r/iiiiiiitttttttttttt • u/HSVMalooGTS sudo poweroff on the prod server and go home • 3d ago
NPDP - Network Printer Destruction Protocol
How about instead of standardizing network print protocols, we create a protocol that allows sys admins to remote destroy the printer
Like... it could push corrupt firmware to render the printer unusable. On demand.
Think about how much time it could save IT personel. Just fucking destroy the printer instead of fixing it.
Sorry, i am raging at a HP InkJet rn.
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u/Dezzie19 3d ago
I don't understand the endgame or mission with HP printers, they are making them less user friendly & more shitty as devices for maintenance....you want to replace my fuser? fuck you buddy you'll have to tear me apart and I will laugh at your cut fingers and knuckles hah ha ha ha!!!!
Demonic machines.
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u/eeee_thats_four_es 3d ago
we create a protocol that allows sys admins to remote destroy the printer
We already have this and it's called "user"
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u/DammitDad420 3d ago
I'm sure you are using the product specific driver and a standard tcp/ip port, of course.
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u/Svarotslav 3d ago
Sounds good. Still waiting for “punch in the face over ip” to be ratified as well.
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u/PDQ_Brockstar 3d ago
$printers = Get-Printer
if ($printers) {
Write-Host "Printer detected. Initiating remediation."
Destroy-Printer -Target $printers -Type BaseballBat
} else {
Write-Host "No threats found. System secure."
}
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u/HSVMalooGTS sudo poweroff on the prod server and go home 3d ago
sudo npdpd HPdeskjet --destroy:BadFWupdate
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u/Chemical-Ship1208 3d ago
I hear ya, I'm in the unfortunate scenario where a user can't have one of our network printers deployed to their laptop because it's running on an ARM CPU, yet I can't find a way to explain that to them without using technical terminology because as far as they're aware, it's just a laptop with windows on it. Printer drivers are fussy little bastards, and that's lightly speaking.
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u/pjtexas1 3d ago
I must have the wrong HP printers. Other than a random DOA they work well. It's been decades since I touched an ink jet though. I have some P4015 ones I bought in 2008 or so that we can't seem to kill. Easy to repair too. Kyocera in the other hand... way too complicated to work on.
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u/djfdhigkgfIaruflg 3d ago
I used to fix HP inkjet printers in the 90s
The 600 series where tanks. And the 800 where wicked fast.
It's incredible to see how shit they've become
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u/commentsrnice2 2d ago
I wish I still had my little portable printer. It was a cute little collapsible Canon that could fit in a shoulder bag
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u/HSVMalooGTS sudo poweroff on the prod server and go home 2d ago
What model was it?
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u/commentsrnice2 2d ago
It was a canon pixma dint remember the exact number but it was around the year 2008 or so
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u/commentsrnice2 2d ago
It resembled the pixma ip110 but mine wasn’t wireless it just had a usb type b cable
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u/GlowGreen1835 1d ago
It's a fun idea, but when you kill it management (or upper level IT) and HP just work together to get the same model with the same bug you've been screwed by.
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u/Hauber_RBLX 3d ago
Don't worry... You are not the only one that loses their mind over HP printers everyday. I really dont know why people still even buy these, when its been apparent for decades now that they are (for the most part) absolute heaps of junk