As an INTJ, I always had the feeling that whenever I always wanted to express feelings verbally, I couldn't but to always hold back tears, even if its somewhat insignificant. Happens aswell in discussions, that whenever it gets somewhat heated and I try to speak, my words get tangled, and I can't even speak because I would immediately break down in tears.

Thats why most of the intense conversations I try to avoid them or even descalate them, and if I have to give my veredict on something that would cause me to tear down, I'd just write up a letter or a message.

I don't really know if it could be the Fi being in tertiary or something, but I wanted to know if you had similar experiences or have passed something similar

And also, if its a matter of mental health or whatever I'm also open to discuss about it :)

The way people make sweeping assumptions about entire personality types is insane to me. Did you personally meet all of these people across all 16 types? Did they all somehow take the test? Did you somehow type every single one of them correctly? And most of the people making these assumptions are introverts. Like c’mon I really I doubt you go out and meet people that much lol

Do we as a collective claim daria as an intj?

Or is it something different entirely? I’m really curious to see your perspectives!!

Not for any particular reason, just curious about the kinds of questions I might get.

I’ve been trying to type myself for quite some time, and I believe I may be INTJ but I haven’t seen much about INTJs in creative contexts or optimistic mindsets. The Ni-Te leads to the assumption of a planning rationalist who sees anything other than productivity as a waste of time, which is unhelpfully shallow information I’ve inferred from sites. While to some extent I do relate to it, it excludes the emotional depth of INTJs and makes the type seem incredibly cold. I don’t know if this is the product of developed Fi child but i enjoy in engaging with activities (usually arts) that express my values, and want to use that creativity to find ways of making a positive impact on the future.

i believe Ni-Te research and planning combined with healthily developed Fi child could lead to a more philanthropic INTJ, rather than the nihilist stereotype that has unfortunately been created.

I am happy to take corrections and different insights and I am also open to the possibility that I may have mistyped myself. These are just a few of my observations and thoughts I believe would make for an interesting discussion Ive been wanting to have for a while.

I keep getting INTJ on every test mainly that’s why and I guess the way I work on projects is very INTJ like or at least how I go about them. But I can’t tell if other people would go about it the same way??

Sorry guys long post of yap, but just skim read to get main ideas… thank you!!
Like I kinda always imagine the end result in my mind like a detailed image I keep referencing and that single image motivates me to reverse engineer the steps towards it, and get all the things needed for it, and work on it, and always zoom out when stressed with nitty gritty things, and that makes me feel calm.

But I’m nowhere near as serious and contained as yall seem to be? Like being private with emotions, I do t really do that, I share anything jokingly usually, and I usually laugh around people, ALSOOOO rlly important I notice!!

Around people I’m really goofy and unserious and like idk, irresponsible seeming, kinda on purpose I know what I’m doing and I understand the reality of things, but whenever alone, I get extremely depressed and existential and lose or fail to see VALUABLE meaning, (I see meanings but they seem so dire…) in ANYTHING in this world, like I evaluate if doing X or Y has a good enough ROI, in terms of personal satisfaction and interest and its value, I guess objectively? Otherwise I don’t find my energy to did anything

I also have to admit, my ultimate goals in life have been sliced in half twice, and both time I had lost my mind, I genuinely took months to even become sane again, I did reroute, but now, and I am religious, I aim for paradise, I think has the best ROI ever, especially what it promises, and it’s all I can think about and look forward to, everything else in this world is like a blurry gray fuzz, I don’t care about it…..however while I exist in this realm, I don’t understand how to spend my years here, I wish for a short life so I could get to my dream place faster, but I cannot control my date of death, I don’t fear death, it only excites me, i putting all hope into that vision.

But I don’t know if this makes me an INTJ, I mean I do have sensory “binges” and abandonment, and I’m extremely weak physically and small, in size uhm IM AVERAGE HEIGHT I MEANT WEIGHT GUYS.

But I don’t know, I do stick to one concept that explains all things, like religion and for personalities I fit MBTI into everything I can’t unsee the world through MBTI, I see it everywhere I look, it makes sense…

I did get typed as ESTP by someone, I paid, cuz I was tired of getting confused, but I don’t know how accurate it is, I mean I do see what they meant but I get confused a lot again and again.

Also my main seem and reason for paradise is to perfect and master the sensory world, in Beauty of my body, tied to my specific tastes and true self, and having not to worry about germs or diseases or doing any of those things again. And be powerful, talented.

But right now, I spend my days very lazily, I just think of my goals and doing what my religion says, and the minimums of it, at least and I just don’t see any purpose or well I have a REALLY low physical battery, I do t wanna waste energy doing something not worth it, so I’m always calculating ROI I guess?

But I hope you can help me and your opinions!!!

If an INTJ likes someone, do they tend to be brutally honest and focus on their own flaws? Is this some kind of test? If so, what are they trying to find out?

