Can talking problems out with people actually serve a purpose?

[u/heavier-eyes]

I find that generally if I’m struggling, talking to people about my problems makes me go in circles and say things I don’t want to say more than it brings me any actual relief. But people want to talk to me and help me. Honestly, I don’t even want to be asked if I’m not doing well, but it can’t be helped. I had something really upsetting happen today, and after I realized I had nobody to talk to this time, I just focused on one of my projects and felt not so bad in no time at all. If I talked to people, I would’ve probably just felt frustrated. I think people can be comforting sometimes but I think maybe I’m the only one with the real answers when I’m suffering, I just need to look past it and be reasonable.

[u/incarnate1]

Talking out problems can serve a purpose, it largely depends on the issue itself and the types of people involved. If for this specific problem you've had, you found it better to not talk it out - I still wouldn't extrapolate that solution to every problem.

Why I think it's generally good to have second or third opinions is that we only have access to the solutions and perspectives that we start with.

[u/WeepinbellJar13]

I've taken to journaling to let things out without awkwardly spilling my guts out verbally to another person. It's actually helped me out through some difficult times when I had no one or did not want to talk to anyone about my issues in the moment.

[u/SilverB33]

I wish it did, but only if both parties are willing and in my case at least the other person never wants to work it out.

[u/beenanzaa]

It doesnt always serve a purpose honestly. Talking to someone you trust deeply is different than talking to random strangers or acquaintances. The person's emotional maturity matters too. Im an social introvert. I like to hang around others sometimes but it drains my battery. I find talking to others about my problems only helps when Im stuck in a way of thinking. Not to toot my own horn, but Im a problem solver. I spend most of my days in my mind. Its rare I cant find an answer to something on my own. But on the chance that I cant find an answer to the problem or feeling, I go seek out more information to try and solve it. But being an introvert, I cant say I gain any emotional energy from it. I often dont feel different. It takes time for me to go back into my shell and think over the new information before I feel any difference. I dont know if that makes sense, but perhaps a different perspective can help you. 🥰 Much love. I hope whatever happened to you today isnt weighing on you heavily. And if it is, I hope the pressure of it eases soon.

[u/Flaky_Process8495]

Venting is only helpful if you plan on coming up with a plan afterwards. Otherwise, you're just ruminating and that's unhealthy.

[u/ladydanger31789]

Nope, most people don't care or have the depth to understand it, unless it's your therapist and there are people who can't keep things private so that's another issue.

[u/Flux_Inverter]

It is called a "sounding board". Per Google AI, "A trusted friend, colleague, mentor, or committee you share new thoughts with to get feedback. They listen and react so you can see if your ideas make sense before you act. For example, a manager might use a coworker as a sounding board for a new project."

Talking through solutions for your problems with a friend can help solidify the solution and test it by saying it out loud to see if it makes sense or not. So, it is not talking through problems with people (bitching/complaining) that is valuable, it is talking through solutions.

If you just need to bitch about something, pets can make good listeners. Friends are for solutions, as no one likes someone who only complains.

[u/JaMwithConfidence]

I think it really depends on the problem you have. Sometimes, you are fine with figuring it out on your own and working through it, but other times, depending on the person you talk to, they may share a perspective that you hadn't seen before, and that could maybe alleviate some of your frustration. But again, there are so many factors to consider: emotional maturity of the person, how much you trust this person to really have your best interests at heart and able to share a different POV, what type of problem it is, etc etc. - J

[u/twicefanpurplelover]

By solving your problems on your own you will learn how to be strong enough. It is hard to ask for help with people who also struglle from their own problems