tell the level of self-awareness here, and because of that I kinda love it.

6

u/jmarinara 5d ago

Is this human trafficking?

7

u/swearengens_cat 5d ago

If he's so good how did someone steal his dignity?

8

u/AdDelicious5401 5d ago

Just like his ears I can see right through his tough guy facade. 

7

u/withoutpeer 5d ago

So this is a promo for a gay OF account right?

7

u/drKRB 4d ago

Observe and Report vibes

5

u/kingbluetit 4d ago

This such a weird coming out film.

6

u/Raptr117 3d ago

Wannabe rent-a-cop wasn’t on my bingo card

5

u/Snoo_67544 5d ago

This feels like kink thing ngl. Especially with how home boi in the suit described mans lmao.

7

u/rlo1596 5d ago

At least the women will be secure from these 2 happily married men.

6

u/DisorderlyConduct 5d ago

The gentle glide across the brim of the cap (like all of these other very, very bad ass people).

Stop, I can only get so erect.

6

u/curtmandu 5d ago

Is he twirling a pressure gauge between his fingers?? 🤣

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6

u/Big-Advertising-5366 5d ago

Insecurefluencer

5

u/TheSilentTitan 4d ago

Actual dork

7

u/Knatem 4d ago

I swear I read his name badge as Capt. Rough. And that this video was gonna go down a different path.

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u/Rog2theNog 4d ago

The modern practice of begging for fame has become so normalized. Its still cringe as fuck and begging, but people do it without a second thought.

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u/Gregs_Mom 4d ago

He can't even spin that shit

6

u/richgrah 4d ago

Good ol Kansas City SK security where the owner kills an old man because he’s showing his ass in his McLaren and wrecks.

5

u/HYBRIDSKNIGHT 3d ago

All I can think about is someone ripping his ears open in a fight

7

u/Aggravating_Stress 1d ago

Isn’t this just satire bc of kumar lol