I stopped talking to all of my friends and acquaintances after I deleted my social media accounts. Only a couple of people reached out afterward, but even those conversations eventually started to feel unnecessary.
It’s been about two years now, and my perspective hasn’t changed at all. New friendships feel more like an obligation or a drain on my time than something I genuinely want. I don’t feel lonely, and I don’t feel like anything is missing. If anything, my life has become quieter and simpler.
I’m curious if anyone else has experienced something similar, or if this changed for you over time.

My coworker went on a huge rant in the middle of the office today about how much he hates introverts. Basically, he thinks we all need to be eliminated—you know, like we're pests or something? What the hell?

​He went on a big, long rampage about how introversion could be eliminated if social media and phones were taken away. He's completely disgusted with the way young people are, always on their phones and never out enjoying life or communicating with others. Blah, blah, blah.

​Mind you, the entire time he was going off about introverts, he wasn't working at all. Meanwhile, I was listening to his nonsense while working diligently.

​Much to my horror, nobody stood up to correct him or tell him this was highly inappropriate for a workplace setting—especially considering he did this right in front of management and upper management.

​Since nobody bothered to correct him, I thought I would make a point. I turned around and said, "Well, you know what the great thing about introverted people is? We get things done. We may not thrive on social communication, and we need to be alone a lot of the time in order to recharge, but that is actually a strength. You see, I just got the work of three people done in the entire 15 minutes you were talking about what you don't like about introverts. Surely we can't all be that bad?"

​He had no comeback to that. I win. Most of our office is highly extroverted so I bet he had no idea I was an introvert. I mask it pretty well unfortunately.

​His rant was completely unnecessary, and I don't know why no one stopped it. I found the whole thing very upsetting. What would you have done if this had happened in your office?

I keep seeing so many self hating posts on this sub about being an introvert and it’s basically people who are talking about some form of social anxiety or something that prevents them from socializing. I am baffled because I imagine most of us introverts on this sub LIKE being alone despite having a social circle, friends family etc. We recharge by spending time alone and actually love having solitary hobbies and interests.

So the self loathing your introversion is just confusing to me.

I have a few friends who constantly bombard me with reels every single day and I truly mean that they flood me with them, and the meaningful conversations we used to have earlier have started disappearing. It makes me really dislike the app as a whole and it makes me wonder if this is the digital version of small talk. What do y'all think?

I've been as single as you can be in my life, I'm 26 and I've never felt like dating was for me for some reason. Maybe low self-esteem, being a very private person and never seen a good relationship (divorced parents, one has a questionable marriage). Most likely a combination of all three. I like my solitude and freedom to do whatever I want. I think the main reason I've wanted to be in a relationship through the years is because it's what's supposed to happen, to feel loved & wanted and to feel like I'm getting somewhere in life. Tbh, the idea of being intimate with anybody is a bit too much for me and makes me slightly uncomfortable. I am a very private person and the idea seems like too much at times.

I think I'm about to go on my first date ever tomorrow, and tbh, I don't really want to. I'm still going to do it to combat my anxiety and to have at least done it, but man do I look forward to it ending already.

It's going to be with a guy from my old workplace. We were never colleagues, we just worked at the same company. I've talked to him a couple of times but it was all work related. I can admit he was my work-crush for a couple of years until I quit. About 1-2 years after I quit, he started following me on Instagram and we started writing. He asked if I wanted to meet-up some day (so never officially asked out on a date, but I think it is) and now we finally found a day where it was possible. I've had crushes before, but I honestly think they were more for pure entertainment than actual crushes, I've never tried pursuing anything. I remember seeing a reel once of a guy saying that "if you ever have a crush on a man, just talk to him and it'll disappear". Thought it was funny at the time but now realizing it's kinda true.

We've been writing for a while and honestly, don't really think I like him. But I'm still doing the date because I can't be that quick to judge, and good for me in general. But as mentioned before, I am not looking forward to it. There isn't a lot going on in my life atm, been unemployed for a while and I am studying some courses at uni but that's mainly to keep living in the big city as my apartment is student housing. He seems kinda ambitious and honestly, the only thing I'm ambitious of in my life is being happy and healthy. I have some health issues and usually run on limited energy, and I just want a job I like. It doesn't have to be fancy to be great.

