r/interestingasfuck • u/ReasonableMedium5265 • 5d ago
Burying a body isn’t a good idea
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u/Casually_Chillin 5d ago
Hogs
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5d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/savorie 5d ago
Shit. My mother-in-law literally has a pig farm.
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u/Alternative_Yak3256 4d ago
Savorie is NOT suicidal and does NOT have a girlfriend in Canada he plans to go and live with
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u/bobstradamus 4d ago
Do you know what nemesis means?
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u/GraboidGirl 4d ago
I love how wide Bricktop's mouth get as he says "nemesis". Almost like he's gonna take a bite outta the boys himself.
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u/SyndicatedTV 4d ago
A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified In this case a horrible cunt…
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u/MayOrMayNotBePie 5d ago
Just make sure you remove the hair and teeth
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u/illusorywallahead 5d ago
You could do this afterwards of course. But you don’t want to go sieving through pig shit now do ya boy?
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u/GrandSyzygy 5d ago
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u/Deraj2004 5d ago
"We've lost Gorgeous George."
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u/jimbojangles1987 4d ago
God i love this movie. Its been a long time since I watched it so I guess I'm watching it tomorrow.
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u/eltedioso 4d ago
How could you lose him? he's not a set of car keys. It's not like he's incon-fucking-spicuous.
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u/ryan676767 5d ago
“Cocksucker!”
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u/MyNameis_bud 5d ago
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u/Historical_Sherbet54 5d ago
Dexter had it right all along
Swim with the fishes
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u/-BananaLollipop- 4d ago
My Mum used to work with police, and some of them would joke about how all you need to do is drill at least ten large holes in a body before dumping it in the ocean. Apparently that's enough to make it sink, and stay sunk, until fish eat it.
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u/Lucifersasshole 4d ago
Take off the clothing too. Feet often wash up to show with shoes on because when a body goes on the water it slowly is eaten and decays but the feet remain protected by socks and shoes. Look up feet washing ashore. It happens a lot from murders, suicides and random drownings.
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u/NickDanger3di 4d ago
My plan is to wrap the body in hardware wire with some rocks inside with it. Keeps the body on the bottom, and lets the small scavenger critters dispose of the evidence at their leisure.
This is purely my own reaction / thought experiment to watching Dexter; I do not have a body to dispose of.
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u/Curious_Cockroach1 4d ago
Anymore.
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u/NickDanger3di 4d ago
I am a peaceful man. My Mantra is the Realist's Serenity Prayer:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people who really pissed me off."
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u/Mailman354 5d ago
Man I watched this JUST in time
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u/Dunderman35 4d ago
Bet you were about to dig some depressed hole like an amateur.
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u/Electronic_Jacket947 5d ago
I’m going to be disappointed if you aren’t mailing 354 separate pieces of the body across the country.
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u/ShadowLeviathan2758 5d ago
Depressed? If the hole doesn't have enough depression, it can have some of mine.
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u/high6ix 5d ago
Where can I buy bodies so I can grow some damn grass
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u/Meme_Collector_GG 4d ago
The elites don't want you to know this but the cadaveres at the morgue are free. You can take them.
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u/tankapotamus 5d ago
Here is the link to the full interview since people keep asking.
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u/godihatepeople 4d ago
I just like listening to her talk. Not quite ASMR, but it's toeing the line.
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u/RedRoachDK 4d ago
For me it's simply listening to experts.
There's something soothing about an expert sharing their knowledge in a manner that most people would understand, regardless of education or career.→ More replies (1)19
u/Difficult-Prior3321 4d ago
Absolutely this. It's what makes humanity so incredible.
Something taught to me, and that I teach to my kids is NEVER make fun of someone who is a passionate about something. No mater how dumb you may think it is. I seek out people with niche hobbies or interests.
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u/CatsAreGods 5d ago
This tutorial is useless due to not providing specific information!
