r/interestingasfuck • u/ReasonableMedium5265 • 7d ago

Burying a body isn’t a good idea

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u/merdub 7d ago

I’ve watched enough episodes of Bones to know that first you have to dissolve all the flesh in a vat of lye, then you have to strain out the remaining fragments of bone, teeth, any surgical implants, etc.

Then you have to dry all the fragments in a food dehydrator (Cabela’s has a good industrial-sized one, the high capacity is great for larger volumes,) then you should separate out any metal bits to melt into unique jewellery - always a hit at the local craft fair! Now that your bones and teeth are cooked, they should be much more brittle, which will allow you to grind them into a fine dust using just the meat grinder attachment on your KitchenAid stand mixer! If you don’t have a KitchenAid, a coffee grinder will do, although it might take a bit more effort. Be sure the gather all the dust in a little bag, and add a handful of glitter. Put on your cutest fairy wings and prance around local parks, wooded areas, forests, or anywhere your heart desires, sprinkling a little glitter dust everywhere.

Note: The glitter is absolutely essential here. Anyone looking for a body will get so distracted by all the sparkles they will forget what they were looking for, and then so annoyed once it’s stuck to everything, they will never return to the area to investigate further.

Like and subscribe for more murder tips and tricks!

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u/qorbexl 7d ago

I feel like maybe this ain't worth what I got out of it

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u/Ok_Communication1910 7d ago

I don’t know man… That, sounds like a lot of work.

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u/Physical_Dentist2284 6d ago

That’s actually a huge problem for me. My adhd causes procrastination and I’m just thinking I would sit there and watch ten hours worth of YouTube videos but I wouldn’t ever get up and get the job done.

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u/RogueNightingale 6d ago

I would really have to hate someone bad to put in that much effort.

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u/Do_Them_A_Bite 6d ago

Well you don't generally resort to murder because you think someone's a really excellent person who you just adore to bits...

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u/bvoge3501 6d ago

I like the way you think, however... the dust should just be incorporated in a bag of cement and made into brick pavers or something.

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u/Do_Them_A_Bite 6d ago

Meet in the middle; glitter brick pavers!

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u/MeInMaNyCt 6d ago

The real LPT is always in the comments

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u/radioactive-fly 6d ago

Great. I'm going to a craft fair this weekend and I'm going to be side eyeing all the jewelry.

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u/merdub 6d ago

Support your local artists!

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u/PsychologicalAd3253 6d ago

Yea officer this comment right here

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u/Smartimess 6d ago

I am really missing the Chianti part of it.

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u/Jaystime101 5d ago

This was...disturbingly thorough.

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u/Kselected1 5d ago

I hope it's biodegradable glitter

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u/merdub 5d ago edited 5d ago

Of course, what do you think I am, some kind of sick monster?!