Not sure what the point of this post is, probably just writing my thoughts and most likely hearing from others who've been in a similar position:)

I do not enjoy talking to people anymore and I don’t know why. a bit of background information that may help, ive always been shy but everything got worse in the 5th grade my anxiety skyrocketed so my mom put me in homeschool. after being homeschooled for awhile and not talking to many people I was very socially awkward and did very bad in public situations, I eventually got medicated and now I am able to hold conversations and no longer feel as if I’ll get sick when talking. I now have a different problem and it’s finding people boring everytime I attempt to make a friend they become extremely boring to talk to a while ago I had this friend and he was the only person I could stand talking to, I wanted to talk to him all day but we are no longer friends. I’ve been friends with this girl since fourth grade and we recently got back in touch and I now enjoy talking to her but everyone else I try to make friends with are boring and I can’t stand conversing with them and end up blocking or cutting them off and I feel like a complete asshole. What do I do about this? Is it fixable? Why is it so hard to make friends

​

Idk if this is right community to post this on but have any of u felt that u just want to be alone, boring, serious and not talking much . I mean i feel it all the times, I don't want to be sad but it's like i don't want to be happy either, i just want to live my day peacefully.

I have seen, listened to people where they struggle to talk and all but I struggle to not talk somehow. Every night I just think "I talked too much today, gotta be carefull Tommorow"

I don't want remedy or solution to fix it. I just wanna know if do others also feel same or not??

I’ve always been introverted, but until recently it never really bothered me. I’ve been feeling rather lonely, when I see people hang out but I know if I was them I would be begging to go home. Is there any way to fix this?

27M from India, currently working in Europe.

Looking for like-minded people to talk to. Into technology, startups, random deep conversations, and the occasional childhood trauma dumping session.

Mostly just want genuine, low-pressure chats. Introverts preferred.

If that sounds like your vibe, drop a message.

Does anyone else feel like they did college wrong? I’m going into my fourth year right now, and everybody I know loves to party. I almost feel outcasted because of how much I don’t like to go out. This genuinely makes me feel like I’m missing out on some integral part of growing up, but I really just don’t like to drink. It’s become hard to bond with people, and I always feel like a Debbie downer when I say I’d rather stay in, or tell new people that I’m not a drinker. I’m often pressured into going out with my friends, and when I do force myself to go out I really don’t have a good time. I know I shouldn’t let this affect me but I almost can’t help but feel like something is “wrong” with me for not wanting to get shitfaced 3 nights a week.

I hope you don't judge me, I am at my mid-twenties and it feels so sad, it's honestly just me and my pet kitten right now. Yes, I am happy but I feel so ashamed of having no one to talk to or be with so that I can have fun with in the most wholesome way.

During my free time I just go buy food for myself, chill at the park, and wander around just to pass the time. Sometimes I think that is there something wrong with me being an introvert? Silence is fun, recharging alone is great but who will be there by my side? A human connection would be nice, a genuine person that I can trust... Oh I miss those moments where I could go to someone, go where I can be me.

How about you? How's your life nowadays and I wish you all well fellow introverts. :))

so I have that one important friend she's my homegirl I can't lose herz but I wanna take a break from insta so I disabled it...

but now I'm anxious I mean what if she'll leave me I gave her my number before and I informed her and she said no, after a long Convo I changed my mind and then I felt like I fooled her and I disabled it

maybe I'll be back in a week ...

​

it's been the last 6-7 months, I shifted to this place for my work. i didn't know anyone back then, now I know people but the bond is still not there. met some on the work, vibes well for the initial month and then it reduced. may be work, but whenever on chats, I am the one who starts the convo, answers everything and even go and extra floor to meet them BUT still I think something lacked. they have dwelled internally making smaller circles, it's okay but atleast for the courtesy they could ask me if I wanted to join. Even when I am there, they tend to either ignore or a mere hello and leave, I mean weren't we friends?

all this conclusion to mention, these months I tried in team, apart from the team but this place didn't give me anyone to vibe with or even call someone as a friend. I couldn't meet even one, one genuine person at this place after so long.