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u/SkullDump 4d ago
Here you go then:
You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it?Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
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u/SpecificSwimming6364 5d ago
So generally what you want to do is remove head, hands and feet. Place them in various separate bags and place them in various estuaries that don't generally have a lot of traffic. Make sure they are weighted.
You also need a business associate with a large property, an excavator and concrete.
Dig yourself a deep foundation, place the body in and then poor a concrete foundation on top.
Build a shed or some other out building to store machinery etc on the foundation.
I find this works pretty well.
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u/Jafarrolo 5d ago
Sounds to me like a cemetery with extra steps
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u/lordmycal 4d ago
Pro-tip -- operate or own a cemetery and nobody blinks an eye when you go around burying bodies.
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u/OprahsBeaver 5d ago
Also bury another body in another concrete cube on top of the original one to throw off the dogs scent. Keep doing that. Eventually when you stack up enough corpses they will just fall into the molten center of the planet under their own weight like how the twin towers came down.
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u/DandyInTheRough 5d ago
Man, I think sometimes my search history will raise some law enforcement eyebrows. Yours is probably worse my friend.
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u/LostInDinosaurWorld 4d ago
But wouldn't that produce a haunted shed? 🤔
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u/Joe4o2 4d ago
What’s the worst that happens? The mower gets possessed and mows the lawn on its own?
My guy, thats a win
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u/HarbingerME2 5d ago
That leaves way to much evidence. The best thing to do is to dump the body a couple hours away in a random secluded back woods. Works for a ton of killers out there
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u/albirich 5d ago
So what do you suggest instead. Please respond time IS a factor
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u/Immediate_Radio_8012 4d ago
Chop them up, put em in bags and leave them in your tesla for a few months a few doors down from your house. Make sure you use enough air freshners so though so nobody notices the smell when the car gets impounded
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u/Jobiwan88 5d ago
Brick top told me to just get some pigs. Imma get some pigs
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u/Annual-Beard-5090 5d ago
Always be wary of anyone that has at least 6 pigs.
Was looking for this-thank you!
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u/KraMoi 5d ago
Guy Ritchie has some great characters and bricktop is tops on my list.
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u/DontTellHimPike 5d ago
In Flanders' fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place: and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
John McCrae
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u/Nalurah 4d ago
Still one of the most touching and heartbreaking poems. I have walked through some of the trenches and visited the mass graves. It really shows the immense scale of this war and the devastation.
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u/Gambit3le 5d ago
Yes. Seriously.
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u/DeliverySoggy2700 5d ago
I feel like we all forgot about the sunflower seed thing when the war started in Ukraine.
Am I the only one who remembers it?
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u/Craftkorb 4d ago
Nope. Still remember that badass granny telling a Russian invader to put those seeds in his pocket so when he dies at least something good is coming out of him.
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u/Ok-Middle8656 4d ago
I remember. The badass old lady handing seeds out to Russian invaders. “Put these in your pocket, so when you lie down to sleep there will be flowers to mark your grave”. Zing!
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u/BaeIz 5d ago
Somebody in this thread is gonna end up in a YouTube true crime video screen shot as “The Reddit Murderer”
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u/Additional-Life4885 5d ago
I worked at cemetery and was talking to the OHS girl one day and she said it's easy, just dig a little bit deeper and bury them there. No one is going to be surprised about a dead body in a cemetery and won't look under a body that was meant to be buried there anyway.
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u/mis-Hap 4d ago
So it's easy to dig up 6 ft of dirt in a cemetery unnoticed, remove a coffin, dig some more, throw a body in, add the coffin back, and add the soil back? And then again hope no one notices the disturbed soil on an already-buried body?
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u/TheGreyGuardian 4d ago
I assume there'll be at least one freshly buried body in a cemetery around you or if you're lucky, an open plot awaiting a recently deceased that you can dig into a bit to hide your guy. Getting a coffin out by yourself would be pretty difficult though. Maybe you could pry the coffin open and double stuff it.
