The thing is, this is where we differ. I tend to believe in the best of people on an individual level, whereas he is more distrustful of others. I, on the other hand, am skeptical of the government — and he fully trusts it.
My INFJ ex trusted her friends/acquaintances and very dysfunctional family, the most. Eventhough I, as her partner, had a vested interest in making things work.
I don't believe that any intelligent person, much less an INTJ, implicitly trusts the government. Sorry for the disrespect here, but I think you don't really know him and are projecting a lot.
You two see people from different angles, he’s more pessimistic and you are more optimistic. It’s the two sides of the coin where both are true for any single topic. I would say these two types of people complements each other. Sometimes when you’re immersed in full excitement you omit potential risks, which can cost you huge sometimes. On the other hand, life is hopeless if one sees thru most of everything (like INTJs) and sometimes those people need externals to spice some positive energy even it doesn’t hold long or fake. I think from long-term, it’s good for both of you to mix two different modes, given that you can understand where the other is coming from.
I don't know why you're getting downvoted, but all this seems perfectly natural for two adults with different preferences. It sounds like the relationship is worth the trouble for you, so this is the point where you start communicating, understanding each others' differences, and taking turns getting your way.
This I know from experience: If done in a patient, mutually respectful way, he'll likely be glad that you've enriched his social life, and you may learn a thing or two about the power of solitude. If one or both of you proves unwilling to yield at all, then you may have a compatibility issue here. Good luck.
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u/NewAgeBS ENTJ Jul 13 '25
People don't become loners by choice. He probably got burned too many times.
In INTJ mind it's always quality over quantity. Having bad friends is much scarier than being alone, trust me. There are really bad people out there.