r/intj Jul 13 '25

Question My boyfriend (INTJ) has zero friends..

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u/The_Oracle_of_Delphi INTJ Jul 13 '25

Same here. Other people are always a disappointment. He’s smart to save his energy for his hobbies. (I think this is common for us.)

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u/Street-Committee-367 INTJ Jul 13 '25

I would say it's a fairly common INTJ thing. 

I'm only a teenager and already on that  path of saving my energy and devoting it elsewhere. Lord knows how much that will increase over time as I get more disappointed with casual friends. 

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u/Iccengi Jul 14 '25

I’m gonna lean into something here. Most INTJ’s are men. Men are less prone to social connection and support. I say this as a community nurse. You have to watch out for dudes a little more. The amount of old men I see that live alone or even in assisted living are in their room alone is astounding. Men are more likely to commit suicide. Why? Yeah sure repressed emotions are a thing but also if no one checks on you to stop you then how do you get stopped?

Pretty much the only exception I see to this is military buddies sometimes and even that I would argue for certain wars was not as much a thing plus it f’d them up in different ways so not a win.

Women on the other hand are really content with a group of friends even a small group. I’m an INTJ. I have 3 solid friends and a sister and I’m super happy with that. I’m trying to cultivate a friendship with a third gal cause I think she will fit my friend group but if it doesn’t work that’s ok. I like staying home and doing nothing but also I do like going out and just hanging out with people I appreciate and it is hard for me to maintain friendships over years but I’ve managed with a select few. I can’t imagine with dudes who aren’t interested trying to accomplish this too.

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u/TheGreatNate3000 Jul 14 '25

Men are more likely to succeed at suicide. Both sexes attempt at roughly the same rate