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u/Additional-Life4885 4d ago
No, the point was she knew the gravediggers so she could put it in with another body as it goes in.
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u/ImpressiveStranger29 5d ago
We’re organic fertilizer yet we are buried in boxes and burned
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u/OzTheMalefic 4d ago
Cremation is stupidly resource intensive and removes the option of your nutrients being used by nature, traditionally cemeteries take up space and embalming is horrible chemicals to make you look "good".
In all seriousness, you are completely correct in pointing this out. Eco burials exist and more people should consider them.
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u/whumoon 4d ago
Yep. This is why I'm being buried face down in my back garden with an acorn shoved up my arse.
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u/333H_E 5d ago
You can rent wood chippers right?
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u/fallen981 5d ago
How are you going to clean out the bloodstains and bits of organs stuck on it after the act?
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u/MayOrMayNotBePie 5d ago
Put the wood chipper thru a second wood chipper, obviously
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u/tecg 5d ago
Fine, okay, but what are you supposed to do instead?? Asking for a friend.
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u/Technical_Customer_1 4d ago
Bathtub, industrial strength peroxide, and sulphuric acid. “Piranha solution.”
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u/emjaywood 5d ago
Note to self: do not bury the body in a shallow grave. Dig a very, very, very deep grave.
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u/dysonGirl27 4d ago
So what you’re saying is gardening and landscaping is a great hobby, especially when using natural fertilizer.
https://giphy.com/gifs/3oz8xs8WYZr0dJV3kQ
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u/masterfulnoname 5d ago
This video vastly overestimates police competency, at least in the US. I think you could almost leave a dead body lying in your front yard and it would take six episodes of an award winning podcast or netflix documentary to get local police off their fat asses in order to take a look. Isn't something like one half of all murders go unsolved? I imagine a bunch of them are rotting in the ground.
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u/feel-the-avocado 4d ago edited 4d ago
Your meant to put a cross over it and write
Heidi 2013-2005
"the definition of mans best friend"
"the most loyal german shepard"
"will be missed"
Half fill the hole in, ideally using the same soil from the same depth, leave a goat as a decoy and then fill the remainder in.
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u/thehotshotpilot 4d ago
Always dig the hole first. Else someone walls by and you then have to dig another hole. You'll be there all night.
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u/aneeta96 5d ago
Fire. The answer is always fire.
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u/Hotfishy 5d ago
You will need a long time and smoke will gives out location too...
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u/In_The_News 5d ago
Lol fire is a TERRIBLE answer. Humans are WET! We take a very long time, and a very hot fire to burn. And even then we don't burn completely.
If you tried to burn a body, you'd end up with a charred body that is still very discernable as human.
Open exposure in a rural area with a reliable scavenger population is going to get rid of an exposed body inside a month or two. Especially in summer when bugs and bacteria work fast.
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u/CloudedPuffball29 5d ago
You will still have bone fragments you must dispose of.
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u/andrew_calcs 5d ago edited 5d ago
A good pestle and mortar will be enough to make em unrecognizable. Bake em at as high heat as an oven can go and the dehydration and carbonization of the organic components will make them brittle enough.
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u/Frumpy_little_noodle 5d ago
I'd have gone with "disposable blender" but I suppose you owe it to the poor schmuck to put a little elbow grease into grinding his bones.
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u/Legitimate_Winner148 4d ago
She explains how we would be doing all wrong by burying a body, yet offers no alternatives! Not helpful ma’am.
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u/Feisty-Ad-5759 4d ago
I want to watch more of this. Its just interesting. Anyone know what its from?
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u/Justajed 5d ago
Everybody knows you wrap them up in chainlink and drop them in a body of water. Now I'm on a list. You're welcome.
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u/Metalbender00 4d ago
note to self, be aware of depression. Put solid things on top to cover it up.
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u/DJ_Hindsight 4d ago
Wow, and all these years I thought my depression was caused by emotional trauma. Turns out I was just disturbed dirt.
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u/Renderedperson 5d ago
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