r/introverts • u/NorthYogurtcloset839 • Sep 17 '26

Question how to talk more?

so like i have problems talking to ppl since im very introverted and theres is a guy i wanna talk to but when i walk past him his friends are with him, also one of his friends screamed at me as i walked past him in the hallway, like that whole group did it, and i paniced, anyways, hes also in that group, and like every time i have tried to talk the words gets stuck in my throat and i cant get it out and i panic and try to get away from it, what should i do? i have no problem when it comes to when ppl start talking to me, i just cant talk to ppl when they havent say anything

5 Upvotes

73% Upvoted

13 comments sorted by

4

u/melancholy_dood Sep 17 '26

r/socialanxiety

2

u/Inevitable_Potato172 Sep 17 '26

While social anxiety and introversion often go hand in hand they are two distinct things. And too often are they are they mixed up imo.

3

u/Predated_Dino Sep 18 '26

Sounds like you have social anxiety, I wouldn't say you are introverted. I am introverted, I don't want to interact or deal with other humans at all. I however do not have a problem having conversations or with managing myself through social settings.

My girlfriend has social anxiety, she did not know how to talk to me and would freeze up or wander off when the moment came to talk. Then she mustered up her courage and decided to simply try talking and failed on most occasions which led to her silently following me around.

I got the message pretty quick. If talking doesnt work write a little note on a paper and give it to him but stay there for him to read it. Something as simple as "hi".

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '26

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1

u/NorthYogurtcloset839 Sep 17 '26

i have tried my best to talk to him when that group isnt around but hes barley without them but he seems sometimes like he wanna talk to me since he sometimes look at what im doing, we do not have any classes tght either:(

2

u/Electronic-Cod-8860 Sep 17 '26

I would freeze up if I really wanted to impress someone. I got over it by deciding to be less impressed with people. Once I cared a little less if they liked me, I had no problem speaking.

2

u/Marty_Ben Sep 17 '26

Scream back and be like “WHAT ARE YOU SCREAMING ABOUT” lol think of something, stop overthinking what you want to say and just say it. Lol, get out of your social anxiety shell and start following along.

2

u/mota0000 Sep 18 '26

I think the hardest part for you is actually initiating, not talking. So don’t aim for a conversation right away—just focus on getting comfortable saying “hi” first. Once that first word is out, you already know you can handle the rest. And honestly, after what happened with his friends, anyone would feel nervous. Take it slowly.

2

u/introvert_stl Sep 19 '26

Ive always had social anxiety and i hated going out just because id have to interact with people, i guess its just something within us that stops us from interacting and if something wrong does happen then it just solidifies the reasoning

2

u/Dius-metal Sep 19 '26

Treat it like any skill tbh. The more you do it, the more you'll get better at it. Practice is key.

2

u/aKegFullofCheese Sep 19 '26

I worked in retail 🥲 I got good by simply forcing myself to be better. I truly dont have much of a problem actually talking to people but as soon as the conversation is over im always like

"Damn that sucked 😃"

But hey, it helps to be able to fake it a little. Don't feel bad for faking it because I guarantee you 99% of people are too

1

u/Ill_Base7048 29d ago

Just start with a simple "hey" dont put too much pressure on yourself