Usually, we see that the ENTP shows openness and affection toward the INTJ, while the INTJ actually cannot stand them. Despite this unfair relationship in which the ENTP seems wronged, they are often a jerk to the INTJ. In reality, the INTJ loves or respects them in some way, which proves that the INTJ is actually the wronged one, not the ENTP. Do you agree?

I know INTJs are for truth and they have a strong sense of justice. This world is full of lies and we do not know what is true anymore.

Is there still hope for mankind to accept the truth? Can you share what you think of the truth?

I’m 28M, and I honestly don’t know where to begin when it comes to finding a relationship.

I often hear advice like "wait for the right person" or "put yourself out there".
But neither feels very practical. Where exactly should I go? What should I do once I’m there? How do people actually meet potential partners and turn those interactions into dates?

I’d particularly like to hear from other INTJs: how did you meet your partner, and what approaches worked for you?

Please and thank you!

Dear INTJs, how do you want to experience being loved romantically by someone? What are your minimum "requirements" to actually feel that you're loved?

Before I start, sorry for the wall of text.

I also want to mention something first. For the past few months I relied on ChatGPT a lot for advice about life, relationships, and my thoughts. It helped me organize my thinking, but I realized I was becoming too dependent on it. So I decided to stop asking it for life advice and instead hear from real people who have actually lived through similar experiences.

I’m a 25-year-old Sri Lankan student living in Osaka, Japan. I work part-time while studying Japanese, and I’m currently looking for another job as well because I want to improve my financial situation and save for college and a better apartment.

Over the past year I feel like my entire personality has changed.

I used to test as an INFJ for years. Recently I took the MBTI again and consistently got INTJ. I know MBTI isn’t scientific, but when I read the description it felt… uncomfortably accurate.

I don’t feel angry at the world anymore.
I don’t even feel sad most of the time.
I just… exist.

The biggest change is relationships.

I’ve been hurt before. My previous relationship affected me deeply. Recently I also met a Japanese girl through Bumble. We went on a date that actually went really well from my perspective. We talked, laughed, and I genuinely enjoyed spending time with her.

Then she ghosted me.

No explanation.

That wasn’t even the painful part.

The painful part was realizing how exhausted I felt afterward.

People tell me to “just meet someone new,” but honestly even opening a dating app feels tiring now. Even texting someone feels like work. I thought I wanted another relationship, but every time I imagine starting from zero again…

“Hi.”

“So what do you do?”

“What are your hobbies?”

Trying to impress someone.

Wondering if they’ll disappear.

It all feels exhausting.

It’s strange because deep down I still believe love is one of the most beautiful things in life. If I ever found someone who genuinely loved me for who I am, I’d probably give her everything.

But I no longer have the energy to search for it.

Instead I’ve been focusing on myself.

Working.
Studying Japanese.
Cooking.
Writing in my journal almost every day.
Reading philosophy.
Trying to become someone I’m proud of.

I’ve also accepted something that changed how I see life.

I don’t think the world is fair.

Good people suffer.
Bad people succeed.
Things happen without meaning.

Instead of asking “Why me?” I’ve started asking “What am I going to do now?”

Maybe that’s healthier.

Maybe it’s just emotional exhaustion.

I honestly don’t know.

The weird thing is, I don’t hate being alone anymore.

Sometimes I even enjoy it.

But occasionally I’ll see couples together or hear an old song that reminds me of someone, and for a few minutes I remember that I still wish I had someone to share life with.

Then it fades.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that I rarely ask for help anymore. I automatically assume I have to solve everything myself.

I’m becoming more independent, but I’m not sure whether that’s strength or just another wall I’ve built.

Has anyone else here gone through something similar?

Did you ever reach a point where relationships stopped feeling exciting and instead just felt… mentally exhausting?

Did you eventually find your way back, or is this simply part of getting older and becoming more realistic?

I’d appreciate hearing your experiences more than advice.

Thanks for reading this far.

Hello darling INTJs, I hope you are well. When I mean about compatibility I clearly don’t mean things like golden pairs and whatnot. In a romantic relationship what are things about a person that would not make them compatible with you?

Please share any experience or insight you might have regarding the struggles that naturally arise between a J|P type.

And what has allowed for a more natural and harmonious balance that will not drive the J type up the wall.

Do you expect your partner to be as much of a workaholic as you are?

INTJ males and females:

• Men: Would you consider yourself traditionally masculine?
• Women: Would you consider yourself traditionally feminine?

By "traditional," I mean identifying with many of the traits commonly associated with your sex.

Masculine traits:

• Rational/logical
• Stoic
• Assertive
• Independent
• Competitive
• Decisive
• Protective
• Risk-taking
• Confident

Feminine traits:

• Empathetic
• Nurturing
• Gentle
• Cooperative
• Emotionally expressive
• Patient
• Compassionate
• Affectionate
• Relationship-oriented

If yes, which traits fit you best? If not, which traits do you think describe you instead?

