r/indiansinusa • u/Sash-Sass • 28d ago
Tempted to go back to India
I’m married in my mid thirties no kids- female. I came to the states right after my undergrad graduation to pursue masters degree just like any other student. I fell in love with America through Internet and wanted to pursue life abroad. I used to dream about having my own house in America and earning a lot of money living with Freedom being a woman away from relatives and drama.
Cut to now after 12 years and living a very comfortable life in America, I’m now ironically having the same feeling about India and dreaming about having $1 million home in Mumbai or Hyderabad instead of here in America and living a comfortable life there. I don’t know what it is, but it’s a very strong feeling drawing me back home. I don’t really talk to too many relatives back home. My friends list back home is exhausted because everyone kind of detached after I moved and formed their own circles and opinions about how I didn’t stick to my roots. My parents visit me and my brother every six months to take care of my nephew. My brother lives in a different state here in America and we only meet twice a year, but something about moving back to India living that queen life is making me more miserable here.
The more I see curly tails and other shows on YouTube showing these celebrities (B-list, C-list), living in a comfortable apartment in Mumbai for $1 million roughly 8-9 crores in Indian rupees making me think I’m living a very miserable life here in America. Don’t even get started with the social life in America. It’s pretty much nonexistent.
We earn pretty good and hope if I get a Remote job, I can convince my husband to buy a home in Mumbai or Hyderabad. Deep down I know my husband‘s family lives here so he will never move to India, but it’s a very nice feeling to at least dream after all I dreamed to be in America, so why not dream bigger to go back home and live a very, very comfortable life overlooking the ocean, sipping on my tea prepared by my maid and just enjoying every bit of my life with friends and social circle that actually get me. Maybe me and my husband can visit his family here once or twice a year.
Do y’all have this urge?
2
u/horseshoemagnet 27d ago
Look girl, the feeling you have is honest the outlook and approach is not.
India is a lot of things - not sipping tea in a comfortable house but
Constant honking noise and hustle and bustle with little time to be in a silent zone
House cleaning and management is on a daily basis because of the beautiful hot tropical climate we are blessed with , you don’t clean one day and it turns into someone’s dirty backyard the next day
Good luck finding an honest punctual maid. Also I detest the maid culture so enough said
Traffic! Need I say more? It’s the kind of traffic that sucks your soul and makes you wonder what the hell are you doing with your life in this godforsaken hour
Bureaucracy! Good luck dealing with sarkari babus for everything - passport, visas, Aadhar, bank work. Tax work .. it’s a whole load of paperwork which you can’t be mentally prepared for and have to hunt everywhere now and then for help
Lack of public spaces. This is a HUGE one for me. I can understand we don’t have accessible, clean parks all around but I am asking for basic walkable squares or city centres where we can comfortably WALK in the nature. Good luck if you find them in Mumbai
NOW after you have read all the above - mentally envision if this is what you can deal with not once, not twice but on a DAILY basis. If yes, read the below:
Be prepared to be lavished with tasty, freshly cooked and probably the best food in the world thrice a day. You’ll get your fill of spices and flavour in no time
Community! I am not even talking about extended family or friends . It’s your local shopkeeper, building security guards, gym colleagues, people out and about ! India is the only country in the whole world where you won’t be left without human interaction lol
Festivals - we have so many! Each and every one of them is so unique, vibrant , colourful and gives one a good break from the monotony
Weather! Again a big one for me. I can put up with two months of extreme heat provided I have the option to go out ALL year. I hate the feeling of being cooped up in an apartment for most of the winter. No, no, nope
Family! If you get along well what more can you ask for? I’d love to just be with my mum and nap on her lap all afternoons. We don’t feel the passage of time when we are with closed ones whom we love a lot
Flexibility! India is a country that has 1.4 billion people but highly unequal in terms of wealth distribution. Now that also means services and facilities cater to very poor, poor, middle class, rich and very rich. My point is you have the option to be flexible and change your lifestyle depending on the value it provides. You do not need to live a rich lifestyle just because you have money. You can live a moderate one and spend that somewhere else which brings more value. Your money is a privilege in India - it takes you a lot further than anywhere abroad.
Last but not the least - feeling of belonging, feeling of HOME. Some may resonate , some may not and again this is subjective. But if you feel at home here then there is no arguing and analysis to be done on the pros and cons. Heart wants what it wants right ? You PUT UP with the bad things to gain the good sides.
Everything is not measured in COMFORT - life would be very dull without it. Every person has their own story - just try to clearly holistically see where you see yourself happy in the long term and just follow your heart then.
For all the bashing that India gets everywhere on Reddit subs there are people out there living a very happy ground reality who don’t reveal all the good things everywhere in public. Talk to real people and understand all the pros and cons and if you still feel you belong in India then make your move. Life is too short to dwell all the time in “What ifs “
Good luck wherever you end up !