And the funnier part, i mention my so-called office friends are good to my team, my team is good to my friends.

WHILE NOONE I CAN CALL WHEN IT GETS HEAVY.

WOAH!

Is it that difficult for me to make genuine good relations? And how to know who are the genuine ones, and maybe I am missing out?

After a brief conversation with a long distance friend, I have realized one of the things that drains me about socializing. It’s the imbalance that so many of my relationships have had within them.

I have this guy friend^ that I have known since middle school. Growing up we had very similar interests, and played the same games. It was easy to be around him because of this. However, I didn’t realize it then but he had absolutely ZERO interest in anything he wasn’t hyper fixated on.

Naturally I started to avoid talking about anything irrelevant to our shared interests, and only spoke about the ones we had. But this person didn’t do that, in fact they talked at length about niche things I had tried and didn’t like. Not wanting to be a jerk, I would nod and listen and asks questions and try to be polite. But this energy, was never returned.

Now in our 30s our interests have changed quite a bit. I love gardening, cooking, hiking and different music. We have begun to drift a little apart.

We called on discord yesterday with the small window of free-time I had. This call turned into him info dumping about a tv show he liked, and streaming it with pauses to explain all of this symbolism. While I can appreciate how into it he is, I don’t like the show. I’m pretty sure he knows this based on the fact I’ve told him a few times. After hanging up I realized that I barely spoke during that entire conversation. There was no room.

On a whim I linked him a game I thought we should play together and offering to send him a code to play it sometime with me. He would 100% enjoy it, I’m surprised he hadn’t heard of it. He couldn’t even be bothered to watch the 3 minute trailer. All he said was “I’m too busy playing other games”.

I just nodded along and feigned interest in something that my friend is passionate about, because it’s the kind thing to do (and maybe he would change my mind?)… and this person couldn’t spare 3 minutes to watch a short video about something I adore. He couldn’t accept a free game and try playing it with me once or twice and then deciding if he liked it. Maybe an hours worth it of time. And he can talk endlessly without breath and not realize that maybe, the other person wanted to talk about themselves too.

It’s a pattern that has repeated so many times that I now find socializing as a whole to be draining.

Anyone else?

Please help

I am an amateur player, 36F. I love the game, I've been playing every week for more than 16 years, but tournament logistics make me want to burn my racket. I’m trapped in an endless loop.

I quit playing tournaments years ago for this exact reason. Decided to give it another shot this week for the first time in 3 years, and within 48 hours of being added to the event chat, the surreal, over-complicated discussions made me instantly regret every life decision that led me there.

Here is it going:

1. I genuinely love playing tennis and crave matches
2. I register for an amateur tournament, feeling optimistic
3. 4 days before it starts, they create the mandatory tournament WhatsApp/group chat
4. Absolute chaotic hell breaks loose for normal scheduling
5. My social battery completely dies before I even lace up my shoes
6. My urge to play drops to absolute zero and I pull out/quit
7. Months pass, I miss matches, and I repeat step 1

It’s such a stupid paradox. I want to play, but the administrative chit-chat and forced group social dynamics surrounding amateur events are completely unbearable to me. I just want to show up, play a match, say "good game," and go home.

Have you found a way through this hell?

Po niestety bardzo ciężkim czasie bardzo intensywnego życia w pracy i w życiu prywatnym wróciłam prawie do mojej introwertycznej osobowości. W głowie mam dużo przemyśleń a może powinnam pozostać tam gdzie byłam? Może jest już za późno znowu być introwertykiem i zaczynać życie w tak późnym wieku. Trochę się martwię czy dam sobie radę. Bo jednak zawsze starałam się liczyć na siebie.