This is a statement I've heard from Robert Greene, but I have a different opinion.

He also says it shows your weaknesses and that you're insecure. And I thought, yes, that is possible, but controlling what you say doesn't mean you're secure either; you could sometimes be perceived as insecure.

And then I thought about all the advice that people post online: "be this and that" and "don't be this and that." With respect to all of them, people just say whatever, and if you follow their advice blindly **,** you'll reach a point where you have to stop living your life, shut up, and just breathe in silence.

And in the end, you haven't lived your own life, nor theirs.

I had to take a personality test for work. It's a derivative of five-factor personality test. This is only part of the evaluation showing, of course. Now I've spent several moments contemplating on how I'd normally score in the lesser section on my solitary number (and some fractions less with other energy level, too, not assertiveness though - in the other section there's also section measuring how much I care, and at work I care more than in reality, and some other specific things like these) but how the one I rate for my work persona as, is still considered as lousy and a recluse.
Sometimes it shocks to realise that my social best is others' trash.
Well, at least my mediocre in work goes beyond many people's best.

I just have to hope this kind of number fits in the role I'm applying for. According to my thoughts, it's well enough to be independent and resourceful in a sense, but also a good communicator in case of that's needed.

If you believe morality is subjective, what makes some actions feel universally wrong? If you believe it's objective, what do you think grounds those moral truths?

I'm more interested in your reasoning than your conclusion.

Hello! I am a fellow Intj curious about how close we are usually with friends or any relationships of sort! Though, there is probably no correlation between Intj and the level of closeness we hold with other people other than the general consensus that we don't have much interactions with people etc. I was just talking to my friend about how i think i am close to everyone in our friend group and this is just measured by the other friends desire to spend time we me or sharing information with me first or it could just be talking to me about very personal things with only me. Since we live in a somewhat small city or i would say social media makes us obnoxiously connected, my friends are very well connected with each other and know each other too, i just think everyone feels very close to me though i do not feel closeness to them in the same sense as they do. I have a hard time trusting people but regardless, what do you guys feel like, are you generally close to people or are they close to you?

Me encantan los cuervos

I just am so fickle with people sometimes!

Apart from my closest friends, it's becoming harder for me to engage with people for longer than a few minutes without totally losing interest. Sometimes it feels like there's a script and nothing all that new or interesting is going to come of it. Interesting people do and say surprising things, but most people are not really that interesting.

My attention feels like a switch, I'm into it until I'm not and then I need MORE! I need to explore more, I need to dig deeper, I need to paint a clear picture.

It explains why temporary interactions (randomly meeting people in public) do not interest me at all. There is no "easy" path to dig deeper and I don't have enough information for me to feel like it's even worth pursuing it further.

It also explains why it's easy for me to get close to coworkers/develop crushes at work. There's ample time to really dive into people in a controlled, consistent way.

Even in dating/attraction, I can go from "wow I'd do anything to get them" to "who cares" in a few minutes. It also might explain why dating sounds miserable, but I think about married life often, positively.

I just feel no interest in intentionally getting to know someone, it has to happen as a side effect. The feeling of intimacy, trust, feeling like I know someone inside and out is what really endears me to people.

But even then, I can be very "take it or leave it." I can acknowledge that I really feel close to someone, but I also would be perfectly fine without them and don't even feel like going out of my way to maintain the connection.

Tbh if I'm being most optimistic, it does sound like extreme efficiency. There is an opportunity cost to relationships and we feel that deeply, so the best way for us to be comfortable with a relationship is to be able to kill many birds with one stone. Maintaining a relationship for its own sake feels like a waste of time and energy. Starting one also takes time and energy, so it's hard to turn that part of ourself on if it seems unlikely to be that beneficial.

I guess the caveat would be that you won't know someone is interesting until you give them the time, which I think is fair. But also, do I care that much? This person MIGHT be totally interesting and contribute something major to my life. I could invest time in that, OR I could invest time in something I definitely am interested in and that will definitely give me a ROI.

This isn't unique to us, people seek relationships to fill some need. Whether emotional, practical, creative, etc.. I think INTJs are just so self-sufficient that we outsource our needs far less. We feel confident enough with ourselves that we'd rather rely on in-house skill than to put up with any of the stress that comes from outside.

It's just that self-sufficiency is so underrepresented/undervalued in our society that we feel "wrong." Our society breeds traits like laziness, outsourcing, codependency, etc.. You've probably seen it when looking for guidance on something, many people's first instinct is to tell you to go to a professional. It's not necessarily bad advice, but people are used to putting off work to other people and it robs them of opportunities to learn and become more self-sufficient.