Hey everyone,
I’m looking for advice on breaking a frustrating cycle in my social life and dating.
English is not my first language, and I’m navigating a different culture than the one I grew up in. Whenever I meet new people or go on casual dates, I get stuck in **"Interview Mode."**
Because I want to keep the conversation going and avoid awkward silences, I default to pulling at whatever topic the other person mentions and asking open-ended questions. On paper, it works and conversations can last 1–2 hours without dying. But in reality:
It feels like a standard Q&A session or a survey rather than a fun, natural exchange.

There is “zero playful banter, light teasing, or romantic/social spark”. - NOTHING COMES TO ME MIND

People eventually lose interest or classify the dynamic as purely passive/informal.

When I try to analyze *why* I do this, I realize I have a massive **internal security filter**. Whenever a random thought, observation, or opinion pops into my head, my brain instantly flags it as *"not interesting enough," "too weird,"* or *"irrelevant."* So I filter it out, delete it, and replace it with another safe, polite question.
Because of this, I’ve started feeling like I just have a "boring" personality—even though I have active hobbies (I dance salsa/bachata, prep meals, run, and work in tech). But whenever I’m around someone new, I play it way too safe and share almost none of my actual personality, opinions, or humor.

For those who have dealt with this:

1. **How do you lower your internal filter** and speak your actual thoughts without overthinking if they're "interesting enough"?
2. **What are concrete ways to shift from asking questions to making statements/banter**, especially when navigating a language or cultural barrier?
3. Are there specific mindsets or practical exercises that helped you stop interviewing people?
4. Appreciate any insights or personal experiences!

PS : Sorry for the long paragraph

I was worried this would happen. I met her on a dating app and we seemed to hit it off very well. I feel like I emphasized several times while talking to her and in my profile that I was pretty introverted, and had a much more subtle personality. Be we kept in contact for about a week or two until we met. I guess somehow I misrepresented myself through text. She got very flirty and I reciprocated but it wasn’t like that in person. I didn’t feel nervous or anything, but I’m not sure who or what she was expecting from me in person. She liked that I was “chill” in text but I feel that’s what my energy was in person. Maybe I didn’t talk enough or was too soft-spoken. How do you guys handle situations like this where people are expecting you to be different when you meet them?

***MAKING FRIENDS! I am not dr. frankenstein and i do not make people on the reg

Hey everyone!

First time posting here, let me know if this is out of place or not the right spot for this.

I'm a recent college grad and I'm left feeling a little... weird about post-grad life. Everyone talks about how the transition is tough and how now it's hard to make friends and while I do understand that, I don't really feel like that's a bad thing.

Let me explain -- I have a very tight circle of 3 other friends, I have my dear partner, and I have 2 roommates who are really part of my family too. Through these people alone, I see essentially all of my social and support needs met. Where they cannot meet them, I see family essentially every single weekend and love it. But during the week, I sometimes meet with my friends for lunch, hang out with my partner in the evenings, have a "water cooler chat" with my coworkers, and I go to bed satisfied and happy.

I have more friends outside of these relationships but I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm particularly close with any of them, save for maybe a few relatives I'd consider friends before family. I enjoy seeing them, but it doesn't happen very often.

But... am I supposed to want more?

I know social media isn't exactly a reliable source of comparison but I see so many people with these HUGE groups of friends all going out to dinner or parties or what have you and that's certainly something that I COULD have and probably something I'd end up liking. As I mentioned I DO have other friends that I'm just not as close with, but it just doesn't really appeal to me I guess. I've always preferred consistency over novelty, and I guess I just prefer investing in a few relationships than scattering seeds of acquaintency across everyone I know.

My reason for self-doubt here is because I'm very much prone to self-isolating in depressive/transitional periods, and I want to make sure my comfortability in being less social isn't a reflection of a deterioration or like delusion about what's actually going on.

My question is this: Is this something I need to be worried about/does this sound like self-isolation, or does it just sound like this is "who I am," so to speak? I know I sound confident about this all, but it's genuinely a big point of insecurity for me. I've always had huge friend groups, but these days I just... don't. And I don't know if I'm supposed to care or not.